KEEP THIS IN FUCKING MIND FUCKERS

[John Shaw]

[youtube]0la5DBtOVNI[/youtube]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0la5DBtOVNI

[Turd Ferguson]

I sometimes struggle with the second half of that.

I dont like celery............... and im always a dick about it.

[anarchir]

Dude fuck celergy. It tastes bad and provides no calories. Anything celery can do onions can do better.

[Fred]

yes, celery sucks to me too - I like bell pepper cut up in small pieces instead.

[Turd Ferguson]

Celery is a vile alien weed brought to the planet by some not-so-friendly visitors. Just look at a cross section of it on your table  up close with a magnifying glass...... its weird. Its got alien enineering written all over it.


Theres no other explanation.

[BonerJoe]

[BonerJoe]

Dude fuck celergy. It tastes bad and provides no calories. Anything celery can do onions can do better.

Celery provides a natural source of sodium, nevermind FLAVOR.

And it's a great filler for those on a calorie deficit diet.

[Bill Brasky]

Celery is how you scoop bleu cheese onto hot wings. 

And the light-colored pieces in the middle, heaven.

[Laetitia]

Dude fuck celergy. It tastes bad and provides no calories. Anything celery can do onions can do better.

Celery provides a natural source of sodium, nevermind FLAVOR.

And it's a great filler for those on a calorie deficit diet.

I like celery on it's own, too. Crunching a stalk and tearing the strings with teeth is quite satisfying while snacking on a stressful afternoon.

Celery is also, when paired with apples, my absolute favorite part about stuffing.
Great when juiced with apples, ginger, lemons and spinach, too.

[Diogenes The Cynic]

One of the worst sodas I ever had was this vile celery flavored concoction called Cel-ray[/b.

[Turd Ferguson]

Before I die, im gonna hire Jesse Ventura and all his old Navy Seal buddies to go across the countryside, with flamethrowers, burning down every Celery field that ever was, and ever will be. They wont miss a single one, or they wont get paid.

Yeah, I realize that I capitalized the word Celery. It is a formidable foe and deserves such respect.

If you would like to donate to the cause, send payment to jesssevandfriends_celery_eradication@paypal.com

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2axC-LVXkKg[/youtube]


I'm not being a dick about this, am I?

[Cognitive Dissident]

Celery is a great way to consume dips and crap that tastes good on its own but needs something to scoop it with instead of chips and stuff that adds even more calories (not to mention carbs.)  Stuff like ranch dressing, salsa, nacho cheese sauce, etc.

[Bill Brasky]

Before I die, im gonna hire Jesse Ventura and all his old Navy Seal buddies to go across the countryside, with flamethrowers, burning down every Celery field that ever was, and ever will be. They wont miss a single one, or they wont get paid.

Yeah, I realize that I capitalized the word Celery. It is a formidable foe and deserves such respect.

If you would like to donate to the cause, send payment to jesssevandfriends_celery_eradication@paypal.com

I'm not being a dick about this, am I?

You know, Jesse Ventura is the AntiChrist.  So you can hire him and his minions to do your bidding, but it's always the unforseen angle at the end that'll blindside you.

What'll probably happen is, you'll hire him to eradicate the celery crop, and he will.  But you'll really be paying him to harvest it.  And thus, he'll become the dominant player in the celery cartels, the worlds preeminent celery baron.  And he'll stretch his leathery wings and laugh his hearty laugh, and fly down from his mountain lair with his celery fields laid afore him, and spread his seed across the fertile plains. 

[Turd Ferguson]

Ya know, I thought about this after posting. What I might need to do is hire his arch nemesis, Schwarzenegger, to meet him at the final stop and make sure the job is completed as instructed........ then its a 45. slug for ol' Jesse The Body, courtesy of the gov. I know what yer thinkin'....how the hell can I trust Schwarzenegger? Its simple really.

I dont trust either of them, but the Governator's hatred of "The Body" far outweighs any shenanigans he might pull against me. Once he learns of Jesse's plan to corner the celery market, combied with his own hatred of celery, he will GLADLY make sure my plan is carried out to its bitter sweet end.

Schwarzenegger defeated Satan before. (End of Days) Question is, can he do it again?


Its a gamble im willing to take because the pay-off is immeasurable.


If not............... enjoy your celery, you cretins!!

[Level 20 Anklebiter]

BEST FILM EVER