I'm sorry I've come rather late to this debate, and apologies for the rather long post. Also I was only able to read the comments up to page 20, so someone may have already covered this perhaps. However, I think (hope maybe) it might help put peoples frustrations about Stephanie and feminism into perspective perhaps. I want to caveat firstly that I was naturally drawn to liking Stephanie from the get-go, but that it has been her particular take on this topic that has caused me some frustration with her. However, I do not consider her a man hater at all. With that in mind, I hope she looks at my criticism as constructive.
I've taken some great strides personally with many of the claims of feminism. Much of which has led me into criticising myself as a man as well. I believe what rankles many men about Stephanie's commentry around feminism. Although it eludes to equality, it mostly ignores much of men's experiences of dealing with women. At its extreme if a woman cries rape and it's false, there is little to no sympathy for such a man. Indeed the expression 'mud always sticks', is all too often the saying. In western culture very often the female who lied is still given protection, whilst the guys reputation is torn to shreds. As for all the statistics that have been banded around about female rape, much of which is questionable. With all this it's often very frustrating for men to be tarred by the same brush, as creeps, aggressive, violent, deadbeat dads, potential rapists etc etc. This is not to ignore all the issues that women suffer from. But women have a very big and very loud voice in our culture. I would go as far as to say that politically they are a protected class even. This goes against everything that mainstream feminism proclaims of course, because it suggests that men rather than women are the real victims. Of course it is the state primarily that underwrites this culture, by teaming up with feminists to use law, welfare and education to the detriment of men and more importantly fathers. I say all this knowing full well that Stephanie doesn't support much, if any of the above.
To take this to an everyday level, rather than the extremes above, Why is it that when a guy shows an interest in a women she doesn't feel attracted too, she will claim being creeped out. But as a man who on occasions of being approached by women for actual sex and just politely declined, carried on with my day unabashed. Essentially, the guy having been already rejected is now publically scolded for being a sex pest. Yet if a guy was to make the same claim about a women that he rejected, his claim would be considered as weird or odd. The ability to humiliate a man in an instance is quite a powerful weapon women have. It's a weapon that all men know only too well of course. Which is a reason why some guys are crushingly shy when approaching women. Their shyness underlying their abject terror of being humiliated publically. As men we must discover ways to attract women. These all too often involve modifying our behaviour to match the perceived needs and desires of women. So women have grown to expect this special treatment as normal. Thankfully a lot of women choose not to always wield the humiliation card. However, an equally interesting question to ask in this scenario, why do men take a woman's approach to them often as a compliment, whilst women very often view a mans approach as harassment? Notwithstanding that both men and women can 'act out' with either gender which can be considered as real 'harassment'. Anyway regardless of whether this power disparity is normal or right even. It is never discussed by so called feminists or gender egalitarians even. But it's one of a few areas in which women hold all the cards.
If Stephanie approached the topic in this balanced way, I do think she would garner a lot more support from her male audience. It's deeply demotivating for men to hear what they have been hearing all their lives from the culture they live in. Men are bad, sex fiends, dysfunctional and violent. The constant referencing to these accusations even subtly, belies the very real effort most men have gone too, in trying to understand a women's needs and desires. Since men have been taught that exposing their feelings can be very dangerous for them. Not to mention men's needs and desires very often taking second place to that of a woman's, without a blink or complaint by the man. These I consider as some of the more useful topics to engage men in the topic of 'equality', but I rarely if ever hear them being discussed. So I've said enough for now I think. I hope I made some sense.
The Free Talk Live BBS
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Topic: Less Stephanie, Please (Read 150003 times)