The Free Talk Live BBS
Free Talk Live => General => Topic started by: gavino on March 02, 2006, 07:16:09 AM
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On my next day off I think I might walk into my local police station and tell them that I'm concerned that I might inadvertently break a law that I don't know about.
And ask them if they could please give me a written list of all the laws that I must obey-- at least all the local laws, and ask them who I need to ask to get a list of all the state and federal laws that I must obey.
Then I'll ask them (very politely) if I can get them in Braille so my blind friend can read them....
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They have to be required to provide you with something, right? Let us know how it goes.
Then I'll ask them (very politely) if I can get them in Braille so my blind friend can read them....
Bwahahaha!
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Good luck with that. They will probably arrest you for 'definace' or some BS like that :D. Do it anyway though- I'll give you a Liberty Dollar! :D
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Play the "can I do this ?" game. Stand on one foot, walk backwards, chew food with your mouth open, bark like a dog.
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Nice suggestion, Frog.
Maybe I'll start taking my clothes off and ask them to tell me just before I run afoul of the "incecent exposure" statute... ("What if I pull them a little higher into my butt-cheeks, am I indecent now?"). Haven't had a chance to do ANY of this yet...
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Dude what's yoru obsession w/ the measuring chicken thing? Seriously.... ;)
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Man you should really do this and record it.
As far as indecency goes the law around here is that only a person of the opposite sex can file a charge against a naked person. Naked guys are more likely to offend women than naked women are to offend men so you see who is more likely to get charged.
(For the nitpickers a police officer friend of mine at a party told me about this quirk in our laws.) She told me this as it related to a story about this guy who would go to department stores that had female clerks. He would ask about alterations and if the clerk would measure his inseam. He would go into the dressing room get completely naked and tell the clerk he had on the trousers to be measured. She would go into the dressing room and get the full threeway mirror exposure. What was really funny about the story was the guy was a well respected professional.
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Here's my recommendation:
- in permanent marker, write "Free Talk Live" on your ass cheeks
- walk into the thug station
- whip down your pants
- expel a large rubber chicken (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0006NDRCE/freetalklive-20) from your anal cavity.
- when the fuzz inquires about your actions, tell them "I'm using the chicken to measure it"
If I worked my way up to this level of protest, would small baby chickens be the next step, or the previous step ? I can invision both, but I'm really having trouble quantifying the individual actions in a heirarchitypical manner. I might even be making up words to illustrate my confusion. If youve ever seen 2001: space odessy, the oblisk scene, you could see how a lack of articulation and a surplus of confusion might be detrimental to the larger issue.
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On my next day off I think I might walk into my local police station and tell them that I'm concerned that I might inadvertently break a law that I don't know about.
And ask them if they could please give me a written list of all the laws that I must obey-- at least all the local laws, and ask them who I need to ask to get a list of all the state and federal laws that I must obey.
Then I'll ask them (very politely) if I can get them in Braille so my blind friend can read them....
Wow.. brilliant idea. I like the idea of having someone come with you and record it.
If they really are there to "serve and protect", surely they'd provide you with the laws, since you're just trying to be informed as "ignorance is no excuse".
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If they really are there to "serve and protect", surely they'd provide you with the laws, since you're just trying to be informed as "ignorance is no excuse".
Here is a question. Given the volume of laws at the local, state and federal level, how long would it take a person to read - not familiarize but just read - all the laws from the time they reach the age of majority - lets say 18. Now take the average adult reading speed of about 250 words per minute. Figure an eight hour day - say that instead of being involved in productive labour you just read all the laws. That's 120,000 words per day. Figure about 250 work days per year - five days a week, fifty weeks a year (two weeks off for vacation and potential law-breaking). That leaves 30,000,000 words per year.
