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Author Topic: OPINION PLEASE  (Read 3604 times)

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« on: June 05, 2012, 09:31:00 PM »

<hawver1013>: do u have a facebook?
<hawver1013>: Yeah I would like to keep in touch i am scared. I married into all of this. its not like I am a molester and want this stuff. My stepdaughter has alot of problems and being sexualy abused before i came is one of them.
<Discharge>: no, i get that
<Discharge>: you can email me at
<Discharge>: you have a hard situation
<hawver1013>: Ok the agencys involved know she was sexualy abused and my wife did try and get help but the agencies ignored her. So what tipped it off this time and the reason we got our kids taken away is because we(wife and I did not know this) one of our friends was a sex offender and he molested our kids, and then my wife went to do the right thing and report it and
<Discharge>: and?
<hawver1013>: the hospital turned it into cps. cps took our kids on dec 13th and then sometime in January kaydee our daughter  Accused me of sexual abuse and then the caseworker said he contacted the police and never got back to us and the cops never came out.  Well like I said I wrote a letter on ask.com but that did not have anything bad in it. I was sexualy abused by my
<Discharge>: my?
<hawver1013>: daughter. She tried grabbing my sister before and I found out by a friend of mine who used to date my wife she tried to unbutton my wifes moms shirt. She was also named a Preditor with cps.]
<hawver1013>: my wifes mom is dead so she cant testfy for me.
<Discharge>: hmm
<Discharge>: i feel you have a lot to get off your chest
<Discharge>: do you feel comfortable calling in with your story
<Discharge>: you may find it lightening
<Discharge>: you really are in a tough space
<Discharge>: and I think you'd feel better if you talk about it
<Discharge>: and it will be a good opening for group when you get there
<Discharge>: its a good practice
<hawver1013>: But Kaydee started acting out with me. My wife works and so I was home alone with her and her sister and I give the kids baths and kaydee has adhd and other stuff but her meds wore off so i would litterly have to pick her up out of the tub and dry her off otherwise she would 1.drown or 2.or chill. I am a good father and was just doing fatherly things. and
<Discharge>: uhhuh
<hawver1013>: another thing is she used to sleep in our bed BUT I would lay the kids in their own beds and i am a heavy sleeper and the kids would come into my room and sleep in our bed and one night I caught her trying to pull my pants down to copulate sex. So I moved down on the couch to get away from her but she kept following me.
<Discharge>: right
<Discharge>: good for you
<Discharge>: i am so sorry
<Discharge>: this is such a hard situation
<hawver1013>: So what she sees as abuse did not happen but she is soo messed up and such that i want to tell people this your the first one ive told my story too.
<Discharge>: i get that
<Discharge>: thats so horrible
<Discharge>: do not talk to the law
<Discharge>: ever
<hawver1013>: I would call but I dont have a lawyer. Can you call in for me? I do not mind.
<Discharge>: never ever ever talk to the law
<Discharge>: i couldn't do you justice
<Discharge>: and you deserve it
<hawver1013>: right because the law has her side of the story and like my dad said they beleave the child over the adult.
<Discharge>: do not let them sell you down the river
<Discharge>: you will be fine
<Discharge>: but never talk to the law
<hawver1013>: right I am going to fight this I may end up in jail but I will still fight.
<hawver1013>: ok here is my question
<Discharge>: if you dont say anything you will be fine
<Discharge>: and i hate child molestors
<Discharge>: but i understand your plight
<Discharge>: you are not that
<hawver1013>: Say that the cops come and question me and I refuse to talk, my mom and sister and brother inlaw said not to talk without a lawyer. But what will happen to me next if I do not talk and ask for a lawyer, will they arrest me? Ive never been introuble with the law before.
<Discharge>: they may
<Discharge>: because child abuse is weird about that
<Discharge>: but never say anything to them
<Discharge>: its better than 15 years in prison
<hawver1013>: Im not a molester I love my kids but because of the system failing my wife this happened
<hawver1013>: right.
<Discharge>: at worst you may spend 6 months in prison
<Discharge>: if you dont talk
<Discharge>: because of them holding you
<hawver1013>: they want me to take a lye detector test should I?
<Discharge>: you are in a shitty situation
<Discharge>: no
<Discharge>: never
<hawver1013>: right  Ok because people seem to think that lie detectors are good, I dont think they are good. And besides dont they take questions from the victims point of view? I am the victim that is why i will not take a test.
<Discharge>: lie detectors are not accurate, and you are giving up your 5th ammendmant rights
<Discharge>: just say no
<hawver1013>: heck I goto church every sunday Im not trying to hide guilt or anything I am not a molester and yet my county views me as one.
<Discharge>: and if thy are not accurate you can give false positives
<hawver1013>: right
<Discharge>: theres no gain on your part to do it
<Discharge>: and if you don't you dont get in any more trouble
<Discharge>: so why do it
<Discharge>: but you need to go to group
<hawver1013>: right I want them to be able to proove their point. Another thing is we went to one of our cps courthearing and what i was trying to type on the window is that they saw this. I want to get a copy of the letter and let you see it
<Discharge>: you will see the people that did do what they alleged you did and what happene to them
<Discharge>: and those that were falsely accused and got off
<hawver1013>: I tried to goto a group, Ok we were ordered by cps in order to get our kids back we needed to attend classes at this place called CAFE so my wife and i were doing this and when the courts saw this letter and the CAFE lady was there in court too. Well she talked to my wife that day or the next and they said i was dropped from the classes because like I said iv
