Merry Christmas And Happy New Year to all...

[BKO]

I'm starting to say "Happy Jesus Day" from now on.

[sarararar]

Happy Yule, a Nordic holiday that began hundreds of years before Christmas, in which the strongest men in the family would go out and find the biggest log to set ablaze, and bring in an evergreen tree, one of the only organisms that could survive such a harsh winter.

[ChristianAnarchist]

I really have no problem with people using the greeting "Happy Holidays" as that term is
just another way of saying "Happy Holy Days".  I still like Merry Christmas better but it just
a personal choice.  What really seems a shame is that so many children today don't even
know any Christmas Carols.  I love the old carols and I have lots of them in mp3...

[jamesway]

  I'm gone for the weekend,merry christmas everybody

[fourthgeek]

Sacred Saturnalia!

[Cortaigne]

No one's referenced Festivus yet?  I wanna see feats of strength!

Ave Satanus, to those of you brighter bulbs, as it were.   

"A Hymn to the Morning Star"

Open your heart
To the lord of light
Open your heart, and mind, and let him in
He holds the key
To the throne of might
You are empty
Say his name
And let him in

All hail the dawn
Of a rising star
All hail the crowned and conquering child
The morning will come
For you, at last
No matter how far into night you have strayed
Say his name
Welcome the child

A new world is crawling
From the ashes of the old
Two thousand years
Of guilt and fear
The greatest lie ever told

Out of the wounded sight
Of the dying god
Out of the sacred heart
Of the throttled hen
The blood is the life
The flowing milk
For the infant god
The throne is empty
The cup is full
He approaches, and then

He steps from the shadows
And he opens up his eyes
He spills the blood
Onto the throne
And hurls a curse
Up to the sky:

"I AM THE ADVERSARY
AND MUST REMAIN
THE ADVERSARY."

[TerryGale]

Stolen from the Gonzman..
http://mensnewsdaily.com/blog/gonz/2005/12/christmas-with-louise.htm

Friday, December 23, 2005
 
Christmas with Louise
A Christmas story....... This is an article submitted to a 1999 Louisville Sentinel contest to find out who had the wildest Christmas dinners. This won first prize.

Christmas With Louise

As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings were overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.

One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell those things at Walmart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. If you've never been in a X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse yourself.

I was there an hour saying things like, "What does this do? You're kidding me! Who would buy that?" Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section.

I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush hour. Finding what I wanted was difficult. Love dolls come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry.. I settled for 'Lovable Louise'. She was at the bottom of the price scale. To call Louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination.

On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life.

My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours.

The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more.

We all agreed that Louise should remain in her pantyhose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner.

My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. "What the hell is that?" she asked.

My brother quickly explained, "It's a doll."

"Who would play with something like that?" Granny snapped.

I had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut.

"Where are her clothes?" Granny continued.

"Boy, that turkey sure smells nice Gran" Jay said, to steer her into the dining room.

But Granny was relentless. "Why doesn't she have any teeth?"

Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, "Hang on Granny, hang on!"

My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, "Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?"

I told him she was Jay's friend.

A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home.

The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the pantyhose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa.

The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants.

Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car.

It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember.

Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh.

Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health!

Sincerely,  Jacqueline Carter

[Lindsey]

I really have no problem with people using the greeting "Happy Holidays" as that term is
just another way of saying "Happy Holy Days".  I still like Merry Christmas better but it just
a personal choice.  What really seems a shame is that so many children today don't even
know any Christmas Carols.  I love the old carols and I have lots of them in mp3...

I said happy holidays because someone here could very well be Jewish or celebrate some other form of holiday than Christmas, and they deserve to be wished well too.  Christianity and Christmas aren't the only things out there.   

I sing more Christmas carols on a regular basis than most people can imagine.  Thus is the life of a singer in many performing ensembles during the holiday.  I'm not Christian, and most of them are very religious, but I still like them...it's just all about the music.

[Cortaigne]

I said happy holidays because someone here could very well be Jewish or celebrate some other form of holiday than Christmas, and they deserve to be wished well too.

But us atheists, who have no holiday whatsoever, aren't worthy of well-wishing?

Not like we believe wishing does any good, anyway.

Still.  It's the lack of thought that counts.

[Lindsey]

I'm an atheist too, but people get pissy when you don't wish them well at the holidays...so it's just easier to say it than explain to them that we don't give a fuck because we're atheists. 

[Cortaigne]

I'm an atheist too, but people get pissy when you don't wish them well at the holidays...so it's just easier to say it than explain to them that we don't give a fuck because we're atheists. 

Personally, I get pissy when someone just assumes I'm celebrating something.  (Not to be pissy at you.  I'm just saying in general.)  I'm just extremely frustrated with the stranglehold Christianity has on this culture.  I know it's a federal program, but even that aside:  WHY CAN'T I GET MAIL ON A SUNDAY?  Why did I need to WALK THREE AND A HALF MILES last night for a pack of cigarettes, passing literally a dozen places that would otherwise be open?  And this is to say nothing of the pathological fear of sex -- the puritanical bullshit Ian very rightly decries -- that has fucked up this culture so terribly.  Ungh.  Just ... so ... frustrated.

[fourthgeek]

Speaking of "Ave Satanus", perhaps someone would be interested in this merry little music video.

"Tell me have you played the devil's game called secret santa?
A black charade where you ask 'Whos this from?' and there's no answer
...
You're the darkest bulb upon the tree
And even a blind blind man can see
that your stocking is stuffed with anarchy!"

www.karkis.net - Secret Satan

[fourthgeek]

As sophisticated as that post was, I wonder to whom it was actually directed, and what it had to do with the holidays.

[Braddogg]

Personally, I get pissy when someone just assumes I'm celebrating something.  (Not to be pissy at you.  I'm just saying in general.)  I'm just extremely frustrated with the stranglehold Christianity has on this culture.  I know it's a federal program, but even that aside:  WHY CAN'T I GET MAIL ON A SUNDAY?  Why did I need to WALK THREE AND A HALF MILES last night for a pack of cigarettes, passing literally a dozen places that would otherwise be open?  And this is to say nothing of the pathological fear of sex -- the puritanical bullshit Ian very rightly decries -- that has fucked up this culture so terribly.  Ungh.  Just ... so ... frustrated.

Were the cigarette stores closed because of a Blue Law, or because the stores chose not to be open?  If it's a Blue Law thing, you've got my sympathy.  But in Massachusetts, home of the Blue Laws, we sell cigarettes whenever we want.  And if it's just a store owner's personal choice, then tough shit.  Here in Israel, none of the stores are open Friday evening into Saturday evening.  The cost of a cab goes up a dollar, even the Arab-owned falafal stand and laundrymat (owned by people who don't care about Shabbat) closes, all because of Israeli law.  But in America, a lot of Jewish-owned stores close on their own.  Religion plays into people's personal decisions.  As long as the government doesn't codify religion, I'm fine with it.  Of course, I don't think ANYTHING should be codified....

[Cortaigne]

So.. Do all "anarchists" wear black nail polish and clothe from Hot Topic? Heh.. I sure think so! 

No, actually, I wear business casual pretty much all the time.