I saw this add on Craigslist (Comox Valley) and thought it was worth posting for a laugh. I can relate to his comment. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I’ve been hunting for a motorcycle here on craigslist for a while now, and I thought I’d share the dumbest things I see in motorcycle ads, and how I interpret them as a buyer.
1. “Please no low ball offers.”
I have no idea what this motorcycle is worth.
2. “I’m think about selling / letting go...”
I have no intention of letting this motorcycle go except for a ridiculous price.
3. “With extras.”
I’ll throw in all the OEM parts I removed to chrome up my last fleeting interest.
4. “Call me as this won't last very long at this price.”
This ad will still be here in 3-4 weeks.
5. Any ad with both “Harley” and “Low miles”.
I think I’ve got this mid-life crisis just about under control.
6. “Not a beginner bike.”
“I scared myself baaaaaad!”
7. “Wife wants it gone.” This has two possible translations:
Has anyone seen my testicles? I think they’re in my wife’s purse next to my opinion.
or
This was an absolutely ridiculous purchase and I have to blame it on someone.
8. “You will never see a ________ in this shape.”
You can barely see where it exploded, or where my kid tried to wash it with rocks.
9. “Locally driven.”
I wanted to go on a road trip, but there wasn’t enough room in the saddle bags for my cosmetics kit.
10. “Lady ridden.”
I got sucked into buying this for a guy I was living with at the time.
11. No picture with the ad - see number 8.
12. “Photos on request.”
I want to waste your time, and mine.
13. “Possession Date:”
I’ve got big plans for this bike that I expect you to wait for.
14. “Great little commuter. Great starter bike.”
I out-grew this bike in two months, so will you.
15. “the price is $_____ firm dont even call unless cash in hand cause it wont be leaving the shop”
Check back in a month when I’ve substantially lowered the price on a bike I was asking waaaay too much for.
16. “this bike was built for show”
Most uncomfortable thing on 2 wheels ever built.
17. “Price reduction”
I was asking for way too much money, but now I’ll settle for just a little bit more than what the bike is actually worth.
18. “My loss is your gain”
I’ve priced this bike to recoup every single cent I spent on it, and I’m hoping I can find someone too lazy to check what it’s worth new.
19. “have no time for it and just cant justify keeping it”
What was I thinking when I bought this?”
20. “Selling my baby”
Prepare to over-pay.
21. “Few available”
Have fun trying to find parts.
22. “no test rides”
You didn’t think I’d let you try my bike before giving me $5600 for it did you?
23. “hate to see it go”
I’m lying, I can’t wait to unload this money pit on someone else.
24. “owner moving got to go”
I’m moving to the tiny town from foot loose. Not only is dancing illegal there, but so are dirt bikes.
25. “Last week available”
Two possible meanings:
I don’t think the bubble gum and crazy glue holding this thing together will last much longer than that.
or
I was pressured into buying this completely impractical bike, and I’m hoping you can be, too.
26. “This bike gets lots of comments.”
Comments like “Is it supposed to smoke like that?” “I think that guys motorcycle has a cat stuck in it.” “Looks like that guy was in an accident with out his helmet.”
27. “Will listen to offers.”
Desperate to unload this bike and trying hard not sound like it.
28. “The bike will be able to view after May 17”
That’s when I expect it out of the shop following a horrible accident.
29. Serious enquiries only please.
I fully expect my phone to be ringing off the hook the minute I publish this ad, so please, don’t waste my time.
For a successful ad:
Please take 10 minutes to see what your bike is worth new. Why would anyone come buy your 2007 V-Star 650 for $7500 when they can get a Brand New 950 for $1000 more?
Critical information that I, the buyer, need to see in your ad:
1. Year, Make, Model.
2. Engine Displacement
3. Known defects
4. Mileage
5. Photos
6. Price
Let me close with what is possibly the dumbest, most ridiculously optomistic ad I have ever seen on craigslist:
"1973 honda SL125 - $6500 (cv)
body and frame is in nice shape, but bike doesn't run. Im not sure what it needs, I just want it out of my shed. will consider trade for a newer quad that is in nice shape.
(picture was taken when I bought the bike in 1995.)"
Awesome, just awesome!