owning a rental property and the sh*t that comes with it...

[Robin]

so recently i have had an absolutely INSANE incident happen with my tenants and it made me start wondering what other shit people have dealt with owning rental homes. do any of you own rental properties and how do you handle some of the ridiculous things your renters do?






my story in cliffsnotes. renters never pay rent on time, always pay in random amounts of cash on different days (to my management company who sucks ass and i am in the process of firing). they always break things and only pay rent on time when they need something fixed.

well, i get an email 10pm on a friday night saying my neighbor was SHOT (wtf?) and that the suspect opened my pump house and hid the gun in it. totally ridiculous because my pump house has to be lifted from a cement block to get into, would take too much time if you shot someone and were running from the cops. the renters are saying the "suspect" hit my water tank with the gun and busted it open and that they had to immediately replace the tank and piping to the tune of $230...

now they must think i am stupid for believing all of this... this is where things get interesting. i send my biker dad out to the property to see what is going on, and MAGICALLY all of the EVIDENCE is missing, the broken tank is gone and the company who "fixed it" does not have it. the police department in my town have no reports at the property i own or any property in the neighborhood. they said there was NO shooting and flat out told me either the management co or the tenants were probably lying to cover something up. call my two neighbors, NONE of them were shot.

what would you do in this situation? it is so bizarre and unreal. why would these people lie about my friend being shot to cover breaking my water pump? did they not count on me being smart enough to call the police to find out the truth?




any of you have weird stories like this to share?????

[Sam Gunn (since nobody got Admiral Naismith)]

I rent.  I'm a good renter, I pay on time with a personal check that will not bounce.  But I found that my new roommates are kinda retarded.  I left a cardboard box full of silverware and plates in the kitchen for a couple weeks after I moved in because there was no space in the cupboards.  Apparently one of them didn't approve.  You'd have thought they'd just tell me that I should put my shit away somewhere or at least left a note on my door or something.  NOPE, this person called the landlord to have him deal with it.  Pretty freakin hilarious.  Landlord calls me and tells me that I had a complaint to put my silverware away.  I'm not even kidding.  I just starting laughing out loud on the phone and said "Are you serious?  You deal with stuff like this?  If I were you I would have told them to take care of their own issues themselves!"  I mean, I understand that they didn't like my silverware/plates in a cardboard box in the kitchen, but couldn't they have just told me themselves?  The landlord is a cool guy and he was just as flabbergasted as I was that they couldn't have just told me themselves straight up.  We had a laugh over the phone and met up later for a beer at the bar and made fun of people who are too afraid to confront basic issues by themselves.

[Riddler]

send yur dad's biker gang over to straighten things out.
failing that, you need to evict

[Sam Gunn (since nobody got Admiral Naismith)]

send yur dad's biker gang over to straighten things out.
failing that, you need to evict

Lulz.  My dad and his friends joke about being a biker gang, when they know that they are just a bunch of old men who like riding fast motorcycles together.

[Robin]

that is insane about the silverware, i mean, some people really are scared to ask people to move their stuff for some reason

i sent the people a 30 days notice, they are month to month since the lease ran out. if they had been honest about the happenings and paid for the damages THEY had to have caused i would not be upset.

obviously they can not afford the house and i found out they hold church in my home on sundays. WTF? really. i do not want to sacrifice my freshly laid lawn to JESUS because these a-holes have all their churchy folks park in my yard and ON MY SEPTIC TANK! my house is NOT ZONED to be a church. they HAVE to go!

[BonerJoe]

Well, now they're just going to destroy the rest of the house. LOL.

[Robin]

i would hope that for their and my sake they just move peacefully without destroying everything they see on the way out, i have a feeling i am going to have to fly home to take care of this in person

[Robin]

no one else have stories to tell about renting or renters????

[Ecolitan]

I once cleaned an apartment where they had kept dogs and cooked meth.  Those dogs had worn a hole through the wall scratching to get out at the front door and one of the bedrooms.  I just finished remodeling a house that had been occupied by renters for 20 years.  There was a litter box in the attic and piss stains on all the cielings.  I had to remove all of the attic insulation (walls didn't have any before I got there) and replace it.  Smells better now, turned into a beautiful home.

[BonerJoe]

We used to have real nasty ones next door. The type of white trash that literally kicked their dog, and leaves skid-marked woman's panties on your bushes out front when you ask them nicely to clean up their stinky trash in front of their place. When they left, almost everything that wasn't bolted down had to be replaced. They even clogged the toilets up with what looked like a week worth of poop just because they got evicted for non-payment.

[blackie]

I've got stories about shitty landlords....

[Robin]

wow joe... undies on the bushes. that is reassuring  

looking more and more like a good idea to send my friendly neighborhood motorcycle club out to kindly assist them with moving when it is time for them to go




go for it blackie, ive been in those shoes as well

[Ecolitan]

I believe Torgo is available for that sort of work.

[davann]

The last place I rented allowed cats but not dogs. Well seemed everyone had cats and for some reason they decided to shit under the bushes next to my door. It was not just one cat. I complained and it was cleaned up once a week by the lawn crew. Problem is, 10 cats shit more often then once a week. The smell was horrible stepping out side the door.

Near the time I was positive I would be purchasing a home I got a dog. This was not a willful act to break the lease but as revenge against the fucking cat lovers. I let that dog shit in front of every neighbor I knew that owned a cat. And I mean right in front of thier doors at times. Needless to say they were upset which just made me happy. The best part was other non-cat owner neighbors started getting small dogs too. It was an all out dog cat war by the time I moved out. Very funny.

[Riddler]

i once had a building full of muslims/negroes/mexicans and chinee.........................