Smelly Cat

[Riddler]

get a nice meal.

fuckin' a....i forgot option

e: sell/give to local chinee place (helps to have added teriyaki sauce to cat food for 2 wks prior.....ahhh-soo...marinated from de inside)

[Evil Muppet]

What kind of sick motherfucker would seriously be trying to kill his girlfriend's cat?   I hope she realizes what kind of sadistic asshole you are and dumps your ass.  Because you think that your girlfriend is a slob you want to kill her pets?  What the fuck are you going to do if you have children with this woman?  Murder your firstborn because your wife wasn't quick enough with wiping your child's ass?   

[Riddler]

  What the fuck are you going to do if you have children with this woman?  Murder your firstborn because your wife wasn't quick enough with wiping your child's ass?   

don't be a twat.
old/dying, shit-ass cat & a human child are not to be compared.
only a douchebag (like you) would equate the two....you must(or will be) some aged cunt w/ 37 cats & no other human interaction in your life..

[Diogenes The Cynic]

The simpliest solution is the best. tell your girlfriend she has a smelly pussy, and you wont have physical contact untill she cleans it.

OR

Kill the cat with mercury. buy a few glass thermometers, and put the mercury in an eyedroopr. when the cat is asleep and your girlfriend isnt looking, drop a drop on its back. the mercury will seep through its skin, and after a few weeks of doing this, it will die.

[Riddler]

mercury & a-freeze = slow & painful
chinee place = quik n easy....and tasty

[Andy]

The simpliest solution is the best. tell your girlfriend she has a smelly pussy, and you wont have physical contact untill she cleans it.

 

[Evil Muppet]

  What the fuck are you going to do if you have children with this woman?  Murder your firstborn because your wife wasn't quick enough with wiping your child's ass?   

don't be a twat.
old/dying, shit-ass cat & a human child are not to be compared.
only a douchebag (like you) would equate the two....you must(or will be) some aged cunt w/ 37 cats & no other human interaction in your life..

No.  Its just an indication of the type of person they are.  If they are neglectful in one area then they will be neglectful in another. 

Only a fucking shit stain like you would fail to draw the proper inferences.  Now go fuck yourself. 

[therealritasue]

If the OP isn't a fakepost, then the dude is a total shit stain.

[BonerJoe]

The simpliest solution is the best. tell your girlfriend she has a smelly pussy, and you wont have physical contact untill she cleans it.

 

My job is done.

[conrad from spain]

The simpliest solution is the best. tell your girlfriend she has a smelly pussy, and you wont have physical contact untill she cleans it.

She cleans it.. but she spends a day at my house, then we spend a day at her house.. and there the shit is in the door welcoming us when we walk in..

Which brings me to another smelly pussy story..

When we had only been dating one month, she told me that in the vacant lot next to her living room window, a stray cat had died. She tried contacting the owner but they got no response. She then tried contacting the city hall to see if they would clean it up, and as you might guess, they don't get up off their fat asses ever.

She tried the owner again, but no dice..

I must add that she's a squeemish girl who loves cats, and she wasn't capable of cleaning up a dead stray cat. By this time the cat really started to smell and the stench was permeating the house and she was having company that night. I (reluctantly) volunteered to remove the dead cat.. It was horrible!! I jumped out the window with some bags, picked the damn thing up and a 6in diameter ball of maggots fell out!

I happened to have my camera in my pocket and snapped a quick one to share with you all nice folks:


I almost threw up!! If I had been thinking clearer, I would have made a video because you could see all the maggots wiggling.

I eventually bagged the cat and it went to a dumpster and I re-evaluated my love for this girl. She passed the test, but we still have smelly pussy problems.

Kill the cat with mercury. buy a few glass thermometers, and put the mercury in an eyedroopr. when the cat is asleep and your girlfriend isnt looking, drop a drop on its back. the mercury will seep through its skin, and after a few weeks of doing this, it will die.

I think the risk is too high. I'd have to do it repeated times while she is home. And if I got caught, how would I explain the eyedropper with mercury in it?

[kalmia]

Give it a bath.

Otherwise, you suck as a human.

Both for wanting to kill a cat and not having the balls to discuss it with your girlfriend.

