1. You are stupid.
Obviously false. You should pick on something that might actually be true, such as the possibility that I'm ugly. I'm not, but there's room for doubt on an internet forum. I suppose it doesn't really matter, though, because either insult makes you sound like a third grader. "I've got nothing, so.....you're a big stupid-head!"
2. You wish that I would have sex with you.
Yes, I have a secret overwhelming desire to sleep with people who wish anal herpes upon me and think that women are dirty vehicles of sin for not wanting to become baby factories. You've discovered my deepest, darkest fetish. Congratulations!
3. You admitted to being on birth control for some 16 plus years.
15, actually. I'm looking forward to at least 40 more. Shall I write you next anniversary?