how important is a persons looks in starting a relationship

Main deciding factor (I am male)

Main deciding factor (I am female)

It helps but I need to see some personality first (I am male)

It helps but I need to see some personality first (I am female)

It is not at all important (I am male)

It is not at all important (I am female)

I prefer ugly or less attractive people (I am male)

I prefer ugly or less attractive people (I am female)

[AbsurdParadox]

I voted main deciding factor, but I don't think thats really that accurate. I would place them close to equal, but I wouldn't start a relationship with a smart ugly girl, but, I probably would with a dumb hottie, if she really was that hot. *shrug* It wouldn't last of course, but thats not what the poll was about.

On the flip side, I'm definitely big about someone much better looking in your own eyes over time, the more you like them. Seems like most people agree this is true for them too

[annyab]

I think first impression of looks are important, but I like to talk about political issues, so if I must spend my time explaining a lot of concepts to someone they are no longer qualified. Maybe I am really picky, but someone I date must also be liberty minded.

[Bill Brasky]

I voted for hot.  Then if she wants to stay hot, lets hear some thoughts.  Hot can turn to "not hot" in a snap. 

[annyab]

Maybe I am really picky, but someone I date must also be liberty minded.

I'd say so, or maybe it's just from the "libertarian guy" perspective. There's a disproportion in ratios here, so girls can afford to be picky about this, guys don't really have that luxury.

I don't think I could date a socialist or someone with strong different views but I'm happy with the apolitical or "libertarian leaning."

true. But, hey, I'll roll with it!!

[freeAgent]

From my perspective, looks can get you in the door and into the realm of a possibility.  Beyond that, you've got to have a compatible personality (and probably be generally intelligent).  Unattractiveness can cut you out of the race at the beginning though, as unfortunate and shallow as that is.

I usually don't worry about political beliefs since I realize that the reason people hold them is that they believe they're the best for everyone.  With good discussion, a person's ideas about what specific system of government is best can easily change without his or her desire for "the best" system to be altered in any way.

[Hologene Relapse]

If a person can be pretty decent looking (not Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie). You know, clean hair, brushed teeth, and has showered that day at least. Personality covers many areas because looks are for looking, but not discussing (unless s/he is funny looking...).

[Free_Marketeer]

If a person can be pretty decent looking (not Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie). You know, clean hair, brushed teeth, and has showered that day at least. Personality covers many areas because looks are for looking, but not discussing (unless s/he is funny looking...).

Yeah, cleanliness goes a long way.  And I love funny! 

None of my serious relationships have been with standard hotties - or even men taller than I am, though that's my preference - but they all have been independently, creatively intelligent thinkers.

[dalebert]

The question and answers were worded kind of odd for my tastes but that's the nature of multiple selection polls. They can never have the perfect answer for everyone. I think I'd be inclined to say the 2nd answer, but I think it's rare to look for personality first only because it's not the first thing you see in a person. You meet someone and they catch your eye or maybe you say "He's nice-looking. I wonder what his personality is like. Is he dating material?" Then sometimes you talk to them and you find yourself wanting to learn more about them or sometimes you immediately remove them from the running because they say something like "You're from Georgia? Jimmy Carter was my favorite president!" 

So looks are definitely not the most important, but they have to be good-looking enough. Looks are still like the first prerequisite just because it's the first thing you learn about someone when you meet them, well... unless you meet them online or something, but screw that!

[Lindsey]

Maybe I am really picky, but someone I date must also be liberty minded.

I'd say so, or maybe it's just from the "libertarian guy" perspective. There's a disproportion in ratios here, so girls can afford to be picky about this, guys don't really have that luxury.

I don't think I could date a socialist or someone with strong different views but I'm happy with the apolitical or "libertarian leaning."

I agree with this.  I don't put it on the top of my priority list, because I figure I'm asking too much.  But it would be nice. 

[wtfk]

It's usually the first thing you notice.  It's more influential than most people will admit.  Still, personality can (obviously) be a deal-breaker, so looks aren't everything (or even most), just first.

[Puke]

Looks are a natural mechanism that helps determine a genetically superior mate.
So that comes into play.
But once a woman looks good to me I need some personality or I just want to punch her in the face.

Unfortunately, it seems that most woman that are obsessed with looks are usually only concerned with looks.
Suicide is the answer.

[bad_cab]

I think confidence is more important than looks, as far as getting your foot in the door. True, I usually date guys that are more attractive than me. But, that's just because they are generally the ones with enough confidence to ask girls out. But, the relationships I've been in that had substance were with guys I asked out. And, my "type" is generally slightly less physically attractive than me (IMO.) (And, quite a bit smarter than me.) I didn't vote for option 8; since, I don't prefer them because they are less attractive.  (It just usually works out that way.) But, yeah: physically unattractive guys can definately become attractive to me, if I'm attracted to other attributes. My most extreme example is my intense crush on Mel Torme. If he wasn't dead, I'd be all over that. His talent makes him attractive; it overshadows everything else. Listening to "Lullaby of Birdland" makes me have to sit down and fan myself.


Yeah, I woulda.

well if you required guy be as attractive as you there would be a very limited pool to pick from.

[Lindsey]

Hey, what about chicks, Val?  I'll sing you a song.   

[EclecticBuddha]

Maybe I am really picky, but someone I date must also be liberty minded.

I'd say so, or maybe it's just from the "libertarian guy" perspective. There's a disproportion in ratios here, so girls can afford to be picky about this, guys don't really have that luxury.

I don't think I could date a socialist or someone with strong different views but I'm happy with the apolitical or "libertarian leaning."

I agree with this.  I don't put it on the top of my priority list, because I figure I'm asking too much.  But it would be nice. 

See, I've found that most people are ignorant on politics so it makes it real easy.  If I can get someone who is a blank or lightly marked slate, I'm pleased as punch.  Then try to whip a little message in and test the waters as you go.  If its an issue then i'll just skirt around it and just try to avoid passive aggressive moves.  It's easy for me to compromise up to a pretty good point.  If the other person is pushy or loud about it then its not going to work.  I'll try the drug war argument and if they still want to ban drugs then its lost.  I don't even do any drugs but its a good barometer for me. 

[annyab]

I know there are a lot of people that are ignorant about the world around them, but I am just not attracted to those people.