The Free Talk Live BBS
Free Talk Live => The Polling Pit => Topic started by: FTL_Ian on February 01, 2007, 02:26:19 PM
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Well, what's your preference?
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Dude, you need to get out of the house more often.
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You'll just have to forgive Evil Muppet for not understanding the Earth-shattering importance of a question like this Ian.
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I understand the earth shattering importance. Everywhere is fine, so long as it isn't in my closet. i am sick of people masterbating in my closet.
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My preferred ejaculation receptacle has absolutely nothing to do with masturbation.
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I understand the earth shattering importance. Everywhere is fine, so long as it isn't in my closet. i am sick of people masterbating in my closet.
So I guess I won't be visiting your place anytime soon, I mean if a man can't masturbate in a person's closet where is the trust??
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either tissue in trash, tissue flushed, into someone else's mouth, on someone's face, or just keep it in my boxers if I am alone and had 10+ drinks and am about to go to bed (i.e. pass out) anyway
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I heard Ian say he uses a cup before...weird....
I won't be accepting any drinks at his house.
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I vote this poll for the best poll ever. "Hands" down.
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(http://muppet.wikia.com/images/0/02/Sam02.jpg)
wierdos!
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Dish towel.
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The other party's face
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I have an old shirt that I keep in my room that I call a 'cumrag'. When I'm finished doing my business I wipe it up with the cumrag and then toss it back into the corner where it stays until I need it's services again.
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I have an old shirt that I keep in my room that I call a 'cumrag'. When I'm finished doing my business I wipe it up with the cumrag and then toss it back into the corner where it stays until I need it's services again.
so you dont wash it? who would have guessed?
I use whatever is most convenient and throw it in with the other dirty clothes
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You use a recepticle? o_O
-- Bridget is weird today...
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I'm waiting for somone to say that they have a collection stored in a jar
(http://rox.com/frames1/027/240/jarofsemen.jpg)
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Well, you know, for the right lady.
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Why has nobody started their own website to sell flash-frozen vials of their semen? For both medical AND recreational use.
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nobody wants your manaise
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Mines already been donated... Usually it goes in a tissue, toilet, shower, bedsheet, old shirt, new shirt, boxers, pants... or just about anywhere else I feel like putting it. I just found a stain on my futon two days ago... it isn't even mine. Damn my friends.
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nobody wants your manaise
If I kept AIM logs, you'd shit your pants.
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I just found a stain on my futon two days ago... it isn't even mine. Damn my friends.
Send them over here. I have booze. And porn.
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nobody wants your manaise
If I kept AIM logs, you'd shit your pants.
innocent and unaware teen boys and girls on the internet dont count
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10912603/
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Sorry, you aren't their type and I'm certainly not going to tell you what they go for... I'm going to keep them all for myself. :P
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nobody wants your manaise
If I kept AIM logs, you'd shit your pants.
innocent and unaware teen boys and girls on the internet dont count
I saw custom photographic evidence that they were defiently not underage. :lol:
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Sorry, you aren't their type
I'm everyone's type, foo.
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nobody wants your manaise
If I kept AIM logs, you'd shit your pants.
innocent and unaware teen boys and girls on the internet dont count
I saw custom photographic evidence that they were defiently not underage. :lol:
yes, I'm sure you have joeboner :roll:
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I'm not lying. I tell the truth on here.
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I need a waterproof screen for some shower porn.
:P
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Ian, did someone make fun of you again for jizzing into a cup?
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Well it is more convient for drinking afterwards that way... I won't say I haven't used a cup on occasion.
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Eww.
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I'd like to hear Gene's thoughts on this subject. Preferably on-air.
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I didn't say I drank it... but man I used be flexible.
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Ian, did someone make fun of you again for jizzing into a cup?
Yes, Soundwave did. Apparently it's "disturbing". I would be disturbed if it was allowed to dry and crust, then put back into a cabinet. That however, is not what I do. The cup is rinsed and scrubbed clean. I don't see what is disturbing about that.
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TMI.
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Ian, did someone make fun of you again for jizzing into a cup?
