The Free Talk Live BBS
Free Talk Live => The Polling Pit => Topic started by: Bill Brasky on January 19, 2007, 06:21:38 AM
-
Okay, I'll start. I love going down on a woman. Before this gets off on the wrong foot, there are obviously certain conditions that apply. Use your imagination, I shouldnt need to elaborate.
So, when everything is "all systems go", I'm there with bells on. Its erotic, its fun, it fucking gets me off.
Some ladies dislike it. Some could care less. Some would sit there all day and get off a dozen times. Nobody needs to bare their soul, a simple "I like it" will suffice, if you would prefer to not elaborate, fine.
However, there are a few women around here who are refreshingly candid and I'm fairly sure after a page or three, there could be some interesting respondees. This is the purpose. To gain insight into the female mind and their reasons for likes and dislikes.
The reasons can be more important than the likes and dislikes. Techniques. Overkill. Toys?
So, what makes you tick?
---------------------------------
(Guys, a simple word of advice. You may learn something. If people start posting nasty pictures, its gonna be counterproductive... Plus, who doesnt want to hear a chicks opinion on getting her pussy licked? Thats hawt)
-
I was in jail with this dude, who said he "ate out" a
midget :D little person while she was on her period. He was shitfaced and said he didnt find out till the next morning by discovering a red ring around his mouth. Jail stories are normally weird.
-
Bill, set the damn poll to where we can see the results, jackass!
-- Bridget
-
at first when I seen this thread, I thought Bill was talking about analingus :lol:
(http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a311/Johnnyp4evr/853b4bfc.jpg)
-
Let us see the results. And I will eat any pussy, any time.
-
It's a great thing, but the midget eating the chick on her period...gross. I don't let people touch me when I'm on my period. It isn't a pleasant time for anyone. Treating it like it's a lollipop is kind of weird. Toys are good sometimes, fingers are good.
-
It's a great thing, but the midget eating the chick on her period...gross. I don't let people touch me when I'm on my period. It isn't a pleasant time for anyone. Treating it like it's a lollipop is kind of weird. Toys are good sometimes, fingers are good.
It was a regular sized guy eating a midget girl on her period, not a midget eating a regular sized girl.
-
It's a great thing, but the midget eating the chick on her period...gross. I don't let people touch me when I'm on my period. It isn't a pleasant time for anyone. Treating it like it's a lollipop is kind of weird. Toys are good sometimes, fingers are good.
It was a regular sized guy eating a midget girl on her period, not a midget eating a regular sized girl.
he was kinda short though, his nickname in the quad was "shorty"
we also had joe dirt in there with us too, and I had just missed harry potter by a week or so
-
It's a great thing, but the midget eating the chick on her period...gross. I don't let people touch me when I'm on my period. It isn't a pleasant time for anyone. Treating it like it's a lollipop is kind of weird. Toys are good sometimes, fingers are good.
It was a regular sized guy eating a midget girl on her period, not a midget eating a regular sized girl.
I knew that...and I meant to type that. I don't know why it came out the other way. Fuck. I must just be tired or something.
-
It's a great thing, but the midget eating the chick on her period...gross. I don't let people touch me when I'm on my period. It isn't a pleasant time for anyone. Treating it like it's a lollipop is kind of weird. Toys are good sometimes, fingers are good.
It was a regular sized guy eating a midget girl on her period, not a midget eating a regular sized girl.
I knew that...and I meant to type that. I don't know why it came out the other way. Fuck. I must just be tired or something.
You're high.
-
It's a great thing, but the midget eating the chick on her period...gross. I don't let people touch me when I'm on my period. It isn't a pleasant time for anyone. Treating it like it's a lollipop is kind of weird. Toys are good sometimes, fingers are good.
It was a regular sized guy eating a midget girl on her period, not a midget eating a regular sized girl.
I knew that...and I meant to type that. I don't know why it came out the other way. Fuck. I must just be tired or something.
You're high.
I wish. Another thing I wish for is to have someone's face in between my legs. Hooray for my wish being pertinent to the topic!
-
It's a great thing, but the midget eating the chick on her period...gross. I don't let people touch me when I'm on my period. It isn't a pleasant time for anyone. Treating it like it's a lollipop is kind of weird. Toys are good sometimes, fingers are good.
It was a regular sized guy eating a midget girl on her period, not a midget eating a regular sized girl.
I knew that...and I meant to type that. I don't know why it came out the other way. Fuck. I must just be tired or something.
You're high.
I wish. Another thing I wish for is to have someone's face in between my legs. Hooray for my wish being pertinent to the topic!
I'm on it. 8)
-
I love being eaten too.
-
God dammit Brasky let us see the fucking results.
-
Lindsey, can you change the poll options or at least post the results? :)
-
Okay okay, jesus christ.
-
Lindsey, can you change the poll options or at least post the results? :)
Sorry. I presume Brasky changed it, because I can't see what you're seeing. All is well if it is remedied though.
-
So wait who said "Maybe"?
-
Some crazy fucker. This thread is making me kinda hot.
-
Some crazy fucker. This thread is making me kinda hot.
*Dances seductively in front of Lindsey for dollar bills*.
-
Some crazy fucker. This thread is making me kinda hot.
*Dances seductively in front of Lindsey for dollar bills*.
And that just killed it.
-
Some crazy fucker. This thread is making me kinda hot.
*Dances seductively in front of Lindsey for dollar bills*.
And that just killed it.
You wouldn't hop on dis locomotive? 8)
-
No.
-
But it's choo-chooing right in your direction, baby. 8)
-
Me has black belt in eating pussy.
Girls, PM me (http://bbs.freetalklive.com/index.php?action=pm;sa=send;u=2180) to request a sample.
-
But it's choo-chooing right in your direction, baby. 8)
It had better change tracks before it gets here. :P
-
But it's choo-chooing right in your direction, baby. 8)
It had better change tracks before it gets here. :P
It's a one way train, full of manliness and charm. 8)
-
Let us see the results. And I will eat any pussy, any time.
Let's hook him up with Rosie O'Donnell.
-
Let us see the results. And I will eat any pussy, any time.
Let's hook him up with Rosie O'Donnell.
Except that one.
-
Let us see the results. And I will eat any pussy, any time.
