If spanking is so effective why would you ever need to do it more than once?
I will go out on a limb and assume you don't have kids.
With every child there are times, some more some less, when nothing short of physical restraint will stop them from doing something actively destructive. Sticking things in electric outlets, grabbing pans of boiling water, and the obvious "running in parking lots" are great examples.
These things don't happen once. Young kids don't learn something just once. Like karate kata, there are some things that are going to have to be learned over, and over, and over, before they are "grokked".
Seems like alot of people here have bullshitted themselves into believing its some sort of miricale tool that you simply can't raise kids without.
Also the "saints" comment seems to suggest its more about the parents desire to hit the kids when they act out, not of it actually being a useful tool.
Then you're not paying attention. Look at the comments again, read carefully. You'll note that everyone who talks about spanking uses phrases like "have to" and such that indicate that people here are admitting this is not something they do without serious consideration.
Again, if spanking was actually effective, and not just something that feels like it works, you wouldn't need to do it more than a couple of times before the threat of spanking was enough.
Yes, when the child has reached a point of maturity where verbal instruction works.
It seems to me people who have unruly kids who resort to spanking, doesn't make them any less unruly. You might be able to get a token apology and get them to shut up for a minute from threat of violence (whoop de do), but it certainly isn't going to affect a long term change.
You seem to have some spark of understanding. It's not about long-term modification of behavior. If that were true, then your idea that "once is enough" would also be true, and it's not.
Raising a child is a long-term effort. Without some way to get the kids attention when it is really important (like running in a parking lot, et al) and they do not have the verbal maturity to even know what "you can die" means, then they are going to get hurt far worse than a quick spank to their bottom.
Only natural developments in maturity is going to do that, and as far as my experience goes, that happens with talking and understanding in spite of hitting, not because.
Nice textbook answer. If you do succeed in never spanking, I will salute you for it. But I fully expect, the 30th time the kid is reaching for something you have told them "no" about 29 times today already, you, too, are going to look for some way to get their attention.
There are clearly examples of parents dealing with unruly children without spanking, so this idea that spanking is the normal solution just seems lazy. I have absolutely no idea where this idea comes from that it takes less time and resources to raise a kid by spanking. You can use physical force without resorting to hitting.
If given a choice between locking the kid in a small room, tieing them up or spanking, I'll choose the last. But again, something you still haven't come to grips with: every kid is different, they respond to different things. Spanking is just one tool, not the only tool.
What I really do not like is endlessly threatening kids. "If you do that one more time... Stop that! That's enough! Stop it! 1! 2! 3! I said" etc etc. It's obvious that the kid knows as long as the parent is talking they can get away with anything. They only stop once the parent physically goes and gets them, something which was obvious to me when the shouting started.
As much as possible, I try to say "no" once, and if they continue then I stop them physically. No, not spank, just stop them. Take the thing away, pull them down off the counter, take their hand away from the switch, whatever.
And if that is enough, then great, it's over. As the child matures, more and more of the time that IS enough. Then the verbal "no" is enough. But that takes
years, and in the mean time there are going to be times that the kid looks at you, smiles, and reaches for the boiling water AGAIN just to see what you're going to do. Not once, not twice, but over and over.
Without getting their attention, they are going to get hurt. Not just sore butt hurt, but burned. Electrocuted. Cut. Impaled. Run over. Real serious shit that a kid just doesn't have the context to understand without having experienced that minor surprise of a spank that puts in context the concept of "Gee, he says this could hurt me. Maybe he does know something, I guess I'll stop."