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Free Talk Live => General => Topic started by: Elitist Bitch on October 14, 2008, 08:03:18 AM

Title: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Elitist Bitch on October 14, 2008, 08:03:18 AM
So, I don't know if Lindsey and I are the only people on this BBS currently working retail, but I wanted to start a thread to swap a few retail/service stories.  So, me first.  

This happened just last night.  I was jubilant as I've been promoted out of the "pit" (AKA the sales floor) into the pharmacy.  ( Just found out, as a matter of fact.) So anyway, there's a call for a spill cleanup.  There's no maintenance person on today so I head out to clean up the mess (a 96-load box of laundry detergent spilled all over the aisle).  No biggie, I've cleaned up worse. So I'm plugging along, have signs on both sides of the aisle since it's a slip hazard, and some asshat steps around my sign and DEMANDS that I get a trashcan from the top shelf in Christmas.  We keep shit up there that's stocked in the home because our magical, mythical "Back Room" only holds so much shit and the shelves are high up enough that it requires a ladder to retrieve the merchandise. The company term is "risers".  So, I tell him that per company policy I'm not allowed to leave the site of a spill and I would be happy to assist him once I cleaned up the mess. Asshat informs me that he's waited "20 minutes" (It had been two or three minutes since the page for assistance) to have someone retrieve a trashcan "from the goddamn shelf, why do you stupid fuckers put shit up there if you won't get them down?" I threw my broom down (literally) and stomped to the risers, and about killed myself getting the ladder open, (the ladder is a 9-footer and I'm tiny) and as I retrieve the trashcan I inform Asshat that the trash cans are in Housewares and the reason these were up here were because we had so many. He sputters and says he'll just go over there, and I said, "Oh, that's fine, since you were so insistent, here's your trash can.  If you're dissatisfied with the number of associates you can find on the floor, I suggest you take it up with the store manager instead of swearing at me. He has much more power to fix it than I."
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 14, 2008, 08:30:28 AM
So, I don't know if Lindsey and I are the only people on this BBS currently working retail, but I wanted to start a thread to swap a few retail/service stories.  So, me first. 

This happened just last night.  I was jubilant as I've been promoted out of the "pit" (AKA the sales floor) into the pharmacy.  ( Just found out, as a matter of fact.) So anyway, there's a call for a spill cleanup.  There's no maintenance person on today so I head out to clean up the mess (a 96-load box of laundry detergent spilled all over the aisle).  No biggie, I've cleaned up worse. So I'm plugging along, have signs on both sides of the aisle since it's a slip hazard, and some asshat steps around my sign and DEMANDS that I get a trashcan from the top shelf in Christmas.  We keep shit up there that's stocked in the home because our magical, mythical "Back Room" only holds so much shit and the shelves are high up enough that it requires a ladder to retrieve the merchandise. The company term is "risers".  So, I tell him that per company policy I'm not allowed to leave the site of a spill and I would be happy to assist him once I cleaned up the mess. Asshat informs me that he's waited "20 minutes" (It had been two or three minutes since the page for assistance) to have someone retrieve a trashcan "from the goddamn shelf, why do you stupid fuckers put shit up there if you won't get them down?" I threw my broom down (literally) and stomped to the risers, and about killed myself getting the ladder open, (the ladder is a 9-footer and I'm tiny) and as I retrieve the trashcan I inform Asshat that the trash cans are in Housewares and the reason these were up here were because we had so many. He sputters and says he'll just go over there, and I said, "Oh, that's fine, since you were so insistent, here's your trash can.  If you're dissatisfied with the number of associates you can find on the floor, I suggest you take it up with the store manager instead of swearing at me. He has much more power to fix it than I."

Holy shit.  You work in the pharmacy now?  Could you tell me Wal-Mart's price for a certain medication?  I'm trying to shop around for this one because the doctor says it's expensive, and most insurance won't cover it. 

I have plenty of stories...but I'm in a hurry so I'll share some later. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Elitist Bitch on October 14, 2008, 08:37:04 AM
Yeah.  Can you let me know the name? (Shoot me a PM or IM if you want.) And let me know if a generic's cool. I don't know if the pharmacy's prices are the same nationally but it should give you a ballpark.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 14, 2008, 08:43:01 AM
Yeah.  Can you let me know the name? (Shoot me a PM or IM if you want.) And let me know if a generic's cool. I don't know if the pharmacy's prices are the same nationally but it should give you a ballpark.

Meridia.  And I don't think the patent has expired yet, so I'm relatively sure there isn't a generic.  I'm not 100% on that one.  30-day supply of the 10mg.  Thank you.   :)

Edit:  Oh man, they're gonna think she has an eating disorder or something 'cause she's so skinny when she asks about this at work.   :lol:
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Elitist Bitch on October 14, 2008, 08:54:26 AM
I'll check it out and let you know. :)
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 14, 2008, 08:57:00 AM
I'll check it out and let you know. :)

Thanks.  Just make sure they know you're not taking it, or someone might get alarmed.   :lol:
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: BonerJoe on October 14, 2008, 08:59:06 AM
EXECUTE!
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Elitist Bitch on October 14, 2008, 09:00:00 AM
Haha, I've heard of Meridia, don't worry, I'll make it clear haha. Plus I don't think a doctor alive would prescribe it to me.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Elitist Bitch on October 14, 2008, 10:05:15 AM
Story Two:
At my last job at Hastings, we were close to closing one night when I get a phone call from someone who apparently wanted to know if we had everything on her Christmas list.

Me: (after checking about 25 items) Yes ma'am, we have that, anything else I can search up for you?
Stupid Woman: No, that's all. I need you to gather all these up for me and leave them at the front, I'll be there in the morning.
Me: (disbelieving) I'm sorry, we just can't do that. We just don't have that kind of time.
SW: But you all hold items all the time!
Me: Yes ma'am, we do, but it's always one or two items, not two dozen. And not two days before Christmas.
SW: But I live in GENESSEE!! (Note: Genessee is all of thirteen miles from Moscow)
Me: I'm sorry ma'am, you'll have to come in tomorrow, we can help you find them then.
SW: IF YOU SELL OUT OF ANY OF THESE ITEMS YOU'LL BE RUINING A CHILD'S CHRISTMAS!!! *hangs up*

Customers frequently use that line on me.  It might work on some people, but I by and large loathe children.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: BonerJoe on October 14, 2008, 10:33:37 AM
Customers frequently use that line on me.  It might work on some people, but I by and large loathe children.

I get it every year. "I ordered this on the 21st of December by slow ass shipping, and it wasn't here by Christmas. You made my child cry!"
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Elitist Bitch on October 14, 2008, 10:40:51 AM
People just don't seem to understand that caring is way out of my pay grade. If you're nice, I'll help you and even go out of my way a bit, but if you're an asshole, fuck you. I mean, I work for Wal-Mart. Not really too high class there.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Riddler on October 14, 2008, 07:02:27 PM
lindsey wasn't 'in a hurry'.
bitch had time ta post 3 times in 24 minutes +/-
you're a liar, princess....you just don't have any good stories.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 14, 2008, 07:18:23 PM
Oh shut the f up.  I was putting on my makeup before I left for work, plus I was late.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Riddler on October 14, 2008, 07:20:01 PM
Oh shut the f up.  I was putting on my makeup before I left for work, plus I was late.



i love it when you're angry
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Rillion on October 14, 2008, 07:26:00 PM
Asshat informs me that he's waited "20 minutes" (It had been two or three minutes since the page for assistance) to have someone retrieve a trashcan "from the goddamn shelf, why do you stupid fuckers put shit up there if you won't get them down?"

The world would be a better place if any and all customer service people who get cursed at by customers had the right to shoot said customers with a paintball gun. 

"Excuse me.....what did you say?  Stupid fuckers?"
*BLAM*
"Oh, oops.....did that hit your your left testicle?  So sorry about that."
*BLAM* *BLAM*
"Man, this thing just keeps going off!  I just can't seem to control it."
*BLAM* *BLAM* *BLAM*
"Oh, you're going now?  Alrighty then.  Well, have a nice day!"
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Riddler on October 14, 2008, 08:34:22 PM
Story Two:
At my last job at Hastings, we were close to closing one night when I get a phone call from someone who apparently wanted to know if we had everything on her Christmas list.

Me: (after checking about 25 items) Yes ma'am, we have that, anything else I can search up for you?
Stupid Woman: No, that's all. I need you to gather all these up for me and leave them at the front, I'll be there in the morning.
Me: (disbelieving) I'm sorry, we just can't do that. We just don't have that kind of time.
SW: But you all hold items all the time!
Me: Yes ma'am, we do, but it's always one or two items, not two dozen. And not two days before Christmas.
SW: But I live in GENESSEE!! (Note: Genessee is all of thirteen miles from Moscow)
Me: I'm sorry ma'am, you'll have to come in tomorrow, we can help you find them then.
SW: IF YOU SELL OUT OF ANY OF THESE ITEMS YOU'LL BE RUINING A CHILD'S CHRISTMAS!!! *hangs up*

Customers frequently use that line on me.  It might work on some people, but I by and large loathe children.





what?
are you in russia?

3     -    2      -     1  ..........................
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 14, 2008, 09:55:17 PM
Asshat informs me that he's waited "20 minutes" (It had been two or three minutes since the page for assistance) to have someone retrieve a trashcan "from the goddamn shelf, why do you stupid fuckers put shit up there if you won't get them down?"

The world would be a better place if any and all customer service people who get cursed at by customers had the right to shoot said customers with a paintball gun. 

"Excuse me.....what did you say?  Stupid fuckers?"
*BLAM*
"Oh, oops.....did that hit your your left testicle?  So sorry about that."
*BLAM* *BLAM*
"Man, this thing just keeps going off!  I just can't seem to control it."
*BLAM* *BLAM* *BLAM*
"Oh, you're going now?  Alrighty then.  Well, have a nice day!"


I actually explain logic to some of the stupid ones.  They ask me where something is, I tell them they need to use the directory to find it, or that there are plenty of huge signs that will direct you to all anchor stores, restrooms, customer service, etc.  I guess the damn directory is color coded with letters and numbers too, so a lot of them come up and go "WHERE'S K?" and I honestly have not the slightest idea.  And I tell them I don't know, and that they'll have to actually look at where they're standing and look at what direction where they want to go is, and use their sensibilities. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: hellbilly on October 14, 2008, 11:14:56 PM
It's been a long time since I was in retail.. the only place I worked at really was a picture framing place. No run ins with customers outside the norm.. "There's a teeny spec of lint on the mat!"

But one time a fellow (senior) employee and I got into an argument, and eventually she called in for backup (management). A customer had brought in a large original painting.. one from one of those guys who paints on stage to music and completes the portrait in about 60 seconds by splattering paint on the canvas and rubbing it around with their hands, or with a brush in each hand and one in the mouth.. that sort of abstract perfection. It was a portrait of Jimi Hendrix, vertical. I saw that it was framed up and waiting for delivery, but it was lying horizontally with the hanging wire in that orientation. So I mentioned the error and the lady flipped that I had accused her of making a mistake. Management was called in and I was told it was clearly an "abstract landscape painting"!

So I tipped it over and pointed to the nose, the red bandanna and the guitar.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 14, 2008, 11:17:27 PM
You know, I'm at a loss right now.  I have plenty of idiot customers, but anything outstandingly awful is just not registering with me right now.  Most of the time it's just some jackass that lies.  I hear "OH I JUST TOOK THEM RIGHT OUT OF THE CASE AND THEY CRACKED IN HALF" all the fucking time.  It's horrendous.  And almost impossible. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: freeAgent on October 14, 2008, 11:26:18 PM
I hated retail for the 7 months or so that I worked at Circuit City.  I would have loved it if the management didn't care more about trying to push the "City Advantage" protection plans than they did about customer satisfaction.  Almost everyone I helped genuinely thanked me, but all the managers cared about was pushing the add-on warranty and accessory bundle crap.  Sure, if I think it would be useful or helpful for someone I would suggest it...and I would bring it up to those who I didn't think needed it in order to stay in line with store policy.  But, I refused to push crap on people and try to take advantage of them.  In my opinion, you should expect help from sales people, not deception and pushy sales.  Unfortunately, most of the retail world disagrees.  That's why I do all the shopping I can online.  It's cheaper and I can avoid the "helpful" sales people.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 14, 2008, 11:32:57 PM
My friend Zach works at Circuit City now.  I am definitely not satisfied with my customer service experiences there.  Every time I go in, every motherfucker in the place ignores me.  And it's not like I look like a homeless person, because I know sales people make snap judgements.  I'm well-dressed, and I have really expensive sunglasses and really expensive purses.  I should be a magnet for these people.  But usually I don't know where to find what it is I'm looking for, and I do need help.  But they CONSTANTLY ignore me and scuttle about. 

When I bought my desktop, I had  to YELL to get one of them to even look up.  I came knowing they had the model in stock, and knowing that I wanted it.  I told the kid up front to NOT even open his fat mouth about the warranty bullshit.  Did he listen?  No.  Of course not.  I paid in cash.  He counted it wrong.  THRICE.  My mother, myself, and Stephanie counted it in front of him and laid all of the bills on the counter (hundreds, mind you - so there were only like eight to count...NOT HARD).  And he still failed until the third time he counted it himself.  I made sure to mention that he was a waste of carbon before I left. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Russell Griswold on October 14, 2008, 11:51:44 PM
You know, I'm at a loss right now.  I have plenty of idiot customers, but anything outstandingly awful is just not registering with me right now.  Most of the time it's just some jackass that lies.  I hear "OH I JUST TOOK THEM RIGHT OUT OF THE CASE AND THEY CRACKED IN HALF" all the fucking time.  It's horrendous.  And almost impossible. 

Well, they cracked because they were made out of PlutoniteŽ.  :lol:
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: freeAgent on October 14, 2008, 11:52:30 PM
Yeah...the last time I was in a Best Buy (only there because I needed something ASAP) I stood around trying to get the attention of anyone possible for about 15 minutes before anyone seemed to deem me worthy of being helped.  I knew exactly what I wanted and only needed them to get it out of a locked cage for me.  That was it.  Why didn't I get helped?  Well, one reason was that I was no an attractive female.  There seemed to be enough of them around to occupy a few of the sales reps for quite some time.  Another reason was probably that I'm fairly young and could probably be mistaken for a high school or college student (especially when wearing jeans and a t-shirt) who has no money to spend.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: BonerJoe on October 14, 2008, 11:55:07 PM
Yeah...the last time I was in a Best Buy (only there because I needed something ASAP) I stood around trying to get the attention of anyone possible for about 15 minutes before anyone seemed to deem me worthy of being helped.  I knew exactly what I wanted and only needed them to get it out of a locked cage for me.  That was it.  Why didn't I get helped?  Well, one reason was that I was no an attractive female.  There seemed to be enough of them around to occupy a few of the sales reps for quite some time.  Another reason was probably that I'm fairly young and could probably be mistaken for a high school or college student (especially when wearing jeans and a t-shirt) who has no money to spend.

Yeah, it took like 10 minutes for someone in the Sears TV department to help me. I guess being fat and wearing cheap cotton shorts and sandals doesn't say "I WANT TO BUY A PLASMA NOW!".
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 14, 2008, 11:57:45 PM
Yeah...the last time I was in a Best Buy (only there because I needed something ASAP) I stood around trying to get the attention of anyone possible for about 15 minutes before anyone seemed to deem me worthy of being helped.  I knew exactly what I wanted and only needed them to get it out of a locked cage for me.  That was it.  Why didn't I get helped?  Well, one reason was that I was no an attractive female.  There seemed to be enough of them around to occupy a few of the sales reps for quite some time.  Another reason was probably that I'm fairly young and could probably be mistaken for a high school or college student (especially when wearing jeans and a t-shirt) who has no money to spend.