Let's hook him up with Rosie O'Donnell.
Except that one.
You can't rescind the offer. Nice try though. If you won't do Rosie, you can do Hilary Clinton.
-
Let us see the results. And I will eat any pussy, any time.
Let's hook him up with Rosie O'Donnell.
Except that one.
You can't rescind the offer. Nice try though. If you won't do Rosie, you can do Hilary Clinton.
Go forth, taors...
(http://www.usasurvival.org/images/hillary.jpg)
thrust forward into the belly of the beast.
-
Baker wins.
-
I guess if I had to choose between those two, I'd choose...
Rosie.
-
Baker wins.
(http://www.xsltblog.com/archives/24805BP~The-Simpsons-Mr-Burns-Excellent.jpg)
-
Can we stop talking and get to licking?
-
Ever tried auto-cunnilingus?
-
no thank you, ma'am.
-
Can we stop talking and get to licking?
Sure. *licks lips ferociously*
-
***BIG FAN OF CUNNILINGUS*** Pussy is tasty. 8)
-
I wonder if overeaters make better cunnilinguists. Orally fixated and all that.
-
Colonel Angus
Written by: Tina Fey
Melinda.....Amy Poehler
Daddy.....Chris Parnell
Miss Anabelle.....Rachel Dratch
Farm Boy.....Jeff Richards
Bedelia.....Maya Rudolph
Colonel Angus.....Christopher Walken
[ open on exterior, Civil War-era plantation home, as members of a Southern family sit on the porch and reflect. A banner above the eaves reads: "Welcome Home, Colonel Angus!" ]
Melinda: [ sitting on the steps ] When's he gonna get here, Mama?
Miss Anabelle: [ setting on her rocker ] Anytime now, child.. be patient.
Melinda: Is he very handsome?
Miss Anabelle: [ chuckles ] He's been away at war so long, I don't rightly remember.
Melinda: Mama! Look! There's a carriage on the horizon!
Miss Anabelle: Oh? [ looking about ] Well, where, dear child?
Melinda: There! [ points ] Traveling down the road! Darting in and out of the cotton!
Miss Anabelle: Oh.. oh! Well, that must be the Colonel! Colonel Angus!
Melinda: [ excited ] Could it really be, Mama? Could it really be Colonel Angus?
Miss Anabelle: ..I don't know, uh.. We haven't seen Colonel Angus around these parts for years..
[ Daddy steps onto the porch, from inside the plantation ]
Daddy: Are you ladies out here talking about Colonel Angus?
Melinda: Yes, Daddy! I can't wait to meet him!
Daddy: Oh, watch out, Melinda! Once a woman is introduced to Colonel Angus, she'll settle for nothing less.
Melinda: Daddy, they say all the womenfolk just love Colonel Angus!
Daddy: Hmm.. I don't know why people make such a big fuss over Colonel Angus!
Miss Anabelle: I myself never much cared for Colonel Angus! He rubs me the wrong way. I'm not sure why.. can't put my finger on it..
Daddy: Colonel Angus is an acquired taste! Bedelia!
[ Bedelia, the maid, comes running onto the porch ]
Bedelia: Yes, Sir?
Miss Anabelle: Break out some fresh linens, Bedilia! We're gonna have Colonel Angus here tonight!
Bedelia: Colonel Angus? I don't know nothin' about no Colonel Angus!
Daddy: Well, get ready, Bedelia. If I remember correctly, Colonel Angus can be very messy!
[ at last, Colonel Angus steps onto the porch ]
Daddy: As I live and breath! Colonel Angus!
Miss Anabelle: Oh, Colonel Angus! You old Carpetbagger!
Colonel Angus: Anabelle! I fear my visit.. is an inconvenience.
Miss Anabelle: [ laughing ] Nonsense, Colonel Angus! We're always happy to see your shiny face!
Daddy: Colonel Angus! What brings you to these parts?
Colonel Angus: I'm headed.. down South!
Daddy: Hmm. Of course!
Miss Anabelle: Uh.. how far south are you headed, Colonel Angus?
Colonel Angus: Ain't really sure. I prefer the Deep South.. I like the heat.. the humidity..
Daddy: Hmmm.. sir, I do not!
Colonel Angus: [ ] And who is this.. little rosebud?
Daddy: This is our daughter, Melinda.
Melinda: Colonel Angus. The pleasure is all mine. I've heard so much about you.
Colonel Angus: Well, my dear.. don't believe everything you hear.. about ol' Colonel Angus. Colonel Angus might be rough.. Colonel Angus might not smell like a bed of roses.. but, deep down.. Colonel Angus is very sweet.
Miss Anabelle: Well, we hope you'll spend the night with us.
Colonel Angus: Well, thank you, Miss Anabelle. And if I overstay my welcome.. just tap me on the head.
Melinda: I always dreamnt of the day.. Colonel Angus would rest his head at Shady Thicket. I always begged my Daddy: "Tell me stories about you and Colonel Angus!" But he never will.
Daddy: [ chuckling ] Well, that's because all of my experiences with Colonel Angus end in embarrassment!
[ they all share a hearty laugh ]
Daddy: Colonel Angus.. I hear rumors.
Colonel Angus: [ sighs ] The incident.. at Big Beaver..
Daddy: Yes?
Colonel Angus: It's true, I'm afraid.. ten men were lost.. and I suffered a great injury.. to my jaw.
Daddy: Is it true you've been stripped of your rank?
Colonel Angus: Yes! It is. There'll be no more "Colonel Angus", ladies. Call me by my given name.
Miss Anabelle: Oh, Anal..
Melinda: I so love the sound of "Colonel Angus".. but I guess I could give Anal Angus a try.
Colonel Angus: [ to a passing farm boy ] You there, Boy! ride into town and tell the Postmaster.. that if anyone is looking for Anal Angus.. to come knockin' at the rear entrance.. of Shady Thicket.
Farm Boy: Euuuggghhh..
Colonel Angus: If you'll excuse me.. I'd like to freshen up.
[ Colonel Angus turns, and enters the plantation home ]
Miss Anabelle: Of course! We'll call you when it's time to eat, Anal! Bedelia lays out quite a spread.
Melinda: Well, I think Colonel Angus is delightful!