Yes, Soundwave did. Apparently it's "disturbing". I would be disturbed if it was allowed to dry and crust, then put back into a cabinet. That however, is not what I do. The cup is rinsed and scrubbed clean. I don't see what is disturbing about that.
It's just...disturbing. She probably doesn't want all her cups filled with your love mayo, even if it is clean. There's probably still remnants of your sperm long past.
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TMI.
Says the man with the jizz towel. :P
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It's just...disturbing. She probably doesn't want all her cups filled with your love mayo, even if it is clean. There's probably still remnants of your sperm long past.
Because those dish cleaning products don't do anything to sanitize and clean, like they claim. :roll:
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It's just...disturbing. She probably doesn't want all her cups filled with your love mayo, even if it is clean. There's probably still remnants of your sperm long past.
Because those dish cleaning products don't do anything to sanitize and clean, like they claim. :roll:
I'm not saying that you don't clean them thoroughly, but just the thought that you jerked off into the cup would make someone sick, especially if they were drinking out of it. I'm not Julia though, so I don't know how she feels about your cum.
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I'm not saying that you don't clean them thoroughly, but just the thought that you jerked off into the cup would make someone sick, especially if they were drinking out of it. I'm not Julia though, so I don't know how she feels about your cum.
Exactly. It's totally based on emotion, not logic.
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kinda like ass pennies
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it can be annoying dealing with people who base decisions on emotion and not logic
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TMI.
Says the man with the jizz towel. :P
Jizz towels are normal.
Jizz cups are just fucking weird.
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I'm not saying that you don't clean them thoroughly, but just the thought that you jerked off into the cup would make someone sick, especially if they were drinking out of it. I'm not Julia though, so I don't know how she feels about your cum.
Exactly. It's totally based on emotion, not logic.
I agree with your statement, Ian. That being said, if it was my boyfriend - I would probably ask that he use one specific cup and make sure that it's clean when not in use.
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It's just...disturbing. She probably doesn't want all her cups filled with your love mayo, even if it is clean. There's probably still remnants of your sperm long past.
Because those dish cleaning products don't do anything to sanitize and clean, like they claim. :roll:
That's what they make bleach for.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWTApIE9zw0
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I'm not saying that you don't clean them thoroughly, but just the thought that you jerked off into the cup would make someone sick, especially if they were drinking out of it. I'm not Julia though, so I don't know how she feels about your cum.
Exactly. It's totally based on emotion, not logic.
Still man, if I jerked off into a coffee cup, cleaned it out thoroughly with soap and water, and then said "Here, drink", wouldn't you be a little recalcitrant on drinking out of it? Even if you observed me cleaning it out and I let you clean it out yourself?
What if instead of ejaculating into the cup I took a shit in it? Would you still drink out of it? I'd throw it in the trash, personally. I don't care how good it was cleaned.
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Ian proably uses his jizz cup to offer people drinks in....an never tell them.
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Ian proably uses his jizz cup to offer people drinks in....an never tell them.
I'd do that if I were Ian. Simply for shits and giggles.
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What if instead of ejaculating into the cup I took a shit in it? Would you still drink out of it? I'd throw it in the trash, personally. I don't care how good it was cleaned.
And how many times have you washed your face with a washcloth that cleaned the shit out of your ass?
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What if instead of ejaculating into the cup I took a shit in it? Would you still drink out of it? I'd throw it in the trash, personally. I don't care how good it was cleaned.
And how many times have you washed your face with a washcloth that cleaned the shit out of your ass?
None...I don't use washcloths.
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Neanderthal.
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As an AMP perk Ian should put up his jizz cup in a AMPers only auction.
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Yeah. I've never used a washcloth to do anything but wash my face and dry my hands after I do dishes.
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You'd probably have to stick a washcloth way up your asshole to get the shit out...
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I completely understand the logic of using a cup instead of tissues for clean up purpose's, but to me this is like painting or bleach. When I paint (which is never, but you get the point) I have a special cup I use to dip the brush in. When I clean, I have special buckets to put the bleach in. I could wash the painters cup out every single time, and it would be clean, but I like the idea of keeping my kitchen dishes separate.
