The Definitive "Sex With Dead Animals" Thread!

(Q1)  Yes - and I had an orgasm!

3 (4.4%)

(Q1)  Yes - tried it, didn't like it / didn't finish

1 (1.5%)

(Q1)  No - but now that you mention it...

2 (2.9%)

(Q1)  No - never!  But I don't care if others do

6 (8.8%)

(Q1)  No - never!  And people who do should be ostracized

4 (5.9%)

(Q1)  No - never!  And people who do should be in jail

2 (2.9%)

(Q2)  Your penis - full insertion

4 (5.9%)

(Q2)  Your penis / testicles - external contact only

0 (0%)

(Q2)  Your vagina - full insertion

1 (1.5%)

(Q2)  Your vagina - external contact only

0 (0%)

(Q2)  Your anus - full insertion

2 (2.9%)

(Q2)  Your anus - external contact only

1 (1.5%)

(Q2)  Your artificial cavity - full insertion

0 (0%)

(Q2)  Your artificial cavity - external contact only

0 (0%)

(Q3)  Human

1 (1.5%)

(Q3)  Pig

3 (4.4%)

(Q3)  Cow / Bovine

4 (5.9%)

(Q3)  Lamb / Sheep / Goat

1 (1.5%)

(Q3)  Chicken / Other Bird

0 (0%)

(Q3)  Fish

1 (1.5%)

(Q3)  Other commonly eaten animal

2 (2.9%)

(Q3)  An exotic animal

2 (2.9%)

(Q4)  Whole, recently deceased

1 (1.5%)

(Q4)  Whole, been dead 1+ days

0 (0%)

(Q4)  Cut into pieces

1 (1.5%)

(Q4)  Isolated organs

1 (1.5%)

(Q4)  Supermarket grade - whole

1 (1.5%)

(Q4)  Supermarket grade - cut into large pieces

2 (2.9%)

(Q4)  Supermarket grade - steak

4 (5.9%)

(Q4)  Supermarket grade - sausage

2 (2.9%)

(Q4)  Supermarket grade - ground / hamburger

0 (0%)

(Q4)  Vomited out by another animal

1 (1.5%)

(Q4)  Liquefied in a blender

1 (1.5%)

(Q5)  It was raw

5 (7.4%)

(Q5)  No comdom / etc

3 (4.4%)

(Q5)  Didn't shower afterwards

2 (2.9%)

(Q5)  Cooked and ate it afterwards

3 (4.4%)

(Q5)  Ate it raw

1 (1.5%)

Total Members Voted: 7

[Alex Libman]

Wow, someone voted "(Q4) Vomited out by another animal" - I sure wanna hear that story!  

And someone voted "... and people who do should be in jail" - WTF?!   

[dry_ice]

Wow, someone voted "(Q4) Vomited out by another animal" - I sure wanna hear that story!  

And someone voted "... and people who do should be in jail" - WTF?!   

Don't you think people are fucking with you on their answers?  Jessus man, I would hope there's not that many sick fucks on the BBS.

What about you Ed Gein Jeffery Dahmer Libman, What do you like to fuck? What about a soupy pail full of rotting, maggot infested rats? Kinky, eh?

[rabidfurby]

Don't you think people are fucking with you on their answers?

Never! I stand by my answer that I inserted my anus into a liquefied walrus, and it should be illegal.

[Alex Libman]

[Russell Griswold]

Don't you think people are fucking with you on their answers?

Never! I stand by my answer that I inserted my anus into a liquefied walrus, and it should be illegal.

Was the walrus in the liquid during this event or did you have to submerge it? Also, what kind of a liquid was it?

[Alex Libman]

The poll made the assumption that the user understands the nature of a penis vs that of a vagina / anus in using the word "insertion".  Trying to insert a vagina / anus INTO a penis, and not the other way around, is self-defeating.  Then again, so is voting for McBama... 

[YixilTesiphon]

The poll made the assumption that the user understands the nature of a penis vs that of a vagina / anus in using the word "insertion".  Trying to insert a vagina / anus INTO a penis, and not the other way around, is self-defeating.  Then again, so is voting

FTFY...