Daddy & Miss Anabelle: Hmmm....
Miss Anabelle: You won't.. after forty-five minutes.
Daddy: No-o-o.. you can only take so much of Colonel Angus.
[ fade ]
-
I saw that one.
-
Walken is a trip.
-
I wonder if overeaters make better cunnilinguists. Orally fixated and all that.
I'd think so.
-
SNL sucks in recent years, but I think I might have laughed at that.
-
SNL sucks in recent years, but I think I might have laughed at that.
Yeah, it does. They lost their edge a little. But when they are funny, they are funny. I've probably watched it a dozen times in three or four years. Mostly I like the Weekend News updates, and turn it off.
Just like saying this board used to be cooler or funnier, it depends on the writer, not the whole thing.
Tina Fey is pretty damn funny, she's got an awesome wit. Head writer for the past few years, first time for a woman to be in charge of a bunch of wacky mental patients. I think she did good.
Get a history of SNL for bathroom reading, from the library, theres several if you'd like to drop a few dollops of pop culture onto your plate. Good stories in there.
-
I think Tina Fey is funny. It's not her, it's the actors that suck.
-
That new chick does a great Nancy Pelosi.
-
Since very few women are actually commenting here, I thought I'd turn it around a bit:
http://bbs.freetalklive.com/index.php?topic=11275.0
-
I think Lindsey is the only lady who has replied, so I'll go next; I've been meaning to add my two cents anyway.
Okay, I'll start. I love going down on a woman.
This attitude will ensure you eat more pussy. I have been with men who loved it, and men who didn't, but would do it anyway. The men who loved it did it often; those who didn't, did not simply because it was not enjoyable for either party. I have always felt more comfortable receiving oral sex from men who love it. From past experiences, and talking to ladies, I have concluded that having this attitude increases confidence, and ladies tend to be much more sexually adventurous in the long run, for those of you who like that.
I have also been on the giving side (not anytime recently) and can say I preferred eating pussy to sucking dick. Women tend to be bitchy though, and I couldn't imagine spending a considerable amount of time with one, so I like men.
Some ladies dislike it. Some could care less. Some would sit there all day and get off a dozen times. Nobody needs to bare their soul, a simple "I like it" will suffice, if you would prefer to not elaborate, fine.
Some ladies dislike it because of personal preference (perhaps they have had a bad experience?), and some because it can be awkward having someone's head between your legs. I imagine it would be a little different for ladies like that if it weren't for the sexual oppression in America that shapes silly societal standards. As a young person, it generally takes a while to get over that.
Personally, I like it, IF it's good. Some guys think just being down there is enough, and don't understand there are certain techniques to make one cum. If it's bad, it quickly gets boring. Men who give great oral sex can be hard to give up. There is a BIG difference between feeling good, and feeling good enough to achieve orgasm. This is where communication comes in to play. Some ladies are shy about communicating this sort of thing, but seriously, as a man, how are you supposed to know what feels good unless she tells you? If you are a lady, and you want good oral sex, for Pete's sake, talk to him.
The reasons can be more important than the likes and dislikes. Techniques. Overkill. Toys?
Techniques? I probably can't go into this without disturbing people with way TMI. It all boils down to communication, as mentioned earlier.
-
If you are a lady, and you want good oral sex, for Pete's sake, talk to him.
But don't call him Pete. Or Shirley. :P
-
One of the best reasons (besides actually loving it) is it sends a psychological signal to your partner that you are completely satisfied with them hygenically and comfortable in the situation as it unfolds around you, youre not in any hurry to whip the dick out and start using it on an object. Its a big erotic kiss.
It doesnt take a genius to observe the body language of a guy who is unwilling to go down-- but does it anyway. Thats probably a turnoff to women, so understanding this, it makes sense to display your enthusiasm. But in my case, its just showmanship, I'd be smiling even if she was blindfolded.
-
From my experience, being female and disliking being eaten out is a choice based on things outside of the pleasure derived from it. It's not a natural physical response, it's a psychological one. I've never heard any chick ever say, "I didn't like that because it just didn't feel good." It's not a real, natural reaction. There's a lot of self-conscious weirdness that goes on that influences what a lot of people are comfortable with, and it sucks. This happens particularly with women, but I've known a couple guys who had little sexual idiosyncrasies as well.
I was involved with a girl once who had this issue with having her stomach touched of all things, because she was self-conscious about it. It's a huge buzz kill for me to be told that something is off limits when I'm just trying to be intimate with my partner. Especially when you know it's just an illogical mindfuck on their part. It's not that they don't like it, they just have this idea that you're not going to like doing it (like Julia said: maybe they had a bad experience or someone made a comment in the past). To really be able to enjoy any sexual activity you have to relax, be comfortable with yourself and the body of someone else. That's the biggest hurdle to get over. Pushing boundaries is cool.
Anyway, right. I like it. I like to give it, I like to receive it, I like to watch other people giving/receiving it, the whole shebang. I'm down.
-
I'm down with Z... well, not literally. Or maybe it is literally. I'm getting lost, ah.. oh yes, PUSSY! Yeah, once I manage to get a chick nekkid, it's like the Garden of Eden or something. I think the best sexual relationships I've had have been with chicks who were OK with their own bodies enough to let me just enjoy the whole fucking thing. I think many women are uncomfortable even being naked with the lights on. I'm completely the opposite. As long as everything's OK and nothing's off limits, man, there is no limit to your pleasure, North, South, East, and West of the border.
-
(http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/2404/t048749a9wu.jpg)
-
There are generally two types of women. There are those who can only orgasm via cunnilingus or fingering or some combination. These women are in the majority. Then theres the minority who can achieve orgasm regularly by penetration. These women are generally more sensitive so it takes less stimulation to get them off. They can also be so sensitive that its just uncomfortable as hell.
Listen to loveline sometime bitches. You learn alot of shit there.
-
Generally speaking, I prefer fingers to tongues. But if a guy is especially skilled, then there are few things better than this (http://www.victory-girls.com/preview/31.jpg)-- preferably, though, with a headboard or something to hold onto....and not looking as though you're about to hit him. And, err, without clothes on.
(Believe it or not, I couldn't find an appropriate picture within three minutes and gave up)
-
That's pretty hot, Rill.