Ian can cum where ever he wishes, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to make fun of him for ejaculating in all the dishes in my cabinet. I think he should have a designated cup that he uses, but he thinks that is weird. Apparently it's not weird to blow his load in the bowl I eat my cereal out of.
I think Ian would feel the same way if I collected menstrual fluid in a bowl every month, and put it back in the cabinets.
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Apparently it's not weird to blow his load in the bowl I eat my cereal out of.
I can't breathe. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Does he get horny in the kitchen and just grab what is close, or does he have to make a trip to get a bowl?
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He makes a trip, if there isn't one handy.
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Just make sure he doesn't jizz in the smoking bowl.
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Where does he take it to do the deed?
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I completely understand the logic of using a cup instead of tissues for clean up purpose's, but to me this is like painting or bleach. When I paint (which is never, but you get the point) I have a special cup I use to dip the brush in. When I clean, I have special buckets to put the bleach in. I could wash the painters cup out every single time, and it would be clean, but I like the idea of keeping my kitchen dishes separate.
Except it's not paint or bleach, but a harmless protein based bodily fluid easily sloughed off with water, dish soap, and a scrubbing pad. :wink:
Ian can cum where ever he wishes, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to make fun of him for ejaculating in all the dishes in my cabinet.
Don't tempt me to conquest them all! :P
Apparently it's not weird to blow his load in the bowl I eat my cereal out of.
Not if it's clean. Blowing a load, then immediately placing cereal in it - that would be weird.
I think Ian would feel the same way if I collected menstrual fluid in a bowl every month, and put it back in the cabinets.
Without washing? Gross!
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Where does he take it to do the deed?
I'm not around when it happens.
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Where does he take it to do the deed?
I'm not around when it happens.
ofcourse not, if you were, you would be required to help
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I'm not required to do anything.
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i'm sorry
you would be expected to help and it would be rude not to
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Where does he take it to do the deed?
I'm not around when it happens.
I was gunna say, it would be weird if you saw him walking around with a jizz cup.
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Oh heard the dishes clinking and going "oh no, not again".
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Sandpaper.
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Cheese grater.
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Shower. Cleanup is so easy.
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This is a good thread. I rarely laugh at 5 am, nice job you dirty dick beating freak.
Kidding. I'm glad to see Ian throw his weight around the boards a little, you've been a little absent lately, moving will do that I guess.
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So, heres mine. If it doesnt hit the ceiling, or go out of bounds some other ejaculatory manner, I end up with sloppy hands and make the shuffle-trek to the bathroom with ankles bound in dropped jeans. (Hint, cold water is best for washing jack off your hands, hot melts it and requires lots more scrubbing).
Since I always have an empty beercan close by, the immediate remnants can be dropped into the hole to save me from getting it caught in my watch band. Beer can tops are an excellent jizz scraper. I am ambidextrous, mouses are right handed.
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Cum and saliva are in the category of bodily fluids that people will happily put in their mouth via "direct delivery" but which suddenly become icky when they are separated from the person. It may not be rational, but it's there and you can't expect people to erase their reactions to it. All of my female friends give blowjobs, but I doubt you could get a single one to drink it from a glass. The psychology of disgust is a fascinating thing.
Julia, I suggest you buy him a special cup and label it "Jizz Cup" in big letters. Or perhaps something with more assonance, like "Cum Bucket" or "Load Holder." If they're your dishes, you have the right to determine how they are used. Failing that, I suppose you could start catching cockroaches or spiders in glasses Ian uses-- but clean them thoroughly before he drinks from them, of course. :)
It's not a big thing to ask...
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OK, so this was all just a ploy by Ian to try and validate a bizarre habit......
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Load holder.
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Cum Dumpster.
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Face noodles
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Icing
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Semencakes.
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Boy butter
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Love mayo.
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A towel has always been just fine for me.
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I suggest you buy him a special cup and label it "Jizz Cup" in big letters.
"Ian's Favorite Plastic Pretend Pussy"
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Where's the option for "5 gallon bucket"?
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Where's the option for "5 gallon bucket"?
Because it's illegal.
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Only if you are holding an alligator, a midget is holding the bucket, and it happens to be sunday.
