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Author Topic: Stories of retail hell...  (Read 36846 times)

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Riddler

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #15 on: October 14, 2008, 08:34:22 PM »

Story Two:
At my last job at Hastings, we were close to closing one night when I get a phone call from someone who apparently wanted to know if we had everything on her Christmas list.

Me: (after checking about 25 items) Yes ma'am, we have that, anything else I can search up for you?
Stupid Woman: No, that's all. I need you to gather all these up for me and leave them at the front, I'll be there in the morning.
Me: (disbelieving) I'm sorry, we just can't do that. We just don't have that kind of time.
SW: But you all hold items all the time!
Me: Yes ma'am, we do, but it's always one or two items, not two dozen. And not two days before Christmas.
SW: But I live in GENESSEE!! (Note: Genessee is all of thirteen miles from Moscow)
Me: I'm sorry ma'am, you'll have to come in tomorrow, we can help you find them then.
SW: IF YOU SELL OUT OF ANY OF THESE ITEMS YOU'LL BE RUINING A CHILD'S CHRISTMAS!!! *hangs up*

Customers frequently use that line on me.  It might work on some people, but I by and large loathe children.





what?
are you in russia?

3     -    2      -     1  ..........................
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Lindsey

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #16 on: October 14, 2008, 09:55:17 PM »

Asshat informs me that he's waited "20 minutes" (It had been two or three minutes since the page for assistance) to have someone retrieve a trashcan "from the goddamn shelf, why do you stupid fuckers put shit up there if you won't get them down?"

The world would be a better place if any and all customer service people who get cursed at by customers had the right to shoot said customers with a paintball gun. 

"Excuse me.....what did you say?  Stupid fuckers?"
*BLAM*
"Oh, oops.....did that hit your your left testicle?  So sorry about that."
*BLAM* *BLAM*
"Man, this thing just keeps going off!  I just can't seem to control it."
*BLAM* *BLAM* *BLAM*
"Oh, you're going now?  Alrighty then.  Well, have a nice day!"


I actually explain logic to some of the stupid ones.  They ask me where something is, I tell them they need to use the directory to find it, or that there are plenty of huge signs that will direct you to all anchor stores, restrooms, customer service, etc.  I guess the damn directory is color coded with letters and numbers too, so a lot of them come up and go "WHERE'S K?" and I honestly have not the slightest idea.  And I tell them I don't know, and that they'll have to actually look at where they're standing and look at what direction where they want to go is, and use their sensibilities. 
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hellbilly

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #17 on: October 14, 2008, 11:14:56 PM »

It's been a long time since I was in retail.. the only place I worked at really was a picture framing place. No run ins with customers outside the norm.. "There's a teeny spec of lint on the mat!"

But one time a fellow (senior) employee and I got into an argument, and eventually she called in for backup (management). A customer had brought in a large original painting.. one from one of those guys who paints on stage to music and completes the portrait in about 60 seconds by splattering paint on the canvas and rubbing it around with their hands, or with a brush in each hand and one in the mouth.. that sort of abstract perfection. It was a portrait of Jimi Hendrix, vertical. I saw that it was framed up and waiting for delivery, but it was lying horizontally with the hanging wire in that orientation. So I mentioned the error and the lady flipped that I had accused her of making a mistake. Management was called in and I was told it was clearly an "abstract landscape painting"!

So I tipped it over and pointed to the nose, the red bandanna and the guitar.
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Lindsey

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #18 on: October 14, 2008, 11:17:27 PM »

You know, I'm at a loss right now.  I have plenty of idiot customers, but anything outstandingly awful is just not registering with me right now.  Most of the time it's just some jackass that lies.  I hear "OH I JUST TOOK THEM RIGHT OUT OF THE CASE AND THEY CRACKED IN HALF" all the fucking time.  It's horrendous.  And almost impossible. 
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Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
         -George W. Bush

freeAgent

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #19 on: October 14, 2008, 11:26:18 PM »

I hated retail for the 7 months or so that I worked at Circuit City.  I would have loved it if the management didn't care more about trying to push the "City Advantage" protection plans than they did about customer satisfaction.  Almost everyone I helped genuinely thanked me, but all the managers cared about was pushing the add-on warranty and accessory bundle crap.  Sure, if I think it would be useful or helpful for someone I would suggest it...and I would bring it up to those who I didn't think needed it in order to stay in line with store policy.  But, I refused to push crap on people and try to take advantage of them.  In my opinion, you should expect help from sales people, not deception and pushy sales.  Unfortunately, most of the retail world disagrees.  That's why I do all the shopping I can online.  It's cheaper and I can avoid the "helpful" sales people.
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Lindsey

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #20 on: October 14, 2008, 11:32:57 PM »

My friend Zach works at Circuit City now.  I am definitely not satisfied with my customer service experiences there.  Every time I go in, every motherfucker in the place ignores me.  And it's not like I look like a homeless person, because I know sales people make snap judgements.  I'm well-dressed, and I have really expensive sunglasses and really expensive purses.  I should be a magnet for these people.  But usually I don't know where to find what it is I'm looking for, and I do need help.  But they CONSTANTLY ignore me and scuttle about. 