-
There are generally two types of women. There are those who can only orgasm via cunnilingus or fingering or some combination. These women are in the majority. Then theres the minority who can achieve orgasm regularly by penetration. These women are generally more sensitive so it takes less stimulation to get them off. They can also be so sensitive that its just uncomfortable as hell.
Applause to you for paying attention to the loveline conversations, EB.
Several men take a lack of interest as a hang up over either body image or the intimacy of the act. I have very few hang ups about either my body, or oral sex... I enjoy giving and receiving, but the receiving has to be small doses. It's a discomfort with the contact being "too direct", and a little overwhelming.
-
(Believe it or not, I couldn't find an appropriate picture within three minutes and gave up)
Quitter.
-
Generally speaking, I prefer fingers to tongues. But if a guy is especially skilled, then there are few things better than this (http://www.victory-girls.com/preview/31.jpg)-- preferably, though, with a headboard or something to hold onto....and not looking as though you're about to hit him. And, err, without clothes on.
(Believe it or not, I couldn't find an appropriate picture within three minutes and gave up)
That looks fun.
-
I looked for an appropriate pic to throw in, as to say A-HA...
It's all chicks. Not that I minded.
-
I looked for an appropriate pic to throw in, as to say A-HA...
It's all chicks. Not that I minded.
That sounds like more fun.
-
I looked for an appropriate pic to throw in, as to say A-HA...
It's all chicks. Not that I minded.
That sounds like more fun.
Agreed. If thats your thing, heres the screens from my latest filthy little torrent.
http://img176.imageshack.us/my.php?image=scr03gs0.jpg
-
Fisting is bad.
-
Fisting is bad.
Sources, please.
-
And?
-
I guess I won.
-
I guess I won.
Fifty years later sitting on rocking chairs...
Remember that fisting pic?
Yeah.
You didn't win.
Yes I did.
No you didn't.
-
Heh.
-
I looked for an appropriate pic to throw in, as to say A-HA...
It's all chicks. Not that I minded.
That sounds like more fun.
Agreed. If thats your thing, heres the screens from my latest filthy little torrent.
http://img176.imageshack.us/my.php?image=scr03gs0.jpg
Their pussies look cheesey.
-
I looked for an appropriate pic to throw in, as to say A-HA...
It's all chicks. Not that I minded.
That sounds like more fun.
Agreed. If thats your thing, heres the screens from my latest filthy little torrent.
http://img176.imageshack.us/my.php?image=scr03gs0.jpg
Their pussies look cheesey.
Cheezey? How big was that blunt? These bitches aint be gotten no cheezy pussies.
(http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/9915/dvdsample2dw9.jpg)
The dark haired one on the right... Yikes. She's second place in the Brasky 500. Looks a little like Angie Harmon in that pic.
-
I love the blonde on the end with the big hips. God damn big hips turn me on *pant pant pant*.
-
http://tgp.clubsandy.com/040320/
Blondie with the hips. Oiled up, stuff like that.
-
Yeah I love Sandy.
-
I love the blonde on the end with the big hips. God damn big hips turn me on *pant pant pant*.
Oh yeah. Them's child-bearin hips.
-
Mmmhmmm. Good for makin' babies.
-
After the prenup is signed, of course.
-
I love going down on a woman.
Absolutely. I love it as well.
Its erotic, its fun, it fucking gets me off.
Same. Its the situation where yourt partner getting off is the very thing that gets you off.
-
I love going down on a woman.
Absolutely. I love it as well.
Its erotic, its fun, it fucking gets me off.
Same. Its the situation where yourt partner getting off is the very thing that gets you off.
Is that why you have your tongue hanging out in your avatar?
-
Is that why you have your tongue hanging out in your avatar?
lol. Yes.
Seriously though the Dawn And Drew Show message board was actually the first one I'd ever signed up to and I just used a southpark pic for my av. Since most people on that board are a bit out there I decided to change my av to a picture of me sticking my tounge out. The responces were quite funny so now I just use this av in pretty much any board I join simply because of that. Oh and also cos I'm hoping it makes me attractive to females.
-
Is that why you have your tongue hanging out in your avatar?
lol. Yes.
Seriously though the Dawn And Drew Show message board was actually the first one I'd ever signed up to and I just used a southpark pic for my av. Since most people on that board are a bit out there I decided to change my av to a picture of me sticking my tounge out. The responces were quite funny so now I just use this av in pretty much any board I join simply because of that. Oh and also cos I'm hoping it makes me attractive to females.
Only if you use it well.
-
Oh and also cos I'm hoping it makes me attractive to females.
Only if you use it well.
Try a blue scarf. Worked for Elvis.
-
So why are we still not licking things? :shock:
-
(http://blog.booble.com/images/cunnilingus.jpg)
In Soviet Russia, pussy licks YOU!
-
So why are we still not licking things? :shock:
I'm not licking anything cos my g/f broke up with me just after christmas. Maybe I'm not so good with my tounge. I tried the writing the alphabet thing (writing the alphabet with my tounge), circles up and down and all sorts. Even combined tounge and fingers. I guess I need more practise or something.
Mind you she said she broke it off cos we are 2 completely different people but yeh I still sometimes wonder.
-
Another fallen hero to the myth of the alphabet.
Daniel-san. Paint the fence, flick and nibble the clit, three circles around the hole, and dive for pearls. Throw a few improv moves in there, and repeat. No fingering until the toes curl, shes not ready for a finger until its obvious she wants two.
-
Another fallen hero to the myth of the alphabet.
Daniel-san. Paint the fence, flick and nibble the clit, three circles around the hole, and dive for pearls. Throw a few improv moves in there, and repeat. No fingering until the toes curl, shes not ready for a finger until its obvious she wants two.
ok. Well my next g/f (if there ever is a next) will have to join the boards and post a thank you to your good self.
-
Another fallen hero to the myth of the alphabet.
Daniel-san. Paint the fence, flick and nibble the clit, three circles around the hole, and dive for pearls. Throw a few improv moves in there, and repeat. No fingering until the toes curl, shes not ready for a finger until its obvious she wants two.
ok. Well my next g/f (if there ever is a next) will have to join the boards and post a thank you to your good self.
