What was the shortest time you ever took a shit in?

[davann]

What about two or three flushers? Do you have to be dinged time cause the toliet was designed for 90 lbs asian women?

Mine are always done within 1 minute and the majority of time is used cleaning up. I too can not understand the shits that take longer. It always make me wonder if the person has some sort of medical issue.

[anarchir]

What about two or three flushers? Do you have to be dinged time cause the toliet was designed for 90 lbs asian women?

Mine are always done within 1 minute and the majority of time is used cleaning up. I too can not understand the shits that take longer. It always make me wonder if the person has some sort of medical issue.

Yep.  If I ever find myself in the market for a toilet, I want one that doesnt make me plunge every single goddamn time. Something industrial I think.   

[Robin]

guess i need a stopwatch, i have never timed it

[ElGuapo]

About 13 or 14 years ago, when I was going through Army basic training, to learn the proper way to point a gun at a stranger; I was given "less than 60 god-damned seconds" - from the hallway - to get into the bathroom, do my business and get back into the hallway in the "front leaning rest" position. I don't remember what the punishment would have been, but I was highly motivated and I took the "fastest god-damned shit" that drill sergeant had ever seen - or so he said (it helped that pressure had been building for quite some time - I was desperate to to hit the can; it was like popping the cork from campaign bottle). I remember my o-ring really hurt for a few days after that, probably from forcing it so abruptly - it wasn't a natural thing to do. I do not know what the exact time was, I think it took about 50 seconds total. Probably doesn't really count though - too forced and too unnatural.

One fellar said, "The water's cold" and the other fellar said, "The water's deep". I believe one fella come from Arkansas. Get it?

[blackie]

When I was at inprocessing for basic training I only ate crackers and jalapeno pepper for a couple days. I had hot shit.

[johnnyhotshots]

I used to take a book to the shitter but ended up with painful piles now I just shit 'n' go.....

It's all down to how much sleep I get as it aids the digestion system...hmmm average 40 seconds