The Free Talk Live BBS

Free Talk Live => The Polling Pit => Topic started by: error on August 20, 2007, 06:33:24 PM

Title: Toilet Paper
Post by: error on August 20, 2007, 06:33:24 PM
Over: (http://magicpork.com/images/toilet-paper-over.jpg)

Under: (http://magicpork.com/images/toilet-paper-under.jpg)

Sideways: (http://images.oldhouseweb.com/stories/bitmaps/2006/14737/large.jpg)

:shock:
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: voodoo on August 20, 2007, 06:35:04 PM
This is a psych test.  If you don't pick over you're psycho.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: NHArticleTen on August 20, 2007, 06:40:51 PM
This is a psych test.  If you don't pick over you're psycho.

Ditto
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: bonerjoe on August 20, 2007, 07:08:01 PM
I don't have a toilet paper thingee. I just leave the rolls on the counter/newspaper basket/toilet tank top. It's a lot more convenient.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Ed on August 20, 2007, 07:24:25 PM
What the shit.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: freeAgent on August 20, 2007, 07:30:55 PM
I've never understood why someone would want to roll "under".  It's annoying.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: error on August 20, 2007, 07:31:19 PM
I don't have a toilet paper thingee. I just leave the rolls on the counter/newspaper basket/toilet tank top. It's a lot more convenient.

I think you can count that as sideways.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Osborne on August 20, 2007, 07:35:21 PM
You ignorant bastards. If you roll over then any dangling of paper will be further from the wall than if you were rolling under, intruding into your valuable toilet-sitting, magazine-reading space.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Bill Brasky on August 20, 2007, 08:45:56 PM
bidet
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: voodoo on August 20, 2007, 09:59:19 PM
You ignorant bastards. If you roll over then any dangling of paper will be further from the wall than if you were rolling under, intruding into your valuable toilet-sitting, magazine-reading space.

^^ Proof that economists are NOT rational, despite our insistence that others be. ^^
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Lindsey on August 20, 2007, 11:15:59 PM
Over. 
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Porcupine_in_MA on August 21, 2007, 09:44:44 AM
Which ever way I happen to put the toilet paper roll on, I don't think about it in the slightest.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: dalebert on August 21, 2007, 02:06:29 PM
You ignorant bastards. If you roll over then any dangling of paper will be further from the wall than if you were rolling under, intruding into your valuable toilet-sitting, magazine-reading space.

That's pretty much the kind of heated reaction I got once when I suggested "over". It traumatized me so much that I'm not now an "under" guy.

EDIT: Fixed a typo that completely altered the intention of my statement  :oops:

Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Bill Brasky on August 21, 2007, 05:42:54 PM
Fuckin morons.  Look near the sink, theres a toothbrush.  Whats it for?  For scrubbing the crud off your teeth.

Now look near the toilet.  Theres an assbrush.  Whats it for?  Its for scrubbing the crud off your shitty ass.  Water, brush.  Scrub your asshole. 

The paper is for the females to blot the single drip of pee off their adorable labia.  If toilet paper was for men, it would have a steel frame, be the size of paper towels, and have pictures of tits on every sheet.

Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: cliche on August 21, 2007, 05:48:00 PM
Quote
I don't have a toilet paper thingee. I just leave the rolls on the counter/newspaper basket/toilet tank top. It's a lot more convenient.

Worst way to dispense and unsightly in my opinion.  Over ftw!

Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Osborne on August 21, 2007, 05:59:37 PM
I am surprised no one has suggested the use of those pre-moistened wipes like people use on babies. That seems to be the way to go.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: freeAgent on August 21, 2007, 06:37:39 PM
I am surprised no one has suggested the use of those pre-moistened wipes like people use on babies. That seems to be the way to go.

I've heard that using those after toilet paper works well.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Bill Brasky on August 21, 2007, 06:48:05 PM
YOUR MOMS FACE.

Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Lindsey on August 21, 2007, 09:22:26 PM
I am surprised no one has suggested the use of those pre-moistened wipes like people use on babies. That seems to be the way to go.

I've heard that using those after toilet paper works well.

I've seen them packaged together. 
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: annyab on August 21, 2007, 10:01:13 PM
Fuckin morons.  Look near the sink, theres a toothbrush.  Whats it for?  For scrubbing the crud off your teeth.

Now look near the toilet.  Theres an assbrush.  Whats it for?  Its for scrubbing the crud off your shitty ass.  Water, brush.  Scrub your asshole. 

The paper is for the females to blot the single drip of pee off their adorable labia.  If toilet paper was for men, it would have a steel frame, be the size of paper towels, and have pictures of tits on every sheet.




lol

over in this household. There is just something wrong with under
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: mikehz on August 21, 2007, 10:07:03 PM
Toilet paper, is it now? Must really be bored!