If she's hot, just snap a pic at the moment she's ready for two fingers.
If she's not, I have no further interest.
-
Or... how about this... ?
All women are different... so just ask what she likes, becuase there are no fucking stupid rules. There's your 5 senses, and your instincts.
Also, big tip... vaginii and penii evolve in the womb from the same body part. (the clit being the head of the penis, and the innerlips are basically the shaft, and the outer lips are basically ball skin...) So imagine what it feels like to have someone scraping a fingernail against the side of it... or punching it really hard... yeah.... MOST people aren't into that. Don't believe everything you see in porn... (I've seen quite a few that make me want to cross my own legs for the poor girl who is choking back her tears as some douchebag is slamming his finger in and out of her basically treating her cunt like a punching bag... and she's just waiting to move on so her sore vag can relax a bit...)
The only "rules" are... (and even these will probably be wrong for some)
1. Don't be too gentle and lap at it like a cat... you can nibble, and get in there.
2. You can be rough... but don't break the damn thing.
-
What about dropkicking it?
-
Only upon request... or unwanted pregnancy.
(damn, I think I just negated any good karma I might have gotten from that last post) :D
-
I don't get why psychotic guys do that when they find out their girlfriends get pregnant. Just let her give birth and then throw the baby from a 2nd story window. Simple.
-
Pfft... that's too obvious... all it takes is an inch of water in an unattended bathtub.
Or to just make sure the baby sleeps face down.. and hope for SIDS.
-
You could just have the baby sleep in the same bed as you and 'accidentally' roll over and crush it.
-
Or you could not feed the family dog for a week.... and then let the baby crawl on the floor when you let Fido out...
-
Ah...the dingo defense.
-
Ah...the dingo defense.
Yes go to the Northern Territory here in Australia on a camping holiday and let the child loose. So we've gone from cunnilingus to baby murder. I feel like I'm on the Distorted View message boards.
-
Baby murder is a direct result from cunnilingus, because cunnilingus often leads to sexual intercourse, and sexual intercourse often leads to babies, and babies often lead to murder.
-
Trolls on message boards induce murderous rages. Irony?
-
I think not. I'm not learning anything here.
-
Progressive stupidity means the interweb is working.
-
Rules and technique are two different things. Theres no wrong way to fish, but I recommend using the proper style instead of swandiving off a pier with your mouth open.
-
I had an ex-boyfriend accuse me of making that word up. Note, I said ex-boyfriend.
-
In the spirit of fair play, I bumped this to balance out Joel's obsession with his penis.
Too much guts lately, not enough lust.
-
Still yes.
-
Still yes.
The...the POSSIBILITIES! :shock:
-
(http://www.dkimages.com/discover/previews/1051/152570.JPG)
-
(http://www.dkimages.com/discover/previews/1051/152570.JPG)
Dude...I, ME, I, I AM THAT BULL RIGHT NOW. Cause I'm like high and about to be horny and baby I am gonna wanna fuck something, you know what I'm sayin'?
-
Dude...I, ME, I, I AM THAT BULL RIGHT NOW. Cause I'm like high and about to be horny and baby I am gonna wanna fuck something, you know what I'm sayin'?
Um...
I think so.
-
Dude...I, ME, I, I AM THAT BULL RIGHT NOW. Cause I'm like high and about to be horny and baby I am gonna wanna fuck something, you know what I'm sayin'?
Um...
I think so.
Good as long as we agree.
-
You just can't take my bull though, dude.
-
But that statue was created by an Objectivist. And being an Objectivist I'm entitled to that bull.
-
I was using it.
-
But that bull is my property. You need to ask permission before you ride my bull.
-
Thats fine, I won't argue.
It didn't convey the right imagery anyway. First of all, it's not big enough, secondly it's a bronze. I'm brass. Thirdly, it hasn't pawed a hole in the sidewalk.
-
It was about to before it looked into Medusala's eyes and became stoned...duh.
-
(http://www.financialcryptography.com/images/bull1_dan_kozen.jpg)
-
Cunnilingus = yes, please!
(Just trying to get back at the topic at hand...)
-
We were kinda there... Sorta.
Trust me.
-
Yeah, it's a guy thing Julia. You wouldn't understand.
-
It was late, music was playing but I paid it no mind. She was draped over me, warm like a blanket and the strength of her body was subtle. Her hair hung around my head like a tent as her face hovered over mine, it was like staring into an intelligent sky dawning from under the branches of a willow tree. Her hands explored my body with curiosity, gently, unashamed but not crude. I could feel the soft press of her breasts against my chest, one hand slowly slid under her sweater and lingered across the small of her back, the other up the side of her neck, then back down again, a long slow slide. Every minute or so, she'd lean back a little to focus, then dive down again, hair and tongue and warmth.
She was getting hot, I could feel it in the stutter of her breath. My jeans were killing me, and somehow her sweater had vanished like a magic trick. She was positioned over my thigh, like riding a horse, grinding both of us off. Her skin had dim orange glow to it in the muted light, she felt like fiery silk. Her breasts were perfect, and she was no longer hovering forward, her spine had straightened as if in defiance of what was happening. Every time she'd lean backward, I'd follow, and suddenly the positions had reversed without a single spoken word. Somewhere in the apex of the reversal we lingered and I lost much of my restraint. She smiled, laid back and I followed.
The rest of our clothes whispered off in a flourish, landed wherever they landed. I was fully charged, I felt like doing six things at once, so I did. There was a delicate dampness to each of our skins that felt dry as sand when my fingertips found true wetness, and her back continued to arch as it did earlier, but now her chest faced up towards the ceiling and her legs slid open and remained that way. She wrapped a leg around my hip and I moved to the side a little, to hold it where it was. My hand was exploring her and I could feel the tension mounting, her breath was coming in short huffs like laughter, but this was no joke. My mouth went from her shoulder, across her chest, and her fingers dug into my hair and started pushing me down and her hips arched up to meet me half way.
"Mmm, jus' one sec... Would you fuckers mind getting the hell out of my livingroom? Christ..."
-
Oh. My bad. Sowwy.
-
This thread makes me want...well, I think you can guess what it makes me want.
-
This thread makes me want...well, I think you can guess what it makes me want.
Craigslist ad. You'd have an unlimited supply of tongues.