[Alex Libman]

You could argue that voting is self-defeating (if wasting 10 minutes of your time is defeat) MOST of the time, but it clearly isn't ALL of the time.  Let's say a small town in New Hampshire votes on greater autonomy or even secession.  If the vote passes, it just might shame the higher governments into some concessions for the local demands (i.e. greater autonomy).  In this situation, would you rather fuck a warm juicy steak, or climb into an elephant corpse and jerk off inside its rib cage surrounded by its rotting flesh?

[Kevin Freeheart]

I am not amazed that a sex with dead animals thread turned to voting discussion.

[Alex Libman]

My previous metaphor (Obama being a thick juicy steak with a vagina carved into it, McCain being a rotting elephant) was an exercise in random tangential humor, because I didn't want to finish on a boring "sometimes voting makes sense" point and derail this thread.

And this whole thread is a political issue, first and foremost, which includes a psychological aspect because I'm sure thousands of people have been locked up in nut-houses for this inherently-victimless behavior.  The more people admit fucking raw meat, the more damage is done to the prohibitionists of this or related practices.

An old entry from some guy's science blog -- In case you've been wondering --

It has been officially determined that you are not allowed to have sex with animals, even if they are dead.  I'm now getting a weird vibe off of these natural lamb condoms…  are they illegal in Wisconsin now?  I also think this device has acquired a new level of perversion.

I think a follow-up to the dead-deer-fucker story was covered on FTL more recently.  I got the idea for this poll from a Family Guy rerun showing Meg about to get friendly with a pack of Hot Dogs (very end of this this video clip, works in U.S. only), drawing a parallel between the two.

Even in this unpopular poll on this free-minded forum, three people already voted for ostracism and two for government intervention (i.e. jail).  Perhaps those people can tell me where they draw the line between lamb condoms, ivory dildos, hot dogs, supermarket meats, and/or roadkill.

[hellbilly]

I'm now reminded of the "Deer Fucker" story on the show a while back..

[Alex Libman]

(bump)

Even in this unpopular poll on this free-minded forum, [four] people already voted for ostracism and two for government intervention (i.e. jail).  Perhaps those people can tell me where they draw the line between lamb condoms, ivory dildos, hot dogs, supermarket meats, and/or roadkill.

[Kevin Freeheart]

Even in this unpopular poll on this free-minded forum, [four] people already voted for ostracism and two for government intervention (i.e. jail).

I'm not sure I'd hold ostracism against people. The whole "dead" aspect gives me the willies and if someone I knew were engaging in sex with dead animals (defined by me as sexual activity with a carcass for the purpose of sexual pleasure) I'd be a bit reluctant to spend time with them. Perhaps not full social pariah to the "shoot for simple tresspass" level of "no services rendered" I'd offer someone who harmed my wife intentionally, but "We should go out and have beers" would probably be off the table.

I'm a bit too logical to assume "incidental" use of dead animals for sexual purposes (such as lamb condoms) would freak me out, but then, I'm not sure why my friend would feel the need to divulge the kind of condoms he uses unless there's the unintentional implication of "I'm allergic to latex". Then again, there are non-animal non-latex condoms, so there's no excuse for telling me that either.

Perhaps those people can tell me where they draw the line between lamb condoms, ivory dildos, hot dogs, supermarket meats, and/or roadkill.

A lot of people are irrational. Many people who eat meat are mortified of the idea of a slaughterhouse tour. I know that beer is sugar water infused hop tea with yeast farts and shits, and I love beer. My co-worker is mortified by the process of fermentation once she recognized what it really is. The hot dogs kind of give me the creeps, not because they're dead animals but because they're low-quality dead animals. High quality sausages are perhaps a different story. Not sure what the "supermarket meats" entails, I think it's too vague to really give a solid opinion on. The roadkill thing, again, for being and (i'm assuming) unprocessed puts it in that "low-quality" meats section.