When I bought my desktop, I had  to YELL to get one of them to even look up.  I came knowing they had the model in stock, and knowing that I wanted it.  I told the kid up front to NOT even open his fat mouth about the warranty bullshit.  Did he listen?  No.  Of course not.  I paid in cash.  He counted it wrong.  THRICE.  My mother, myself, and Stephanie counted it in front of him and laid all of the bills on the counter (hundreds, mind you - so there were only like eight to count...NOT HARD).  And he still failed until the third time he counted it himself.  I made sure to mention that he was a waste of carbon before I left. 
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Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
         -George W. Bush

Russell Griswold

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #21 on: October 14, 2008, 11:51:44 PM »

You know, I'm at a loss right now.  I have plenty of idiot customers, but anything outstandingly awful is just not registering with me right now.  Most of the time it's just some jackass that lies.  I hear "OH I JUST TOOK THEM RIGHT OUT OF THE CASE AND THEY CRACKED IN HALF" all the fucking time.  It's horrendous.  And almost impossible. 

Well, they cracked because they were made out of Plutonite®.  :lol:
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freeAgent

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #22 on: October 14, 2008, 11:52:30 PM »

Yeah...the last time I was in a Best Buy (only there because I needed something ASAP) I stood around trying to get the attention of anyone possible for about 15 minutes before anyone seemed to deem me worthy of being helped.  I knew exactly what I wanted and only needed them to get it out of a locked cage for me.  That was it.  Why didn't I get helped?  Well, one reason was that I was no an attractive female.  There seemed to be enough of them around to occupy a few of the sales reps for quite some time.  Another reason was probably that I'm fairly young and could probably be mistaken for a high school or college student (especially when wearing jeans and a t-shirt) who has no money to spend.
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BonerJoe

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #23 on: October 14, 2008, 11:55:07 PM »

Yeah...the last time I was in a Best Buy (only there because I needed something ASAP) I stood around trying to get the attention of anyone possible for about 15 minutes before anyone seemed to deem me worthy of being helped.  I knew exactly what I wanted and only needed them to get it out of a locked cage for me.  That was it.  Why didn't I get helped?  Well, one reason was that I was no an attractive female.  There seemed to be enough of them around to occupy a few of the sales reps for quite some time.  Another reason was probably that I'm fairly young and could probably be mistaken for a high school or college student (especially when wearing jeans and a t-shirt) who has no money to spend.

Yeah, it took like 10 minutes for someone in the Sears TV department to help me. I guess being fat and wearing cheap cotton shorts and sandals doesn't say "I WANT TO BUY A PLASMA NOW!".
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Lindsey

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #24 on: October 14, 2008, 11:57:45 PM »

Yeah...the last time I was in a Best Buy (only there because I needed something ASAP) I stood around trying to get the attention of anyone possible for about 15 minutes before anyone seemed to deem me worthy of being helped.  I knew exactly what I wanted and only needed them to get it out of a locked cage for me.  That was it.  Why didn't I get helped?  Well, one reason was that I was no an attractive female.  There seemed to be enough of them around to occupy a few of the sales reps for quite some time.  Another reason was probably that I'm fairly young and could probably be mistaken for a high school or college student (especially when wearing jeans and a t-shirt) who has no money to spend.

Hmm.  I think you've got something on the attractive female theory.  Then again, everybody finds a little something different to be attractive.   :shock:
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Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
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YixilTesiphon

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #25 on: October 14, 2008, 11:58:50 PM »

My dad and I couldn't get help in a Micro Center for at least 15 minutes when we were buying a computer for my mom this summer. He's upper-50s, well-dressed, white...no reason they wouldn't want to talk to him.
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Lindsey

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #26 on: October 14, 2008, 11:59:41 PM »

My dad and I couldn't get help in a Micro Center for at least 15 minutes when we were buying a computer for my mom this summer. He's upper-50s, well-dressed, white...no reason they wouldn't want to talk to him.

And rich.  Don't forget rich. 
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Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
         -George W. Bush

Russell Griswold

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #27 on: October 15, 2008, 12:05:25 AM »

Yeah...the last time I was in a Best Buy (only there because I needed something ASAP) I stood around trying to get the attention of anyone possible for about 15 minutes before anyone seemed to deem me worthy of being helped.  I knew exactly what I wanted and only needed them to get it out of a locked cage for me.  That was it.  Why didn't I get helped?  Well, one reason was that I was no an attractive female.  There seemed to be enough of them around to occupy a few of the sales reps for quite some time.  Another reason was probably that I'm fairly young and could probably be mistaken for a high school or college student (especially when wearing jeans and a t-shirt) who has no money to spend.

Did you go to the ghetto Best Buy near 87th street?
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Russell Griswold

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #28 on: October 15, 2008, 12:07:10 AM »

Whenever I shop, I always look around like I'm stealing shit. I get the best service every time.  8)
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freeAgent

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #29 on: October 15, 2008, 12:15:48 AM »

Yeah...the last time I was in a Best Buy (only there because I needed something ASAP) I stood around trying to get the attention of anyone possible for about 15 minutes before anyone seemed to deem me worthy of being helped.  I knew exactly what I wanted and only needed them to get it out of a locked cage for me.  That was it.  Why didn't I get helped?  Well, one reason was that I was no an attractive female.  There seemed to be enough of them around to occupy a few of the sales reps for quite some time.  Another reason was probably that I'm fairly young and could probably be mistaken for a high school or college student (especially when wearing jeans and a t-shirt) who has no money to spend.

Did you go to the ghetto Best Buy near 87th street?

No, this was in Lincoln Park.  That's why compared to everyone else I looked like a hobo.
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