Hmm.  I think you've got something on the attractive female theory.  Then again, everybody finds a little something different to be attractive.   :shock:
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: YixilTesiphon on October 14, 2008, 11:58:50 PM
My dad and I couldn't get help in a Micro Center for at least 15 minutes when we were buying a computer for my mom this summer. He's upper-50s, well-dressed, white...no reason they wouldn't want to talk to him.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 14, 2008, 11:59:41 PM
My dad and I couldn't get help in a Micro Center for at least 15 minutes when we were buying a computer for my mom this summer. He's upper-50s, well-dressed, white...no reason they wouldn't want to talk to him.

And rich.  Don't forget rich. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Russell Griswold on October 15, 2008, 12:05:25 AM
Yeah...the last time I was in a Best Buy (only there because I needed something ASAP) I stood around trying to get the attention of anyone possible for about 15 minutes before anyone seemed to deem me worthy of being helped.  I knew exactly what I wanted and only needed them to get it out of a locked cage for me.  That was it.  Why didn't I get helped?  Well, one reason was that I was no an attractive female.  There seemed to be enough of them around to occupy a few of the sales reps for quite some time.  Another reason was probably that I'm fairly young and could probably be mistaken for a high school or college student (especially when wearing jeans and a t-shirt) who has no money to spend.

Did you go to the ghetto Best Buy near 87th street?
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Russell Griswold on October 15, 2008, 12:07:10 AM
Whenever I shop, I always look around like I'm stealing shit. I get the best service every time.  8)
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: freeAgent on October 15, 2008, 12:15:48 AM
Yeah...the last time I was in a Best Buy (only there because I needed something ASAP) I stood around trying to get the attention of anyone possible for about 15 minutes before anyone seemed to deem me worthy of being helped.  I knew exactly what I wanted and only needed them to get it out of a locked cage for me.  That was it.  Why didn't I get helped?  Well, one reason was that I was no an attractive female.  There seemed to be enough of them around to occupy a few of the sales reps for quite some time.  Another reason was probably that I'm fairly young and could probably be mistaken for a high school or college student (especially when wearing jeans and a t-shirt) who has no money to spend.

Did you go to the ghetto Best Buy near 87th street?

No, this was in Lincoln Park.  That's why compared to everyone else I looked like a hobo.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: freeAgent on October 15, 2008, 12:20:38 AM
Whenever I shop, I always look around like I'm stealing shit. I get the best service every time.  8)

Actually, that was part of my CC training.  If you see someone you think may be shoplifting or about to shoplift, go up and offer to help them...then just stand around if they refuse.  That sounds like a very good idea now that I think about it. ;)
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Russell Griswold on October 15, 2008, 12:30:02 AM
No, this was in Lincoln Park.  That's why compared to everyone else I looked like a hobo.

Try this one, next time: http://www.yelp.com/biz/best-buy-chicago-9
It's kind of new.

Actually, that was part of my CC training.  If you see someone you think may be shoplifting or about to shoplift, go up and offer to help them...then just stand around if they refuse.  That sounds like a very good idea now that I think about it. ;)

Yup.
<---(used to work at Best Buy)   :lol:
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 15, 2008, 12:36:28 AM
No, this was in Lincoln Park.  That's why compared to everyone else I looked like a hobo.

Try this one, next time: http://www.yelp.com/biz/best-buy-chicago-9
It's kind of new.

Actually, that was part of my CC training.  If you see someone you think may be shoplifting or about to shoplift, go up and offer to help them...then just stand around if they refuse.  That sounds like a very good idea now that I think about it. ;)

Yup.
<---(used to work at Best Buy)   :lol:

It really does work. 

At our inline store in the mall, we get a lot of young teenagers that wedge themselves together three and four deep near our Oakleys.  Brad and I will literally wedge ourselves in between them and just be really fucking weird and be like "HEY GUYS, TRY THIS ON!" and hand them something.  It's hard in that kind of store when it's really busy.  There's no glass on any of the cases so it's pretty easy for the scum of the earth to shoplift is the associate isn't well-trained and very careful. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Elitist Bitch on October 15, 2008, 02:54:27 AM
Story Two:
At my last job at Hastings, we were close to closing one night when I get a phone call from someone who apparently wanted to know if we had everything on her Christmas list.

Me: (after checking about 25 items) Yes ma'am, we have that, anything else I can search up for you?
Stupid Woman: No, that's all. I need you to gather all these up for me and leave them at the front, I'll be there in the morning.
Me: (disbelieving) I'm sorry, we just can't do that. We just don't have that kind of time.
SW: But you all hold items all the time!
Me: Yes ma'am, we do, but it's always one or two items, not two dozen. And not two days before Christmas.
SW: But I live in GENESSEE!! (Note: Genessee is all of thirteen miles from Moscow)
Me: I'm sorry ma'am, you'll have to come in tomorrow, we can help you find them then.
SW: IF YOU SELL OUT OF ANY OF THESE ITEMS YOU'LL BE RUINING A CHILD'S CHRISTMAS!!! *hangs up*

Customers frequently use that line on me.  It might work on some people, but I by and large loathe children.





what?
are you in russia?

3     -    2      -     1  ..........................

IDAHO.  MOSCOW, IDAHO.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Russell Griswold on October 15, 2008, 10:12:14 AM
No love for the Kremlin?
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Elitist Bitch on October 15, 2008, 11:10:33 AM
I just get tired of having to specify. There are 17 towns in the US alone that share the name.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Riddler on October 15, 2008, 01:00:30 PM
I just get tired of having to specify. There are 17 towns in the US alone that share the name.




prob. all settled by goddam russkie heathens
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Elitist Bitch on October 15, 2008, 01:11:23 PM
The first mayor of Moscow, Idaho was from Moscow, Iowa. I'd point to a lack of originality. And after the damn Mormons stole the state seal from Lewiston under cover of night to take to Boise so Boise would be the state capital, north Idaho had to get something besides the white supremacists, so they got the university. Welcome to Moscow, home of the Vandals.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Riddler on October 15, 2008, 02:42:04 PM
are they shiny as well?
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Elitist Bitch on October 16, 2008, 04:05:15 AM
are they shiny as well?

Nope, just me.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Sam Gunn (since nobody got Admiral Naismith) on October 16, 2008, 05:22:42 AM
I worked at Macy's for a year.  I'm done with retail for evar.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Elitist Bitch on October 16, 2008, 05:52:00 AM
I've worked retail for six years. For four different companies. God help me, I sort of like it. Even though people are stupid and my managers are a pain in the ass, I still like it.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 16, 2008, 08:02:26 AM
I worked at Macy's for a year.  I'm done with retail for evar.

Macy's sucks especially. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Sam Gunn (since nobody got Admiral Naismith) on October 16, 2008, 08:06:14 AM
I worked at Macy's for a year.  I'm done with retail for evar.

Macy's sucks especially. 
I started to go a bit crazy.  I was also working at the local hospital doing licensed work and I saw 4 of my Macy's coworkers in the mental ward over a period of 4 months.  I thought that was indicative... so I quit.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: BonerJoe on October 16, 2008, 08:07:16 AM
I worked at Macy's for a year.  I'm done with retail for evar.

Macy's sucks especially. 
I started to go a bit crazy.  I was also working at the local hospital doing licensed work and I saw 4 of my Macy's coworkers in the mental ward over a period of 4 months.  I thought that was indicative... so I quit.

Oh shi-
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 16, 2008, 08:10:26 AM
I worked at Macy's for a year.  I'm done with retail for evar.

Macy's sucks especially. 
I started to go a bit crazy.  I was also working at the local hospital doing licensed work and I saw 4 of my Macy's coworkers in the mental ward over a period of 4 months.  I thought that was indicative... so I quit.

Oh shi-

That seems pretty likely.  Everyone I've ever met that works there hates it. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Sam Gunn (since nobody got Admiral Naismith) on October 16, 2008, 08:14:06 AM
I worked at Macy's for a year.  I'm done with retail for evar.

Macy's sucks especially. 
I started to go a bit crazy.  I was also working at the local hospital doing licensed work and I saw 4 of my Macy's coworkers in the mental ward over a period of 4 months.  I thought that was indicative... so I quit.

Oh shi-

That seems pretty likely.  Everyone I've ever met that works there hates it. 
Yeah, but I only went to the mental ward maybe once a week or so, so I am guessing that there were probably even more that I never knew got locked up in the crazy wing and got let out before I made my rounds over there.  I'm guessing that a couple of them probably spotted me coming and ducked into their rooms so as not to expose themselves as nuts
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 16, 2008, 08:15:56 AM
I worked at Macy's for a year.  I'm done with retail for evar.

Macy's sucks especially. 
I started to go a bit crazy.  I was also working at the local hospital doing licensed work and I saw 4 of my Macy's coworkers in the mental ward over a period of 4 months.  I thought that was indicative... so I quit.

Oh shi-

That seems pretty likely.  Everyone I've ever met that works there hates it. 
Yeah, but I only went to the mental ward maybe once a week or so, so I am guessing that there were probably even more that I never knew got locked up in the crazy wing and got let out before I made my rounds over there.  I'm guessing that a couple of them probably spotted me coming and ducked into their rooms so as not to expose themselves as nuts

I think everyone at Macy's responds to the word "credit".  I think their hearts start to race or something. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Sam Gunn (since nobody got Admiral Naismith) on October 16, 2008, 08:30:22 AM
I worked at Macy's for a year.  I'm done with retail for evar.

Macy's sucks especially. 
I started to go a bit crazy.  I was also working at the local hospital doing licensed work and I saw 4 of my Macy's coworkers in the mental ward over a period of 4 months.  I thought that was indicative... so I quit.

Oh shi-

That seems pretty likely.  Everyone I've ever met that works there hates it. 
Yeah, but I only went to the mental ward maybe once a week or so, so I am guessing that there were probably even more that I never knew got locked up in the crazy wing and got let out before I made my rounds over there.  I'm guessing that a couple of them probably spotted me coming and ducked into their rooms so as not to expose themselves as nuts

I think everyone at Macy's responds to the word "credit".  I think their hearts start to race or something. 
Yeah, I always got harangued by managers for not pushing enough store credit cards, but some people would orgasm over it.  I always felt a little guilty trying to sign people up for them.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: miamiballoonguy on October 16, 2008, 10:09:28 AM
My friend Zach works at Circuit City now.  I am definitely not satisfied with my customer service experiences there.  Every time I go in, every motherfucker in the place ignores me.  And it's not like I look like a homeless person, because I know sales people make snap judgements.  I'm well-dressed, and I have really expensive sunglasses and really expensive purses.  I should be a magnet for these people.  But usually I don't know where to find what it is I'm looking for, and I do need help.  But they CONSTANTLY ignore me and scuttle about. 

When I bought my desktop, I had  to YELL to get one of them to even look up.  I came knowing they had the model in stock, and knowing that I wanted it.  I told the kid up front to NOT even open his fat mouth about the warranty bullshit.  Did he listen?  No.  Of course not.  I paid in cash.  He counted it wrong.  THRICE.  My mother, myself, and Stephanie counted it in front of him and laid all of the bills on the counter (hundreds, mind you - so there were only like eight to count...NOT HARD).  And he still failed until the third time he counted it himself.  I made sure to mention that he was a waste of carbon before I left. 

He must have been a Public School kid.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Elitist Bitch on October 16, 2008, 10:20:37 AM

He must have been a Public School kid.

No excuses. I went to a public school.

And I was just thinking about this, Linds, but unless these kids at CC work on commission (I don't know if they do or not) they're probably not that adept at knowing whether or not their purses or sunglasses were expensive. I acquired the skill at one of the stores I worked at, but we just used it as a scavenger hunt, the person that found the fewest items bought the first round of margaritas after work.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: YixilTesiphon on October 16, 2008, 10:48:57 AM
...

Jesus Christ.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Diogenes The Cynic on October 16, 2008, 03:14:41 PM
Meridia=is used to promote and maintain weight loss in obese patients. This medicine should be used with a reduced calorie diet and, if appropriate, an exercise program. This medicine may be used for other purposes; ask your health care provider or pharmacist if you have questions


Lindsey, we are definately NOT going to think you have an eating disorder.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Elitist Bitch on October 16, 2008, 03:22:10 PM
I was going to look it up for her.  I am scrawny. Hence the advice.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: freeAgent on October 16, 2008, 06:58:18 PM

He must have been a Public School kid.

No excuses. I went to a public school.

And I was just thinking about this, Linds, but unless these kids at CC work on commission (I don't know if they do or not) they're probably not that adept at knowing whether or not their purses or sunglasses were expensive. I acquired the skill at one of the stores I worked at, but we just used it as a scavenger hunt, the person that found the fewest items bought the first round of margaritas after work.

Circuit City went off commission a long time ago.  I'm not sure when, but it was before I worked there which was around 2002-2003.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 16, 2008, 10:58:53 PM
Some old man spewed venom at me when he asked me where Sears was today.  Right after he asked me, the phone rang - and I was expecting a call from my RM so I ran to grab the phone, pointed in the direction of Sears, and told him to follow the signs.  THE BIG ASS SIGNS THAT HAVE LETTERS THE SIZE OF AN ADULT MALE'S HAND.  I don't know what he was screaming because I picked up the phone and ignored him.  It's not my fault that people can't read and comprehend directional signs and a directory complete with map. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Russell Griswold on October 17, 2008, 10:05:06 AM
Some old man spewed venom at me when he asked me where Sears was today.  Right after he asked me, the phone rang - and I was expecting a call from my RM so I ran to grab the phone, pointed in the direction of Sears, and told him to follow the signs.  THE BIG ASS SIGNS THAT HAVE LETTERS THE SIZE OF AN ADULT MALE'S HAND.  I don't know what he was screaming because I picked up the phone and ignored him.  It's not my fault that people can't read and comprehend directional signs and a directory complete with map. 

Rule #342.176 of retail: Make the phone ring more than four times before picking it up. It makes your store look like it's busy.  :wink:
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 17, 2008, 11:07:01 AM
Some old man spewed venom at me when he asked me where Sears was today.  Right after he asked me, the phone rang - and I was expecting a call from my RM so I ran to grab the phone, pointed in the direction of Sears, and told him to follow the signs.  THE BIG ASS SIGNS THAT HAVE LETTERS THE SIZE OF AN ADULT MALE'S HAND.  I don't know what he was screaming because I picked up the phone and ignored him.  It's not my fault that people can't read and comprehend directional signs and a directory complete with map. 

Rule #342.176 of retail: Make the phone ring more than four times before picking it up. It makes your store look like it's busy.  :wink:

Sometimes when a creepy person is talking to me I press the volume button so the phone will ring, and I pick it up and pretend to talk on it. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Elitist Bitch on October 17, 2008, 11:48:46 AM
I love my cell phone as much as the next person (and probably more), but I really hate it when people gesticulate angrily at you while talking on their cell phones. Drives me insane.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 17, 2008, 11:53:24 AM
I love my cell phone as much as the next person (and probably more), but I really hate it when people gesticulate angrily at you while talking on their cell phones. Drives me insane.

I won't help them if they're on the phone.  It's rude. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Elitist Bitch on October 17, 2008, 11:54:55 AM
I love my cell phone as much as the next person (and probably more), but I really hate it when people gesticulate angrily at you while talking on their cell phones. Drives me insane.

I won't help them if they're on the phone.  It's rude. 

