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Sam Gunn (since nobody got Admiral Naismith)

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Offer You Can't Refuse
« on: May 07, 2011, 11:29:42 AM »

I'd like to make you a business offer.

Seriously. This is a real offer. In fact, you really can't turn me down, as you'll come to understand in a moment...

Here's the deal. You're going to start a business or expand the one you've got now. It doesn't really matter what you do or what you're going to do. I'll partner with you no matter what business you're in as long as it's legal..

But I can't give you any capital you have to come up with that on your own. I won't give you any labor that's definitely up to you.

What I will do, however, is demand you follow all sorts of rules about what products and services you can offer, how much (and how often) you pay your employees, and where and when you're allowed to operate your business. That's my role in the affair: to tell you what to do.

Now in return for my rules, I'm going to take roughly half of whatever you make in the business each year. Half seems fair, doesn't it? I think so. Of course, that's half of your profits.

You're also going to have to pay me about 12 percent of whatever you decide to pay your employees because you've got to cover my expenses for promulgating all of the rules about who you can employ, when, where, and how. Come on, you're my partner. It's only "fair."

Now ... after you've put your hard-earned savings at risk to start this business, and after you've worked hard at it for a few decades (paying me my 50 percent or a bit more along the way each year), you might decide you'd like to cash out to finally live the good life.

Whether or not this is "fair" some people never can afford to retire is a different argument. As your partner, I'm happy for you to sell whenever you'd like ... because our agreement says, if you sell, you have to pay me an additional 20 percent of whatever the capitalized value of the business is at that time.

I know, I know. You put up all the original capital. You took all the risks. You put in all of the labor. That's all true. But I've done my part, too. I've collected 50 percent of the profits each year. And I've always come up with more rules for you to follow each year. Therefore, I deserve another, final 20 percent slice of the business.

Oh ... and one more thing..Even after you've sold the business and paid all of my fees, I'd recommend buying lots of life insurance. You see, even after you've been retired for years, when you die, you'll have to pay me 50 percent of whatever your estate is worth.

After all, I've got lots of partners and not all of them are as successful as you and your family. We don't think it's "fair" for your kids to have such a big advantage. But if you buy enough life insurance, you can finance this expense for your children.

All in all, if you're a very successful entrepreneur, if you're one of the rare, lucky, and hard-working people who can create a new company, employ lots of people, and satisfy the public, you'll end up paying me more than 75 percent of your income over your life.

Thanks so much.

That's the offer America gives its entrepreneurs. And the idiots in Washington wonder why there are no new jobs.

   
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anarchir

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Re: Offer You Can't Refuse
« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2011, 01:54:02 PM »

Good work.
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Turd Ferguson

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Re: Offer You Can't Refuse
« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2011, 02:17:50 PM »

Sign me the f--k up man!!!

TWICE!!!
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Riddler

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Re: Offer You Can't Refuse
« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2011, 05:42:04 PM »

thats why ''we'' do many ''green'' jobs, joe
no, not eco-friendly (tho we do)
folding-money friendly.
my accountant poo-pooed this and said, ''well, when you sell your business, thats going to have a profound effect on the gross sales history & therefore your selling price.
dumb bitch.
if i hid $50-70K in a given year, and the gross was $500-750K.......that wouldn't make ANY FUCKING DIFFERENCE to a potentail buyer.
horse-shit anyways.
trade-based businesses are a hard sell.
not like a hardware store, or coffee shop......
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cavalier973

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Re: Offer You Can't Refuse
« Reply #4 on: May 08, 2011, 10:17:36 AM »

I just wholly swiped this and pasted it to facebook.
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Turd Ferguson

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Re: Offer You Can't Refuse
« Reply #5 on: May 08, 2011, 10:30:48 AM »

I just wholly swiped this and pasted it to facebook.

Did you pay your 20% usage fee?
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Some peoples idea of hell is having to mind their own business.

Riddler

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Re: Offer You Can't Refuse
« Reply #6 on: May 08, 2011, 02:06:19 PM »

I just wholly swiped this and pasted it to facebook.


niggas come lookin, i know who to hunt down
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Turd Ferguson

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Re: Offer You Can't Refuse
« Reply #7 on: May 08, 2011, 03:49:44 PM »

I just wholly swiped this and pasted it to facebook.


niggas come lookin, i know who to hunt down

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Some peoples idea of hell is having to mind their own business.

Bill Brasky

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Re: Offer You Can't Refuse
« Reply #8 on: May 08, 2011, 09:02:51 PM »

Go build more battleships, and float them right off the coast.  Protect me from the enemies you created.  I'll give you ten percent to fuck off'a me ninety percent.  Fair and square.

If that ain't alright, then I guess we got a problem.



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