Okay, it's time to bring this thread back from the grave...
So Monday and today I worked in another store because the manager is on vacation. It was HORRIBLE. This kind of stuff never happens to me at my store, so I don't know what the fuck is up, but anyway...
Monday, we got shoplifted while I was there - which does not make me happy. This couple came in, and the man was flapping around yelling at me while his land whale of a girlfriend tried on every pair of expensive fashion glasses we own (theft tactic number one). He kept arguing with me about his glasses, which he said needed to repaired. I spent quite a while explaining to him that the spring hinge on his glasses was actually broken in two separate pieces, and that the manufacturer would need to replace the hinge at the factory (these glasses are also WELL outside of their warranty period). He had told me that he had been in before and the "lady" had told him that a screw needed to be replaced and to come back when someone that could perform the repair was there (Uhhh...no). Meanwhile the land whale was trying on EVERYTHING and not even looking at herself (theft tactic number two). So at this point I'm getting a little perturbed that he's calling me an idiot and a liar, and I told him "Sir, I have done this job for almost three years now, and I have seen this happen to a lot of glasses before. I'm telling you as nicely as I can that this is not a service that we can perform for you on the store level." His reply was "well I've never seen you here before!" I told him to rest assured that I was not being any less than completely honest with him, and that since he clearly did not believe a word out of my mouth, I would give him a box, the address and phone number for Revo, a description of his glasses and the problem he's having, and that he should go down to LensCrafters or Sears and have one of the technicians AND someone on the retail side explain the same thing I just did to him.
So I didn't turn my back, but had to slip in to the back room to retrieve the box for him, and as I resurfaced I saw him attempt to slip a pair of glasses in his pocket on the opposite side of the store from the land whale. He saw my reflection in the mirror and made a quick gesture to try them on and mess around with them before putting them back in their place.
I believe it was either when he was forcing me to go through my box of tools and screws to "fix" his glasses, or when another group of young teenage males came in and cornered themselves around the Oakley cases that the land whale took her opportunity and snatched a pair of D&G glasses. Fat fucking cunt.
I hate being shoplifted. Even when I ran the Macy's (open-sell but with locked cases), I was only shoplifted ONCE. On Black Friday. With nine million people in the shithole, AND the store wraps around a corner, making it completely impossible to know what's going on on the side opposite to the one the customer you're assisting currently occupies, unless you stood about ten feet diagonal to the corner. Fuck that place. I like my kiosk for this reason.
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And then today happened. I swear it seems like people are nastier than usual lately. Very rarely do I have people get nasty with me at my job. Like, REALLY nasty.
So today was going well, I had sold a couple pairs of glasses and was working on straightening up the store (The manager told me I could because his organizational skills fail), and in walked another couple. I greeted them and asked them if they'd had their eyes on a particular brand or style, and the man said to me "JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSST LOOKING" in this long, drawn out, annoyed voice. I am very pleasant with customers (contrary to my normal bitchy self), and was a bit put off. So I stood sort of in the middle of things, and tooled around straightening out rows of glasses and whatnot. I had noticed the man trying on loads and loads of glasses, and not really looking at himself all that closely, so I tried to make some polite conversation, see if maybe he was after a particular model of glasses in the brand case he was currently scavenging, and maybe he didn't see it and assumed we didn't have it, whatever. He kept replying "JUST LOOKING", and the tone got more and more agitated the few more times he said it. Well finally they had made their way back to the clearance section at the front of the store, and by then I had figured out what it was he was looking for based on the styles he was trying on. So I pulled something out of another case and said to him "I think these would work nicely for you" and tried to hand him the glasses. He took them, turned to me, looked me right in the eyes, and said "You are REALLY getting on my nerves."
If I wasn't afraid for my job (store not making plan, RM pissed off at me because staff is not complying with dress code, etc.) I'd have told him to get the Hell out of my store. I apologized to him, and said that my job was to help him try and find a pair of glasses that suited his needs and his lifestyle - and nothing more. As they turned to walk out, I told them to have a nice afternoon. And I didn't even mutter obscenities after they left.
MOTHERFUCKERS.
I'm not sure if there's a full moon or some bullshit, or if maybe the economic climate is making people fucking cranky in general. Or maybe my sales tactics have become a bit more aggressive and are not suited for an inline environment that is completely open. At my store, the customer has to ask to try on the glasses, or I have to pull it out and make suggestions. My number one priority is to get that person talking and to keep them standing there. If they walk away empty-handed, that's fine. My goal is to pull enough information from them to find out WHY I did or did not sell them a pair of glasses. I understand that some people are genuinely just checking things out. And that's fine. I know when to back off, but I was most definitely off-target with this guy. He was just terrible and unnecessarily rude to me. I don't consider myself pushy, or even a sales person really. But DAMN. I'm just not sure.
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Earlier this morning I had two customers in the store. One normal one, who was asking some questions and was receptive to my input because he wasn't sure which glasses he liked. Another came in, and he was checking out different types of cords for glasses because his was getting old and he was looking to replace them. Then he started to look at glasses and ask some questions. He told me eventually that he'd had two pairs of Maui Jim glasses and that they had both cracked right down the middle. Both of them. In the same place. Through my astounding powers of deduction, this tells me that something environmental is most likely causing the problem, and that the glasses are probably not defective. So I asked him which ones he had, and if he saw them there in the store. He pointed them out, and it is a very light and thin framed glass, but also a titanium alloy as the frame material. So they are actually very durable. I asked him (politely, I swear) if maybe he had been wearing the glasses on his head. He looks at me, shifts his weight, makes the "You're an idiot" noise, and goes "WHERE DO YOU *THINK* I'M WEARING THEM?!". And I clarified that I meant on the top of his head, when they are not in use. And as I tried to explain that wearing them in that manner tends to stretch the frame material, and could have easily cracked the drill mount in the lens, he started screaming at me about how I had "ASSUMED", and all of this other stuff. So I apologized and pointed out that I had merely asked him a question, and was trying to help him figure out why his glasses were not functioning in the way they are supposed to. I then laid out his warranty information and gave him Maui Jim's contact information and he left. The other customer that was a few feet away from him looked at me after the guy left and went "What the HECK was THAT?!" We had a laugh. Some people are way too touchy.
For the TLDR crowd, fuck you. Read each chunk on three separate days.
Those are Ebay pirates. They do that professionally. They make better money than you and i do put together. They'll pull a few low-jobs, like toner cartridges, universal remotes, a thermostat at Home Depot, an electric toothbrush. Baby socks. Meanwhile, they're rollin' the mall for $$$items.
The thing is, you can't tell 'em to get the fuck away from your stuff. You gotta let it play the fuck out. They know that. You know that.
Back in the day, before Carlos Mencia ruined everything, I would have called that situation a Mexican Standoff. Now, it is Three Retards Who Know Theft Is Eminent. And none of 'em are Mexican. I woulda said, cool as shit, "You got caught in a Mexican Standoff, you got any Sarsaparilla?" and then went on narratin' the film.
My suggestion is, if you want to prevent that, develop a code word with your mall-cop buddy. He might not be around all the time, and in this case, it wasn't even your mall. So, you were pretty much fucked right there... Excuse my French. But if your mall cop buddy gets a cell phone call from his chicky-friend and she starts shooting the shit about tornados, or blueberry muffins, or sweedish fish, that means theres an asshole rippin' off your D+G shades at 700 a pop, and he better get his mall-cop ass down there pronto.