The average life expectency is about 77, leaving 59 years to do this in. The average federal registry each year is about 65,000 pages(it varies but that's ballpark.) I dont know the wordcount but figuring it at 250 words per page, that is over 16 million words. Now you might think at this point that it almost seems physically possible. But remember that's only the federal government. Also it's not only the current year's laws but all laws from previous years that you have to adhere to. So each year you spend half your time on the current year and half on a previous. After 59 years, this catches you up to not quite 30 years before your birth. All else is physically out of your reach as you are dead.
Conclusion: It is not physically possible to familiarize oneself with all laws and regulations, which means that ignorance, while not an excuse, is certainly a fact. A general principle that goes against physical facts can not be adhered to by any sane individual. Ignorance being no excuse is flatly ridiculous on these grounds.
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Wow.. great post JetlagQ. That's show prep! 8)
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I wonder if you could argue that in court. Of course, obtain copies of all the federal and state laws and reel them in on carts for good effect.
Anyways, you're probably going to get arresed for "harassing" the police at the station. Be prepared for that.
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You could even take that one step further. If, in fact, Ignorance Is No Excuse, the police with arrest powers have determined you are breaking a law, why bother with a trial ? The cops have determined your guilt by arresting you, because they know the law and are the administrators of it. Logically, all arrests are valid by default due to the fact that cops cannot be ignorant of the laws they are sworn to uphold. This makes the entire judicial system useless, with the exception of determining penalty.
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I wonder if you could argue that in court. Of course, obtain copies of all the federal and state laws and reel them in on carts for good effect.
Haul them in on carts? No, more like haul them in on an 18-wheeler.
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You can't bring an 18-wheeler into a courtroom.
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No, but you can convince the judges to come outside for a moment. And I suspect you would need more than one 18-wheeler anyway.
For this sort of demonstration it would come down to either spending a day or two hauling books into the courtroom, or going outside for a few minutes.
Faced with that, I suspect the justices would probably come outside and take a look.
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For this sort of demonstration it would come down to either spending a day or two hauling books into the courtroom, or going outside for a few minutes.
Yes, but this is the whole point.
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Here's a nice one that's still on the books in Massachusetts (http://www.mass.gov/legis/laws/mgl/272-18.htm):
PART IV. CRIMES, PUNISHMENTS AND PROCEEDINGS IN CRIMINAL CASES
TITLE I. CRIMES AND PUNISHMENTS
CHAPTER 272. CRIMES AGAINST CHASTITY, MORALITY, DECENCY AND GOOD ORDER
Chapter 272: Section 18. Fornication
Section 18. Whoever commits fornication shall be punished by imprisonment for not more than three months or by a fine of not more than thirty dollars.
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Gee, I'm sure my representatives NEVER EVER fornicated.
If I really want to get myself in trouble, I'd find a young cop not wearing a wedding ring and ask them "Excuse me, are you married? No? Have you ever had sex? Yes? I'm sorry, I'm going to have to make a citizen's arrest under Chapter 272, section 18 of the Massachussets general laws...."
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Dumb laws are always fun. Here are a few more, from the site http://tjshome.com/dumblaws.php:
In Baltimore, Maryland, it is not legal to take a lion to the movies.
In Oxford, Ohio, it is unlawful for a woman to appear in public while unshaven. This includes legs and face.
In Topeka, Kansas, servers are forbidden to serve wine in teacups.
In the fine state of Nebraska, it is not legal for a tavern owner to serve beer unless a nice kettle of soup is also brewing.
In Riverside, California, kissing on the lips, unless both parties wipe their lips with carbonized rose water, is against the local health ordinance.
In Ocean City New York, It is illegal for men to go topless in the center of town.
An Illinois state law requires that a man's female companion shall call him "master" while out on a date. The law does not apply to married couples.
In Los Angeles, California, it is not legal to bathe two babies at the same time in the same tub.
In Carmel, New York, a man cannot be seen in public while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.
In the grand city of Ottumwa, Iowa, it is illegal for any man, within the corporate city limits, to wink at any female with whom he is "unacquainted."
In Zion, Illinois, it is illegal for anyone to give cats, dogs, or other domesticated animals a lighted cigar.
The site lists many many more.