Those bastards at the Blue Devil make me. Fuckers. I don't have to be nice though, I just ring their shit up and glare at them till they get uncomfortable and get their shit together.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Riddler on October 18, 2008, 05:39:04 PM
A-fucking-1
the kind of shit that's actually enjoyable to read.

"Caustic, yet funny, in a sick sort of way"
                                                                           - The dead guy & Ebert
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 18, 2008, 06:00:53 PM
Goddamn, I almost pissed myself earlier.  I was standing in my kiosk doing some paperwork or typing or something.  I can't even remember because I was so shocked after this happened.  I heard this yelling in the distance behind me.  Sounded like it was maybe 20 feet back.  I heard it getting a little closer but I didn't pay any mind because I figured if someone was talking to me, they would be in front of me.  Logical, right?  Guess not.  And then I hear "ARE YOU DEEF?"  Not deaf...DEEF - pretty close behind me.  So I turn around with a perplexed look on my face and see this cantankerous old prune of a negro jet pilot shrew woman.  And she yells it again, presumably because I look pretty fucking confused as to why someone is shouting that at me.  So here goes the interaction:

Shrew:  YOU DEEF?!
Me:  (In a moderately angry tone) NO.
Shrew:  WELL THEN WHAT WRONG WITCHOO?
Me:  Lady, I'd say the problem is on your end.
Shrew:  *Walks away mumbling*

At this point, I turned around and went to go back to writing or whatever, and I stopped and said to myself "That was rude!" out loud.  So she comes back, and we go around again:

Shrew:  EXCUSE ME?!  WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
Me:  I said that was very rude
Shrew:  *Makes disgusting noise of disgust*
Me:  Ma'am, I'm not here for you to yell at berate because you for some reason have nothing of value to spend your time on.
Shrew:  WELL THEN WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR?
Me:  To run this store.  I'm not here for ANYTHING ELSE.
Shrew:  WELL YOU NOT DOIN' IT.

And then she finally walked away.  For the next like, half an hour or so she was walking in circles around the area giving me dirty looks.  I've certainly had people say worse to me, but it was not for just simply standing there and doing my job.  From what I gather, she was about 20 feet away and was yelling at me for directions, and when I didn't turn around and bend over for her, it did not make her happy.  I swear, between all of the weirdos in that place I'm going to get axe murdered on my way out to my car one of these nights. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Riddler on October 18, 2008, 06:12:07 PM
Goddamn, I almost pissed myself earlier.  I was standing in my kiosk doing some paperwork or typing or something.  I can't even remember because I was so shocked after this happened.  I heard this yelling in the distance behind me.  Sounded like it was maybe 20 feet back.  I heard it getting a little closer but I didn't pay any mind because I figured if someone was talking to me, they would be in front of me.  Logical, right?  Guess not.  And then I hear "ARE YOU DEEF?"  Not deaf...DEEF - pretty close behind me.  So I turn around with a perplexed look on my face and see this cantankerous old prune of a negro jet pilot shrew woman.  And she yells it again, presumably because I look pretty fucking confused as to why someone is shouting that at me.  So here goes the interaction:

Shrew:  YOU DEEF?!
Me:  (In a moderately angry tone) NO.
Shrew:  WELL THEN WHAT WRONG WITCHOO?
Me:  Lady, I'd say the problem is on your end.
Shrew:  *Walks away mumbling*

At this point, I turned around and went to go back to writing or whatever, and I stopped and said to myself "That was rude!" out loud.  So she comes back, and we go around again:

Shrew:  EXCUSE ME?!  WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
Me:  I said that was very rude
Shrew:  *Makes disgusting noise of disgust*
Me:  Ma'am, I'm not here for you to yell at berate because you for some reason have nothing of value to spend your time on.
Shrew:  WELL THEN WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR?
Me:  To run this store.  I'm not here for ANYTHING ELSE.
Shrew:  WELL YOU NOT DOIN' IT.

And then she finally walked away.  For the next like, half an hour or so she was walking in circles around the area giving me dirty looks.  I've certainly had people say worse to me, but it was not for just simply standing there and doing my job.  From what I gather, she was about 20 feet away and was yelling at me for directions, and when I didn't turn around and bend over for her, it did not make her happy.  I swear, between all of the weirdos in that place I'm going to get axe murdered on my way out to my car one of these nights. 


1: negroe "jet pilot"?????????????????
2: negress was a jamaican bitch, ima bettin........ja mahn, wat ees wrong wichoo...?
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 18, 2008, 06:45:12 PM
She didn't have an island-y accent or anything.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Russell Griswold on October 18, 2008, 06:47:03 PM
Mmmm-hhhm, can't you see that I'm big, black, an beautifool?!
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Russell Griswold on October 18, 2008, 06:48:44 PM
I lurched past the gaggle of lame twats gathered in a loose pack of pre-dawn retail loserdom and said something obnoxious in their direction in a slow motion blowoff, like a pirate ship sailing past a herd of rhino stranded on a sand bar.

Holy shit, what a description!  :D
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 18, 2008, 06:50:41 PM
Mmmm-hhhm, can't you see that I'm big, black, an beautifool?!

She was an older woman.  Probably 70-ish.  Give or take a few years.  I would expect it from some young hoodrat, but just from looking at this woman - I would not have predicted what came out of her mouth.   :shock:
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Russell Griswold on October 18, 2008, 06:51:53 PM
Was one of her ass cheeks the size of a dump truck?
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: JWI on October 18, 2008, 06:55:25 PM
I give you people in retail a metric fuck-ton of credit.  I tried it once and lasted 2 weeks before I told a customer to get the hell out of face if they're going to be such a rude asshole.  They claimed "The customer is always right!"  my response was "not when their being an unreasonable dickhead that insults people"

I then took off my little name tag, dropped it on the counter and told my "boss" that "I quit or I'll punch the next rude asshole that comes in here."

I've learned to never ever be a dick to the people working in retail...unless they're complete fucktards.  I've seen many stupid company policies that make the job for some people harder and more frustrating, so me yelling at them just isn't going to help any.

I also tip the poor bastards that wait on tables very well if they do a good job.  I did that for almost 2 years making $2.35/hour and counting on tips to pay the bills.  It's shit work and the people that do it deserve a smile, a thank you and credit for the bullshit they have to put up with from other jackass customers.

Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 18, 2008, 06:58:53 PM
I give you people in retail a metric fuck-ton of credit.  I tried it once and lasted 2 weeks before I told a customer to get the hell out of face if they're going to be such a rude asshole.  They claimed "The customer is always right!"  my response was "not when their being an unreasonable dickhead that insults people"

I then took off my little name tag, dropped it on the counter and told my "boss" that "I quit or I'll punch the next rude asshole that comes in here."

I've learned to never ever be a dick to the people working in retail...unless they're complete fucktards.  I've seen many stupid company policies that make the job for some people harder and more frustrating, so me yelling at them just isn't going to help any.

I also tip the poor bastards that wait on tables very well if they do a good job.  I did that for almost 2 years making $2.35/hour and counting on tips to pay the bills.  It's shit work and the people that do it deserve a smile, a thank you and credit for the bullshit they have to put up with from other jackass customers.



See, this is the way a reasonable human being would behave.  I mean, I've had people threaten my life because I could not give them a brand new pair of sunglasses FOR FREE because they lost them, they got stolen, their dog chewed on them, etc.  I tell them all the time that I don't make the rules and I don't make the policies.  But you know, I can SORT OF ALMOST understand where they're coming from in the way that at least they're upset because of something.  This woman that was screaming at me today...NOTHING.  I didn't do a Goddamn thing until she attacked me.  Once you fuck with me you're gonna be one unlucky sonofabitch. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 18, 2008, 07:00:25 PM
Just pick up the phone and say into it (with nobody on the other end) "Security, this is Sunglass Hut.  I need a guard to escort an abusive customer out of the mall." 

Then tell the woman "You better go, if they take you to the police substation they could hit you with a $250 fine for disorderly conduct.  And it WILL stick, because you're being recorded on a security camera.  After the robbery last week, they don't screw around" 

You know, if she hadn't left so quickly that second time, I would've had my buddy the Russian Torture Specialist (read:  mall security, ex Ukrainian military) escort her out of the building.  He always says to me "In my country, we just shoot them".   :lol:
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Riddler on October 18, 2008, 07:13:01 PM
I give you people in retail a metric fuck-ton of credit.  I tried it once and lasted 2 weeks before I told a customer to get the hell out of face if they're going to be such a rude asshole.  They claimed "The customer is always right!"  my response was "not when their being an unreasonable dickhead that insults people"

I then took off my little name tag, dropped it on the counter and told my "boss" that "I quit or I'll punch the next rude asshole that comes in here."

I've learned to never ever be a dick to the people working in retail...unless they're complete fucktards.  I've seen many stupid company policies that make the job for some people harder and more frustrating, so me yelling at them just isn't going to help any.

I also tip the poor bastards that wait on tables very well if they do a good job.  I did that for almost 2 years making $2.35/hour and counting on tips to pay the bills.  It's shit work and the people that do it deserve a smile, a thank you and credit for the bullshit they have to put up with from other jackass customers.



See, this is the way a reasonable human being would behave.  I mean, I've had people threaten my life because I could not give them a brand new pair of sunglasses FOR FREE because they lost them, they got stolen, their dog chewed on them, etc.  I tell them all the time that I don't make the rules and I don't make the policies.   But you know, I can SORT OF ALMOST understand where they're coming from in the way that at least they're upset because of something.  This woman that was screaming at me today...NOTHING.  I didn't do a Goddamn thing until she attacked me.  Once you fuck with me you're gonna be one unlucky sonofabitch. 




sooo.... just 'doing your job, eh...?
that's WHAT ALL THE JACKBOOTS SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!RADRADRADRADRADARADARARADAAADRADRADARDARDARDRDARAARD

sorry
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 18, 2008, 07:17:32 PM
Just pick up the phone and say into it (with nobody on the other end) "Security, this is Sunglass Hut.  I need a guard to escort an abusive customer out of the mall." 

Then tell the woman "You better go, if they take you to the police substation they could hit you with a $250 fine for disorderly conduct.  And it WILL stick, because you're being recorded on a security camera.  After the robbery last week, they don't screw around" 

You know, if she hadn't left so quickly that second time, I would've had my buddy the Russian Torture Specialist (read:  mall security, ex Ukrainian military) escort her out of the building.  He always says to me "In my country, we just shoot them".   :lol:

Sounds like a fun guy. 

Haha.  Yeah, he's a nice guy.  At least he's not retarded, like some of the other ones.  This security dude, Dave...he makes me want to bang my head against a white-hot metal spike.  Macy's loss prevention ran by chasing a dude a week or so ago, and since I know them all, they asked me (yelled as they were running by) to call security for back up.  So...ten minutes later Dave sloths down there, and kept asking me fucking questions.  Finally, I repeated that they went toward Sears, expecting him to at least go down there.  HE WALKED THE OTHER WAY.  THE OPPOSITE FUCKING DIRECTION.  FUCK YOU ASSMONGRELS IF YOU WON'T TRESPASS A GUY FROM THE PREMISES THAT DOES NOT SPEND MONEY IN THE CENTER.  ALL HE DOES IS SHOPLIFT THINGS FROM THE MALL.  FUCK YOU ASSHOLES. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 18, 2008, 07:18:27 PM
I give you people in retail a metric fuck-ton of credit.  I tried it once and lasted 2 weeks before I told a customer to get the hell out of face if they're going to be such a rude asshole.  They claimed "The customer is always right!"  my response was "not when their being an unreasonable dickhead that insults people"

I then took off my little name tag, dropped it on the counter and told my "boss" that "I quit or I'll punch the next rude asshole that comes in here."

I've learned to never ever be a dick to the people working in retail...unless they're complete fucktards.  I've seen many stupid company policies that make the job for some people harder and more frustrating, so me yelling at them just isn't going to help any.

I also tip the poor bastards that wait on tables very well if they do a good job.  I did that for almost 2 years making $2.35/hour and counting on tips to pay the bills.  It's shit work and the people that do it deserve a smile, a thank you and credit for the bullshit they have to put up with from other jackass customers.



See, this is the way a reasonable human being would behave.  I mean, I've had people threaten my life because I could not give them a brand new pair of sunglasses FOR FREE because they lost them, they got stolen, their dog chewed on them, etc.  I tell them all the time that I don't make the rules and I don't make the policies.   But you know, I can SORT OF ALMOST understand where they're coming from in the way that at least they're upset because of something.  This woman that was screaming at me today...NOTHING.  I didn't do a Goddamn thing until she attacked me.  Once you fuck with me you're gonna be one unlucky sonofabitch. 
[/quote


sooo.... just 'doing your job, eh...?
that's WHAT ALL THE JACKBOOTS SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!RADRADRADRADRADARADARARADAAADRADRADARDARDARDRDARAARD

sorry

You should be.  That was asinine.  And you fucked up the quotes.  Go take your pillz, mang. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Riddler on October 18, 2008, 07:20:45 PM
don't make me come down there, strumpet.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 18, 2008, 07:22:25 PM
I thought you'd like that. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Russell Griswold on October 18, 2008, 08:06:21 PM
At least he's not retarded, like some of the other ones.  This security dude, Dave...

(http://imagesforum.doctissimo.fr/mesimages/4280053/58071526_doofy.jpg)
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on October 18, 2008, 08:07:52 PM
At least he's not retarded, like some of the other ones.  This security dude, Dave...

(http://imagesforum.doctissimo.fr/mesimages/4280053/58071526_doofy.jpg)

I'm dead serious when I say that the resemblance is uncanny.  I hadn't thought of it before.  Dave is a bit taller and thinner, but the face looks the same.   :lol:
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: BonerJoe on October 18, 2008, 08:50:41 PM
I bet he smells funny.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: MacFall on October 18, 2008, 10:27:49 PM
long post

Brasky. Do you get paid for this shit? Because if you don't, you freaking should.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: MacFall on October 18, 2008, 11:41:17 PM
When I worked at RadioShack we had a frequent customer who believed he was an android. He was constantly buying headphones because (he said) the resistors in the back of his head and neck got really hot and melted the plastic in his old ones, of which he wore at least a half a dozen at any time. And he never had them plugged into anything either, as far as I know. Or at least I hope to Cthulhu that he didn't, because he had them stuffed down the front of his pants.

Sometimes, he would yell "BUFFER UNDERRUN!" and fall over, then crawl up the counter saying "Reboot. Reboot. Reboot." Oh, and any time someone asked him a question he would make a grinding noise in his throat and then yell "BEEP" before answering.

His brother, who is quite sane, says that he used to be a savant of some sort. He was able to do freaking calculus in his head in highschool, and he was really quiet, but socially he got along well enough. But his parents were murdered when he was a senior, and he locked himself in his basement with his computers for years, taking them apart and rebuilding them, only eating takeout that his brother brought him. When he finally emerged, he was convinced that he was a computer himself.

He was by far the weirdest of our customers, but he was harmless. We did have a vast array of really foul people, ranging from just nasty rude folks to a convicted rapist who runs some sort of satanic cult near the store. (Seriously. They sacrifice horses and shit.)

One of my favorites was a guy who was constantly bringing in things which he had obviously actively wrecked, and trying to get refunds for it. Once he had a stereo system which we had sold him two years prior (the warranty was only for one year, never mind that the refund policy stops at 90 days) which looked like it had been struck in several places with an axe. He claimed that "it just happened". When we refused to refund him the $230 it cost, he called us thieves and claimed he would never be back. Too bad he lied.

