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Poll

Which of those corpses would you molest first?  (Photoshops pending...)

Dead Ian
- 1 (3.8%)
Dead Mark
- 3 (11.5%)
Dead Julia
- 14 (53.8%)
Dead Nick
- 1 (3.8%)
Dead Wayne
- 1 (3.8%)
Dead Torgo
- 1 (3.8%)
Dead Melissa
- 2 (7.7%)
Dead Johnson
- 2 (7.7%)
Dead Jason
- 1 (3.8%)

Total Members Voted: 12


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Author Topic: If you were a necrophile...  (Read 11425 times)

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Alex Libman

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If you were a necrophile...
« on: April 18, 2008, 12:44:01 PM »

The next unpopular libertarian cause I'll take on...  how about Necrophilia!  It's not as relevant as standing up to the mass hysteria over pedophilia that's threatening to end family sovereignty and free Internet as we know it, but, hey, I can't stand on one topic for too long.

And this time I'll make it perfectly clear - you have their consent.  In writing.  Prior to death.  I'm sure for enough money that could be arranged...  After all, what do they care, they're dead!
« Last Edit: April 18, 2008, 12:45:39 PM by Alex Libman »
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bad_cab

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Re: If you were a necrophile...
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2008, 07:12:16 PM »

how long they been dead, are they still warm or what?
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Alex Libman

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Re: If you were a necrophile...
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2008, 07:54:50 PM »

Nowadays it only takes doctors 20 minutes to establish and verify brain-death, but they won't let you do it right at the hospital, and getting the body onto a hearse takes some time, and then there's paperwork...  So let's say you'll have possession of the body 90 minutes after death, after which it'll be your property - when you "do it", how many times, how you preserve the body, etc, is all up to you.
« Last Edit: April 18, 2008, 07:59:56 PM by Alex Libman »
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dalebert

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Re: If you were a necrophile...
« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2008, 10:11:49 PM »

I wonder if there's an effective way to warm it up.

Alex Libman

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Re: If you were a necrophile...
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2008, 11:09:15 PM »

A huge microwave.

What do you think Dr. Frankenstein was trying to do?
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jimmed

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Re: If you were a necrophile...
« Reply #5 on: April 18, 2008, 11:10:36 PM »

I wonder if there's an effective way to warm it up.


Massage.
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Lindsey

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Re: If you were a necrophile...
« Reply #6 on: April 18, 2008, 11:27:00 PM »

What the fuck, man? 
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Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
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Ecolitan

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Re: If you were a necrophile...
« Reply #7 on: April 18, 2008, 11:37:18 PM »

What the fuck, man? 


Yeah!!!  Why'd you leave Lindsey off the list?
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Alex Libman

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Re: If you were a necrophile...
« Reply #8 on: April 18, 2008, 11:42:33 PM »

As a thought experiment, I'm trying to do what Enron did - sell values that didn't exist before I thought of them...  And for a very worthy cause, mind you, to raise money for the AMP program.  The hosts are, after all, the primary assets of the show.  Thousands, perhaps someday millions of people listen to them every day.  Don't you think some of those people might want to have sex with one of the hosts, and in a way that won't require any of their time or effort except signing a contract?


Yeah!!!  Why'd you leave Lindsey off the list?

As much as we all love her, Lindsey is not an asset associated with the FTL brand.  Very few radio listeners know who she is.
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Lindsey

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Re: If you were a necrophile...
« Reply #9 on: April 18, 2008, 11:50:52 PM »

What the fuck, man? 


Yeah!!!  Why'd you leave Lindsey off the list?

Fucking me is so much better when I'm alive, trust me. 
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Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
         -George W. Bush

Alex Libman

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Re: If you were a necrophile...
« Reply #10 on: April 19, 2008, 12:21:47 AM »

Yes, but considering the supply and demand, no offense but I've decided that Torgo's corpse is more valuable...  I mean, how many radio super-stars do you know who are auctioning off rights to their corpse after they die?  Or the consent rights to photoshop their childhood photos onto simulated 3D bodies?  (And VR technology is right around the corner!)

Besides, FTL hosts don't need my consultancy to know they can make money selling sexual services now.  What I'm proposing are passive income streams that would require no time or effort from them in the present.
« Last Edit: April 19, 2008, 12:26:18 AM by Alex Libman »
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hellbilly

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Re: If you were a necrophile...
« Reply #11 on: April 19, 2008, 12:32:16 AM »


Besides, FTL hosts don't need my consultancy to know they can make money selling sexual services now.  What I'm proposing are passive income streams that would require no time or effort from them in the present.


bet that's not on eBay!
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bad_cab

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Re: If you were a necrophile...
« Reply #12 on: April 19, 2008, 01:17:38 AM »

What the fuck, man? 


Yeah!!!  Why'd you leave Lindsey off the list?

Fucking me is so much better when I'm alive, trust me. 

pictures?
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Andy

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Re: If you were a necrophile...
« Reply #13 on: April 19, 2008, 03:27:13 AM »

And this time I'll make it perfectly clear - you have their consent.  In writing.  Prior to death.  I'm sure for enough money that could be arranged...  After all, what do they care, they're dead!

I honestly think Ian would agree.

Alex Libman

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Re: If you were a necrophile...
« Reply #14 on: April 19, 2008, 03:59:50 AM »

I think the smart choice here is Torgo.  I mean he'll probably be the soonest and youngest to go, and liposuction is easy when the patient is already dead.  And you can make some good soap:lol:

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