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Author Topic: Raccoons are assholes.  (Read 7646 times)

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Rillion

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Re: Raccoons are assholes.
« Reply #30 on: October 12, 2010, 04:07:56 PM »

how do they fuck, for chrissakes?

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/732/how-do-porcupines-mate

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Porcupine sex is not the exercise in S&M you might imagine but it does have its kinky aspects. I quote from Roze: "Perhaps the strangest aspect of the interaction is male urine-hosing of the female. The male approaches on his hind legs and tail, grunting in a low tone. His penis springs erect. He then becomes a urine cannon, squirting high-pressure jets of urine at the female. Everything suggests the urine is fired by ejaculation, not released by normal bladder pressure.... In less than a minute, a female may be thoroughly wetted from nose to tail."

Yeah, but that's not the sex part.  This is:

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If the female decides now is the time, she hoists up her rump a bit and raises her tail, the underside of which is quill-less, and curves it up over her back, covering the quills thereon and exposing her genitalia. The male then approaches in a gingerly manner from the rear, walking on his hind legs and taking care to touch nothing with his forepaws but the safe part of the tail. The relevant apparatus having been lined up, docking occurs, followed by "violent orgasm" as the male unloads a year's worth of jism. The act lasts 2-5 minutes and may be repeated several times during the half-day window of opportunity.
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Ecolitan

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Re: Raccoons are assholes.
« Reply #31 on: October 12, 2010, 09:42:26 PM »

I'v wondered, would those noise fence devices that work for dogs also work on vermin like raccoons or skunks?

Doesn't that only work on dogs wearing a special collar?


Those shock the animal.  I know nothing of these noise fences.
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dalebert

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Re: Raccoons are assholes.
« Reply #32 on: October 13, 2010, 11:02:40 AM »

Those shock the animal.  I know nothing of these noise fences.

Me neither.  If an animal makes it through one of those fences, does that mean he's broken the sound barrier?

Turd Ferguson

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Re: Raccoons are assholes.
« Reply #33 on: October 13, 2010, 01:30:23 PM »

I'v wondered, would those noise fence devices that work for dogs also work on vermin like raccoons or skunks?

Doesn't that only work on dogs wearing a special collar?


Those shock the animal.  I know nothing of these noise fences.

Noise fences are often used in conjunction with shock collars. The idea is to get the dog to associate the beeping collar with getting shocked if it keeps going towards the line. I used a shocker on my dog for a little while with an audible "beep" sound that would go off a second before the shock happens. Now, all it takes is the sound of my voice to stop him from running off after some wild creature. He associates "stop!!" with the beep and remembers what happens if he disregards the beep. Fucker has been within inches of getting his ass flattened by cars more than a few times when running after a chipmunk or cat, so for me it was a good trade off for looking like a statist prick using shock treatment on him.
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Some peoples idea of hell is having to mind their own business.

davann

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Re: Raccoons are assholes.
« Reply #34 on: October 13, 2010, 02:42:27 PM »

I'v wondered, would those noise fence devices that work for dogs also work on vermin like raccoons or skunks?

Doesn't that only work on dogs wearing a special collar?


Those shock the animal.  I know nothing of these noise fences.

Noise fences are often used in conjunction with shock collars. The idea is to get the dog to associate the beeping collar with getting shocked if it keeps going towards the line. I used a shocker on my dog for a little while with an audible "beep" sound that would go off a second before the shock happens. Now, all it takes is the sound of my voice to stop him from running off after some wild creature. He associates "stop!!" with the beep and remembers what happens if he disregards the beep. Fucker has been within inches of getting his ass flattened by cars more than a few times when running after a chipmunk or cat, so for me it was a good trade off for looking like a statist prick using shock treatment on him.

Dogs like you being a statist. The bigger the statist you are the more loyal they become, unless they have rabies. Then you should just shoot it along with the neighbor’s cat and any nearby raccoons or porcupines (the N.H. variety) just to be safe.
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