<hawver1013>: e got everyone accuseing me of being a molester. And so I asked weeks before for them to get me a group that works with men who have been sexualy abused and she called them and she said she would call back but thats after getting the letter.
<hawver1013>: So i want to goto a group but cant.
<Discharge>: right
<Discharge>: pull out the yellow book
<Discharge>: make some calls
<Discharge>: you need help
<Discharge>: and we all do
<Discharge>: don't do it alone
<hawver1013>: Here is the letter. And alittle background my daughter when she first started acting out sexualy twards me she I wear my clothing to bed so I can get up if the kids got into things so I was under the blankets our bed was aginst the wall my wife has a cpap she uses so it was by the plug. I was trying (my wife was at work) and so i had the whole bed to myself
<hawver1013>: I was about to goto sleep when kaydee comes in and climbs on my bed with the covers up and I knew that she was fixing to sexualy assult me. So i tossed her off and tried to scramble to the other side of the bed to get away but she was too fast would get back on me she had this glazed look on her face and when I did not comply to her sexual need she slapped me
<hawver1013>: She was clothed also so I do not see the big stink but I wrote it wrong. and because of this my wifes cps lawyer wants her to divorce me.
<hawver1013>: here is the letter. (note that how I told you is the correct way it happened.)
<hawver1013>: Got a question about sexualy acting out child.? I have this 8 year old child who has been acting out sexually. She told the cops that I molested her when she was the one trying stuff on me. I asked her to stop but she would hold my hands to my sides and would not let me up. I know that sounds strange but unless you were there you cant realy judge. She also we
<hawver1013>: fter her autistic brother and she went after her aunt also at her house, but yet she says i sexual abused her. The cops are supposed to come down and question me. It got so bad her acting out on me i started sleeping on the couch. What do I tell the cop and what are my chances of me getting out of this, because she has a good thing of lying and I know what ha
<hawver1013>: Many will beleave it was me acting out on her. But I told my parents and her consoler and like I said this all started before i married their mom. My sister said "your wife should of told you that the girl was acting out sexualy." No judgmental answers please.
<hawver1013>: I know I made a mistake by writing the letter but it was because i was scard fusterated
<hawver1013>: my sister wrote this too me.
<hawver1013>: May 4Tiana Madsen How was it a mistake? You didn't use names. I know you were just trying to get help on how to handle this situation.
<Discharge>: yeah, wow
<hawver1013>: But here is what a good pastor friend said.
<hawver1013>: Jermain Newby-Allen Hawver That is the letter everyone is freaking out about. But like I said I admit I worded things wrong but I was stressed and hurting. Some one said the only thing you can do now is tell the truth. And that letter is the truth. I could of worded it better and left some things out but, thats just me Tim I have a hard time sometimes communi
<hawver1013>: I could of worded it better and left some things out but, thats just me Tim I have a hard time sometimes communicating what I want to say.  May 23Tim Carlson Despite their claims, there is no admission of guilt in what you wrote.
<Discharge>: that is very specific
<Discharge>: im glad you have all that
<hawver1013>: Sorry to fill your window with that.
<Discharge>: but the fact still remains
<Discharge>: that you need to get out of that situtation
<Discharge>: you need to get out now
<Discharge>: you need to get your mind right
<hawver1013>: but this is what ive been going through
<Discharge>: ok
<Discharge>: did you leave
<hawver1013>: right ive called around to diffrent agencies and no help
<hawver1013>: did i leave what?
<Discharge>: the mother
<hawver1013>: no she disagrees with the situation herself she knows kaydee. she did apologize. it looks as if we are not going to get the kids back anyways because of our income and since kaydee is a preditor now she cant be around her younger sister. and if i go away to jail it would be just my wife.
<hawver1013>: But I did not leave her anyway because I want a reason to sue her lawyer. like i said WITHOUT BEING CHARGED WITH ANYTHING HE WANTS HER TO DIVORCE ME.
<Discharge>: yeah
<Discharge>: well you should run away from that
<Discharge>: make your life right
<hawver1013>: right i know i know.
<Discharge>: this is a failure in your life
<Discharge>: that you are drawn to that
<Discharge>: you need to get away
<hawver1013>: right.
<Discharge>: but you dont see that
<hawver1013>: im gonna do that.
<hawver1013>: your the 2nd person who has told me that.
<hawver1013>: But im also a Christian and I dont know if u are one but thats another reason I want to call the lawyers bluff i want him to make her split with me so i dont disobey the bible.
<hawver1013>: im not trying to preach but anyways that my lifes story lol.


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« Reply #1 on: June 06, 2012, 03:07:13 AM »

A serious situation like you are in is a very bad time to take a work of fiction like the bible as the last word on what would be wise choices.
Are you insane?

Diogenes The Cynic

  • Cynic. Pessimist. Skeptic. Jerk.
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« Reply #2 on: June 06, 2012, 06:55:26 AM »

Walk away. You may love your wife, and your adopted kid but you don't want to end up in prison because the kid thought you molested her.

The underlying assumption behind my advise is that every individual would always work within their rational self-interest. In your case, the threat of going to jail is against yours, so you should avoid it at all costs. All costs.

This is my .02, but what do I know, I'm a stranger on the internet.
I am looking for an honest man. -Diogenes The Cynic

Dude, I thought you were a spambot for like a week. You posted like a spambot. You failed the Turing test.

                                -Dennis Goddard
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