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Poll

What was Jesus?

God
- 2 (3%)
Christ
- 4 (6.1%)
Son of God
- 5 (7.6%)
Prophet
- 6 (9.1%)
None of the above
- 46 (69.7%)
All of the above
- 3 (4.5%)

Total Members Voted: 25


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Author Topic: What was Jesus?  (Read 25113 times)

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Johnny_

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Re: What was Jesus?
« Reply #30 on: December 14, 2006, 11:04:05 AM »

Most probably, Jesus was a follower of John the Baptist, and possibly took over leadership of John's cult after that man's death. (Some scholars even think the two were the same guy.) Years after his death, Paul elevated Jesus to Son of God status.

As a philosopher, Jesus had nothing new or interesting to say. "Be nice to others. Give to the poor." All of his ideas had been expressed elsewhere--and better--before.

You've pointed out the reason I'm no longer Christian.  Most Christians seem to worship the firemaker instead of celebrating the fire.  Jesus' message is far, far different than the intolerant ass-hattery of zealots today.  The famous stories of him dining with sinners (prostitutes, tax collectors, etc) seem to fall on completely deaf ears today. 

Another strange point: Why would Jesus consider a tax collector a sinner, yet say "Give unto Ceaser what is Ceasers, etc"?  Seems to me some King added that line in during the 31st re-write-- I mean "Translation"-- I mean, "Edition" of the bible.
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Earthwormzim

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Re: What was Jesus?
« Reply #31 on: December 14, 2006, 11:09:57 AM »

Where is the option for "Janitor"?  I personally know Jesus, and he is a janitor at a local high school.
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Lindsey

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Re: What was Jesus?
« Reply #32 on: December 14, 2006, 01:03:28 PM »

He also enjoys bowling. 
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Taors

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Re: What was Jesus?
« Reply #33 on: December 14, 2006, 01:39:48 PM »

He's also one of my unwashed friends:

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Ecolitan

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Re: What was Jesus?
« Reply #34 on: December 14, 2006, 05:04:58 PM »

"Give unto Ceaser what is Ceasers, etc"?  Seems to me some King added that line in during the 31st re-write-- I mean "Translation"-- I mean, "Edition" of the bible.

I think if he said it, it was tongue in cheek.  There were Roman soldiers around.  He never said what it is that belongs to Caesar.
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mike the godless heathen

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Re: What was Jesus?
« Reply #35 on: December 14, 2006, 06:17:26 PM »

He also enjoys bowling. 
Quote
Jesus Quintana: You ready to be fucked, man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up.
The Dude: Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
Jesus Quintana: Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."
The Dude: Jesus.
Jesus Quintana: You said it, man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.

as for who was jesus, as in the christo guy.  nobody of any import.

oh, and as for translations of the bible, i have been reading the god delusion and i love dawkins' little addendum about that:

Quote
a.n. wilson, in his biography of jesus, casts doubt on the story that joseph was a carpenter at all.  the greek word tekton does indeed mean carpenter, but it was translated from the aramaic word naggar, which could mean craftsman or learned man.  this is one of several constructive mistranslations that bedevil the bible, the most famous being the mistranslation of issiah's hebrew for young woman (almah) into the greek for virgin (parthenos).  an easy mistake to make (think of the english words 'maid' and 'maiden' to see how it might have happened), this one translator's slip was to be wildly inflated and give rise to the whole preposterous legend of jesus' mother being a virgin!  the only competitor for the title of champion constructive mistranslation of all time also concerns virgins.  ibn warraq has hilariously argued that in the famous promise of seventy-two virigins to every muslim martyr, 'virgins' is a mistranslation of 'white raisins of crystal clarity'.  now, if only that had been more widely known, how many innocent victims of suicide missions might have been saved?
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Brian Wolf

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Re: What was Jesus?
« Reply #36 on: December 14, 2006, 09:56:54 PM »



the greek word tekton does indeed mean carpenter, but it was translated from the aramaic word naggar,

Jesus was a naggar, I KNEW it!

Just a joke people.
« Last Edit: December 15, 2006, 01:52:29 AM by Brian Wolf »
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Lindsey

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Re: What was Jesus?
« Reply #37 on: December 14, 2006, 11:04:15 PM »

He's also one of my unwashed friends:



He looks...intelligent...:roll:
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Taors

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Re: What was Jesus?
« Reply #38 on: December 14, 2006, 11:42:32 PM »

He claims to be very charismatic.
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Lindsey

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Re: What was Jesus?
« Reply #39 on: December 15, 2006, 01:00:35 AM »

He claims to be very charismatic.

His picture begs to differ.   :lol:
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Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
         -George W. Bush

Trademark

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Re: What was Jesus?
« Reply #40 on: December 15, 2006, 01:23:05 AM »

What was Jesus?

Whoever he was, he was the most popular person ever! Women spend their lifes not having sex in his name, to this day! aka Nuns.
The Bible still has people willing to start worldwars over him. They are still making movies and writing books about him, and to top it all off. Most of the world celebrates his birth every year.

I don't think any human will ever top that.
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Taors

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Re: What was Jesus?
« Reply #41 on: December 15, 2006, 02:13:48 AM »

He claims to be very charismatic.

His picture begs to differ.   :lol:

He can't be edgy and charismatic at the same time?
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Lindsey

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Re: What was Jesus?
« Reply #42 on: December 15, 2006, 02:20:58 AM »

He claims to be very charismatic.

His picture begs to differ.   :lol:

He can't be edgy and charismatic at the same time?

The picture is neither edgy nor charismatic.  It says unwashed and under-the-influence to me.
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Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
         -George W. Bush

Taors

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Re: What was Jesus?
« Reply #43 on: December 15, 2006, 02:24:04 AM »

He claims to be very charismatic.

His picture begs to differ.   :lol:

He can't be edgy and charismatic at the same time?

The picture is neither edgy nor charismatic.  It says unwashed and under-the-influence to me.

I was just kidding about him being unwashed. If he was unwashed how did his hair get so perfect?
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Lindsey

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Re: What was Jesus?
« Reply #44 on: December 15, 2006, 02:25:25 AM »

It actually looks like he slept on it after it hit seven days of being unwashed. 
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Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
         -George W. Bush
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