-
This thread makes me want...well, I think you can guess what it makes me want.
Craigslist ad. You'd have an unlimited supply of tongues.
Sounds like an excellent way to get a disease.
-
This thread makes me want...well, I think you can guess what it makes me want.
Craigslist ad. You'd have an unlimited supply of tongues.
Sounds like an excellent way to get a disease.
(http://womenexperience.files.wordpress.com/2007/01/dentaldam2.jpg)
-
Tongue cramps suck.
-
Well, I know I'm doing it wrong. :lol:
-
Well, I know I'm doing it wrong. :lol:
If the guy isn't injured by the end of the session, you have a problem.
Well, I'm doing it wrong because there is no session, because there is no guy. :P
-
Epic fail.
(http://hoox.files.wordpress.com/2006/08/uk-passport-cover.jpg)
-
Epic fail.
Yes, I'm well aware. See, it's not the cunnilingus or anything to do with that, that I'm doing wrong. It's getting to there in the first place. :lol:
-
This thread makes me want...well, I think you can guess what it makes me want.
Thats why I do this shit.
Go get some.
-
This thread makes me want...well, I think you can guess what it makes me want.
Craigslist ad. You'd have an unlimited supply of tongues.
Sounds like an excellent way to get a disease.
If you're paranoid, put in the ad that you want to see an STD report from within the last week or two showing that they're clean. You'd still get 50,000 emails.
-
You'd still get 50,000 emails.
Stop being so conservative.
-
You'd still get 50,000 emails.
Stop being so conservative.
Well, I'm assuming that Lindsey would be posting in the w4w section, and making it clear in the ad that she'd be videotaping everything and uploading it to a certain BBS she frequents. That might scare a couple of the more prudish people away, so I say 50,000 is a reasonable estimate.
-
Something like that is just a little shady. Not exactly my style. I don't think I'd be comfortable engaging in sexual activity with someone who answered an ad on the internet. I don't think I'd be comfortable being the person who solicited for sex via an ad on the internet. I'd much rather retain my dignity. Or what I have left of it, anyway.
-
Brasky, that was magnificent.
Feel free to PM me parts 2, 3 and 4.
-
Brasky, that was magnificent.
Feel free to PM me parts 2, 3 and 4.
Yeah, I think I got a little flustered. :lol:
-
This thread needs more innuendo.
-
Brasky, that was magnificent.
Feel free to PM me parts 2, 3 and 4.
Okay
In the meanwhile, check this out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fv7XQmJqi4
-
Oh, shit.
I forgot to say thanks for the compliment.
Gah, I hate it when I do that.
Its really not my fault, though.
-
This thread needs more innuendo.
This is a thread about sticking your tongue in someone else's vagina. I think we're past the point of innuendo.
-
This thread needs more innuendo.
This is a thread about sticking your tongue in someone else's vagina. I think we're past the point of innuendo.
That's my point. There's too much "straight forward" in this thread. It's not sexy unless it's innuendo.
-
This thread needs more innuendo.
This is a thread about sticking your tongue in someone else's vagina. I think we're past the point of innuendo.
That's my point. There's too much "straight forward" in this thread. It's not sexy unless it's innuendo.
Dude. When I let loose the Krakken and he bursts forth from the sea like the birth of a volcano, he's probably not gonna stop in the middle of his onslaught and ask which continent he should smash to pieces.
Trust me, I've tried. The fucking thing is just oblivious to suggestion.
-
This thread needs more innuendo.
This is a thread about sticking your tongue in someone else's vagina. I think we're past the point of innuendo.
That's my point. There's too much "straight forward" in this thread. It's not sexy unless it's innuendo.
Dude. When I let loose the Krakken and he bursts forth from the sea like the birth of a volcano, he's probably not gonna stop in the middle of his onslaught and ask which continent he should smash to pieces.
Trust me, I've tried. The fucking thing is just oblivious to suggestion.
So, are you going to give us the rest of the dirty story or not? :P
-
I haven't written it.
That was created in the text box.
I think the rest might remain unwritten. Consider it performance art. Maybe one day I'll ask a participant to complete it.
.
Dirty?
I'm sitting here with my eyebrows all crunched up.
grunt... wasn fkn drty... grumble.
-
Fine. Arousing. Whatever. Damn, now I have to watch regular porn.
-
You could continue to read irregular porn, but I'm fresh out.
Hey! Josh could write you one. He's good at narratives.
-
I performed cunnilingus last night, after doing the scent test first of course. In fact I believe its the primary reason I got laid. +1 for eating clean fresh snatch.
-
Hey Joel, this interests me, and don't get the idea that I pick apart every detail of yours looking for flaws and inconsistencies, mk? I know I often bust your chops, but this isn't one of those times.
Have you ever eaten pussy then NOT gotten laid?
I mean it seems fairly certain from that point onward, you're gonna dick her, right?
I've done that more than a few times, but when you live with someone, its a different situation. Usually, I'd trap her coming out of the shower so she didn't have any question of her own cleanliness (some chicks cannot enjoy themselves if they feel like they need a shower) and leave her a thrashed out jittering mess on the sink, seeya, that was nice... And go on my way. But never with someone I've picked up or girlfriends who you don't see every day.
-
Epic fail.
Yes, I'm well aware. See, it's not the cunnilingus or anything to do with that, that I'm doing wrong. It's getting to there in the first place. :lol:
Man I miss bitchslapping you for posts like this.
-
Epic fail.
Yes, I'm well aware. See, it's not the cunnilingus or anything to do with that, that I'm doing wrong. It's getting to there in the first place. :lol:
Man I miss bitchslapping you for posts like this.
Amen.
-
Epic fail.
Yes, I'm well aware. See, it's not the cunnilingus or anything to do with that, that I'm doing wrong. It's getting to there in the first place. :lol:
Man I miss bitchslapping you for posts like this.
Notice how the posts chilled out?
Suddenly, posts take a nosedive. Karma, now its gone. Little happy points were the reason for people to say their shit.
Talk about epic fail.
-
Epic fail.
Yes, I'm well aware. See, it's not the cunnilingus or anything to do with that, that I'm doing wrong. It's getting to there in the first place. :lol:
Man I miss bitchslapping you for posts like this.