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Only if you are holding an alligator, a midget is holding the bucket, and it happens to be sunday.
Well, I can't remember everything...
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Only if you are holding an alligator, a midget is holding the bucket, and it happens to be sunday.
But only in Kentucky....
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And the year has a 2, 6, or 1 in it.
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I can't keep up with all these changes to the law. What's next, only on a leap year?
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In my fraternity days, I used to get totally pissed that everyone would use my restroom to defecate, when they was a perfectly good public restroom two doors down.
In silent retaliation, I made it a point to blow at least one creamy load per day on the hand towel I kept by the sink. After three years, I got up to give my farewell address and told them about the towel. There was serious bumming going on that evening.
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Was it absolutely necessary to mention the creaminess factor of the loads blown?
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Well it isn't like he said cream factor 10+.
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It seems like it was necessary to indicate that it was creamy, as opposed to the watery tenth load of the day. Three years of watery load would not be nearly as disgusting as three years of creamy load.
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Was it absolutely necessary to mention the creaminess factor of the loads blown?
It's a VERY important element.
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Indeed.
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Mine is usually more clear than cream-stricken.
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That's what happens when you stick your balls in the microwave.
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Does that feel good?
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Sometimes.
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Can it cause permanent damage?
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Sometimes.
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Then I better not.
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Depends if you want retard babies.
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Ew. Then I'm definitely not.
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You could always smash them with a hammer before they're born. If you're an Anarchist, that is.
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Are you equating anarchy with violence?
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As it sholud.
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I don't see why it has to be that way.
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The Wiggers ruined it.
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The wiggers will be kept in line with the other citizens carrying firearms around.
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the wierdest recepticle i have ever used was an old textbook... from a school i hated
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the wierdest recepticle i have ever used was an old textbook... from a school i hated
Good. I'm glad.
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Time to bump this golden oldie.
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here's my favorite kind:
(http://www.analogus.com/img/csi08.jpg)
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Time to bump this golden oldie.
This...is a good one.
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The Mrs.'s mouth and tits.
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Wipe it on the cat. Permanent cumsock that never gets found on the floor the next morning next to the computer chair. You don't grab it again three days later for another wipe and it's all hard and nasty, its perfectly clean every time.
There goes my Carraba's. Thanks Brasky. Really.
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I dunno, I still think mine is the best. Close competition to Brasky's though
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Goddamn this thread is awesome.
Sock.
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I like to keep my man juice to myself so I usually squeeze my urethra against the corpus spongiosum. It's quick and
dirty clean. It also produces a more intense orgasm, but I still prefer sex.
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Off the billboard, over the neighbor's fence, through a tire swing, off the trampoline, nothing but net.
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I like to keep my man juice to myself so I usually squeeze my urethra against the corpus spongiosum. It's quick and dirty clean. It also produces a more intense orgasm, but I still prefer sex.
Sounds like retrograde ejaculation, which I've heard isn't much fun. I might be a little bit confused though. In fact, I'm hoping that I'm a little bit confused.
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I like to keep my man juice to myself so I usually squeeze my urethra against the corpus spongiosum. It's quick and dirty clean. It also produces a more intense orgasm, but I still prefer sex.
Sounds like retrograde ejaculation, which I've heard isn't much fun. I might be a little bit confused though. In fact, I'm hoping that I'm a little bit confused.
It's not retrograde ejaculation, but it is somewhat similar. The method they use in Tantra yields a result more similar to retrograde ejaculation because it stops the from entering the urethra in the first place I believe. Anyway, I wouldn't really call it retrograde ejaculation because 1) it technically isn't (semen still starts out going the right direction) and 2) that term is generally associated with a medical condition which the sufferer has no control over.
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I like to keep my man juice to myself so I usually squeeze my urethra against the corpus spongiosum. It's quick and dirty clean. It also produces a more intense orgasm, but I still prefer sex.
Sounds like retrograde ejaculation, which I've heard isn't much fun. I might be a little bit confused though. In fact, I'm hoping that I'm a little bit confused.