A few months later he had an ancient Tandy tape recorder that wasn't working, and wanted a refund. First of all, the thing had to be twenty years old. Second, it was wet. Third, when we opened it up (at his insistence) there were crickets living inside. My manager, by that point hoping to ensure that he really wouldn't ever come back, told him that insect infestation was not under the warranty, and the dude threw it across the store, screamed like a little girl, and claimed that he would never be back. For the next year, we had to live with the crickets. We never saw them, but after dark we'd hear them cricking obnoxiously in inaccessible areas.

Then, in the middle of the Christmas season, when we were way too busy for his shit, he came back again. With a gorr'am washing machine. RadioShack has never sold washing machines. And this one was old. And huge. He freaking dollied it in and dumped it on the floor. Then, alternating between yelling and whining petulantly, he complained that "our washing machine" was a piece of crap and he wanted his money back. Gary asked him how much it cost, and he gave us some bullshit number like five hundred dollars. So Gary told me to give him a "special gift card", so I did.

A special gift card is a gift card with one cent on it.

He figured it out a week later, and came back in yelling, grabbing pens from the counter and throwing them at us. Gary threatened to call the cops, and he left. As far as I know (I've been gone for three years), he hasn't been back.

Another one of my favorites was one of the most disgusting women I've ever known. She was a resident of the nearby welfare farm. Like her neighbors, she was a filthy, ignorant, petulant, envious, rude ogre of a woman. But she was also fat. I don't describe people as fat very often. I reserve it for people for whom there is no other word. The sort of people who are that way because they are too lazy even to wash themselves properly, and are constantly eating horrible shit. This woman went to McDonald's for each of her five or six daily meals. I do not exaggerate. The McD's was across the lot from us, and we counted.

Not that we couldn't have guessed. Some fat people look like pears, some like apples. This woman looked like a watermelon. She had no neck, only an hemispheric chin which overlapped her bosom. She barely had legs. Cankles? Hell no, she walked - nay, shuffled - on what looked like tree stumps with varicose veins. And she kept her purse tucked up under her armpit, which smelled from yards away like she put live food in there to die. And forgot about some of it.

Though her visits shared the same theme, one sticks out in my memory. She decided that she would have a cell phone. Or, a cellophone, as she pronounced it. (Gary, to me: "Isn't cellophone that stuff they wrap up sandwiches in?")

It took her a good twenty seconds to squeeze through the doorway, giving the manager time to remember some paperwork and retreat to his back room office. She approached the front counter with a Huttlike motion, and breathlessly informed me that she wanted a free cellophone. One that takes pictures. I went through the motions of explaining to her the two-year contract which Verizon required for the two-hundred dollar discount.

Hutt: I don' wanna contrack.

Me: Well, the phone isn't free by itself. Verizon actually buys the phone from Motorola for you in exchange for you signing the contract.

Hutt: But I don' WAAANA CONTRACK! I just WANNA CELLOPHONE!

Me: How much were you willing to pay for one?

Hutt: NOTHING. Pssssh. (The last was a sound of derision.)

Me: I'm afraid none of the camera phones are free without a contract of some length.

Hutt: That's STEALIN'!

Me: No, stealing is what you do when you take tax money to pay for the grease you stuff your face full of six times a day.

Actually, I didn't say that. But I wanted to. There were other interesting people, but I can't remember them at this time. I'll post more later, if anyone wants to hear about them.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on November 15, 2008, 11:08:38 PM
So today, I was sitting in my store and this woman walks over and asks if I can clean up the soda her kid spilled for her.  Having had three hours of sleep, and not being of sound mind especially lately, I told her that Westfield did not pay me for that, nor did I do it - so there was absolutely no just cause for me to pick up after her.  Then she asked me if I had any paper towels, so I gave them to her.  She bitched while she cleaned it up, and then tried to hand me the paper towel.  I told her there was a trash can about ten feet behind her.  She slapped it down on my glass countertops, and then picked up the overflowing bottle of Coke she had also set on the store, and walked away. 

Why is it that some people think the world owes them a favor? 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: JWI on November 15, 2008, 11:10:37 PM
So today, I was sitting in my store and this woman walks over and asks if I can clean up the soda her kid spilled for her.  Having had three hours of sleep, and not being of sound mind especially lately, I told her that Westfield did not pay me for that, nor did I do it - so there was absolutely no just cause for me to pick up after her.  Then she asked me if I had any paper towels, so I gave them to her.  She bitched while she cleaned it up, and then tried to hand me the paper towel.  I told her there was a trash can about ten feet behind her.  She slapped it down on my glass countertops, and then picked up the overflowing bottle of Coke she had also set on the store, and walked away. 

Why is it that some people think the world owes them a favor? 

because of that idiotic "customer is always right" slogan.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on November 15, 2008, 11:12:35 PM
So today, I was sitting in my store and this woman walks over and asks if I can clean up the soda her kid spilled for her.  Having had three hours of sleep, and not being of sound mind especially lately, I told her that Westfield did not pay me for that, nor did I do it - so there was absolutely no just cause for me to pick up after her.  Then she asked me if I had any paper towels, so I gave them to her.  She bitched while she cleaned it up, and then tried to hand me the paper towel.  I told her there was a trash can about ten feet behind her.  She slapped it down on my glass countertops, and then picked up the overflowing bottle of Coke she had also set on the store, and walked away. 

Why is it that some people think the world owes them a favor? 

because of that idiotic "customer is always right" slogan.

If she was shopping at the store, I could sort of see why she'd ask that...but she was just walking by and her kid happened to open the soda that just came out of the vending machine, and the kid opened it too soon.  I don't constitute that as being one of my customers.  And the customer is most assuredly wrong at times.   :lol:
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: YixilTesiphon on November 15, 2008, 11:29:39 PM
So today, I was sitting in my store and this woman walks over and asks if I can clean up the soda her kid spilled for her.  Having had three hours of sleep, and not being of sound mind especially lately, I told her that Westfield did not pay me for that, nor did I do it - so there was absolutely no just cause for me to pick up after her.  Then she asked me if I had any paper towels, so I gave them to her.  She bitched while she cleaned it up, and then tried to hand me the paper towel.  I told her there was a trash can about ten feet behind her.  She slapped it down on my glass countertops, and then picked up the overflowing bottle of Coke she had also set on the store, and walked away. 

Why is it that some people think the world owes them a favor? 

Because of all those fucking "the X your Y deserves" commercials and politicians.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on November 15, 2008, 11:32:03 PM
I just wanted to look her straight in the eyes and ask her if she wanted to bend me over and give it to me like the little bitch I am, just to see if she'd have dropped dead on the spot.  She looked like a prude.   :lol:
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Russell Griswold on November 15, 2008, 11:35:48 PM
That lady sounded like a bitch.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on November 15, 2008, 11:37:22 PM
That lady sounded like a bitch.

She looked like it, too. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Russell Griswold on November 15, 2008, 11:45:49 PM
That lady sounded like a bitch.

She looked like it, too. 

Was she ghetto?
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on November 15, 2008, 11:47:57 PM
That lady sounded like a bitch.

She looked like it, too. 

Was she ghetto?

No, I actually think that the child was her granddaughter.  She was way too old for her not to be.  She was just kind of nasty.   :(
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Russell Griswold on November 16, 2008, 12:10:13 AM
Poor Lindsey.  :(
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on November 16, 2008, 12:11:35 AM
Poor Lindsey.  :(

Eh, you get used to it.  Some nights though, I just want to crawl in bed and snuggle or something.  Usually I come home and play with one of the dogs and it puts me in a slightly better mood.   :lol:
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Elitist Bitch on December 09, 2008, 01:19:16 PM
So, I left my floor associate position at my store to work as a pharmacy technician, so sadly most of my funny stories can't be repeated without violating federal law. But, I have two great ones that I can share.

Story 1

It's Black Friday, and Fridays are typically busy days for pharmacies. We have two registers, one facing out toward the main aisle and the other facing the aisle with the condoms and Monistat, among other things. Our customers form one line and we help them as we become available. Pretty simple.

So, I send someone off and this couple finishes their shopping (they are not in line in any way) and slap a value-size box of Trojan Magnum condoms and a HUGE bottle of KY on my counter. I proceed to tell them (in a very loud tone of voice) that if they want to purchase those condoms back here, they'll need to get in line and wait their turn.

They naturally went to complain to my manager. He basically tells them to go to hell. (One nice thing about working in the pharmacy is that all the pharmacists make more money than the store manager and actually care about turnover, since it takes three to six months to properly train a tech.)

--

Story 2

I usually work all weekend, I like it because it's a bit slower paced and there's fewer of the annoying sort of customer. So, I'm working register one Sunday afternoon when a woman approaches my register with a (store-brand) pregnancy test and nothing else. As I'm about to greet her, her Bluetooth headset goes off. I just silently ring her up as the following conversation ensues:
"No, I didn't buy you any beer, since you didn't put any gas in the car and I had to!"
*pause*
"Yeah, well, you know what I'm doing? I'm at the store buying a PREGNANCY TEST! And if I am pregnant, you're the father, you good-for-nothing son of a bitch! And I don't have prenatal care, not like you give a damn..."

She was literally shouting at the man, and I was trying really hard not to laugh till after she turned around. I looked inside the pharmacy proper and saw the other two techs laughing hysterically, saying, "We don't know how you just did that without laughing..."
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 09, 2008, 04:46:55 PM
I just can't figure out why people are so clueless about what they want when they go shopping.  Or even where they are.  A lady came up to me and asked me if I could direct her to where The Gap is.  I told her that no, I could not - but that the DIRECTORY could.  It was meaner than I needed to be, but Goddamn, she walked right by it. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: JWI on December 09, 2008, 05:07:18 PM
Well it's christmas season so I can kinda understand but....

My wife and I were out shopping this weekend and stopped at a Fleet Farm to pick up some stuff for the coming white death.  I decided to get a couple things for our Toys for Tots drive so we went back to the toys.  We were there discussing which toys are good for what age blah blah blah and some moron and their urchin hellspawn came down the same aisle.  The next thing I know I feel something pushing at my legs damn near knocking me over.  I turn around and see it's the little snot-nosed brat.  The father just says "could you move, my kid wants to look at the toys"  After counting to 5 I said "the proper way to act is to say excuse me and not just push your way to whatever you want.  Therefore, you and your kid can wait until we're done here."

He got pissed and said some other stuff so I just turned around and told him that the more he bitched and moaned, the longer I'd stand there in the way.

Fuckin' morons who breed piss me off.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 09, 2008, 05:11:06 PM
I just can't figure out why people are so clueless about what they want when they go shopping.  Or even where they are.  A lady came up to me and asked me if I could direct her to where The Gap is.  I told her that no, I could not - but that the DIRECTORY could.  It was meaner than I needed to be, but Goddamn, she walked right by it. 

I really couldn't tell you, Ma'am.  I don't wear crap. 

Sometimes they come up and they ask for something more specific, like a branded item of clothing or something - and they expect me to know.  Some fat women came up and asked me where they carry large sized clothing once.  And I'm no waif or anything, but I don't need to shop in special stores or special departments within stores for my clothes.  So I'm thinking to myself "I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING CLUE WHERE TO GET SIZE 22 PANTS". 

Well it's christmas season so I can kinda understand but....

My wife and I were out shopping this weekend and stopped at a Fleet Farm to pick up some stuff for the coming white death.  I decided to get a couple things for our Toys for Tots drive so we went back to the toys.  We were there discussing which toys are good for what age blah blah blah and some moron and their urchin hellspawn came down the same aisle.  The next thing I know I feel something pushing at my legs damn near knocking me over.  I turn around and see it's the little snot-nosed brat.  The father just says "could you move, my kid wants to look at the toys"  After counting to 5 I said "the proper way to act is to say excuse me and not just push your way to whatever you want.  Therefore, you and your kid can wait until we're done here."

He got pissed and said some other stuff so I just turned around and told him that the more he bitched and moaned, the longer I'd stand there in the way.

Fuckin' morons who breed piss me off.

I don't think Christmas is an excuse to act like a fucking dingbat.  I swear to Christ, if you can't find your way around a mall by reading a directory - you need help.  I will throw some people a bone though, because stores are closing left and right in our malls down here and it's hard to keep up with what's closing, not closing, moving, etc. 

That's horrible, JWI.  Horrible.  People that behave like that should be drawn and quartered.  And I would've not been so polite to the guy. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: JWI on December 09, 2008, 05:19:55 PM
That's horrible, JWI.  Horrible.  People that behave like that should be drawn and quartered.  And I would've not been so polite to the guy. 

Well it was my hope that by being polite it might rub off and he'd realize how much a douchebag he was being.  I was wrong.

Oh and we have a snowblower shortage up here.  I wanted to buy one but there was no way I was going to spend $1500 for one.  My trusty shovel did a good job cleaning up the 12 inches of snow today.  My scrawny muscles did not.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: bakerbaker on December 09, 2008, 05:21:43 PM
I will throw some people a bone though, because stores are closing left and right in our malls down here and it's hard to keep up with what's closing, not closing, moving, etc.

I remember walking up and down the Fox Valley River Mall a few years ago looking for the fucking FYI.

It had always been there, but this time I couldn't find it.  I finally went to ask the Information Desk.
The lady was nice, and told me the store had closed.

But shit.  Fucking assholes...
AFAIK, there is currently no storefront that specializes in music sales, But I haven't been there in about a year...so something else could have moved in.  I just remember that fact really pissing me off.  I was screaming inside my head, "REALLY?  A MALL?  REALLY?  YOU CALL THIS A FUCKING MALL, AND THERE IS NO STORE THAT SELLS MUSIC?  REALLY????

EDIT:  And I just checked.  Yup. still no music shop.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Rillion on December 09, 2008, 05:52:30 PM
Well it's christmas season so I can kinda understand but....

My wife and I were out shopping this weekend and stopped at a Fleet Farm to pick up some stuff for the coming white death.  I decided to get a couple things for our Toys for Tots drive so we went back to the toys.  We were there discussing which toys are good for what age blah blah blah and some moron and their urchin hellspawn came down the same aisle.  The next thing I know I feel something pushing at my legs damn near knocking me over.  I turn around and see it's the little snot-nosed brat.  The father just says "could you move, my kid wants to look at the toys"  After counting to 5 I said "the proper way to act is to say excuse me and not just push your way to whatever you want.  Therefore, you and your kid can wait until we're done here."

He got pissed and said some other stuff so I just turned around and told him that the more he bitched and moaned, the longer I'd stand there in the way.

Fuckin' morons who breed piss me off.

I read this story out loud to my boyfriend.  Thank you!  :lol:

Oh, and thank you for buying something for Toys for Tots as well.  Great charity.  Where is your coming white death?
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: JWI on December 09, 2008, 06:50:59 PM

I read this story out loud to my boyfriend.  Thank you!  :lol:

Glad you enjoyed it.  Looking back now it was quite funny.

Oh, and thank you for buying something for Toys for Tots as well.  Great charity.  Where is your coming white death?

Toys for Tots is good.  Even though I don't care for most kids and their parents, no presents this time of year just doesn't seem right.

Our white death was last night/today here in WI.  I was going to say we finished with about 10-12 inches, but it's snowing again.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Elitist Bitch on December 09, 2008, 07:09:38 PM
First snow of the year, right now. :(
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 09, 2008, 08:30:45 PM
I will throw some people a bone though, because stores are closing left and right in our malls down here and it's hard to keep up with what's closing, not closing, moving, etc.

I remember walking up and down the Fox Valley River Mall a few years ago looking for the fucking FYI.

It had always been there, but this time I couldn't find it.  I finally went to ask the Information Desk.
The lady was nice, and told me the store had closed.