Notice how the posts chilled out?
Suddenly, posts take a nosedive. Karma, now its gone. Little happy points were the reason for people to say their shit.
Talk about epic fail.
I think we're better off without it. I just feel like retaliating in some way when Lindsey plays the 'woe is me, I never get laid' emo card.
-
Epic fail.
Yes, I'm well aware. See, it's not the cunnilingus or anything to do with that, that I'm doing wrong. It's getting to there in the first place. :lol:
Man I miss bitchslapping you for posts like this.
Notice how the posts chilled out?
Suddenly, posts take a nosedive. Karma, now its gone. Little happy points were the reason for people to say their shit.
Talk about epic fail.
Meh.
-
Epic fail.
Yes, I'm well aware. See, it's not the cunnilingus or anything to do with that, that I'm doing wrong. It's getting to there in the first place. :lol:
Man I miss bitchslapping you for posts like this.
You deserve for someone to stomp on your face while wearing baseball cleats.
-
I think we're better off without it. I just feel like retaliating in some way when Lindsey plays the 'woe is me, I never get laid' emo card.
In before Lindsey's patented "what are you talking about?"
-
Epic fail.
Yes, I'm well aware. See, it's not the cunnilingus or anything to do with that, that I'm doing wrong. It's getting to there in the first place. :lol:
Man I miss bitchslapping you for posts like this.
You deserve for someone to stomp on your face while wearing baseball cleats.
The truth hurts, I know.
-
Epic fail.
Yes, I'm well aware. See, it's not the cunnilingus or anything to do with that, that I'm doing wrong. It's getting to there in the first place. :lol:
Man I miss bitchslapping you for posts like this.
You deserve for someone to stomp on your face while wearing baseball cleats.
The truth hurts, I know.
You're an idiot and a jackass. DIAF.
-
This should be in my faggot thread. Faggots.
-
This should be in my faggot thread. Faggots.
I can let Josh know how much I dislike him in any thread. There's nothing special about it.
-
This should be in my faggot thread. Faggots.
I can let Josh know how much I dislike him in any thread. There's nothing special about it.
The truth hurts.
-
[14:34] blunderbrush: you know you're telling the truth when lindsey gets all serious
-
[14:34] blunderbrush: you know you're telling the truth when lindsey gets all serious
:roll:
I just think it's stupid that you wish you could still go around bitchslapping people. It's true...all the two of you did was applaud each other, and then turn around and bitchslap other people. It's sad that you wasted your time that way, but whatever.
-
This should be in my faggot thread. Faggots.
I can let Josh know how much I dislike him in any thread. There's nothing special about it.
Well, fuck you then.
-
[14:34] blunderbrush: you know you're telling the truth when lindsey gets all serious
:roll:
I just think it's stupid that you wish you could still go around bitchslapping people. It's true...all the two of you did was applaud each other, and then turn around and bitchslap other people. It's sad that you wasted your time that way, but whatever.
Oh, this was about bitchslapping?
-
This should be in my faggot thread. Faggots.
I can let Josh know how much I dislike him in any thread. There's nothing special about it.
Well, fuck you then.
+1
-
[14:34] blunderbrush: you know you're telling the truth when lindsey gets all serious
:roll:
I just think it's stupid that you wish you could still go around bitchslapping people. It's true...all the two of you did was applaud each other, and then turn around and bitchslap other people. It's sad that you wasted your time that way, but whatever.
Oh, this was about bitchslapping?
That, and the two of you feeling the need to spend your own time talking about me. Don't you have something better to do? Get over it, already.
-
That, and the two of you feeling the need to spend your own time talking about me. Don't you have something better to do? Get over it, already.
If you don't like people talking about you, then stop being so emo all the time.
-
[14:34] blunderbrush: you know you're telling the truth when lindsey gets all serious
:roll:
I just think it's stupid that you wish you could still go around bitchslapping people. It's true...all the two of you did was applaud each other, and then turn around and bitchslap other people. It's sad that you wasted your time that way, but whatever.
Oh, this was about bitchslapping?
That, and the two of you feeling the need to spend your own time talking about me. Don't you have something better to do? Get over it, already.
You're the one that brought it up. Don't bring it up and not expect someone to comment.
And of course we applauded each other. I applauded a lot of people. I also bitchslapped a lot of people. You say that like it's some great mystery finally revealed or something.
-
blah blah blah
I like your avatar.
-
Drama?!
On MY Internets!
Do you agree or disagree?
-
And of course we applauded each other. I applauded a lot of people. I also bitchslapped a lot of people. You say that like it's some great mystery finally revealed or something.
Ha, have some tits.
http://64.46.38.232/hosted/photodromm_84/gallery/07.htm
-
Bridget wishes she could post in this thread.
-
I'm not sure if I agree, but that quote is much large to copy.
-
Bridget wishes she could post in this thread.
Doesn't she want to keep her cock and balls though?
-
If its not your cock and balls, it doesn't concern you.
-
If its not your cock and balls, it doesn't concern you.
What does that have to do with anything?
-
[14:34] blunderbrush: you know you're telling the truth when lindsey gets all serious
:roll:
I just think it's stupid that you wish you could still go around bitchslapping people. It's true...all the two of you did was applaud each other, and then turn around and bitchslap other people. It's sad that you wasted your time that way, but whatever.
Oh, this was about bitchslapping?
That, and the two of you feeling the need to spend your own time talking about me. Don't you have something better to do? Get over it, already.
You're the one that brought it up. Don't bring it up and not expect someone to comment.
And of course we applauded each other. I applauded a lot of people. I also bitchslapped a lot of people. You say that like it's some great mystery finally revealed or something.
I didn't bring shit up. I made a passing comment that doesn't lack a shred of honesty. It was just that - passing, until you couldn't help but throw your two cents in. Big deal. If I had the fortune of going out on dates, chances are likely it would turn in to misfortune because those men might turn out to be as childish as you. Thanks, but no thanks.
-
Oh, wah.
-
[14:34] blunderbrush: you know you're telling the truth when lindsey gets all serious
:roll:
I just think it's stupid that you wish you could still go around bitchslapping people. It's true...all the two of you did was applaud each other, and then turn around and bitchslap other people. It's sad that you wasted your time that way, but whatever.
