The Free Talk Live BBS
Free Talk Live => General => Topic started by: Amazing Richard on April 28, 2011, 10:26:09 PM
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One could easily make their own egg salad sandwich at home, and 9 times out of 10, it will be more satisfying than pizza.
Would anybody concur with me on this statement?
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Yuck
Heres an idea.....
- Boil 5 eggs and eat them all at once
- Drink a half gallon of warm whole milk
- Eat a few stalks of celery
- Get one of those big wooden spoons and scoop yourself out about 5 big ass spoonfulls of the Miracle Whip and gulp it down as fast as you can
- Put two pieces of Wonder Bread in your pockets (this comes in later)
- Chain smoke a whole pack of lucky strikes, non-filter, inhale deeply and hold
- After following the above steps, immediately go outside on a 105 degree day, walk out in the middle of the street and start doing pushups on the hot asphalt
- When you cant do any more of those, stand back up and do as many jumping-jacks as your body will allow you to do
- Soon you should feel the urge to vomit
- Take the two pieces of bread out of your pocket and catch as much of the vomit between the two pieces of bread that you possibly can
- Eat
Same exact shit.
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I agree with Quickmike 100% on this one. YUCK
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Let me tell you guys how to make a REAL egg salad sandwich.
Rule #1: DO NOT INCORPORATE CELERY!!!
I typically use 2 eggs to make one sandwich. Add some salt, mayo. If you are not too lazy, you may want to chop up a bit of onion and stick it into the mix.
The main secret is that the wonder bread has to be slightly toasted.
DO NOT cut the sandwich to make 2 triangles....instead cut it the other way.
If you follow these very basic instructions, I believe that I will make you a believer.
You will also want to eat the sandwich over a plate, cuz the contents are likely to plop out of the bread. When this occurs, you scoop up the contents that fell on the plate...WITH THE SANDWICH, ITSELF!!!! ....and continue to eat.
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Mark it zero.
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No offense to one of your fav foods Richard, but I'd rather sew my mouth to my anus for sustenance.
Cant count the number of times people have said "oh, but mike, this egg salad is DIFFERENT, my grandma doesn't make it like anyone else and people all the time that talk just like you end up liking it" so im like , ok, what the fuck, I'll try....... take a bite........ GOD DAMMIT...... fooled again!!!
Wont get fooled again.
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Cant count the number of times people have said "oh, but mike, this egg salad is DIFFERENT...
You probably need to readjust the horizontal axis on the kitchen furnishings a few times, and speak in a clear and authoritative tone "I do not like egg salad".
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:lol:
I'll remember that next time.
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No offense to one of your fav foods Richard, but I'd rather sew my mouth to my anus for sustenance.
Cant count the number of times people have said "oh, but mike, this egg salad is DIFFERENT, my grandma doesn't make it like anyone else and people all the time that talk just like you end up liking it" so im like , ok, what the fuck, I'll try....... take a bite........ GOD DAMMIT...... fooled again!!!
Wont get fooled again.
Do you realize who you are dealing with? I'm not yer friend's grandma. If I say that I have knowledge in regards to quality egg salad, then I really think you would do good to take my words seriously.
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No offense to one of your fav foods Richard, but I'd rather sew my mouth to my anus for sustenance.
Cant count the number of times people have said "oh, but mike, this egg salad is DIFFERENT, my grandma doesn't make it like anyone else and people all the time that talk just like you end up liking it" so im like , ok, what the fuck, I'll try....... take a bite........ GOD DAMMIT...... fooled again!!!
Wont get fooled again.
Do you realize who you are dealing with? I'm not yer friend's grandma. If I say that I have knowledge in regards to quality egg salad, then I really think you would do good to take my words seriously.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37150WDTI6c&feature=related[/youtube]
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No offense to one of your fav foods Richard, but I'd rather sew my mouth to my anus for sustenance.
Cant count the number of times people have said "oh, but mike, this egg salad is DIFFERENT, my grandma doesn't make it like anyone else and people all the time that talk just like you end up liking it" so im like , ok, what the fuck, I'll try....... take a bite........ GOD DAMMIT...... fooled again!!!
Wont get fooled again.
Probably not sliced correctly. R3 clearly stated: "DO NOT cut the sandwich to make 2 triangles....instead cut it the other way. ", which is likely some obscure Hermetical ruling.
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Make your egg salad. Put it in the fridge for about 3 hours before eating. Alot like the insides of deviled eggs the way I make it. Not bad, and cheap!
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Blargh. An egg chopped up in a salad is alright, and scrambled with hot peppers and sausage is pretty good. But straight egg? No thanks.
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Its not dry egg - it has jalepenos, relish, little mustard, mayonaise, salt, pepper, chopped olives, and whatever else you have on hand.
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the wife made egg salad last week.
smelled like the septic tank dude overturned his truck in my kitchen.
foul
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yea, it does smell nasty.