But shit.  Fucking assholes...
AFAIK, there is currently no storefront that specializes in music sales, But I haven't been there in about a year...so something else could have moved in.  I just remember that fact really pissing me off.  I was screaming inside my head, "REALLY?  A MALL?  REALLY?  YOU CALL THIS A FUCKING MALL, AND THERE IS NO STORE THAT SELLS MUSIC?  REALLY????

EDIT:  And I just checked.  Yup. still no music shop.

It's called FYE.  For Your Entertainment. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 09, 2008, 08:43:08 PM
There's a couple of toy drives I'm interested in checking out.  One of them is a bit far away though, so I don't think I'll be able to make it there.  But I've been feeling like I really want to try and give SOMETHING.  At Thanksgiving, I donated a bunch of these pre-priced and pre-packed bags of food that the grocery store had packed up to donate, and I'm hoping they'll do it again for Christmas (I wish they would year-round).  But I feel like toys for kids at Christmas are important.  Especially in even more troubled times where so many people have lost so much in the past year. 

Sometimes I wish I could fix all of the things that are wrong with the world.   :(
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: bakerbaker on December 09, 2008, 08:44:36 PM
It's called FYE.  For Your Entertainment. 

Oh Yeah. :)
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: JWI on December 09, 2008, 08:46:28 PM
There's a couple of toy drives I'm interested in checking out.  One of them is a bit far away though, so I don't think I'll be able to make it there.  But I've been feeling like I really want to try and give SOMETHING.  At Thanksgiving, I donated a bunch of these pre-priced and pre-packed bags of food that the grocery store had packed up to donate, and I'm hoping they'll do it again for Christmas (I wish they would year-round).  But I feel like toys for kids at Christmas are important.  Especially in even more troubled times where so many people have lost so much in the past year. 

Sometimes I wish I could fix all of the things that are wrong with the world.   :(

You and me both.  Then I realize it's impossible so I go back to playing video games.

Seriously, some stores do a year round food bank thing.  Most of them let you round up your bill and the rounded part goes into a fund for the food bank.  They don't really advertise it so you might have to ask a manager.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 09, 2008, 08:49:41 PM
There's a couple of toy drives I'm interested in checking out.  One of them is a bit far away though, so I don't think I'll be able to make it there.  But I've been feeling like I really want to try and give SOMETHING.  At Thanksgiving, I donated a bunch of these pre-priced and pre-packed bags of food that the grocery store had packed up to donate, and I'm hoping they'll do it again for Christmas (I wish they would year-round).  But I feel like toys for kids at Christmas are important.  Especially in even more troubled times where so many people have lost so much in the past year. 

Sometimes I wish I could fix all of the things that are wrong with the world.   :(

You and me both.  Then I realize it's impossible so I go back to playing video games.

Seriously, some stores do a year round food bank thing.  Most of them let you round up your bill and the rounded part goes into a fund for the food bank.  They don't really advertise it so you might have to ask a manager.

Oh that would be nice.  I'm not religious, but I keep wanting to try and find a church or some kind of organization that volunteers and do the soup-kitchen thing or something every so often.  Especially on holidays.  I don't really have much in the way of family here, so I usually don't spend holidays at home as it is.  They're boring, and it would give me something to do while it benefits other people.  I'll have to poke around and ask some people at work, I'm sure somebody will know something. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: JWI on December 09, 2008, 09:07:06 PM
There's a couple of toy drives I'm interested in checking out.  One of them is a bit far away though, so I don't think I'll be able to make it there.  But I've been feeling like I really want to try and give SOMETHING.  At Thanksgiving, I donated a bunch of these pre-priced and pre-packed bags of food that the grocery store had packed up to donate, and I'm hoping they'll do it again for Christmas (I wish they would year-round).  But I feel like toys for kids at Christmas are important.  Especially in even more troubled times where so many people have lost so much in the past year. 

Sometimes I wish I could fix all of the things that are wrong with the world.   :(

You and me both.  Then I realize it's impossible so I go back to playing video games.

Seriously, some stores do a year round food bank thing.  Most of them let you round up your bill and the rounded part goes into a fund for the food bank.  They don't really advertise it so you might have to ask a manager.

Oh that would be nice.  I'm not religious, but I keep wanting to try and find a church or some kind of organization that volunteers and do the soup-kitchen thing or something every so often.  Especially on holidays.  I don't really have much in the way of family here, so I usually don't spend holidays at home as it is.  They're boring, and it would give me something to do while it benefits other people.  I'll have to poke around and ask some people at work, I'm sure somebody will know something. 

Well out of all the charities I volunteer for Habitat for Humanity the most.  Call it self interest though since I like to learn about plumbing and electric work so I can do it myself.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 09, 2008, 09:08:18 PM
You know, a bunch of people from my work did one together like four years ago or so.  I keep trying to get us to do another one, because I think we'd have a lot of fun while doing it. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Rillion on December 09, 2008, 09:40:36 PM
First snow of the year, right now. :(

Amazingly, it's snowing in Dallas  right now.  First it was hailing, then actual snow began to fall.  The ground is solidly white, as far as I can tell.   

Edit: Okay, the ground isn't actually solidly white....that was just the deck.  The deck is solidly white, though.   :)
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: sinceredagreat on December 09, 2008, 10:18:25 PM
First snow of the year, right now. :(

Amazingly, it's snowing in Dallas  right now.  First it was hailing, then actual snow began to fall.  The ground is solidly white, as far as I can tell.   

Global warming my ass. I'm gonna fuck Al Gore up if I ever see him in person.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: JWI on December 09, 2008, 10:40:18 PM
First snow of the year, right now. :(

Amazingly, it's snowing in Dallas  right now.  First it was hailing, then actual snow began to fall.  The ground is solidly white, as far as I can tell.   

Global warming my ass. I'm gonna fuck Al Gore up if I ever see him in person.

oh and Ojesus was meeting with Al Gore today to discuss global warming.  Actually they call it global climate change now so they can be right either way.  Watch for Ojesus to invest spend a metric fuckton of money to "solve" a problem that doesn't exist.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 09, 2008, 10:42:44 PM
I don't know, it kind of felt like global fucking warming here today.  It felt like it was hovering in the mid-70s this afternoon when I left work right around 4. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: JWI on December 09, 2008, 10:45:02 PM
I don't know, it kind of felt like global fucking warming here today.  It felt like it was hovering in the mid-70s this afternoon when I left work right around 4. 

It's Florida, that doesn't count.

Seriously, if I hear politicians talking about global warming when it's -10 here this winter I will grab a sign and go protest!
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 09, 2008, 10:45:39 PM
I don't know, it kind of felt like global fucking warming here today.  It felt like it was hovering in the mid-70s this afternoon when I left work right around 4. 

It's Florida, that doesn't count.

Seriously, if I hear politicians talking about global warming when it's -10 here this winter I will grab a sign and go protest!

I hate hot weather though.   :(
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: JWI on December 09, 2008, 10:47:49 PM
I don't know, it kind of felt like global fucking warming here today.  It felt like it was hovering in the mid-70s this afternoon when I left work right around 4. 

It's Florida, that doesn't count.

Seriously, if I hear politicians talking about global warming when it's -10 here this winter I will grab a sign and go protest!

I hate hot weather though.   :(

So do I, but -10 is a little too damn cold for me.  I want MORE global warming.  Not only would it not snow here any more, but the property values would increase because people would be attracted to the climate.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 09, 2008, 10:48:40 PM
I don't know, it kind of felt like global fucking warming here today.  It felt like it was hovering in the mid-70s this afternoon when I left work right around 4. 

It's Florida, that doesn't count.

Seriously, if I hear politicians talking about global warming when it's -10 here this winter I will grab a sign and go protest!

I hate hot weather though.   :(

So do I, but -10 is a little too damn cold for me.  I want MORE global warming.  Not only would it not snow here any more, but the property values would increase because people would be attracted to the climate.

Bleh no thank you.   :shock:
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: bakerbaker on December 09, 2008, 10:54:13 PM
I don't know, it kind of felt like global fucking warming here today.  It felt like it was hovering in the mid-70s this afternoon when I left work right around 4. 

It's Florida, that doesn't count.

Seriously, if I hear politicians talking about global warming when it's -10 here this winter I will grab a sign and go protest!

(http://i116.photobucket.com/albums/o15/bakerbaker_2007/GLOBALWARMING.png)
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 09, 2008, 10:54:40 PM
Did you just Photoshop that, dude?   :lol:
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: bakerbaker on December 09, 2008, 10:55:16 PM
Did you just Photoshop that, dude?   :lol:

haha.  yeah. (http://images.google.com/images?gbv=2&hl=en&q=protest&btnG=Search+Images)
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 09, 2008, 10:55:59 PM
Did you just Photoshop that, dude?   :lol:

haha.  yeah. (http://images.google.com/images?gbv=2&hl=en&q=protest&btnG=Search+Images)

Excellent.   :P
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Russell Griswold on December 09, 2008, 10:56:06 PM
Nice!  :lol:
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: JWI on December 09, 2008, 11:02:40 PM
I don't know, it kind of felt like global fucking warming here today.  It felt like it was hovering in the mid-70s this afternoon when I left work right around 4. 

It's Florida, that doesn't count.

Seriously, if I hear politicians talking about global warming when it's -10 here this winter I will grab a sign and go protest!

(http://i116.photobucket.com/albums/o15/bakerbaker_2007/GLOBALWARMING.png)

That sign is perfect.  Now I need a shirt with a witty anti-establishment saying on it and a flag to burn.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 09, 2008, 11:07:09 PM
I think a shirt that just says "WAT" would be slightly amusing to those of who know what it means. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: bakerbaker on December 09, 2008, 11:09:25 PM
I think a shirt that just says "WAT" would be slightly amusing to those of who know what it means. 

everyone else would just be all like, "FUCK YEAAAAHHHH!!!  WAR AGAINST TERROR, BITCHES!!!"
...or, quite simply:  "...'WAT.'  huh?"

EXACTLY!

That sign is perfect.  Now I need a shirt with a witty anti-establishment saying on it and a flag to burn.

(http://www.un.org/depts/dhl/maplib/images_maplib/unflag.gif)
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: sinceredagreat on December 09, 2008, 11:14:01 PM
Fuck all that. It's cold than a bitch in Chicago, and I am suing Al Gore's silly ass. I gave away a leather bomber jacket because of him (actually I gave that away because I got stationed in Cali in 2004), but still he doesn't know that, and I am gonna sue him for his punk ass Nobel Peace Prize, then chuck it at his fucking head.

It's fucking cold.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: bakerbaker on December 09, 2008, 11:16:14 PM
It's fucking cold.

yeeeee-up!
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: YixilTesiphon on December 10, 2008, 03:30:32 AM
It's above freezing in Ithaca for the first time in a few days, so fuck yeah.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Dylboz on December 10, 2008, 10:55:28 AM
I don't know, it kind of felt like global fucking warming here today.  It felt like it was hovering in the mid-70s this afternoon when I left work right around 4. 

It's Florida, that doesn't count.

Seriously, if I hear politicians talking about global warming when it's -10 here this winter I will grab a sign and go protest!

I hate hot weather though.   :(

So, then, when can the Free State expect another matching set of X chromosomes with a resume full of retail experience?
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 10, 2008, 10:56:28 AM
I don't know, it kind of felt like global fucking warming here today.  It felt like it was hovering in the mid-70s this afternoon when I left work right around 4. 

It's Florida, that doesn't count.

Seriously, if I hear politicians talking about global warming when it's -10 here this winter I will grab a sign and go protest!

I hate hot weather though.   :(

So, then, when can the Free State expect another matching set of X chromosomes with a resume full of retail experience?

Actually, this is the only job I've ever had.  I started it right before I graduated high school.   :shock:
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Dylboz on December 10, 2008, 03:39:57 PM
Regardless, it sounds like you're a perfect fit for a porcupine suit. Why not get your butt outta Florida and head to New Hampshire? You've got nothing keeping you in the sunshine state, right? You're a libertarian chick, move to where all the libertarians are gonna be, and you're bound to find a guy you like better than a gold-tooth wearin' crackhead. I'm sure you could get a job in retail up there. They're always looking for good people in retail, because so many people in that business suck ass (no offense, I've been there too, and I know that good help that shows up sober and on time and can make accurate change without verbally abusing the customers is hard to find). I'm just sayin', you are one of the few people who actually likes the kind of weather they have, so you don't even have that it's too cold excuse!
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: blackie on December 10, 2008, 03:46:06 PM
move to where all the libertarians are gonna be
:lol:
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Taors on December 10, 2008, 05:33:16 PM
move to where all the libertarians are gonna be

(http://media.nowpublic.net/images/f5/b/f5b519c8f07a2263e242c170064907dc.jpg)

?
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Riddler on December 10, 2008, 05:45:01 PM
move to where all the libertarians are gonna be

(http://media.nowpublic.net/images/f5/b/f5b519c8f07a2263e242c170064907dc.jpg)

?


movin' to montana soon,
gonna be a dental floss tycoon
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 10, 2008, 05:55:18 PM
Regardless, it sounds like you're a perfect fit for a porcupine suit. Why not get your butt outta Florida and head to New Hampshire? You've got nothing keeping you in the sunshine state, right? You're a libertarian chick, move to where all the libertarians are gonna be, and you're bound to find a guy you like better than a gold-tooth wearin' crackhead. I'm sure you could get a job in retail up there. They're always looking for good people in retail, because so many people in that business suck ass (no offense, I've been there too, and I know that good help that shows up sober and on time and can make accurate change without verbally abusing the customers is hard to find). I'm just sayin', you are one of the few people who actually likes the kind of weather they have, so you don't even have that it's too cold excuse!

I'm not really too keen (har) on New Hampshire.  As for my love life - I don't think it's in New Hampshire.  It's not here either though.  We'll see.   :lol:

As for Florida, I currently cannot afford a place to live on my own - let alone to pick up and incur moving expenses to another area of the country.  I will say that I have been most unhappy today as it was eighty-four degrees earlier, and I am hotter than an ice cube in Hell right now. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Riddler on December 10, 2008, 06:10:06 PM
Regardless, it sounds like you're a perfect fit for a porcupine suit. Why not get your butt outta Florida and head to New Hampshire? You've got nothing keeping you in the sunshine state, right? You're a libertarian chick, move to where all the libertarians are gonna be, and you're bound to find a guy you like better than a gold-tooth wearin' crackhead. I'm sure you could get a job in retail up there. They're always looking for good people in retail, because so many people in that business suck ass (no offense, I've been there too, and I know that good help that shows up sober and on time and can make accurate change without verbally abusing the customers is hard to find). I'm just sayin', you are one of the few people who actually likes the kind of weather they have, so you don't even have that it's too cold excuse!

I'm not really too keen (har) on New Hampshire.  As for my love life - I don't think it's in New Hampshire.  It's not here either though.  We'll see.   :lol:

As for Florida, I currently cannot afford a place to live on my own - let alone to pick up and incur moving expenses to another area of the country.  I will say that I have been most unhappy today as it was eighty-four degrees earlier, and I am hotter than an ice cube in Hell right now. 

my right arm for 84
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 10, 2008, 06:17:04 PM
Regardless, it sounds like you're a perfect fit for a porcupine suit. Why not get your butt outta Florida and head to New Hampshire? You've got nothing keeping you in the sunshine state, right? You're a libertarian chick, move to where all the libertarians are gonna be, and you're bound to find a guy you like better than a gold-tooth wearin' crackhead. I'm sure you could get a job in retail up there. They're always looking for good people in retail, because so many people in that business suck ass (no offense, I've been there too, and I know that good help that shows up sober and on time and can make accurate change without verbally abusing the customers is hard to find). I'm just sayin', you are one of the few people who actually likes the kind of weather they have, so you don't even have that it's too cold excuse!

