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Profile of Pat_9000
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The Rubber Room - Not Safe for Work / I'm here to talk Risk, baby
« on: October 29, 2009, 06:23:15 AM »
Hey everyone, Pat_9000 here 
I'm here to talk Risk, baby.
I'm sure that some of you Liberty Lovers loved the game Risk as youngsters and adolescents. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that I am spying on you through your television screens. Well, I'm not. Many, many Americans enjoy board games... it's a great tradition that even Muslims can respect.
I played my first game of Risk when I was 14 years old. My friend Chris had a couple peens for parents who wouldn't shell out the big bucks for a Turbo Grafx 16, and one boring summer evening Chris and I were getting iced in the hall closet when we noticed a dusty box on the shelf. I picked up the box and it said Risk. Chris and I were into Risks like shoplifting, getting iced, minor vandalism, homosex you name it. So we smoked ice until our fingers were burned to the bone, kissed one another, brought a checkered blanket and two flashlights out into the open and played the game with nothing but chirping crickets and the ghostly prairie wind to keep us company.
I recall selecting the Yellow Army, holding down Australia and eventually crushing my opponent in a way that was more devastating than rape. It ended our friendship right then and there, and I was suddenly on the right path.
I replaced my sinful ways with board games, volunteering, thoughtfully critiquing videos on YouTube, sending letters to my congressman, liberty, heterosexual thoughts while masturbating and learning to shave my face, wear antiperspirant when I can't squeeze in a shower, flossing my teeth and knowing my multiplication tables, being able to make change etc. for my new job as a Pizza Delivery Expert at Domino's.
I owe all of my success to the game of Risk, and that's why I'm here today and not on MySpace or some Socialist web forum.
Although I wish that they would decriminalize ice for recreational use, that is another topic for another forum. I'm here to talk Risk, baby.
I'm here to talk Risk, baby.
I'm sure that some of you Liberty Lovers loved the game Risk as youngsters and adolescents. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that I am spying on you through your television screens. Well, I'm not. Many, many Americans enjoy board games... it's a great tradition that even Muslims can respect.
I played my first game of Risk when I was 14 years old. My friend Chris had a couple peens for parents who wouldn't shell out the big bucks for a Turbo Grafx 16, and one boring summer evening Chris and I were getting iced in the hall closet when we noticed a dusty box on the shelf. I picked up the box and it said Risk. Chris and I were into Risks like shoplifting, getting iced, minor vandalism, homosex you name it. So we smoked ice until our fingers were burned to the bone, kissed one another, brought a checkered blanket and two flashlights out into the open and played the game with nothing but chirping crickets and the ghostly prairie wind to keep us company.
I recall selecting the Yellow Army, holding down Australia and eventually crushing my opponent in a way that was more devastating than rape. It ended our friendship right then and there, and I was suddenly on the right path.
I replaced my sinful ways with board games, volunteering, thoughtfully critiquing videos on YouTube, sending letters to my congressman, liberty, heterosexual thoughts while masturbating and learning to shave my face, wear antiperspirant when I can't squeeze in a shower, flossing my teeth and knowing my multiplication tables, being able to make change etc. for my new job as a Pizza Delivery Expert at Domino's.
I owe all of my success to the game of Risk, and that's why I'm here today and not on MySpace or some Socialist web forum.
Although I wish that they would decriminalize ice for recreational use, that is another topic for another forum. I'm here to talk Risk, baby.
3
General / Would you accept 1 million dollars for...
« on: August 17, 2009, 06:41:56 PM »
Let's say you were approached by some Russians. They offer you one million dollars, but the catch is if you turn 70, you will forcibly be drowned in a bowl of diahrrea shit by europeans. Microchips will be involved so don't get fancy.
4
General / Pat: New female listener
« on: April 15, 2006, 08:12:12 AM »
Hi, my name is Pat Van Dyke. I love liberty and FTL especially!
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