Oh, this was about bitchslapping?
That, and the two of you feeling the need to spend your own time talking about me. Don't you have something better to do? Get over it, already.
You're the one that brought it up. Don't bring it up and not expect someone to comment.
And of course we applauded each other. I applauded a lot of people. I also bitchslapped a lot of people. You say that like it's some great mystery finally revealed or something.
I didn't bring shit up. I made a passing comment that doesn't lack a shred of honesty. It was just that - passing, until you couldn't help but throw your two cents in. Big deal. If I had the fortune of going out on dates, chances are likely it would turn in to misfortune because those men might turn out to be as childish as you. Thanks, but no thanks.
It's not childish to be annoyed by something and point it out. From what I hear, you've been doing this shit for about four years straight. It's starting to get a little old.
-
[14:34] blunderbrush: you know you're telling the truth when lindsey gets all serious
:roll:
I just think it's stupid that you wish you could still go around bitchslapping people. It's true...all the two of you did was applaud each other, and then turn around and bitchslap other people. It's sad that you wasted your time that way, but whatever.
Oh, this was about bitchslapping?
That, and the two of you feeling the need to spend your own time talking about me. Don't you have something better to do? Get over it, already.
You're the one that brought it up. Don't bring it up and not expect someone to comment.
And of course we applauded each other. I applauded a lot of people. I also bitchslapped a lot of people. You say that like it's some great mystery finally revealed or something.
I didn't bring shit up. I made a passing comment that doesn't lack a shred of honesty. It was just that - passing, until you couldn't help but throw your two cents in. Big deal. If I had the fortune of going out on dates, chances are likely it would turn in to misfortune because those men might turn out to be as childish as you. Thanks, but no thanks.
It's not childish to be annoyed by something and point it out. From what I hear, you've been doing this shit for about four years straight. It's starting to get a little old.
Oh please. Coming from you. Nothing is a big deal unless somebody makes it a big deal. :roll:
-
Sometimes in movies you see a judge snap the head off a gavel, but I've never seen anyone smash a hole through the bench before.
-
NEEDS MOAR CLITZ
-
Barmp.
-
Wow, ultra super mega crazy bump.
Re: the topic - yet another thing on my "To do before I die" list.
-
Wow, ultra super mega crazy bump.
Re: the topic - yet another thing on my "To do before I die" list.
ORLY? :twisted:
-
Wow, ultra super mega crazy bump.
Re: the topic - yet another thing on my "To do before I die" list.
ORLY? :twisted:
YA RLY :twisted: :twisted:
-
Wow, ultra super mega crazy bump.
Re: the topic - yet another thing on my "To do before I die" list.
You've never had the pleasure of languidly slurping a lady's vagina before?
-
Wow, ultra super mega crazy bump.
Re: the topic - yet another thing on my "To do before I die" list.
You've never had the pleasure of languidly slurping a lady's vagina before?
I've never even been kissed.
Yeah, I know. I'm way behind.
-
Wow, ultra super mega crazy bump.
Re: the topic - yet another thing on my "To do before I die" list.
ORLY? :twisted:
YA RLY :twisted: :twisted:
I BELIEVE I CAN HELP YOU WITH THIS, SIR. :lol:
-
I've never even been kissed.
Yeah, I know. I'm way behind.
Let me say, both are highly recommended and often I prefer cunnilingus to kissing...at least mouth to mouth kissing that is.
-
I've never even been kissed.
Yeah, I know. I'm way behind.
Let me say, both are highly recommended and often I prefer cunnilingus to kissing...at least mouth to mouth kissing that is.
I loathe you right now. :lol:
-
I loathe you right now. :lol:
I know :P
-
Wow, ultra super mega crazy bump.
Re: the topic - yet another thing on my "To do before I die" list.
You've never had the pleasure of languidly slurping a lady's vagina before?
I've never even been kissed.
Yeah, I know. I'm way behind.
Don't worry about it...I hadn't had my first 'real' kiss until November 2007, when I was 18.
-
Excuse me, tards, but we're talking about licking cunt.
Because I'm a chill motherfucker, I'll give you four and a half minutes of sexy face slurping.
[youtube=425,350]Joqf35Pn2cI[/youtube]
I ain't seen no girls in here except Lindsey since the bump.
-
The ratio slumped.
I don't know...it seems like we have a lot more now. Cynthia, TimeLady, what's-her-face.
-
They don't like having their cunnies linguised.
I don't know about that. TimeLady's a self-professed dyke.
-
They don't like having their cunnies linguised.
I don't know about that. TimeLady's a self-professed dyke.
Translation, no guy will hit it.
?
-
I ain't seen no girls in here except Lindsey since the bump.
I'm sticking with my original answer. Maybe - It depends.
Clarification:
If done badly, or with reluctance, no.
If done okay, but with enthusiasm, yes.
If done well, hell yes.
-
I ain't seen no girls in here except Lindsey since the bump.
I'm sticking with my original answer. Maybe - It depends.
Clarification:
If done badly, or with reluctance, no.
If done okay, but with enthusiasm, yes.
If done well, hell yes.
Yes.
-
3 ladies say they hate it..?
-
3 ladies say they hate it..?
They were probably guys.
-
I ain't seen no girls in here except Lindsey since the bump.
I'm sticking with my original answer. Maybe - It depends.
Clarification:
If done badly, or with reluctance, no.
If done okay, but with enthusiasm, yes.
If done well, hell yes.
Yes.
Just so you know, I'm gonna eat you out on my boat on my 40th birthday.
First questions first...how are you going to survive Ian's AK?
-
I ain't seen no girls in here except Lindsey since the bump.
I'm sticking with my original answer. Maybe - It depends.
Clarification:
If done badly, or with reluctance, no.
If done okay, but with enthusiasm, yes.
If done well, hell yes.
Yes.
Just so you know, I'm gonna eat you out on my boat on my 40th birthday.
Not sure if you're talking about me, or Joy, or perhaps both, but sounds sweet either way.
-
I wouldn't worry about force too much. Don't they have an open relationship anyway? HAPPY LICKING, KIDS!
-
I wouldn't worry about force too much.
Do I look concerned?
I don't know. Send me a dirty picture and we'll talk.