Anyway, a friend's five-year-old son once put one end of a hanging roll into the toilet, then flushed it. Damn near unraveled the entire thing.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Lindsey on August 21, 2007, 10:11:23 PM
Toilet paper, is it now? Must really be bored!

Anyway, a friend's five-year-old son once put one end of a hanging roll into the toilet, then flushed it. Damn near unraveled the entire thing.

I'm going to try this.  In public.   :lol:
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Ed on August 22, 2007, 01:17:38 AM
Fuckin morons.  Look near the sink, theres a toothbrush.  Whats it for?  For scrubbing the crud off your teeth.

Now look near the toilet.  Theres an assbrush.  Whats it for?  Its for scrubbing the crud off your shitty ass.  Water, brush.  Scrub your asshole. 

The paper is for the females to blot the single drip of pee off their adorable labia.  If toilet paper was for men, it would have a steel frame, be the size of paper towels, and have pictures of tits on every sheet.




lol

over in this household. There is just something wrong with under

What would you need toilet paper for?
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: error on August 22, 2007, 03:46:15 AM
Toilet paper, is it now? Must really be bored!

Somebody in this house keeps mounting it under, and it keeps falling into the trash can.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Bill Brasky on August 22, 2007, 04:01:51 AM
YOUR MOMS FACE.



I was completely sober, now I'm not. 

Dude, seriously, whats your problem? 

Quote from:  Bill Brasky
I don't know. 

You think that was funny?

Quote from:  Bill Brasky
Yes.

Well you're wrong. 

Quote from:  Bonghit McMyshitsfuckedup
No, I'm not.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: phantomofroute66 on August 22, 2007, 11:00:35 AM
I carry my own squares in a ziplock bag when I'm out.  That way I'm not using a roll that hangs two inches from a jet-flush toilet and gets a misty shower of shit particles from god-knows-who every time somebody uses it.

Plus some guy at the office is always beating off in the toilet and then leaving it there.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: fisher on August 22, 2007, 11:16:27 AM
I am surprised no one has suggested the use of those pre-moistened wipes like people use on babies. That seems to be the way to go.

I've heard that using those after toilet paper works well.

Now that I have to clean shit off of peoples asses alot, wipes are the way to go. My kids insist on having a box of baby wipes on the back of the toilet. Fisrt they use half a roll of toilet paper, then a  baby wipe or 50.....and they still don't flush.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: dalebert on August 22, 2007, 11:31:30 AM
I am surprised no one has suggested the use of those pre-moistened wipes like people use on babies. That seems to be the way to go.

I keep those on hand and use as needed. They are not meant to replace toilet paper. Anal hygiene is very important for gay guys. My ass is probably cleaner than most of your mouths, at least Ed and Bonerjoe's mouths. Look at the language they use here. You guys should wash your mouths out with moist anal wipes!
 :lol:
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: phantomofroute66 on August 22, 2007, 11:40:07 AM
Fuckin morons.  Look near the sink, theres a toothbrush.  Whats it for?  For scrubbing the crud off your teeth.

Now look near the toilet.  Theres an assbrush.  Whats it for?  Its for scrubbing the crud off your shitty ass.  Water, brush.  Scrub your asshole. 

Mine's an Anal B hard bristle, the butt brush most proctologists recommend.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: mikehz on August 22, 2007, 02:36:42 PM
Okay, I'm now officially no longer clicking on this thread.  :lol:
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Ed on August 22, 2007, 02:55:26 PM
I am surprised no one has suggested the use of those pre-moistened wipes like people use on babies. That seems to be the way to go.

I keep those on hand and use as needed. They are not meant to replace toilet paper. Anal hygiene is very important for gay guys. My ass is probably cleaner than most of your mouths, at least Ed and Bonerjoe's mouths. Look at the language they use here. You guys should wash your mouths out with moist anal wipes!
 :lol:


Why do you keep bringing up Jay and I? This is like the second or third time. What's the deal? Got a crush on one of us? :P
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: bonerjoe on August 22, 2007, 05:40:55 PM
I am surprised no one has suggested the use of those pre-moistened wipes like people use on babies. That seems to be the way to go.

I've heard that using those after toilet paper works well.

Now that I have to clean shit off of peoples asses alot, wipes are the way to go. My kids insist on having a box of baby wipes on the back of the toilet. Fisrt they use half a roll of toilet paper, then a  baby wipe or 50.....and they still don't flush.

I never understood why vegans use toilet paper. Use your hand, it's natural.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: The Muslim Agorist on August 22, 2007, 11:17:50 PM
Now look near the toilet.  Theres an assbrush.  Whats it for?  Its for scrubbing the crud off your shitty ass.  Water, brush.  Scrub your asshole. 

Use your hand, it's natural.