I'm not really too keen (har) on New Hampshire.  As for my love life - I don't think it's in New Hampshire.  It's not here either though.  We'll see.   :lol:

As for Florida, I currently cannot afford a place to live on my own - let alone to pick up and incur moving expenses to another area of the country.  I will say that I have been most unhappy today as it was eighty-four degrees earlier, and I am hotter than an ice cube in Hell right now. 

my right arm for 84


Hell, I'll trade you for free.  I couldn't sleep last night because I was so hot.  And then we finally turned on the air this afternoon and I took a nap for a few hours - still woke up miserable and hot.   :x
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Riddler on December 10, 2008, 06:31:58 PM
Regardless, it sounds like you're a perfect fit for a porcupine suit. Why not get your butt outta Florida and head to New Hampshire? You've got nothing keeping you in the sunshine state, right? You're a libertarian chick, move to where all the libertarians are gonna be, and you're bound to find a guy you like better than a gold-tooth wearin' crackhead. I'm sure you could get a job in retail up there. They're always looking for good people in retail, because so many people in that business suck ass (no offense, I've been there too, and I know that good help that shows up sober and on time and can make accurate change without verbally abusing the customers is hard to find). I'm just sayin', you are one of the few people who actually likes the kind of weather they have, so you don't even have that it's too cold excuse!

I'm not really too keen (har) on New Hampshire.  As for my love life - I don't think it's in New Hampshire.  It's not here either though.  We'll see.   :lol:

As for Florida, I currently cannot afford a place to live on my own - let alone to pick up and incur moving expenses to another area of the country.  I will say that I have been most unhappy today as it was eighty-four degrees earlier, and I am hotter than an ice cube in Hell right now. 

my right arm for 84


Hell, I'll trade you for free.  I couldn't sleep last night because I was so hot.  And then we finally turned on the air this afternoon and I took a nap for a few hours - still woke up miserable and hot.   :x


it's not the heat....it's the humidity
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 10, 2008, 06:32:55 PM
Regardless, it sounds like you're a perfect fit for a porcupine suit. Why not get your butt outta Florida and head to New Hampshire? You've got nothing keeping you in the sunshine state, right? You're a libertarian chick, move to where all the libertarians are gonna be, and you're bound to find a guy you like better than a gold-tooth wearin' crackhead. I'm sure you could get a job in retail up there. They're always looking for good people in retail, because so many people in that business suck ass (no offense, I've been there too, and I know that good help that shows up sober and on time and can make accurate change without verbally abusing the customers is hard to find). I'm just sayin', you are one of the few people who actually likes the kind of weather they have, so you don't even have that it's too cold excuse!

I'm not really too keen (har) on New Hampshire.  As for my love life - I don't think it's in New Hampshire.  It's not here either though.  We'll see.   :lol:

As for Florida, I currently cannot afford a place to live on my own - let alone to pick up and incur moving expenses to another area of the country.  I will say that I have been most unhappy today as it was eighty-four degrees earlier, and I am hotter than an ice cube in Hell right now. 

my right arm for 84


Hell, I'll trade you for free.  I couldn't sleep last night because I was so hot.  And then we finally turned on the air this afternoon and I took a nap for a few hours - still woke up miserable and hot.   :x


it's not the heat....it's the humidity

It's both.  Trust me.  I just don't like being hot.  At all. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Riddler on December 10, 2008, 06:34:24 PM
Regardless, it sounds like you're a perfect fit for a porcupine suit. Why not get your butt outta Florida and head to New Hampshire? You've got nothing keeping you in the sunshine state, right? You're a libertarian chick, move to where all the libertarians are gonna be, and you're bound to find a guy you like better than a gold-tooth wearin' crackhead. I'm sure you could get a job in retail up there. They're always looking for good people in retail, because so many people in that business suck ass (no offense, I've been there too, and I know that good help that shows up sober and on time and can make accurate change without verbally abusing the customers is hard to find). I'm just sayin', you are one of the few people who actually likes the kind of weather they have, so you don't even have that it's too cold excuse!

I'm not really too keen (har) on New Hampshire.  As for my love life - I don't think it's in New Hampshire.  It's not here either though.  We'll see.   :lol:

As for Florida, I currently cannot afford a place to live on my own - let alone to pick up and incur moving expenses to another area of the country.  I will say that I have been most unhappy today as it was eighty-four degrees earlier, and I am hotter than an ice cube in Hell right now. 

my right arm for 84


Hell, I'll trade you for free.  I couldn't sleep last night because I was so hot.  And then we finally turned on the air this afternoon and I took a nap for a few hours - still woke up miserable and hot.   :x


it's not the heat....it's the humidity

It's both.  Trust me.  I just don't like being hot.  At all. 

ahh then, the great white north is for you...
* not to  be racist*
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 10, 2008, 06:37:05 PM
Yeah, waking up sweating is miserable.  I'm going to try sleeping with socks on tonight, because it's just my feet that end up being cold when I sleep with no covers. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: JWI on December 10, 2008, 08:02:05 PM
move to where all the libertarians are gonna be
:lol:


You mean the libertarians that live in a state full of statists that will implement an income tax soon?

The libertarians that live in a state that doesn't seem to have a problem putting people in jail over a moldy old couch?

The libertarians that make fun of other people for not doing the same dumb crap as them that gets them thrown in jail?

The libertarians that think a sign and a flag burn will change the world?

Fuck that.  Stay in Florida, moving to NH will only result in heartache when you realized you moved for the same shit you had in your previous state.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Riddler on December 11, 2008, 08:26:59 AM
we got maple syrup
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: JWI on December 11, 2008, 07:57:50 PM
we got maple syrup

so does wal-mart.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Riddler on December 11, 2008, 08:53:57 PM
we got maple syrup

so does wal-mart.


blaspheming bitch.
we get to suck it right out da tree.
& stand around for 14 hrs, drinking like madmen while it boils
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: JWI on December 11, 2008, 08:55:06 PM
we got maple syrup

so does wal-mart.


blaspheming bitch.
we get to suck it right out da tree.
& stand around for 14 hrs, drinking like madmen while it boils

I take the 5 minutes to get it at wal-mart.  Then I have pancakes.  Then I have a drink.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 12, 2008, 01:38:10 AM
Here's a mildly amusing tale from this evening...

So I spent about an hour re-merchandising a display case.  My store is a kiosk, and this means that I had about 85 pieces of product out on the counter, and four backstock boxes out.  So...basically about 140 pairs of Ray Bans.  I see some confused old lady come up behind me and plop her upper body on my counter.  She is behind me, but I saw her out of the corner of my eye in the mirror.  Anyway, since I think it's fucking retarded to come up behind someone and make no noise at all, I ignored her because I knew she just wanted to ask me a question.  So a few seconds later she yells "EXCUSE ME!" and begins to ask her question.  Something about some custom jewelry "stand" in the mall.  I told her I didn't know, but that there was a directory about fifty feet behind her, and that might help her find it.  I wasn't even rude this time, because I seriously had never heard of this place she was talking about.  So she gets a nasty tone with me and says "No no, it's not on there.  Places like this are not on there.  Only stores are".

Of course that got my blood a little hot...and I just looked at her and I'm like "Lady, the place you're talking about...is a store.  It's a business.  THIS is a store, and you'd better believe it's on the directory.  Check the legend.  By the way, the legend is the thing with all the funny shapes that tells you where things like kiosks, restrooms, and pay phones are.  Enjoy."

That's right...I even threw "enjoy!" in there.   :shock:
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: YixilTesiphon on December 12, 2008, 01:53:06 AM
Should have shouted "RAD!" at her as she walked away in a huff.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 12, 2008, 01:54:44 AM
Should have shouted "RAD!" at her as she walked away in a huff.

You're right.  I'll remember that for next time.

When I hit 60, I want one of you to shoot me. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: bakerbaker on December 12, 2008, 01:59:23 AM
So a few seconds later she yells "EXCUSE ME!" and begins to ask her question.  Something about some custom jewelry "stand" in the mall.  I told her I didn't know, but that there was a directory about fifty feet behind her, and that might help her find it.

Do you ever think that your kiosk's close proximity to the directory is causing all these people to ask you where everything is?
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 12, 2008, 02:01:25 AM
So a few seconds later she yells "EXCUSE ME!" and begins to ask her question.  Something about some custom jewelry "stand" in the mall.  I told her I didn't know, but that there was a directory about fifty feet behind her, and that might help her find it.

Do you ever think that your kiosk's close proximity to the directory is causing all these people to ask you where everything is?

There's about two equidistant from me.  And no...I didn't.  When I go to a mall I've never been to before I look at the directory and the thing that says "YOU ARE HERE", and then I find where I want to go, point myself in the general direction, and fucking go there.  It's not rocket science. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: YixilTesiphon on December 12, 2008, 02:45:19 AM
So a few seconds later she yells "EXCUSE ME!" and begins to ask her question.  Something about some custom jewelry "stand" in the mall.  I told her I didn't know, but that there was a directory about fifty feet behind her, and that might help her find it.

Do you ever think that your kiosk's close proximity to the directory is causing all these people to ask you where everything is?

There's about two equidistant from me.  And no...I didn't.  When I go to a mall I've never been to before I look at the directory and the thing that says "YOU ARE HERE", and then I find where I want to go, point myself in the general direction, and fucking go there.  It's not rocket science. 

Yeah, but you're not an idiot. In Barack Obama's America people are more understanding.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Russell Griswold on December 12, 2008, 02:49:18 AM
Old people probably think it's an information desk.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 12, 2008, 02:57:57 AM
Thanks, Brasky.  I'll call you whenever I feel like I need a beatdown.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Russell Griswold on December 12, 2008, 03:00:34 AM
I'll probably go crazy before reaching 47.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 12, 2008, 03:02:53 AM
I hope I do.  :lol:
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Russell Griswold on December 12, 2008, 03:05:35 AM
I hope I do.  :lol:

Cool. Let's go crazy together.  :lol:
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 12, 2008, 03:07:51 AM
That could be dangerous for...you know...them.  :shock:
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Russell Griswold on December 12, 2008, 03:11:14 AM
That could be dangerous for...you know...them.  :shock:

Oh, good call.  :)
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Diogenes The Cynic on December 12, 2008, 02:54:53 PM
So, why dont you just...... get a grown-up job?

Its a good way to avoid all this BS.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 12, 2008, 04:20:42 PM
So, why dont you just...... get a grown-up job?

Its a good way to avoid all this BS.

Oh...right.  Because I hadn't thought of that before. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: blackie on December 12, 2008, 04:26:41 PM
It's not a good job market right now, and it will be getting worse.

December layoffs exceed 100k (http://money.cnn.com/2008/12/12/news/economy/job_cuts/index.htm?postversion=2008121212)
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 12, 2008, 04:33:40 PM
It's not a good job market right now, and it will be getting worse.

December layoffs exceed 100k (http://money.cnn.com/2008/12/12/news/economy/job_cuts/index.htm?postversion=2008121212)

Yeah.  A friend's husband just got laid off from his job of fifteen years.  Something having to do with insurance, I think.  Even if I had a degree, and I had a "grown-up" job, I might still be up shit creek.

It's fine if other people don't respect that I bust my ass at my job - because I'll bet you I respect myself for doing it even less. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 12, 2008, 04:58:59 PM
Its better than none.  Everything else is details.  If you think its worth the trade of time for cash, its nobodys business but yours, (meaniong: anyone, not specifically talking to anybody) .  Some people like the chill of low impact occupations.  Can't say as I blame 'em, sometimes.  So if you can get by on it, enjoy the ride. 

I used to get pretty ugly digging on Hansen because he was a dick, it was just leverage.  He thought that bike gig was the greatest thing since corn off-the-cob.  fact is, its probably the only place in the world where he has any skill that would tolerate his obsessive weirdness.  Otherwise, I don't disrespect people for doing what they do.  I get a little annoyed seeing people waste potential, but I usually don't say anything about it. 

The funny thing is that with retail jobs, especially management ones - there's so much more involved than anyone who hasn't done it would guess.  I mean, at least there is at my job.  Maybe mine is unusual though, but I doubt it. 

Some of the "non grown-up" jobs make everyone's life easier.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: hellbilly on December 12, 2008, 06:50:49 PM
Lindsey- I think you should draw a map with a path from your kiosk to the directory. "You Are Here" would have a little picture of you in the square, leaning over the counter to show the lost person the map, and a star would denote where the Mall Directory sits.

Then all you have to do is say "Yes! I can help you. Here, take a map!"
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Riddler on December 12, 2008, 08:29:29 PM
we got maple syrup

so does wal-mart.


blaspheming bitch.
we get to suck it right out da tree.
& stand around for 14 hrs, drinking like madmen while it boils

I take the 5 minutes to get it at wal-mart.  Then I have pancakes.  Then I have a drink.

you, sir, are a philistine.
no self-respecting new englander would stoop to such levels...
suck the tree...boil the sap...spend thousands of man-hours & dollars to produce
the nectar of the Go........
who am i kidding...
i've never made syrup in my life.
 i will NEVER make syrup
it boggles my fucking mind.."wanna watch sap boil"? ....  to see 40 gallons of tree water turn into ONE gallon of syrup? after  ONLY 14 HOURS????!!!!
"no thanks, ma'am. rather pour hydrochloric acid on my scrotal area...."

my kid would rather have the mrs.cuntworth's, fake-ass, corn syrup-shit-maple-flavored store-bought bottled goo .
so, anyways....we got that going for us.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 12, 2008, 09:13:24 PM
Remind me to hang myself from a light fixture one of these days.

Speaking of syrup...french toast sounds yummy. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Porcupine_in_MA on December 12, 2008, 09:15:45 PM
French toast cooked with lard and sprinkled with lots of powdered sugar and butter on top.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 12, 2008, 09:19:11 PM
French toast cooked with lard and sprinkled with lots of powdered sugar and butter on top.

No lard.  I have my own built-in. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: blackie on December 13, 2008, 08:59:57 AM
Olive oil for hanukkah. It's gunna be great.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Riddler on December 13, 2008, 09:25:15 AM
Remind me to hang myself from a light fixture one of these days.

Speaking of syrup...french toast sounds yummy. 



big time hugs & cunnilinguis for YOU MY DEAR...
happy holiday shit-pile goodness!
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on December 13, 2008, 10:18:11 AM
I need to get a slave to make me french toast...
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on February 25, 2009, 10:00:43 PM
Okay, it's time to bring this thread back from the grave...

So Monday and today I worked in another store because the manager is on vacation.  It was HORRIBLE.  This kind of stuff never happens to me at my store, so I don't know what the fuck is up, but anyway...

Monday, we got shoplifted while I was there - which does not make me happy.  This couple came in, and the man was flapping around yelling at me while his land whale of a girlfriend tried on every pair of expensive fashion glasses we own (theft tactic number one).  He kept arguing with me about his glasses, which he said needed to repaired.  I spent quite a while explaining to him that the spring hinge on his glasses was actually broken in two separate pieces, and that the manufacturer would need to replace the hinge at the factory (these glasses are also WELL outside of their warranty period).  He had told me that he had been in before and the "lady" had told him that a screw needed to be replaced and to come back when someone that could perform the repair was there (Uhhh...no).  Meanwhile the land whale was trying on EVERYTHING and not even looking at herself (theft tactic number two).  So at this point I'm getting a little perturbed that he's calling me an idiot and a liar, and I told him "Sir, I have done this job for almost three years now, and I have seen this happen to a lot of glasses before.  I'm telling you as nicely as I can that this is not a service that we can perform for you on the store level."  His reply was "well I've never seen you here before!"  I told him to rest assured that I was not being any less than completely honest with him, and that since he clearly did not believe a word out of my mouth, I would give him a box, the address and phone number for Revo, a description of his glasses and the problem he's having, and that he should go down to LensCrafters or Sears and have one of the technicians AND someone on the retail side explain the same thing I just did to him. 

