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Elitist Bitch

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #60 on: October 17, 2008, 11:54:55 AM »

I love my cell phone as much as the next person (and probably more), but I really hate it when people gesticulate angrily at you while talking on their cell phones. Drives me insane.

I won't help them if they're on the phone.  It's rude. 

Those bastards at the Blue Devil make me. Fuckers. I don't have to be nice though, I just ring their shit up and glare at them till they get uncomfortable and get their shit together.
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Riddler

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #61 on: October 18, 2008, 05:39:04 PM »

A-fucking-1
the kind of shit that's actually enjoyable to read.

"Caustic, yet funny, in a sick sort of way"
                                                                           - The dead guy & Ebert
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Lindsey

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #62 on: October 18, 2008, 06:00:53 PM »

Goddamn, I almost pissed myself earlier.  I was standing in my kiosk doing some paperwork or typing or something.  I can't even remember because I was so shocked after this happened.  I heard this yelling in the distance behind me.  Sounded like it was maybe 20 feet back.  I heard it getting a little closer but I didn't pay any mind because I figured if someone was talking to me, they would be in front of me.  Logical, right?  Guess not.  And then I hear "ARE YOU DEEF?"  Not deaf...DEEF - pretty close behind me.  So I turn around with a perplexed look on my face and see this cantankerous old prune of a negro jet pilot shrew woman.  And she yells it again, presumably because I look pretty fucking confused as to why someone is shouting that at me.  So here goes the interaction:

Shrew:  YOU DEEF?!
Me:  (In a moderately angry tone) NO.
Shrew:  WELL THEN WHAT WRONG WITCHOO?
Me:  Lady, I'd say the problem is on your end.
Shrew:  *Walks away mumbling*

At this point, I turned around and went to go back to writing or whatever, and I stopped and said to myself "That was rude!" out loud.  So she comes back, and we go around again:

Shrew:  EXCUSE ME?!  WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
Me:  I said that was very rude
Shrew:  *Makes disgusting noise of disgust*
Me:  Ma'am, I'm not here for you to yell at berate because you for some reason have nothing of value to spend your time on.
Shrew:  WELL THEN WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR?
Me:  To run this store.  I'm not here for ANYTHING ELSE.
Shrew:  WELL YOU NOT DOIN' IT.

And then she finally walked away.  For the next like, half an hour or so she was walking in circles around the area giving me dirty looks.  I've certainly had people say worse to me, but it was not for just simply standing there and doing my job.  From what I gather, she was about 20 feet away and was yelling at me for directions, and when I didn't turn around and bend over for her, it did not make her happy.  I swear, between all of the weirdos in that place I'm going to get axe murdered on my way out to my car one of these nights. 
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Riddler

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #63 on: October 18, 2008, 06:12:07 PM »

Goddamn, I almost pissed myself earlier.  I was standing in my kiosk doing some paperwork or typing or something.  I can't even remember because I was so shocked after this happened.  I heard this yelling in the distance behind me.  Sounded like it was maybe 20 feet back.  I heard it getting a little closer but I didn't pay any mind because I figured if someone was talking to me, they would be in front of me.  Logical, right?  Guess not.  And then I hear "ARE YOU DEEF?"  Not deaf...DEEF - pretty close behind me.  So I turn around with a perplexed look on my face and see this cantankerous old prune of a negro jet pilot shrew woman.  And she yells it again, presumably because I look pretty fucking confused as to why someone is shouting that at me.  So here goes the interaction:

Shrew:  YOU DEEF?!
Me:  (In a moderately angry tone) NO.
Shrew:  WELL THEN WHAT WRONG WITCHOO?
Me:  Lady, I'd say the problem is on your end.
Shrew:  *Walks away mumbling*

At this point, I turned around and went to go back to writing or whatever, and I stopped and said to myself "That was rude!" out loud.  So she comes back, and we go around again:

Shrew:  EXCUSE ME?!  WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
Me:  I said that was very rude
Shrew:  *Makes disgusting noise of disgust*
Me:  Ma'am, I'm not here for you to yell at berate because you for some reason have nothing of value to spend your time on.
Shrew:  WELL THEN WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR?
Me:  To run this store.  I'm not here for ANYTHING ELSE.
Shrew:  WELL YOU NOT DOIN' IT.

And then she finally walked away.  For the next like, half an hour or so she was walking in circles around the area giving me dirty looks.  I've certainly had people say worse to me, but it was not for just simply standing there and doing my job.  From what I gather, she was about 20 feet away and was yelling at me for directions, and when I didn't turn around and bend over for her, it did not make her happy.  I swear, between all of the weirdos in that place I'm going to get axe murdered on my way out to my car one of these nights. 


