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Laetitia

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Re: The Question Thread
« Reply #1440 on: November 19, 2011, 10:13:07 AM »


You've cleverly disguised your tardis as a refrigerator.


Like the tardis, it's bigger on the inside, which is a good thing right now. The stockpiling for the annual turkeyfest has begun.
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Diogenes The Cynic

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Re: The Question Thread
« Reply #1441 on: November 27, 2011, 11:05:05 PM »

When high school football players pray before their game together, what are they praying for?

If they pray to win, aren't they also then praying for the other side to lose? Isn't the other side also praying going to counteract them?

How do they think this will work?

Do they pray for a good time for all? Has anyone ever done this?
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Turd Ferguson

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Re: The Question Thread
« Reply #1442 on: November 27, 2011, 11:21:10 PM »

If they pray to win, aren't they also then praying for the other side to lose? Isn't the other side also praying going to counteract them?

Im fairly certain it works like this....

God gets the call that theres prayer going on down on the field, he then does a background check of each player on each team, stuff like: whos masturbated the most, whos cheated on tests, finger f-ed the most girls......ya know, basic HS shenanigans. Then, he takes this info and averages it all out (in his head, mind you.....he's god) and the team with the lowest number of transgressions gets the gawd power put into them for a couple of hours and the team with the most transgressions gets stuff like broken knee-caps, pulled muscles, sprained ankles, fumble-fingers,  etc etc.

Baseball? God hates baseball, so when both teams pray, he just laughs and does nothing.


Thats pretty much how it works.

I went to Catholic school until 6th grade...... I know what im talking about here.
« Last Edit: November 27, 2011, 11:25:01 PM by quickmike »
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Cognitive Dissident

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Re: The Question Thread
« Reply #1443 on: November 28, 2011, 05:36:17 PM »

When high school football players pray before their game together, what are they praying for?

If they pray to win, aren't they also then praying for the other side to lose? Isn't the other side also praying going to counteract them?

How do they think this will work?

Do they pray for a good time for all? Has anyone ever done this?

If I recall correctly, they pray for strength, courage, and help to be good and faithful representatives of Christ in their contest.  At least that's the gist of what I remember from Lutheran school.

However, I wouldn't put it past the Catholics....

 :lol: (jk)
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Turd Ferguson

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Re: The Question Thread
« Reply #1444 on: November 28, 2011, 06:36:43 PM »


However, I wouldn't put it past the Catholics....

 :lol: (jk)

I'll pit my Penguins (Catholic nuns) against your Lutheran priests in a cage match anyday!
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Laetitia

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Re: The Question Thread
« Reply #1445 on: December 05, 2011, 08:36:54 PM »

If lego mini figs were to kidnap and hold a worker elf hostage, what would the ransom demands be?

"Buy More Legos" is the obvious choice, but I'm looking for more.
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Diogenes The Cynic

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Re: The Question Thread
« Reply #1446 on: December 05, 2011, 10:21:34 PM »

If lego mini figs were to kidnap and hold a worker elf hostage, what would the ransom demands be?

"Buy More Legos" is the obvious choice, but I'm looking for more.


A Lego helicopter to take them away?

The release of political Legos? I don't know how to form that into a joke.
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Laetitia

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Re: The Question Thread
« Reply #1447 on: December 05, 2011, 10:37:19 PM »

A Lego helicopter to take them away?

The release of political Legos? I don't know how to form that into a joke.

I'm not sure how to use the political lego prisoner thing, but I do like the lego escape vehicle!
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Turd Ferguson

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Re: The Question Thread
« Reply #1448 on: December 08, 2011, 10:24:23 PM »

Why do they make toasters with a number setting of 8 that burns anything you put in it into ash? Nobody could eat something cooked at 8 on a toaster.


Who uses this setting?

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SeanD

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Re: The Question Thread
« Reply #1449 on: December 09, 2011, 12:02:54 AM »

If lego mini figs were to kidnap and hold a worker elf hostage, what would the ransom demands be?

"Buy More Legos" is the obvious choice, but I'm looking for more.

The answer is obvious.  Hookers and blow.  But since they are Lego's you can MAKE the hookers and it won't take much blow.
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BadQuakerBen

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Re: The Question Thread
« Reply #1450 on: December 09, 2011, 06:00:16 PM »

Why do they make toasters with a number setting of 8 that burns anything you put in it into ash? Nobody could eat something cooked at 8 on a toaster.


Who uses this setting?


My toaster goes to 11.
 :D
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Laetitia

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Re: The Question Thread
« Reply #1451 on: December 09, 2011, 08:44:41 PM »

If lego mini figs were to kidnap and hold a worker elf hostage, what would the ransom demands be?

"Buy More Legos" is the obvious choice, but I'm looking for more.

The answer is obvious.  Hookers and blow.  But since they are Lego's you can MAKE the hookers and it won't take much blow.
:lol: :lol: :lol:

On a more serious note, I saw the following question posed today during my run:
What is pure religion?

It was on the sign outside a church of christ, and it annoyed the heck out of me.
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SeanD

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Re: The Question Thread
« Reply #1452 on: December 09, 2011, 10:45:25 PM »

If lego mini figs were to kidnap and hold a worker elf hostage, what would the ransom demands be?

"Buy More Legos" is the obvious choice, but I'm looking for more.

The answer is obvious.  Hookers and blow.  But since they are Lego's you can MAKE the hookers and it won't take much blow.
:lol: :lol: :lol:

On a more serious note, I saw the following question posed today during my run:
What is pure religion?

It was on the sign outside a church of christ, and it annoyed the heck out of me.

Religion either unmoderated by or in concert with the secular government.

Think Shi'aria Law.
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Laetitia

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Re: The Question Thread
« Reply #1453 on: December 09, 2011, 11:34:13 PM »

Religion either unmoderated by or in concert with the secular government.

Think Shi'aria Law.

Not even that is "pure". Religion, based on a perfect deity (or deities), is still man's interpretation of the divine.
Man is imperfect, so religion cannot be pure.
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Turd Ferguson

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Re: The Question Thread
« Reply #1454 on: December 10, 2011, 11:17:22 AM »

Why do they make toasters with a number setting of 8 that burns anything you put in it into ash? Nobody could eat something cooked at 8 on a toaster.


Who uses this setting?


My toaster goes to 11.
 :D


If 8 burns it to a crisp, 11 would send your shit back in time.
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