It’s funny cause you think you’re kidding

(http://www.turkeytravelplanner.com/AssetsTurkey/TravelDetails/Bath-Toilet/FlatToilet.jpg)
This has been your daily culture shock
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: bonerjoe on August 22, 2007, 11:24:05 PM
I know the left hand is the unclean hand. I'm not stupid.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Bill Brasky on August 23, 2007, 02:32:40 AM
Now look near the toilet.  Theres an assbrush.  Whats it for?  Its for scrubbing the crud off your shitty ass.  Water, brush.  Scrub your asshole. 

Use your hand, it's natural.

It’s funny cause you think you’re kidding

(http://www.turkeytravelplanner.com/AssetsTurkey/TravelDetails/Bath-Toilet/FlatToilet.jpg)
This has been your daily culture shock


I'm fully aware of the methods used for cleaning assholes in other cultures.

Consider me to be a specialist of such things, for future reference. 
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: dalebert on August 23, 2007, 10:13:04 AM
Why do you keep bringing up Jay and I? This is like the second or third time. What's the deal? Got a crush on one of us? :P

[youtube=425,350]SftUFWkPkA0[/youtube]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=SftUFWkPkA0
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: bonerjoe on August 23, 2007, 10:23:23 AM
Eww.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Ed on August 23, 2007, 11:36:30 AM
Eww.

He's totally into you, dude.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: fisher on August 23, 2007, 12:25:47 PM
I never understood why vegans use toilet paper.
they only use toilet paper that isn't made out of animal products
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: bonerjoe on August 23, 2007, 01:26:00 PM
I never understood why vegans use toilet paper.
they only use toilet paper that isn't made out of animal products


But the removal of trees kills animals. Even if they are grown for that purpose.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: velojym on August 23, 2007, 02:17:08 PM
Fuckin morons.  Look near the sink, theres a toothbrush.  Whats it for?  For scrubbing the crud off your teeth.

Now look near the toilet.  Theres an assbrush.  Whats it for?  Its for scrubbing the crud off your shitty ass.  Water, brush.  Scrub your asshole. 

The paper is for the females to blot the single drip of pee off their adorable labia.  If toilet paper was for men, it would have a steel frame, be the size of paper towels, and have pictures of tits on every sheet.




lol

over in this household. There is just something wrong with under

What would you need toilet paper for?

Cheryl Crow would love you. Evidently it only takes one square for her to wipe the cobwebs from her dried-up puckerhole, and she believes it should be plenty for the rest of us, too.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: dalebert on August 23, 2007, 04:56:47 PM
I put the toilet paper on under-handed and one of my roommates immediately flipped it.  :lol:
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: error on August 23, 2007, 07:12:19 PM
I put the toilet paper on under-handed and one of my roommates immediately flipped it.  :lol:

Asshole.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Lindsey on August 23, 2007, 09:39:48 PM
I put the toilet paper on under-handed and one of my roommates immediately flipped it.  :lol:

Asshole.

This. 
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Ed on August 23, 2007, 10:28:25 PM
I put the toilet paper on under-handed and one of my roommates immediately flipped it.  :lol:

Asshole.

This. 

...is what you wipe?
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: fisher on August 24, 2007, 09:07:00 AM
I never understood why vegans use toilet paper.
they only use toilet paper that isn't made out of animal products


But the removal of trees kills animals. Even if they are grown for that purpose.
What is your definition of vegan?
Let's look at wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vegan
Quote
Veganism (also strict or pure vegetarianism) is a philosophy and lifestyle that seeks to exclude the use of animals for food, clothing, or any other purpose.[1] Vegans do not use or consume animal products of any kind.[2]

What does killing animals have to do with using animal products?

I can be a vegan and kill animals all day long.

But hands are made out of animal products. I am not going to use my hand anymore :P
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: bad_cab on August 24, 2007, 06:57:00 PM
I use a toilet brush
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Lindsey on August 24, 2007, 11:56:08 PM
I use a toilet brush

Ow. 
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Ed on August 25, 2007, 12:53:10 AM
I use a toilet brush

Ow. 

Once you stop the river of blood, it's not so bad I hear.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Lindsey on August 25, 2007, 12:54:59 AM
I use a toilet brush

Ow. 

Once you stop the river of blood, it's not so bad I hear.

 :lol: :lol: :lol:
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Goldeneye on August 25, 2007, 03:14:51 PM
Now look near the toilet.  Theres an assbrush.  Whats it for?  Its for scrubbing the crud off your shitty ass.  Water, brush.  Scrub your asshole. 

Use your hand, it's natural.

It’s funny cause you think you’re kidding

(http://www.turkeytravelplanner.com/AssetsTurkey/TravelDetails/Bath-Toilet/FlatToilet.jpg)
This has been your daily culture shock


This is great,..  My old roommates thought I was crazy to want to put a garbage disposal in our shower.  To me, it seemed the perfect way to save time in the morning.  After that, all I would need is a waterproof DS.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: velojym on August 25, 2007, 04:01:15 PM
Kramer! How ya been?
 :D