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61

General / Re: My Standup comedy debut.

« on: August 21, 2009, 12:53:00 PM »

I enjoyed it.

Thanks...  I got some really good constructive criticsm on it from one of the better comedians in south florida.... 

62

General / Re: 2 Seconds or Why Producers Hate YouTube

« on: August 21, 2009, 11:39:12 AM »

The media reaction is what happens when the population has been brainwashed to believe that the state is their friend, not their enemy...

63

General / Re: My Standup comedy debut.

« on: August 21, 2009, 02:26:36 AM »

Practice segwaying from random joke to random joke maybe? I assume you think of jokes through out the day, write down, practice the delivery. Well you just need more material, and better segways.

segue not

Love it!

64

General / Re: My Standup comedy debut.

« on: August 21, 2009, 02:26:19 AM »

Practice segwaying from random joke to random joke maybe? I assume you think of jokes through out the day, write down, practice the delivery. Well you just need more material, and better segways.

Something like that....  I've got about 5 or 6 in the pipeline, and I'm thinking of ways to incorporate my balloons into the act.

65

General / Re: My Standup comedy debut.

« on: August 21, 2009, 02:25:20 AM »

I enjoyed it.

Thank you!  I just did a really bad open mike tonight, and basically, I'm too smart for the people down here in Miami...  The people are smarter the further north you go...  I might get to the Miami Improv on the 15th of september, so hopefully, I will find out.

My new Michael vick /balloon dog joke went over well to the small crowd, but everything else was sooo over there heads.... 

I've got tons of stuff to improve on, and I've got a joke about being a balloon guy lined up to try at the next open mike, too...  so If I get to the improv in september, then I'll be taping it for more critiques...   I'm trying to think up a few jokes about the federal reserve and shit, but I am not sure if I can come up with one....  once I get a premise, I'll start PMing some of you guys for opinions and ideas once I get either the setup or punch going...

66

General / Re: My Standup comedy debut.

« on: August 20, 2009, 09:04:51 PM »

It was good, but you need to loosen up a LOT.

Well, duhh..  LOL  Stagefright is a bitch that I'm trying to beat.

67

General / Re: My Standup comedy debut.

« on: August 20, 2009, 02:58:00 PM »

Gabriel Iglesias uses the word husky quite a bit.

haha.  it's funny because he's huge.

That is something that I am going to have to deal with as I lose weight.  At least the weightloss one will get funnier...

That guy has got to be pushing 400 pounds...  he makes me look thin.  He's in town this weekend and I am going to try to catch his act...

68

General / Re: My Standup comedy debut.

« on: August 20, 2009, 02:55:49 PM »

pretty good.  I can imagine you were pretty nervous,as I'm sure I would be as well.

One suggestion in addition to the delivery which will pretty much get better as you practice and get used to the public display--try to maybe work on smooth transitions between your topics.  For example, the bit about the 115 yo woman with the SS# of -3 moving into the story about you and your girlfriend was pretty abrupt.

best of luck, and keep posting more

I know...  The only thing is that That is all I had ready...  I've got about 5 more that I am working on with a comedy buddy, and I rewrote part of the first joke.    The only joke that has no truth is the hpv joke...  that was  more about wordplay, and I screwed up the delivery of the obama joke.  They say to give each joke 3 trys if not, put it away for a rainy day.  If you noticed, once I started bashing the pigs, they transitioned more smoothly as it went along.

This shit isn't easy...  there is so much more that I need to work on such as riffing with the audience, dealing with hecklers, the holiday season is coming soon, so I've got to start working on that shit as well...  As far as the whole stage persona, that is how I am in real life...  That's not going to change much...  LOL

Thanks for the input!

yes, the transitions were certainly smoother towards the end of the act.

I don't have a day job....  I'm a self employed children's entertainer trying to make the move to a more adult friendly and smarter entertainment medium because being around the kids is fun.

Give it to libman to say something like that.  LOL

oh shit...i didn't even think about that.  you should work on incorporating some balloon fun into your comedy act.  and kinda tangential, but the last time i was at the fair I saw some kids playing with swords made out of the big long balloons.  they looked like giants dicks and balls.  If I had a kid that wanted me to buy one of those I would totally say, "no, fuck that.  we're stopping at wal-mart on the way home and getting you a set of Nerf swords.  No child of mine is going to be seen playing with that suggestive balloon-art in public. "

That's the thing...  I have no desire to go blue in that fashion...  I'm smart and dark, not a pervert...  LOL  I've got this bit that I was doing for the parents at my kids parties, which is now relevant again.  I'll make a balloon dog, and say something like, I'll give this to the first person who promises that they will keep it away from michael vick...

