http://www.porctherapy.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Porc-Therapy-2012-01-06.mp3
In this episode of Porc Therapy Stephanie and Dale discuss BDSM in a extra end thingy. I think they come off as collectivising and judgmental.
My take:
1. A perceived kink doesn't indicate childhood trauma every time.
2. It doesn't indicate some deep, need-to-be-solved problem either.
1. Conceded. FWIW, I believe I repeatedly pointed out that I was just contemplating things in a new light based on extensive negative personal experiences with people into BDSM and that I had not come to conclusions about it, and most certainly nothing scientific or study-related. In fact, on listening to the show afterward, it got a bit redundant. I was so eager to put disclaimers on practically everything I said about my very personal experience.
2. I honestly don't know and I said as much on the show. I just expressed myself honestly about having overwhelmingly negative anecdotal experiences that left me more guarded and, using a BDSM term, my limits shrank quite a bit as to what I'm willing to experiment with. Will they expand some day? Maybe. I'm only 43 years old. Maybe I'll have some BDSM experience (within my newly restricted limits) that feels really positive and healthy for both partners and I'll feel like pushing my boundaries outward again.
I do apologize for the extent to which I failed to convey that I'm no expert and that my personal experience should not be interpreted as any sort of universal judgment on BDSM. I'm not going to apologize for being honest about my personal experience.
I am wide open to a dialogue with people who are more experienced and have a more positive take on it. I would, however, like it to get past complaining that I don't just immediately say what people want to hear. It's like people want me to talk like an expert when I very clearly expressed right off the bat that I'm not one.