I'm here to talk Risk, baby

[Pat_9000]

Hey everyone, Pat_9000 here 

I'm here to talk Risk, baby.

I'm sure that some of you Liberty Lovers loved the game Risk as youngsters and adolescents.  I know what you're thinking.  You're thinking that I am spying on you through your television screens.  Well, I'm not.  Many, many Americans enjoy board games... it's a great tradition that even Muslims can respect.

I played my first game of Risk when I was 14 years old.  My friend Chris had a couple peens for parents who wouldn't shell out the big bucks for a Turbo Grafx 16, and one boring summer evening Chris and I were getting iced in the hall closet when we noticed a dusty box on the shelf.  I picked up the box and it said Risk.  Chris and I were into Risks like shoplifting, getting iced, minor vandalism, homosex you name it.  So we smoked ice until our fingers were burned to the bone, kissed one another, brought a checkered blanket and two flashlights out into the open and played the game with nothing but chirping crickets and the ghostly prairie wind to keep us company.

I recall selecting the Yellow Army, holding down Australia and eventually crushing my opponent in a way that was more devastating than rape.  It ended our friendship right then and there, and I was suddenly on the right path.

I replaced my sinful ways with board games, volunteering, thoughtfully critiquing videos on YouTube, sending letters to my congressman, liberty, heterosexual thoughts while masturbating and learning to shave my face, wear antiperspirant when I can't squeeze in a shower, flossing my teeth and knowing my multiplication tables, being able to make change etc. for my new job as a Pizza Delivery Expert at Domino's.

I owe all of my success to the game of Risk, and that's why I'm here today and not on MySpace or some Socialist web forum.

Although I wish that they would decriminalize ice for recreational use, that is another topic for another forum.  I'm here to talk Risk, baby.

[Andy]

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

[MotorBoatingSOB]

I really enjoy playing Risk, however my most recent games involved my stupid ass buddy (who is now an FBI agent incidentally) who used to ruin every game by immediately going on the offensive against only 1 other person. This had the effect of taking himself and his target, usually me, out of the game quickly while everyone else went along happily and played a normal game.

Now that I'm describing this, maybe it shouldn't be surprising that this guy ended up in the FBI.

[Sam Gunn (since nobody got Admiral Naismith)]

Check out Empire XP, it's Risk for the computer.

[Chezter]

I really liked that game

[Riddler]

sorry.
you lost me at the gay sex part.