I AM NOT GOING TO GIVE IT A BATH. I ain't doin' shit for that cat.. And yes I DO have the balls to talk about it with her. Her dead grandfather gave her that cat and she loves it dearly. The cat stays until it's dead.

Notwithstanding her undying love for it, she doesn't take care of it very well. She doesn't clean the cat box very often and the damn cat lets her know by taking a shit in the entrance way so it's the first thing you see/smell as you walk in. I'm pretty damn sure he has sprayed that whole damn house but she's so used to it that she doesn't know it. Then she calls me stuck up for not wanting to go to her house..  I try to be clever and invite her to stay at my house, thus perpetuating the neglected cat situation because she's at my house and not home to take care of the cat. The cat gets jealous and attacks her because she's never there! What a nightmare!


[...]

Take a shit in the entry way to her place.  When she complains.  Tell her that that is the way that her cat makes you feel.

[conrad from spain]

Give it a bath.

Otherwise, you suck as a human.

Both for wanting to kill a cat and not having the balls to discuss it with your girlfriend.

I AM NOT GOING TO GIVE IT A BATH. I ain't doin' shit for that cat.. And yes I DO have the balls to talk about it with her. Her dead grandfather gave her that cat and she loves it dearly. The cat stays until it's dead.

Notwithstanding her undying love for it, she doesn't take care of it very well. She doesn't clean the cat box very often and the damn cat lets her know by taking a shit in the entrance way so it's the first thing you see/smell as you walk in. I'm pretty damn sure he has sprayed that whole damn house but she's so used to it that she doesn't know it. Then she calls me stuck up for not wanting to go to her house..  I try to be clever and invite her to stay at my house, thus perpetuating the neglected cat situation because she's at my house and not home to take care of the cat. The cat gets jealous and attacks her because she's never there! What a nightmare!


[...]

Take a shit in the entry way to her place.  When she complains.  Tell her that that is the way that her cat makes you feel.

There's an idea!! I'll get back to you to let you know about her reaction.. What's your prediction?

[miamiballoonguy]

Give it a bath.

Otherwise, you suck as a human.

Both for wanting to kill a cat and not having the balls to discuss it with your girlfriend.

This

[Disaster Monkey]

Shoot it when she's not home ... blame the DEA.

[miamiballoonguy]

Give it a bath.

Otherwise, you suck as a human.

Both for wanting to kill a cat and not having the balls to discuss it with your girlfriend.

I AM NOT GOING TO GIVE IT A BATH. I ain't doin' shit for that cat.. And yes I DO have the balls to talk about it with her. Her dead grandfather gave her that cat and she loves it dearly. The cat stays until it's dead.

Notwithstanding her undying love for it, she doesn't take care of it very well. She doesn't clean the cat box very often and the damn cat lets her know by taking a shit in the entrance way so it's the first thing you see/smell as you walk in. I'm pretty damn sure he has sprayed that whole damn house but she's so used to it that she doesn't know it. Then she calls me stuck up for not wanting to go to her house..  I try to be clever and invite her to stay at my house, thus perpetuating the neglected cat situation because she's at my house and not home to take care of the cat. The cat gets jealous and attacks her because she's never there! What a nightmare!


The truth is I DON'T have the balls to kill it.. Nor would I risk losing her because, eventually every dirty deed is uncovered. There is no perfect crime. I just ask for entertainment/educational purposes.. I can fantasize can't I???

Oh.. and even if i don't kill the cat.. I agree, I suck as a human being. No arguments there.

Can anyone at least give me some ideas of cheap stuff I can buy in a pharmacy and put it in his food?? Or maybe some kind of injection?? Any experience with this.. Just for entertainment purposes..

I don't see what's so hard about giving a cat a bath...  jus make sure that you cut his nails first, or you will regret it.  Then make sure that you have the water drawn, put him in the tub firmly, yet gently, give him a bath, lather him up, and dry him....  it's always funny seeing a wet cat...  LOL  Better yet, give him a bath, and keep him inside, and he will never need a bath again.

As far as the litter box problem goes, I'm looking into getting one of these:  http://www.catgenie.com/.  A little expensive, yes, but think of it this way....  No more scooping, no more smell, no more litter!

One thing that I've noticed is that a lot of men don't like cats...  the way I look at it, female cats usually behave like human women.  Male cats seem to behave like that best friend from high school that came out of the closet...