And my own drama:
"Jason Denonville
Is it too much to ask to have roommates who don't steal your food? Especially ones who are supposed to be of a libertarian mindset. Three times now."
Foodbombs* are the solution. Been around as long as food has been stolen by roomies, prolly.
You know, make something up that looks good, mix something really nasty into it. Be more creative than shit, piss or spit. Sweet baked goods with syrup of ipecac are good. Also candied bacon with it drizzled on top. Makes for really nasty tasting barf. Laxatives, of course. If you're really pissed rub a raw piece of chicken over some fruit. When I was in college I did up some jelly donuts with ipecac. Four of 'em. They were in a bag that was locked shut with a floppy disk label that had "Eat 'em and I fuck you up." written on it. The person ate all four before they started to feel bad. The effects of ipecac can come on really quick. They sprayed all over their computer, keyboard, and monitor.
There was also blue food coloring in the donuts. Enough of it that you could taste it. The person's lips and chin were blue for days.
Fuck people who steal.