1: negroe "jet pilot"?????????????????
2: negress was a jamaican bitch, ima bettin........ja mahn, wat ees wrong wichoo...?
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Lindsey

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #64 on: October 18, 2008, 06:45:12 PM »

She didn't have an island-y accent or anything.
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Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
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Russell Griswold

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #65 on: October 18, 2008, 06:47:03 PM »

Mmmm-hhhm, can't you see that I'm big, black, an beautifool?!
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Russell Griswold

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #66 on: October 18, 2008, 06:48:44 PM »

I lurched past the gaggle of lame twats gathered in a loose pack of pre-dawn retail loserdom and said something obnoxious in their direction in a slow motion blowoff, like a pirate ship sailing past a herd of rhino stranded on a sand bar.

Holy shit, what a description!  :D
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Lindsey

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #67 on: October 18, 2008, 06:50:41 PM »

Mmmm-hhhm, can't you see that I'm big, black, an beautifool?!

She was an older woman.  Probably 70-ish.  Give or take a few years.  I would expect it from some young hoodrat, but just from looking at this woman - I would not have predicted what came out of her mouth.   :shock:
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Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
         -George W. Bush

Russell Griswold

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #68 on: October 18, 2008, 06:51:53 PM »

Was one of her ass cheeks the size of a dump truck?
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JWI

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #69 on: October 18, 2008, 06:55:25 PM »

I give you people in retail a metric fuck-ton of credit.  I tried it once and lasted 2 weeks before I told a customer to get the hell out of face if they're going to be such a rude asshole.  They claimed "The customer is always right!"  my response was "not when their being an unreasonable dickhead that insults people"

I then took off my little name tag, dropped it on the counter and told my "boss" that "I quit or I'll punch the next rude asshole that comes in here."

I've learned to never ever be a dick to the people working in retail...unless they're complete fucktards.  I've seen many stupid company policies that make the job for some people harder and more frustrating, so me yelling at them just isn't going to help any.

I also tip the poor bastards that wait on tables very well if they do a good job.  I did that for almost 2 years making $2.35/hour and counting on tips to pay the bills.  It's shit work and the people that do it deserve a smile, a thank you and credit for the bullshit they have to put up with from other jackass customers.

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Lindsey

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #70 on: October 18, 2008, 06:58:53 PM »

I give you people in retail a metric fuck-ton of credit.  I tried it once and lasted 2 weeks before I told a customer to get the hell out of face if they're going to be such a rude asshole.  They claimed "The customer is always right!"  my response was "not when their being an unreasonable dickhead that insults people"

I then took off my little name tag, dropped it on the counter and told my "boss" that "I quit or I'll punch the next rude asshole that comes in here."

I've learned to never ever be a dick to the people working in retail...unless they're complete fucktards.  I've seen many stupid company policies that make the job for some people harder and more frustrating, so me yelling at them just isn't going to help any.

I also tip the poor bastards that wait on tables very well if they do a good job.  I did that for almost 2 years making $2.35/hour and counting on tips to pay the bills.  It's shit work and the people that do it deserve a smile, a thank you and credit for the bullshit they have to put up with from other jackass customers.



See, this is the way a reasonable human being would behave.  I mean, I've had people threaten my life because I could not give them a brand new pair of sunglasses FOR FREE because they lost them, they got stolen, their dog chewed on them, etc.  I tell them all the time that I don't make the rules and I don't make the policies.  But you know, I can SORT OF ALMOST understand where they're coming from in the way that at least they're upset because of something.  This woman that was screaming at me today...NOTHING.  I didn't do a Goddamn thing until she attacked me.  Once you fuck with me you're gonna be one unlucky sonofabitch. 
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Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
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Lindsey

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #71 on: October 18, 2008, 07:00:25 PM »

Just pick up the phone and say into it (with nobody on the other end) "Security, this is Sunglass Hut.  I need a guard to escort an abusive customer out of the mall." 

Then tell the woman "You better go, if they take you to the police substation they could hit you with a $250 fine for disorderly conduct.  And it WILL stick, because you're being recorded on a security camera.  After the robbery last week, they don't screw around" 

You know, if she hadn't left so quickly that second time, I would've had my buddy the Russian Torture Specialist (read:  mall security, ex Ukrainian military) escort her out of the building.  He always says to me "In my country, we just shoot them".   :lol:
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Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
         -George W. Bush

Riddler

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #72 on: October 18, 2008, 07:13:01 PM »

I give you people in retail a metric fuck-ton of credit.  I tried it once and lasted 2 weeks before I told a customer to get the hell out of face if they're going to be such a rude asshole.  They claimed "The customer is always right!"  my response was "not when their being an unreasonable dickhead that insults people"

I then took off my little name tag, dropped it on the counter and told my "boss" that "I quit or I'll punch the next rude asshole that comes in here."