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Nothing like the smell of sulfur to remind you of :
a) pluff mud
b) bad anal sex
c) septic getting pumped
d) EGG SALAD.
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This is bullshit.
If things are going to continue like this...then I guess I will have to lock the thread.
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A truly vile food. Figures that Pube loves it.
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Hey, pubes. Don't worry about these rubes. While I normally don't touch the stuff, I can appreciate a good egg salad sandwich myself.
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100 bucks says this guy just ate one.
(http://img267.imageshack.us/img267/8743/vomit4519742877rc1.jpg)
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Hey, pubes. Don't worry about these rubes. While I normally don't touch the stuff, I can appreciate a good egg salad sandwich myself.
I'm surprised... I had no idea that egg salad was so hated.
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awriiiittte
i DO love it. on 3+ conditions:
(ol' lady makes it day b4 camping)
1:it is Ett out-of-doors
2:on triscuit crackers (dick-o, you should try this)
3a: must have celery & parsley& lots o' black pepper....i actually dose mine w/ tabasco sauce, too
3b: no-one sees me eat it
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You fuckin faggots should allow your erect dicks to eat a piece of egg salad, ala' Lady and the Tramp.
Tha fuck is smatter with you. I mean, fuck!!
Richard, you go the fuck over there, where egg salad is good.
And Dragline, sup. step over yonder. wherst you came from.
Okay, you dudes okay, where you're at.
Cool.
Lets never speak of this again.
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You fuckin faggots should allow your erect dicks to eat a piece of egg salad, ala' Lady and the Tramp.
Tha fuck is smatter with you. I mean, fuck!!
Richard, you go the fuck over there, where egg salad is good.
And Dragline, sup. step over yonder. wherst you came from.
Okay, you dudes okay, where you're at.
Cool.
Lets never speak of this again.
There's more of us out there than you think, Brasky.
Boner Joe is a food guy and he has yet to make a statement, in regards to egg salad.
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I welcome all.
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With the caveat that egg salad sucks.
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I won't eat egg salad unless I'm certain there aren't any shell flakes in it. I hate shell flakes. Like to the point I puke if I bite into one.
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the wife made egg salad last week.
smelled like the septic tank dude overturned his truck in my kitchen.
foul
Your incompetent wife is overcooking her eggs then.
Let the raw eggs sit on the counter for several days so they'll actually peel. Bring to a boil in a pot of cold water with some salt and vinegar thrown in. Take off heat just after it starts a rolling boil. Let the eggs sit in the pot for 12 minutes to cook. Take eggs out and put into an ice bath to cool them off.
Perfect eggs. No turd odor.
Tell the wife.
You don't want the smell of work in your food.
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Well lookit that.
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It was like woosh, boom.
Jay missile.
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I apolgise for that, feds. There is no Jay missile.
Call me if theres a problem, feds. Not like I'm fuckin goin' anywhere.
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FFFFFFFFTTTTT
Shut it down boys. Its a neg, over.
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Your incompetent wife
great advice.
cept for the dig.
ol' lady would hunt-you-down & put a round in.....if'n i'd showed her this.
be head-waggin' like a negress on the judge judy show...
mumblin' to herseff....
''incompetent????....mmmm-hmmmmmmm....
i'll fuckin' show him incompetent.........''
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I guess you want to eat shitty eggs then.
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au contrair, mah neeg
i'll dispense your advice w/ kid gloves........
git some likker into her & say...''hey, hon.....this bonerfide, reputable chap i encountered & currently have banter with, recommended this ....bla-bla
or....cut to the quik:
i'll just cook off the fucking things as you say, and be done with it.
come out the hep-kitchen-cat
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ur fukin funny:)
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Naw e's whipped. Guards camping fires all night as well. :roll:
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I've always wanted to be "whipped" but it didn't happen.....
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I think I'm a prick-
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Naw e's whipped. Guards camping fires all night as well. :roll:
fuck, dude
she kin be mean
& a WAY better shot than i am (guns)
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Naw e's whipped. Guards camping fires all night as well. :roll:
fuck, dude
she kin be mean
& a WAY better shot than i am (guns)
I've heard that women are naturally better shots than men.
http://newsgroups.derkeiler.com/Archive/Rec/rec.guns/2007-07/msg00906.html
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LFbRyERfbSk[/youtube]
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Damn you Sam Colt for equalizing woman. :x
Thank you gun control freaks for giving us chauvinist our power back.
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Errrrrrk.
Clunk, ching.
Clunk, ching.
Clunk, ching.
Pause.
Clunk, ching.
Clunk, ching.
Clunk, ching.
Pause.
Clunk, ching.
Clunk, ching.
Clunk, ching.
Clunk, ching.
Clunk, ching.
Clunk, ching.
Pause.
Clunk, ching.
Clunk, ching.
Clunk, ching.
Pause.
erkkkk fwump-wump-wump.
Send word if theres any more trouble from the egg salad gang.