My question is now how to avoid killing my boyfriend's brother. He lives with us because he's 36 and completely lacking in any concept of responsibility.
Poked his head in the room and said "Hey, you guys know how to lose weight? Poverty. I've lost like 20 pounds over the last six months or so."
No, dumbshit, you did not lose 20 pounds due to "poverty." You're broke, yes-- because you can't be bothered to get anything better than a part time job that pays $10 an hour, you've got debt all over the place, and you spend all of your earnings on pot. But Boyfriend has been buying more than enough groceries for all of us (yes, I contribute). That kitchen is always full of food. It's not that he's "poor," it's that nobody prepares his meals for him.
Broke? Yes-- self-inflicted. Poverty-stricken? No, you fucking ungrateful dickhead.
It's like living with a perpetual teenager. I kind of wonder if he's retarded.
He hasn't been run through the meat-grinder yet. People are propping him up like the Weekend At Bernies guy. As you're aware, this is 'enabling' in the parlance of the head-shrinky types. Some people don't learn 'til they hit the jagged rock-bottom. From what you've already mentioned, I can sympathize with a few months of being adrift on his part, lots of people take a temporary flake-out after their life fucks up. But eventually, they're supposed to do the 'ol pick-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps thing, wipe off the dust from the implosion, do a line off a hookers ass, realize thats destructive, balance their checkbook, buy some new underwear, stop sleeping past noon, pay their car insurance, get an apartment that isn't a piece of shit, date a chick that isn't an asshole, get dumped by her, say fuckit, and repeat the process until success isn't accidental.
And he's not gonna because its too easy to shuffle around like a schmuck and make excuses.