I've learned to never ever be a dick to the people working in retail...unless they're complete fucktards.  I've seen many stupid company policies that make the job for some people harder and more frustrating, so me yelling at them just isn't going to help any.

I also tip the poor bastards that wait on tables very well if they do a good job.  I did that for almost 2 years making $2.35/hour and counting on tips to pay the bills.  It's shit work and the people that do it deserve a smile, a thank you and credit for the bullshit they have to put up with from other jackass customers.



See, this is the way a reasonable human being would behave.  I mean, I've had people threaten my life because I could not give them a brand new pair of sunglasses FOR FREE because they lost them, they got stolen, their dog chewed on them, etc.  I tell them all the time that I don't make the rules and I don't make the policies.   But you know, I can SORT OF ALMOST understand where they're coming from in the way that at least they're upset because of something.  This woman that was screaming at me today...NOTHING.  I didn't do a Goddamn thing until she attacked me.  Once you fuck with me you're gonna be one unlucky sonofabitch. 




sooo.... just 'doing your job, eh...?
that's WHAT ALL THE JACKBOOTS SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!RADRADRADRADRADARADARARADAAADRADRADARDARDARDRDARAARD

sorry
« Last Edit: October 18, 2008, 07:19:40 PM by Riddler »
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Lindsey

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #73 on: October 18, 2008, 07:17:32 PM »

Just pick up the phone and say into it (with nobody on the other end) "Security, this is Sunglass Hut.  I need a guard to escort an abusive customer out of the mall." 

Then tell the woman "You better go, if they take you to the police substation they could hit you with a $250 fine for disorderly conduct.  And it WILL stick, because you're being recorded on a security camera.  After the robbery last week, they don't screw around" 

You know, if she hadn't left so quickly that second time, I would've had my buddy the Russian Torture Specialist (read:  mall security, ex Ukrainian military) escort her out of the building.  He always says to me "In my country, we just shoot them".   :lol:

Sounds like a fun guy. 

Haha.  Yeah, he's a nice guy.  At least he's not retarded, like some of the other ones.  This security dude, Dave...he makes me want to bang my head against a white-hot metal spike.  Macy's loss prevention ran by chasing a dude a week or so ago, and since I know them all, they asked me (yelled as they were running by) to call security for back up.  So...ten minutes later Dave sloths down there, and kept asking me fucking questions.  Finally, I repeated that they went toward Sears, expecting him to at least go down there.  HE WALKED THE OTHER WAY.  THE OPPOSITE FUCKING DIRECTION.  FUCK YOU ASSMONGRELS IF YOU WON'T TRESPASS A GUY FROM THE PREMISES THAT DOES NOT SPEND MONEY IN THE CENTER.  ALL HE DOES IS SHOPLIFT THINGS FROM THE MALL.  FUCK YOU ASSHOLES. 
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Lindsey

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Re: Stories of retail hell...
« Reply #74 on: October 18, 2008, 07:18:27 PM »

I give you people in retail a metric fuck-ton of credit.  I tried it once and lasted 2 weeks before I told a customer to get the hell out of face if they're going to be such a rude asshole.  They claimed "The customer is always right!"  my response was "not when their being an unreasonable dickhead that insults people"

I then took off my little name tag, dropped it on the counter and told my "boss" that "I quit or I'll punch the next rude asshole that comes in here."

I've learned to never ever be a dick to the people working in retail...unless they're complete fucktards.  I've seen many stupid company policies that make the job for some people harder and more frustrating, so me yelling at them just isn't going to help any.

I also tip the poor bastards that wait on tables very well if they do a good job.  I did that for almost 2 years making $2.35/hour and counting on tips to pay the bills.  It's shit work and the people that do it deserve a smile, a thank you and credit for the bullshit they have to put up with from other jackass customers.



See, this is the way a reasonable human being would behave.  I mean, I've had people threaten my life because I could not give them a brand new pair of sunglasses FOR FREE because they lost them, they got stolen, their dog chewed on them, etc.  I tell them all the time that I don't make the rules and I don't make the policies.   But you know, I can SORT OF ALMOST understand where they're coming from in the way that at least they're upset because of something.  This woman that was screaming at me today...NOTHING.  I didn't do a Goddamn thing until she attacked me.  Once you fuck with me you're gonna be one unlucky sonofabitch. 
[/quote


sooo.... just 'doing your job, eh...?
that's WHAT ALL THE JACKBOOTS SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!RADRADRADRADRADARADARARADAAADRADRADARDARDARDRDARAARD

sorry

You should be.  That was asinine.  And you fucked up the quotes.  Go take your pillz, mang. 
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Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
         -George W. Bush
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