Sex on a first date.

Slut

2 (4%)

Bitch has issues

1 (2%)

As a man, I would not have sex on the first date

17 (34%)

As a woman, I would not have sex on the first date

2 (4%)

Win

21 (42%)

Maybe

7 (14%)

Total Members Voted: 25

[Elitist Bitch]

This is a funny question, I think.  I mean, "first date" sex implies you're planning to see this dude again.  I assume this is different than a one-night stand.  I don't consider one night stands to be a bad thing, though I've never had one. (as long as it's safe).  "Giving it up" on the first date is a bad idea if you're really interested in the other person at all in my opinion.

[Rillion]

Date is a very subjective term, half the time, you're not even on a fuckin' date. 

This.  I don't think I've had a "date" with someone since high school (i.e. virgin time, mainly) that wasn't with somebody I was already "dating"-- i.e., in a relationship with. 

Generally speaking, I know a guy for a while.  We spend time together at various times in various places with various people, but not on a "date."  Then at some point, we fuck.  Then we either choose to go on fucking, or not.  Isn't this pretty much the way it is for most of the Western world?  Is that slutty?

Actually, do I care?  No.  Any guy who would call a woman a slut for being willing to sleep with him  "too early" should apply that little slut lens to himself and ask why she's a slut and he isn't.  And if he's a slut too, then perhaps it's not so bad to be a slut, is it?  Pick one.  I don't especially care which, but pick one.  Either you're a slut too and should go home and beat yourself up about it, or being a slut isn't a bad thing and there's no reason you shouldn't happily be sluts together with the girl. 

Relationships start sluttily.  This really needs to be acknowledged.  They start nicely, but they also start sluttily, and those are not necessarily any less respectable or healthy or whatever.  You're just less likely to hear about them at cocktail parties because Jim and Melissa aren't going to think that people want to hear about how they initially hooked up in a bowling alley bathroom, or drunk off their ass in a lake at Jimmy Buffet booze cruise, or at an S&M club or whatever.   One of my heroes is Dan Savage, who initially hooked up with his now-husband of ten years in the bathroom of a gay bar on the night they met.   That's slutty as all hell-- but maybe it's okay because they're gay?  Any woman who would do that, on the other hand, is a nympho whore-bag.   

Of course, it's kind of handy self-fulfilling prophecy, isn't it?  It's too bad if you're dating a guy who is going to think you're somehow subhuman for sleeping with him too early but doesn't explain that he is, or when is "too early" for him, and you end up having to sleep with him before finding that out.  But at least then you know never to sleep with the asshat again.  And at least the sex wasn't tainted prior knowledge that it was with an asshat.  Life goes on. 

Here endeth my rant. 

[One two three]

Generally speaking, I know a guy for a while.  We spend time together at various times in various places with various people, but not on a "date."  Then at some point, we fuck.  Then we either choose to go on fucking, or not.  Isn't this pretty much the way it is for most of the Western world? 

Not always.  Sometimes a person meets another person and is interested in that person.  They may ask for a number and contact the person to set up a date (like go out for coffee or to eat).

[YixilTesiphon]

Any guy who would call a woman a slut for being willing to sleep with him  "too early" should apply that little slut lens to himself and ask why she's a slut and he isn't.

This is true.

[Rillion]

Generally speaking, I know a guy for a while.  We spend time together at various times in various places with various people, but not on a "date."  Then at some point, we fuck.  Then we either choose to go on fucking, or not.  Isn't this pretty much the way it is for most of the Western world? 

Not always.  Sometimes a person meets another person and is interested in that person.  They may ask for a number and contact the person to set up a date (like go out for coffee or to eat).

I didn't say always.  I said "generally speaking." 

And honestly, if I had just met somebody and he asked for my number to go out on a date, I would say no (have said no).  Regardless of who he is.   The last thing I want is to agree to a sustained amount of time spent with somebody I hardly know with an underlying expectation of romantic involvement, and nobody else directly involved to interact with.  That's just asking for trouble.  There's no easy way to extricate yourself from something like that if you're not having a good time or don't especially like the person without either lying or looking like a bitch.  It's both too small and too large an amount of time to try and get to know somebody.   Too small because you've jumped straight to the idea of "courting" without even knowing much about who the other person is, and too long because, as I said, if you decide that you don't  like them then the rest of the evening is going to be painful unless you go the devious route and beg off with a stomach ache or something like that.  Plus there's the matter of who pays for what-- you can let him pay, in which case he may well conclude that it means he's entitled to something sexually, or you can insist on going Dutch in which case he may conclude that you're a control freak or a man-hater. 

Screw dating.  It's just not for me.   I see it as an attempt by both men and women to avoid appearing over-eager by inserting an awkward and formalized testing ground between friendship and fucking. 

[One two three]

Generally speaking, I know a guy for a while.  We spend time together at various times in various places with various people, but not on a "date."  Then at some point, we fuck.  Then we either choose to go on fucking, or not.  Isn't this pretty much the way it is for most of the Western world? 

Not always.  Sometimes a person meets another person and is interested in that person.  They may ask for a number and contact the person to set up a date (like go out for coffee or to eat).

I didn't say always.  I said "generally speaking." 

I never said you did say always.

[mikehz]

On the other hand, I can't say it's never actually happened...

 

[tanstaafl1981]

Win.

I don't think I'm a slut if I fuck on the first "date."  Why would I think poorly of her?  If anything, I must commend her for her good taste and for having the initiative to go after what she wants.

[Taors]

Win.

I don't think I'm a slut if I fuck on the first "date."  Why would I think poorly of her?  If anything, I must commend her for her good taste and for having the initiative to go after what she wants.

Women need their Big Geekalicious.

[upperdeck]

A planned date with a chick I like...No.....An unplanned hookup...well Hell yes!

[Keels]

Thought this would have been posted by now:



This is what I think of when I read this thread...

[matsie]

Thought this would have been posted by now:



This is what I think of when I read this thread...

mmm.  Now I'm all hot and bothered...

[mikehz]

Is...is that male, or female?

Never mind.

[JimInNY]

I'm irresistible enough that I could never blame a women for having sex with me on the first date.

[Lindsey]

I'm irresistible enough that I could never blame a women for having sex with me on the first date.

 

Pictures or it didn't happen.