It's not retrograde ejaculation, but it is somewhat similar. The method they use in Tantra yields a result more similar to retrograde ejaculation because it stops the from entering the urethra in the first place I believe. Anyway, I wouldn't really call it retrograde ejaculation because 1) it technically isn't (semen still starts out going the right direction) and 2) that term is generally associated with a medical condition which the sufferer has no control over.
I just remember hearing a lot of calls on Loveline from guys who would do something to hold it in, and then eventually it just happened automatically, and now something is wrong. Things to that effect. It just kind of scared me. :shock:
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I like to keep my man juice to myself so I usually squeeze my urethra against the corpus spongiosum. It's quick and dirty clean. It also produces a more intense orgasm, but I still prefer sex.
Sounds like retrograde ejaculation, which I've heard isn't much fun. I might be a little bit confused though. In fact, I'm hoping that I'm a little bit confused.
It's not retrograde ejaculation, but it is somewhat similar. The method they use in Tantra yields a result more similar to retrograde ejaculation because it stops the from entering the urethra in the first place I believe. Anyway, I wouldn't really call it retrograde ejaculation because 1) it technically isn't (semen still starts out going the right direction) and 2) that term is generally associated with a medical condition which the sufferer has no control over.
I just remember hearing a lot of calls on Loveline from guys who would do something to hold it in, and then eventually it just happened automatically, and now something is wrong. Things to that effect. It just kind of scared me. :shock:
Haha, I can't say I've ever had that problem. :lol:
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Holding in that kind of pressure can't be good for the valves.
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Men are meant to be semen makers and shooters. Let your semen fly!
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Holding in that kind of pressure can't be good for the valves.
THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS
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Plastic grocery bag. Recycle.
The million dollar spot thing always ends in disappointment for me.
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Where is the "yo mama" option?
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Yo momma got the "yo momma option" last night!
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Your Mom's face.
Baa-duump, ching!
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This thread is full of disturbing win.
I was in Iraq at the time, so I missed out the first round.
Some people are too open when it comes (snicker) to some things.
That being said, I have a designated towel. :|
What about chicks that ejaculate? What do they use?
Not as common, but while we are falling down the rabbit hole of sex....
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I picked other. Usually I wear my boxers when I wax the carrot so I shoot my gizz in that. Then I wash the boxers. When I do something special with it I put lube in a latex glove and wrap a towel around that and start pumping and when I am about to finish I pull my dick out as shoot my load on the face of some chick in the sears catalog.
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when I am about to finish I pull my dick out as shoot my load on the face of some chick in the sears catalog.
And then mail it to your local politician and/or bureaucrat.
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The rubber glove works well, but condoms are better. You can get them free at some clinics and community functions. Free, no mess, lubricated.....good deal.
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The rubber glove works well, but condoms are better. You can get them free at some clinics and community functions. Free, no mess, lubricated.....good deal.
Is it sad that your profile picture is with (presumably) your daughter and you pick up free condoms to masturbate with?
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Yes, it is sad. Having children leads to mastubation for a variety of reasons.
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The rubber glove works well, but condoms are better. You can get them free at some clinics and community functions. Free, no mess, lubricated.....good deal.
Is it sad that your profile picture is with (presumably) your daughter and you pick up free condoms to masturbate with?
I'm not entirely sure of what sort of spirit the question has been presented here... ?
KDus is correct. Having yunguns 'round the trailer forces maw and paw to grab quickies when they ain't a'lookin'. When that don't work, paw goes out "work" in his "tool shed".
(I'm still grumbling over the Toad ride too KDus.)
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Before there were kids, I got lucky at Disneyland......bathroom at the Tiki Hut. Now Mr. Toad's ride is about the only bump and grind that goes on.
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:P
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Ian can cum where ever he wishes, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to make fun of him for ejaculating in all the dishes in my cabinet. I think he should have a designated cup that he uses, but he thinks that is weird. Apparently it's not weird to blow his load in the bowl I eat my cereal out of.
bamp
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As far as I'm concerned, Golden Grahams is the best cereal going.
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Well, that was a good read for the third time.
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If Ian has a threesome will it be called two girls one cup????????? :twisted: