I am a shithead who was completely obsessed with the Free State Project and Free Talk Live. For five years, this BBS was the most important thing in my life. Frustrated with my own inadequacies, illnesses, and my inability to do anything meaningful for the cause of liberty, I spiraled into an ever-deeper depression, with my only opium being pathetic self-expression on this BBS.
Along the way, I've managed to alienate everyone I ever cared about, and eventually got banned (and, by implication, banished from the Free State Project). I've spent the next two years hanging by a thread between life and death. That banishment was an existential endpoint, the collapse of all my values, after which I have completely lost the will to live, pretty much becoming a homeless bum who endlessly mumbles something incoherent about "Ian Fraudman stabbing me in the back". This emotion overpowers all of my capacity for reason, but it is an emotion nevertheless.
I am just here to say that my banishment was not "wrongful". I alone am responsible for my actions, and no one has any obligation to "be fair to me" or "treat me like a human being". It was my decision to trust and support Free Talk Live in the foolish way that I did.
In my mind it remains the paragon of achievement, the center of my universe, the greatest pillar supporting the struggle for human freedom. I have proven myself unworthy of it, and that is the epitaph of my existence.
I have failed to accept my failure with dignity. I can only hope that others will learn from my mistake.