Recently my dog had it's head stuck in a beaver trap and almost bit my finger off when i was taking her out of it. The universe misunderstood my love for my dog and my finger as hatred and said "yes" I'll remove them for you. Problem was the universe didn't finish the job b/c the E.R. was able to sew my finger back on and I was able to resuscitate my 'believed to be dead' dog. The universe must have realized it made a mistake when my wife was hysterical and therefore changed the outcome (several hands controlling the remote?). Anyway, I was looking at the bright side of things when the doctor said I might lose the finger if it got infected...I would then be an amputee:) I was going to go on a mission to all faith based salesmen and see what they could do about regrowing my finger. Oh well. Maybe next time I'll lose a limb, as a matter of fact I'll experiment, rest assure I'll keep everyone posted as to the outcome.
Dear Mr. or Mrs. Universe, will you please remove my left leg so that I can ask you for it back?
Doubtfully yours,
Subject
p.s. When i say left leg, I mean left from my perspective looking out, not you the universe looking in. I really don't want you misinterpreting this one.
p.s.s. Do I have to actively seek out my desires with action? Do I have to start juggling chainsaws with my legs or something to get my wish? Please write the answer via a painful stigmata on my right leg.