Here's my statement (names have been changed in order to protect those involved of course).
Background: Supposedly Female 1 was fondled up whilst passed out by Male 1 at a party I was at. Both people are friends of mine but now Female 1 is filing rape charges apparently. The party was at Male1's apartment he shares with a bunch of people. Also, we are all underage at the time of this incident so I cant mention us drinking alcohol (it is assumed we are of course), if we were.
The statement :
First I have some questions I need to ask you before I can give my statement:
1. My friend Male 2 got subpoenaed as a witness, does he have to go to court, if so why?
2. How did you get this number? Could you please never contact me without me having contacted you first ever again.
FYI this call is being recorded for my records.
I'm Joe Schmo and this is my statement as to what happened the night in question. I was at that house for a significant amount of time that night. It was longer than I expected because I didnt know that someone was going to be bringing Mario Party and that game changes everything. I dont know what time I left, I know it was dark when I got there and dark when I departed. I believe it was cloudy too. Also, outside their house was a girl who I didnt know who had a broken cell phone. It was missing aproximately the entire top half of the phone. I didnt arrive with Male1 or Female1 nor did I leave with them. I dont know when either of them left or if they did leave where they went or if they returned. I dont know how much, if anything at all they had to drink in the way of alcohol that night. You would have to be an idiot if you thought that anyone other than them knew that. I do remember that Male1 was playing some tunes on his laptop. It was some sort of hip-hop new crap that I dont enjoy listening to. Also, Female1 seemed to enjoy sitting on his couch, I dont think she was bothered by the music nearly as much as me but she really didnt seem interested in the fact that a really cool Rob and Big re-run was on t.v.. In the back I'm pretty sure was a crazy cool parrot that could say several phrases in spanish. Also the more sluttier girls, I have no idea who they were, briefly played a rather erotic game of spin the bottle with each other. Once I left I do not know what happened in that house. Anything I think may have happened there beyond that time was told to me through Female1. I never have had an opportunity to talk about the night with Male1.
That is all I have time to say because now I have to go to work: most citizens have to provide a valuable service to put bread on the table and do not have the luxury of demanding our pay with a gun! [hang up]