So I didn't turn my back, but had to slip in to the back room to retrieve the box for him, and as I resurfaced I saw him attempt to slip a pair of glasses in his pocket on the opposite side of the store from the land whale.  He saw my reflection in the mirror and made a quick gesture to try them on and mess around with them before putting them back in their place. 

I believe it was either when he was forcing me to go through my box of tools and screws to "fix" his glasses, or when another group of young teenage males came in and cornered themselves around the Oakley cases that the land whale took her opportunity and snatched a pair of D&G glasses.  Fat fucking cunt. 

I hate being shoplifted.  Even when I ran the Macy's (open-sell but with locked cases), I was only shoplifted ONCE.  On Black Friday.  With nine million people in the shithole, AND the store wraps around a corner, making it completely impossible to know what's going on on the side opposite to the one the customer you're assisting currently occupies, unless you stood about ten feet diagonal to the corner.  Fuck that place.  I like my kiosk for this reason.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And then today happened.  I swear it seems like people are nastier than usual lately.  Very rarely do I have people get nasty with me at my job.  Like, REALLY nasty.

So today was going well, I had sold a couple pairs of glasses and was working on straightening up the store (The manager told me I could because his organizational skills fail), and in walked another couple.  I greeted them and asked them if they'd had their eyes on a particular brand or style, and the man said to me "JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSST LOOKING" in this long, drawn out, annoyed voice.  I am very pleasant with customers (contrary to my normal bitchy self), and was a bit put off.  So I stood sort of in the middle of things, and tooled around straightening out rows of glasses and whatnot.  I had noticed the man trying on loads and loads of glasses, and not really looking at himself all that closely, so I tried to make some polite conversation, see if maybe he was after a particular model of glasses in the brand case he was currently scavenging, and maybe he didn't see it and assumed we didn't have it, whatever.  He kept replying "JUST LOOKING", and the tone got more and more agitated the few more times he said it.  Well finally they had made their way back to the clearance section at the front of the store, and by then I had figured out what it was he was looking for based on the styles he was trying on.  So I pulled something out of another case and said to him "I think these would work nicely for you" and tried to hand him the glasses.  He took them, turned to me, looked me right in the eyes, and said "You are REALLY getting on my nerves."

If I wasn't afraid for my job (store not making plan, RM pissed off at me because staff is not complying with dress code, etc.) I'd have told him to get the Hell out of my store.  I apologized to him, and said that my job was to help him try and find a pair of glasses that suited his needs and his lifestyle - and nothing more.  As they turned to walk out, I told them to have a nice afternoon.  And I didn't even mutter obscenities after they left. 

MOTHERFUCKERS. 

I'm not sure if there's a full moon or some bullshit, or if maybe the economic climate is making people fucking cranky in general.  Or maybe my sales tactics have become a bit more aggressive and are not suited for an inline environment that is completely open.  At my store, the customer has to ask to try on the glasses, or I have to pull it out and make suggestions.  My number one priority is to get that person talking and to keep them standing there.  If they walk away empty-handed, that's fine.  My goal is to pull enough information from them to find out WHY I did or did not sell them a pair of glasses.  I understand that some people are genuinely just checking things out.  And that's fine.  I know when to back off, but I was most definitely off-target with this guy.  He was just terrible and unnecessarily rude to me.  I don't consider myself pushy, or even a sales person really.  But DAMN.  I'm just not sure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Earlier this morning I had two customers in the store.  One normal one, who was asking some questions and was receptive to my input because he wasn't sure which glasses he liked.  Another came in, and he was checking out different types of cords for glasses because his was getting old and he was looking to replace them.  Then he started to look at glasses and ask some questions.  He told me eventually that he'd had two pairs of Maui Jim glasses and that they had both cracked right down the middle.  Both of them.  In the same place.  Through my astounding powers of deduction, this tells me that something environmental is most likely causing the problem, and that the glasses are probably not defective.  So I asked him which ones he had, and if he saw them there in the store.  He pointed them out, and it is a very light and thin framed glass, but also a titanium alloy as the frame material.  So they are actually very durable.  I asked him (politely, I swear) if maybe he had been wearing the glasses on his head.  He looks at me, shifts his weight, makes the "You're an idiot" noise, and goes "WHERE DO YOU *THINK* I'M WEARING THEM?!".  And I clarified that I meant on the top of his head, when they are not in use.  And as I tried to explain that wearing them in that manner tends to stretch the frame material, and could have easily cracked the drill mount in the lens, he started screaming at me about how I had "ASSUMED", and all of this other stuff.  So I apologized and pointed out that I had merely asked him a question, and was trying to help him figure out why his glasses were not functioning in the way they are supposed to.  I then laid out his warranty information and gave him Maui Jim's contact information and he left.  The other customer that was a few feet away from him looked at me after the guy left and went "What the HECK was THAT?!"  We had a laugh.  Some people are way too touchy. 










For the TLDR crowd, fuck you.  Read each chunk on three separate days.   :lol:
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Diogenes The Cynic on February 25, 2009, 10:36:27 PM
A friend of mine works at Abercrimbie & Fitch. I will assume y'all know the types of personalities that are in the store.

A big girl walks up to the new assistant manager on his first day and asks in an excited voice "Do you have any jeans in such- and-such a size?"

He looks up at her and says "Ewww, NO".

Cue the big girl running out of the store sobbing as the entire staff of store employees laughed.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on February 25, 2009, 10:47:32 PM
A friend of mine works at Abercrimbie & Fitch. I will assume y'all know the types of personalities that are in the store.

A big girl walks up to the new assistant manager on his first day and asks in an excited voice "Do you have any jeans in such- and-such a size?"

He looks up at her and says "Ewww, NO".

Cue the big girl running out of the store sobbing as the entire staff of store employees laughed.

The fat girl should have known better.  Seriously.  In all honesty, I feel bad for a girl in that situation, but if you're fucking stupid enough to put your ass on the line...oh well. 

Also, if my assistant manager did that I would probably have to fire him.  He sounds like an idiot too.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Elitist Bitch on February 26, 2009, 10:03:30 PM
I would personally rather die than shop at an A&F. I still have my self respect, after all.

First, a warning, I may be adding to the TLDR nature of this thread myself.


So, I'm ringing up some painkillers, a course of antibiotics and an antifungal (bonus points if you know why) for a patient. Her boyfriend is there picking them up. He has his name tattooed across his knuckles (I know this because I had to card him for the painkillers). He looks at me as I'm handing him his receipt and asks me if I have any matches.  I just stare at him a moment, then he grins dumbly and says, "Oh yeah, you people probably don't want to encourage smoking, do you?" and saunters off.
__

Later on that evening, it's just me and another tech and the pharmacist. So I'm doing intake and ringing people up, and I take a prescription for a dude who looks like a fully-fledged bro--popped collar, idiotic ball cap, etc. He hands me a prescription and I get all his information.

Fifteen minutes later, it's filled and he returns. It's a treatment for an STD, and I know it. I'm ringing him up and he is smiling at me, while I cringe inside. Then, I hand him his bag and his receipt and he shoots me what he must think is a very winning look and says, "So, babe, what are you up to on Friday night?"

I'm usually the type that will shut a man down without mentioning I'm not single, but I smelled persistence on this one (Or was it the Axe he bathed in? Who knows?) and just smiled and said, "I don't know, you'd have to ask my boyfriend. Besides, it seems like you might want to refrain from having fun for a while."

__

Oh, and another fabulous thing: It is possible to be fired for working more than six hours without taking a lunch break. I was "coached" for this. Coaching is the first step in the "progressive discipline" process. I was on the phone to an insurance company, and I hadn't waded through 20 minutes of menus and held the line for another 10 only to hang up so I could go clock out.  Ironically, they occasionally coach someone for telling customers that we can't help them because we have to clock out so we won't get coached for going over our six.  *SIGH*
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on February 26, 2009, 10:12:30 PM
Kill them with fire, please. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: jeffersonish on March 01, 2009, 02:18:57 AM
If you haven't read or listened to Steve Martin's Cruel Shoes routine, go do it now. I'll wait.

I have to think Steve sold women's shoes at one point in his life. I did and I had a customer that soooo made me think of it. It was my first day I think and she was a long-time customer. She liked the shoes she had on so much, she had ordered a 2nd pair. The shoes had arrived and she was there to pick them up. Of course she had to try them on.

When she took her shoes off, I imagine I gasped under my breath. Her feet were hideously malformed. I started to put the new shoes on her, but they were too small. She insisted I do whatever was needed to force her feet into the shoes which I hesitantly did. When they finally were on, she stood up and told me how great they felt.

As Steve would say, "Later that day Carlos could be heard saying to another customer, 'Well, that's every pair of shoes in the store.... unless of course you'd like to try the CRUEL SHOES.'"


-----------------------------------------------------

One from the other side of the counter...

I was at the taco bell drive-thru with my girlfriend. We just wanted to large diet cokes.. about $1.17 each after tax. When he read the order back, the guy behind the mic called off ONE diet coke. When I told him it was TWO, he explained he had already closed out the order so couldn't add another. He would add it when we got up to the window.

At the window he handed me ONE diet coke and asked for the money for ONE diet coke. I reminded him about the second one. He got that, handed it to me and asked for the money again, but instead of asking for the cost of TWO, he asked for enough for ONE.

To remind him AGAIN about the TWO cokes, I asked, "How much?" He said v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y "A d-o-l-l-a-r s-e-v-e-n-t-e-e-e-e-n" as if I were the idiot. I paid him the roughly $1.17 and left.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: YixilTesiphon on March 01, 2009, 08:31:35 AM
One from the other side of the counter...

I was at the taco bell drive-thru with my girlfriend. We just wanted to large diet cokes.. about $1.17 each after tax. When he read the order back, the guy behind the mic called off ONE diet coke. When I told him it was TWO, he explained he had already closed out the order so couldn't add another. He would add it when we got up to the window.

At the window he handed me ONE diet coke and asked for the money for ONE diet coke. I reminded him about the second one. He got that, handed it to me and asked for the money again, but instead of asking for the cost of TWO, he asked for enough for ONE.

To remind him AGAIN about the TWO cokes, I asked, "How much?" He said v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y "A d-o-l-l-a-r s-e-v-e-n-t-e-e-e-e-n" as if I were the idiot. I paid him the roughly $1.17 and left.


Reminds me of something that happened at a burrito place last weekend. Hadn't been there in over a year, so I didn't really know their routine. But this was one of these college-town places with a chip on its shoulder, so the guy behind the counter treated me like a goddamn moron because I didn't know the names of all their options.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on March 01, 2009, 09:50:28 AM
That reminds me of a recent trip to Steak and Shake.  Right before I went, I looked at their website, and had decided on what I wanted.  I went there, the kid told me they didn't HAVE the chicken sandwich anymore.  So I'm like "...".  I went ahead and ordered a fucking burger (pleh) because I was hungry.  And I order the sides and whatever.  I get up to the window, he says they're out of chili, so I tell him to just take it off the order, because I don't want to substitute anything else and I just want to get my food and leave.  I end up leaving with a burger instead of chicken, fries instead of onion rings (I hate their fries), no chili, and no milkshake.  I was not a happy camper, but I was also only partially clothed, and was not about to go in and kill some idiots whilst not wearing a bra.  I won't be returning. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: JWI on March 01, 2009, 09:56:52 AM
That reminds me of a recent trip to Steak and Shake.  Right before I went, I looked at their website, and had decided on what I wanted.  I went there, the kid told me they didn't HAVE the chicken sandwich anymore.  So I'm like "...".  I went ahead and ordered a fucking burger (pleh) because I was hungry.  And I order the sides and whatever.  I get up to the window, he says they're out of chili, so I tell him to just take it off the order, because I don't want to substitute anything else and I just want to get my food and leave.  I end up leaving with a burger instead of chicken, fries instead of onion rings (I hate their fries), no chili, and no milkshake.  I was not a happy camper, but I was also only partially clothed, and was not about to go in and kill some idiots whilst not wearing a bra.  I won't be returning. 

If you had gone in, they wouldn't have heard you anyway.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on March 01, 2009, 10:01:25 AM
That reminds me of a recent trip to Steak and Shake.  Right before I went, I looked at their website, and had decided on what I wanted.  I went there, the kid told me they didn't HAVE the chicken sandwich anymore.  So I'm like "...".  I went ahead and ordered a fucking burger (pleh) because I was hungry.  And I order the sides and whatever.  I get up to the window, he says they're out of chili, so I tell him to just take it off the order, because I don't want to substitute anything else and I just want to get my food and leave.  I end up leaving with a burger instead of chicken, fries instead of onion rings (I hate their fries), no chili, and no milkshake.  I was not a happy camper, but I was also only partially clothed, and was not about to go in and kill some idiots whilst not wearing a bra.  I won't be returning. 

If you had gone in, they wouldn't have heard you anyway.

Probably not.  Morons. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Bill Brasky on March 01, 2009, 12:03:52 PM
Okay, it's time to bring this thread back from the grave...

So Monday and today I worked in another store because the manager is on vacation.  It was HORRIBLE.  This kind of stuff never happens to me at my store, so I don't know what the fuck is up, but anyway...

Monday, we got shoplifted while I was there - which does not make me happy.  This couple came in, and the man was flapping around yelling at me while his land whale of a girlfriend tried on every pair of expensive fashion glasses we own (theft tactic number one).  He kept arguing with me about his glasses, which he said needed to repaired.  I spent quite a while explaining to him that the spring hinge on his glasses was actually broken in two separate pieces, and that the manufacturer would need to replace the hinge at the factory (these glasses are also WELL outside of their warranty period).  He had told me that he had been in before and the "lady" had told him that a screw needed to be replaced and to come back when someone that could perform the repair was there (Uhhh...no).  Meanwhile the land whale was trying on EVERYTHING and not even looking at herself (theft tactic number two).  So at this point I'm getting a little perturbed that he's calling me an idiot and a liar, and I told him "Sir, I have done this job for almost three years now, and I have seen this happen to a lot of glasses before.  I'm telling you as nicely as I can that this is not a service that we can perform for you on the store level."  His reply was "well I've never seen you here before!"  I told him to rest assured that I was not being any less than completely honest with him, and that since he clearly did not believe a word out of my mouth, I would give him a box, the address and phone number for Revo, a description of his glasses and the problem he's having, and that he should go down to LensCrafters or Sears and have one of the technicians AND someone on the retail side explain the same thing I just did to him. 

So I didn't turn my back, but had to slip in to the back room to retrieve the box for him, and as I resurfaced I saw him attempt to slip a pair of glasses in his pocket on the opposite side of the store from the land whale.  He saw my reflection in the mirror and made a quick gesture to try them on and mess around with them before putting them back in their place. 

I believe it was either when he was forcing me to go through my box of tools and screws to "fix" his glasses, or when another group of young teenage males came in and cornered themselves around the Oakley cases that the land whale took her opportunity and snatched a pair of D&G glasses.  Fat fucking cunt. 

I hate being shoplifted.  Even when I ran the Macy's (open-sell but with locked cases), I was only shoplifted ONCE.  On Black Friday.  With nine million people in the shithole, AND the store wraps around a corner, making it completely impossible to know what's going on on the side opposite to the one the customer you're assisting currently occupies, unless you stood about ten feet diagonal to the corner.  Fuck that place.  I like my kiosk for this reason.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And then today happened.  I swear it seems like people are nastier than usual lately.  Very rarely do I have people get nasty with me at my job.  Like, REALLY nasty.

