Gun to your head. You MUST fuck one. Left or right?

I'll take left.
Knowing you, I *know* it's a TARP.
I'm guessing left is the most manly-looking creature with a vijay on Planet Earth, and on the right is a ladyboy.
Ummm you didn't specify the nature of the fucking AND THERE IS A GUN TO MY HEAD so I might go with between the boobs of the pretty but presumably trap right-hand-side. Because even if it has a vajayjay the individual on the left is simply too much like Ron Weasley's sick cousin for me to even contemplate