It seems that certain vocal individuals have an occasional (seemingly random) need to arouse a lynch-mob against me and my purposeful eccentricities, and I will not deny the existence and validity of my emotional response to their efforts: I feel hurt, insulted, and betrayed. Those feelings have resulted in or exacerbated the many mood-swings I've had about the "liberty movement" in the past, but, having had sufficient time to observe and analyze those behavioral patterns, I've come to recognize the need to respond to their criticism constructively - admit wrongdoing and adjust my behavior in any instances where I am wrong, and continue to stand up for myself in the instances where I am right.
To a casual observer my willingness to repeatedly expose myself to such mindless abuse may seem like an advanced stage of masochist derangement, or at least lack of awareness that this is not the only social Web-site of its kind that's available for my contributions. I most certainly could refocus my activities on any number of other sites, or easily start my own, but I believe that I have a number of reasons for continuing to use this forum as my primary base of operations, rational as well as emotive:
- A few less vocal people here from time to time actually do appreciate what I have to say.
- Giving in to bullies often encourages more bullying, and running away only encourages them to find other victims. A culture of ideological isolationism would reduce our movement to tiny groups of people, each boiling in their own juices - that's not what Free Talk Live is about! This BBS can be big and flexible enough to encompass us all!
- I know of plenty of other libertarian sites, but their distance from the FSP community is their disadvantage, and most of them are quite small. With ~320 average posts per day, this is one of the most popular libertarian forums on the Internet. Compare that to other FSP-related forums where the daily average is 84, 47, 27, or [error] posts. Yes, a large fraction of the posts here are pretty stupid, but the amount of valuable content on this forum should not be belittled. The seriousness level of a forum can change over time (and for my part I've been doing everything in my power to help make this forum a better place), but what probably won't change is this forum's size advantage, as FTL continues to pick up new stations and podcasting is becoming more popular every day!
- Anything I post on this forum is quickly spidered by Googlebot and dozens of other major search engines, in addition to the backup efforts by this site's administrators (who presumably understand the value of this content), as well as anyone else who runs remote topic loop scripts through this forum for backup purposes (as I do). Simply venting on a tiny site in a dark corner of the Internet would not achieve this level of content proliferation and search engine exposure, which means it's now a lot more difficult for Big Brother to "disappear" them into the memory hole.
- Just as earth's gravity controls the moon the moon's gravity affects the earth a little bit, and my contributions of content to this forum (including links from other forums) also result in more people coming here, trying the podcast, and perchance adjusting their ideology for their and everyone else's betterment. Posting my rants on a smaller site would reduce their search engine attractiveness, and I doubt any site could ever match the per-visitor ad revenue of the massive sidebar we now have on the right, which I know goes to a cause I agree with. (Or at least I assume it's still there, I have everything AdBlocked.)
- I have a pragmatic side, a nerdy side, a nutty idealistic side, a stupid side, a lewd side, a tangential experimental side, etc - and so does this forum. In fact this forum is the only place where I've been able to express every aspect of my complicated personality -- including some very nasty things -- without being stifled. I appreciate that, and I believe that in time my need for self-expression has become more tame. I don't mind experiencing the same from other people, which I can always simply ignore. The psycho-therapeutic value of this kind of self-expression should not be underestimated!
- My aforementioned "mood swings" have identified a certain technical phenomenon on this forum that has a number of tactical benefits, ranging from trivial to potentially tremendous. I'm talking about "cycling accounts", whereby the old account and all its posts become frozen (perfectly accessible but invulnerable to manipulation if the security of my account was ever compromised), while the new posts continue without a hard legally-recognizable link to the past. Yes, this annoys a few vocal individuals (and usually not the 0-2 people that have me on ignore), but, as I've pointed out numerous times before, this maneuver is much less disruptive than "nick hopping" (which I almost never do except for technical circumstances beyond my control, and never simultaneously or deceitfully). This allows me to use my real name online, but with some level of plausible deniability for any specific post(s) after I've cycled accounts.
- Another reason to keep using this forum is simple inertia - I have many threads of thought here, and I can revive them whenever I feel the need. (Some people don't like "necroing", but most don't mind, and I've never heard a rational argument against it.) Furthermore, I have a lot of sentimental attachment to this forum. FTL was a major influence that helped finally resolve my political and philosophical confusion (Bush derangement syndrome?) several years ago, and started me on the challenging but nonetheless rightful path I am on today. I used this forum the day my father died... the day I quit my job, the day I got rid of my car, the days I had to spend living in cheap motel rooms, the days when I've experienced some very vile addictions, and so on. I know saying this is contrary to the strategically-beneficial aura of emotional invulnerability that most people try to project, but this forum is a significant part of my life, and I value it dearly.
So, well - I wuv ya guys, and you ain't getting rid of me that easy!