The first sign is funny as hell...both versions
The comments made me laugh, too:
"Stay in our ski resort, we offer eternal life!"
"Not a good time to be indecisive..."
"If you've skied that far without snow, why not try it?"
"Welcome to Kamp Kevorkian -- We're Kooky About Killing"
The second sign, not so much. I love the comments, however:
"Persons harrassing the elderly will be shot by snipers."
"Attention to new medical personnel : Old people are fragile. Pushing them will cause their legs to break off."
"Red Cross has had enough of needy people"