So today was going well, I had sold a couple pairs of glasses and was working on straightening up the store (The manager told me I could because his organizational skills fail), and in walked another couple.  I greeted them and asked them if they'd had their eyes on a particular brand or style, and the man said to me "JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSST LOOKING" in this long, drawn out, annoyed voice.  I am very pleasant with customers (contrary to my normal bitchy self), and was a bit put off.  So I stood sort of in the middle of things, and tooled around straightening out rows of glasses and whatnot.  I had noticed the man trying on loads and loads of glasses, and not really looking at himself all that closely, so I tried to make some polite conversation, see if maybe he was after a particular model of glasses in the brand case he was currently scavenging, and maybe he didn't see it and assumed we didn't have it, whatever.  He kept replying "JUST LOOKING", and the tone got more and more agitated the few more times he said it.  Well finally they had made their way back to the clearance section at the front of the store, and by then I had figured out what it was he was looking for based on the styles he was trying on.  So I pulled something out of another case and said to him "I think these would work nicely for you" and tried to hand him the glasses.  He took them, turned to me, looked me right in the eyes, and said "You are REALLY getting on my nerves."

If I wasn't afraid for my job (store not making plan, RM pissed off at me because staff is not complying with dress code, etc.) I'd have told him to get the Hell out of my store.  I apologized to him, and said that my job was to help him try and find a pair of glasses that suited his needs and his lifestyle - and nothing more.  As they turned to walk out, I told them to have a nice afternoon.  And I didn't even mutter obscenities after they left. 

MOTHERFUCKERS. 

I'm not sure if there's a full moon or some bullshit, or if maybe the economic climate is making people fucking cranky in general.  Or maybe my sales tactics have become a bit more aggressive and are not suited for an inline environment that is completely open.  At my store, the customer has to ask to try on the glasses, or I have to pull it out and make suggestions.  My number one priority is to get that person talking and to keep them standing there.  If they walk away empty-handed, that's fine.  My goal is to pull enough information from them to find out WHY I did or did not sell them a pair of glasses.  I understand that some people are genuinely just checking things out.  And that's fine.  I know when to back off, but I was most definitely off-target with this guy.  He was just terrible and unnecessarily rude to me.  I don't consider myself pushy, or even a sales person really.  But DAMN.  I'm just not sure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Earlier this morning I had two customers in the store.  One normal one, who was asking some questions and was receptive to my input because he wasn't sure which glasses he liked.  Another came in, and he was checking out different types of cords for glasses because his was getting old and he was looking to replace them.  Then he started to look at glasses and ask some questions.  He told me eventually that he'd had two pairs of Maui Jim glasses and that they had both cracked right down the middle.  Both of them.  In the same place.  Through my astounding powers of deduction, this tells me that something environmental is most likely causing the problem, and that the glasses are probably not defective.  So I asked him which ones he had, and if he saw them there in the store.  He pointed them out, and it is a very light and thin framed glass, but also a titanium alloy as the frame material.  So they are actually very durable.  I asked him (politely, I swear) if maybe he had been wearing the glasses on his head.  He looks at me, shifts his weight, makes the "You're an idiot" noise, and goes "WHERE DO YOU *THINK* I'M WEARING THEM?!".  And I clarified that I meant on the top of his head, when they are not in use.  And as I tried to explain that wearing them in that manner tends to stretch the frame material, and could have easily cracked the drill mount in the lens, he started screaming at me about how I had "ASSUMED", and all of this other stuff.  So I apologized and pointed out that I had merely asked him a question, and was trying to help him figure out why his glasses were not functioning in the way they are supposed to.  I then laid out his warranty information and gave him Maui Jim's contact information and he left.  The other customer that was a few feet away from him looked at me after the guy left and went "What the HECK was THAT?!"  We had a laugh.  Some people are way too touchy. 










For the TLDR crowd, fuck you.  Read each chunk on three separate days.   :lol:

Those are Ebay pirates.  They do that professionally.  They make better money than you and i do put together.  They'll pull a few low-jobs, like toner cartridges, universal remotes, a thermostat at Home Depot, an electric toothbrush.  Baby socks.  Meanwhile, they're rollin' the mall for $$$items. 

The thing is, you can't tell 'em to get the fuck away from your stuff.  You gotta let it play the fuck out.  They know that.  You know that. 

Back in the day, before Carlos Mencia ruined everything, I would have called that situation a Mexican Standoff.  Now, it is Three Retards Who Know Theft Is Eminent.  And none of 'em are Mexican.  I woulda said, cool as shit, "You got caught in a Mexican Standoff, you got any Sarsaparilla?"  and then went on narratin' the film. 

My suggestion is, if you want to prevent that, develop a code word with your mall-cop buddy.  He might not be around all the time, and in this case, it wasn't even your mall.  So, you were pretty much fucked right there...  Excuse my French.  But if your mall cop buddy gets a cell phone call from his chicky-friend and she starts shooting the shit about tornados, or blueberry muffins, or sweedish fish, that means theres an asshole rippin' off your D+G shades at 700 a pop, and he better get his mall-cop ass down there pronto.

Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on March 01, 2009, 07:20:48 PM
Actually, it was my mall.  It was just the inline in our mall.  It's at the other end of the mall relative to my store.  Thing about mall security is that they're not permitted to do much as far as shoplifts go.  They can't detain people, and it's the retailer's responsibility to prosecute.  Also, we are not permitted to pursue shoplifters.  To give you a good example that described mall security, I will tell you about an incident that happened a few weeks ago...

So, some kids were having a fight in the mall on Friday night.  Near the food court, which also houses the 16 screen movie theatre.  Naturally, the busiest area, and full of punk ass teenagers and young adults, and everyone else for that matter.  So one of the security guards goes over to break up the fight, gets a black eye and a bruised jaw out of the deal.  All the kids got was escorted off the property that evening.  Nothing more.  They were not trespassed from the property, nothing. 

I think you might be on to something there with eBay pirate thing.  I've always wondered how these people are making a profit on all this stuff.  I mean, I'm prohibited to buy my glasses with my discount and then resell them.  I realize that doesn't stop most people, but I have some of that pesky integrity lying around somewhere. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Russell Griswold on March 01, 2009, 07:25:22 PM
Brasky has a good point. It's very likely that they are indeed eBay pirates.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Elitist Bitch on March 12, 2009, 04:51:49 PM

The other day I get pulled out from filling to help the guy working the register answer a question from a customer. Turns out homeboy is pissed that he has to present ID for his Sudafed and demanded to know why. I explained that it's now a controlled substance and most states require a prescription now, but Idaho does not. He simply has to present ID and pay for it in the pharmacy. (YES, I think this law is ridiculous, but like laws governing the sale of tobacco and alcohol, I'm personally liable if I sell psuedoephedrine to someone that has bought too much and so forth.) The man proceeds to accuse me of personally making this law. I tell him it's a federal law and if he doesn't like it to write Walt Minnick, Mike Crapo, or Jim Risch (Idaho's senators and north ID's member of the House) and he said, "I'm sure that people like YOU like to have this much control over medicines, don't you?"

I really wanted to yell, "Oh, yes sir, I love being in control of whether your sinuses are open or not!" but I settled for "Have a nice day."
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Bill Brasky on March 12, 2009, 05:40:19 PM
Turns out homeboy is pissed that he has to present ID for his Sudafed and demanded to know why. I explained that it's now a controlled substance and most states require a prescription now, but Idaho does not. He simply has to present ID and pay for it in the pharmacy. (YES, I think this law is ridiculous, but like laws governing the sale of tobacco and alcohol, I'm personally liable if I sell psuedoephedrine to someone that has bought too much and so forth.)

People use those OTC's to make bathtub methamphetamine.  Half-assed Crystal Meth. 

--edit

And no, they don't fill a whole bathtub with it.  Just a Pyrex dish and some goober science. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Laetitia on March 12, 2009, 06:04:21 PM
I really wanted to yell, "Oh, yes sir, I love being in control of whether your sinuses are open or not!" but I settled for "Have a nice day."

Eek! You've just given me a glimpse at what's next. Since the ID/signature for sudafed isn't working as well as they though it would in several states, like Georgia, pharmacists are going to be put on "booger watch" - required to report the level of congestion and/or drippiness of customers to the local authorities, so they can follow up with, of course, the "booger patrol". Or, maybe the L in LEO can stand for Loogie?
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Elitist Bitch on March 12, 2009, 07:56:45 PM
I guess I came off as a little rude in my prior post, so I deleted the first part. My apologies to anyone I unintentionally offended.

Dylboz, I deleted your post because you were rude. Additionally, I've placed you on ignore, I've read nothing from you of late that has had anything positive to contribute to any conversation you've posted in.  Go be rude someplace else, stay out of my threads.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Elitist Bitch on March 12, 2009, 07:59:11 PM
I really wanted to yell, "Oh, yes sir, I love being in control of whether your sinuses are open or not!" but I settled for "Have a nice day."

Eek! You've just given me a glimpse at what's next. Since the ID/signature for sudafed isn't working as well as they though it would in several states, like Georgia, pharmacists are going to be put on "booger watch" - required to report the level of congestion and/or drippiness of customers to the local authorities, so they can follow up with, of course, the "booger patrol". Or, maybe the L in LEO can stand for Loogie?

Customer: *sniffle* Yeah, hi, I need a box of Zyrtec-D....
Pharmacist: *whips out scary instrument of torture* All right, I need to determine your level of congestion so I can decide how much you get. Stand still, this won't hurt for long...
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Bill Brasky on March 12, 2009, 08:05:21 PM
She's just acclimating to the atmosphere of box-store-pharma.  They see the dregs and it becomes very assembly line, us-vs.-them mentality.  
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Rillion on March 12, 2009, 08:06:41 PM
I guess I came off as a little rude in my prior post, so I deleted the first part. My apologies to anyone I unintentionally offended.

Dylboz, I deleted your post because you were rude. Additionally, I've placed you on ignore, I've read nothing from you of late that has had anything positive to contribute to any conversation you've posted in.  Go be rude someplace else, stay out of my threads.

So....you admit that you were rude, and apologized for it, but then deleted Dylboz's post which pointed out that you were rude in the first place because it  was rude?

Ummm.

Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Elitist Bitch on March 12, 2009, 08:13:45 PM
I'm not going to justify it. I don't like his attitude, and I don't want him posting in my threads. I deleted the part of MY post because it was rude, and I deleted HIS post because it was rude. That's it.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Dylboz on March 12, 2009, 09:02:58 PM
I guess I came off as a little rude in my prior post, so I deleted the first part. My apologies to anyone I unintentionally offended.

Dylboz, I deleted your post because you were rude. Additionally, I've placed you on ignore, I've read nothing from you of late that has had anything positive to contribute to any conversation you've posted in.  Go be rude someplace else, stay out of my threads.

So....you admit that you were rude, and apologized for it, but then deleted Dylboz's post which pointed out that you were rude in the first place because it  was rude?

Ummm.



She deleted it primarily because it quoted her, specifically the part she since deleted, wherein she revealed herself to have made some pretty uncharitable assumptions about a guy based on the drugs he was prescribed, and then proceeded to be rude to him on that basis. He apparently picked up on her negative attitude and responded in kind. I called her on that, because I have been treated that way by medical professionals myself. I have similar issues and take a similar kind of medication and I explained why those assumptions are not necessarily true, and that people who have take these medications are not who or what she apparently thinks they are. I also reminded her that she just fills scrips, and does not have access to a patient's entire medical history (not meant to be dismissive of her job, but to point out she lacks sufficient information to pass judgement).

I will say, I may have been a bit rough and blunt, but I wasn't intentionally trying to be rude or abusive toward her, I was just trying to communicate my reaction to the part of her post about this one patient.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Lindsey on March 12, 2009, 10:21:24 PM
That Goddamn psuedoephedrine law makes me want to kick puppies.  And I love puppies. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: rookie on April 24, 2009, 12:03:38 PM
I've been working at a local Wal-Mart as a remodel associate for the past two months or so.  The store's been staying open while undergoing renovations during 1st, 2nd, and 3rd shifts.  It's driving some of the customers up a wall.  One lady was just about yelling at us one day proclaiming that we'd end up losing money, and she'll never shop here again--etc, etc.  For a nation that just elected it's first black president on a capaign sugar coated with promises of hope and change, these people sure do hate change.  The woman turned around to head to whichever department she was looking for.  I turned to a co-worker and said with a wink and a nod, she'll be back.  they aallll-ways come back.

I brush that off my shoulders pretty easy.  Most people are just slightly confused looking for an oil filter in the old automotive department and finding a baby rattle instead, and they will politley thank you when you point them in the right direction.  They'll eventually get used to the new layout of the store once the remodel is done.  And then in about 10 years, we'll tear it all up again.  This company has store planning managers that do nothing but travel to Wal-Marts all across the U.S. and oversee the remodel.  Our second shift manager is from Michigan.

Yesterday I was dragging some scrap shelves out to the warehouse and had to take a break to go take a piss.  For the past week, our regular bathrooms have been under construction, so the company had to rent some portable bathrooms until that was finished.  They're inside a trailor just outside a fire exit that's been propped open.  So I'm walking across the store to this fire exit to take a leak, and as soon as a get there I see these red neck pieces of shit.  I wouldn't have even noticed them had one not opened his mouth.  As I'm walking towards the door, he suggests to me that all the Wal-Marts everywhere oughta get equipped with these trashy trailor bathrooms because they so suit the style of our store...or something.  I look at him, offer an awkward smile, and continue my way into this temporary bathroom setup that's sitting there, probably more for his sake than mine.

I'm taking my piss, pondering what this redneck just said to me, and wondering, If your opinion of this company is so low...why are you even here to begin with?  I get done, I wash my hands, I walk out the door--only to be accosted by this redneck's butch-ugly girlfriend.  She adresses me as "Mr. Wal-mart worker" which wouldn't have bothered me as much if it weren't for the abundance of attitude in the tone of her voice.  For some reason, she decides to open her complaint to me by stating that "she knows how disgruntled I am and that she knows I really don't want to be here right now"...she mentions both these things about three times, which also rubs me the wrong way due to the fact that she's professing to know how I feel.  She essentially wants to bitch at me about the fact that the soap dispenser fell off in the women's end of the temp-trailor bathrooms.  She gives me the fucking dispenser and puts it in my hand.  She tells me I should go get someone to do something about this...blah blah blah...all with a condescending attitude complete with overtones of self-righteousness worthy of New England rednecker welfare-queen.  As politley as I could, I told her I was sorry, but these bathroom fixtures are temporary and don't even belong to Wal-Mart.  If she had any problem with the facilities (I pointed to a logo/phone number printed on the trailor) that she could jot down that number and give them a call when she got home.

I left her to wallow in her bitchiness with her trashy boyfriend/brother whatever as I went on my merry way to continue doing what I was being paid to do.  I would have at least appeased her and told her I'd alert management if it weren't for her fucking bitch attitutude.  And I still hate rednecks.  My reasons are many and legitimate.
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: Rillion on April 24, 2009, 12:09:07 PM
And I still hate rednecks.  My reasons are many and legitimate.

Sounds like Wal-Mart is probably not the best place for you to be working, then. 
Title: Re: Stories of retail hell...
Post by: rookie on April 24, 2009, 12:11:49 PM
And I still hate rednecks.  My reasons are many and legitimate.

Sounds like Wal-Mart is probably not the best place for you to be working, then. 

not around here.  most people are pretty decent, and carry themseleves with some amount of class.
I may have even seen Marissa Tomei buying dogfood last week.