Not gonna reply to Bob Robertson point-by-point: not worth my time.
You've already tried to do it, and failed. Glad you've finally admitted defeat.
- Linus manboobs - hahaha, no. It's like calling miniature golf "golf".
It was a joke. Just like the Gates picture. Sorry to have to point that sort of thing out.
Sure, Linux is cheaper to install than Windows - you can only download the parts you need, and install it without burning a CD.
Another lie, AL. Download the entire Debian distribution on 31 CDs or 5 DVDs if you want, with 26,000 software packages from kernels to compilers to web development, multiple browsers, multiple GUIs, multiple video players, multiple audio players, video authoring and editing, hundreds of games, etc. Oh, and that's for each of 12 hardware architectures, mainframes to cell phones, or the entire thing in source code.
OR, not "can only", grab a 35MB bootable business-card CD image.
OR, not "can only", visit
http://goodbye-microsoft.com/ and do a live network install without downloading anything ahead of time.
OR, not "can only", drop by
http://www.VirtualBox.org/ and run VirtualBox on your present machine, boot one of the install CD images, and give it a try.
Then... you spend the week with a "WTF, this is it?! Where's the rest of it!?" feeling before going back to Windows.
Just because it didn't work out for you doesn't mean it won't work for everyone else. From the way you've written, it's clear you were looking for a free-as-in-beer Windows clone.
On that note, have you tried ReactOS.org? If what you want is a clone of Windows, then get a clone of Windows.
But really, considering just what one gets with an install of Windows, it is the sad Windows user who is left to wander the wastelands of third-party software sites hunting for something more useful than FreeCell and Notepad.
It's kinda of like going vegan - your choices are limited, everything tastes like cardboard, but you actually believe Mother Earth is very proud of you. Of course you can't enjoy that supposed virtue for virtue's sake, you gotta find some meat-eaters / Microsoft users and tell them how superior you are. 
Since you started this thread, AL, this last comment is autobiographical by definition.