I'll let you know how it came out.

69

General / Re: My Standup comedy debut.

« on: August 20, 2009, 02:46:41 PM »

MHO

Material was good barring the cop/thug and maybe the obama/iraq joke.

Delivery was good for a first time, not sure what to tell you except practice, obviously.

Also I think that's the first time I've heard the terms 'get busy' & 'husky' used in that sense, except on TV.

Gabriel Iglesias uses the word husky quite a bit.  it's all about his act...  he's got the famous joke on the 4 stages of fatness...  chubby, big, husky, and DAAAAMN! or something like that.  I'm thinking of trying it with get it on instead of get busy.  I'll see how it goes tonight.

70

General / Re: My Standup comedy debut.

« on: August 20, 2009, 02:43:57 PM »

[youtube=425,350]9wq-4Z0jxBw[/youtube]

Not bad, but don't quit your day job. 

I don't have a day job....  I'm a self employed children's entertainer trying to make the move to a more adult friendly and smarter entertainment medium because being around the kids is fun and easy, but with fully grown adults, it's much harder and more fulfilling.  Once you start getting the laughs, then things get really fun.

Give it to libman to say something like that. What part of constructive criticism don't you understand?  I've got a joke partially written about forum trolls that I will be getting back to soon.  I will call it my tributr to the biggest forum troll in the world, Alex Libman.

I'd like to see if you try it.  I double-dog dare you!

71

General / Re: My Standup comedy debut.

« on: August 20, 2009, 02:39:45 PM »

pretty good.  I can imagine you were pretty nervous,as I'm sure I would be as well.

One suggestion in addition to the delivery which will pretty much get better as you practice and get used to the public display--try to maybe work on smooth transitions between your topics.  For example, the bit about the 115 yo woman with the SS# of -3 moving into the story about you and your girlfriend was pretty abrupt.

best of luck, and keep posting more

I know...  The only thing is that That is all I had ready...  I've got about 5 more that I am working on with a comedy buddy, and I rewrote part of the first joke.    The only joke that has no truth is the hpv joke...  that was  more about wordplay, and I screwed up the delivery of the obama joke.  They say to give each joke 3 trys if not, put it away for a rainy day.  If you noticed, once I started bashing the pigs, they transitioned more smoothly as it went along.

This shit isn't easy...  there is so much more that I need to work on such as riffing with the audience, dealing with hecklers, the holiday season is coming soon, so I've got to start working on that shit as well...  As far as the whole stage persona, that is how I am in real life...  That's not going to change much...  LOL

Thanks for the input!

72

General / Re: My Standup comedy debut.

« on: August 19, 2009, 01:33:13 PM »

MHO

Material was good barring the cop/thug and maybe the obama/iraq joke.

Delivery was good for a first time, not sure what to tell you except practice, obviously.

Also I think that's the first time I've heard the terms 'get busy' & 'husky' used in that sense, except on TV.

thanks...  Yeah, I was nevous as hell.

I've been hearing the term husky most of my life...  LOL so I could use it...  words with hars consanants are funnyier than others..  Thanks for the info!

73

General / My Standup comedy debut.

« on: August 19, 2009, 11:25:10 AM »

I was surprised at the reaction that I got.  I wasn't sure if stuff like abusive cocktail dads, police brutality, weightloss and suicide jokes were going to go over....

Critique away, but please, don't be a dick about it.  Constructive criticism only.

[youtube=425,350]9wq-4Z0jxBw&hl=en&fs=1&rel=</object>[/youtube]

74

General / Re: Selling an exotic, potentially lethal, scorpion...

« on: August 16, 2009, 11:45:55 PM »

nobody impresses a girl by bringing an iguana to the dog park and saying, "wanna feed it a hamster?"  "wanna fucking watch it do battle with my scorpion?"

Good way to get a guy though I bet.

Oh, absolutely.  Guys are over the moon about pets that a) eat other pets, or b) can be eaten, or c) both.   Which is why I want chickens.  They eat snakes, frogs, spiders....

(Okay, it's not really why.  But it's a nice perk)

not 100% accurate....   I've never been fond of those animals...  as a matter of fact, Insects and reptiles creep me out.

75

General / Re: Selling an exotic, potentially lethal, scorpion...

« on: August 16, 2009, 09:39:29 AM »

why can't people be statisfied with either a cat or a dog, like a normal human being.

what kind of fucking creep wants a god damned alien-looking insect sitting on their aquarium next to their bed or in their living room?

Scorpions are not insects....  they are related to spiders.  More than 6 legs.