J.C. Keyser's House of Booze

[Lindsey]

It's like 2:00 here in reality, Keely. 

Pfft.  Fuck it.  Shower time. 

[Keels]

Fuck it,Wild Turkey time.

bro...its like noon. wtf?

I'm just hatin cuz I'm not allowed to drink at work.

Its like, two, and don't let jealousy muddy your posts.

mussy? man + pussy?

[jckeyser]

Fuck it,Wild Turkey time.

bro...its like noon. wtf?

I'm just hatin cuz I'm not allowed to drink at work.

Its like, two, and don't let jealousy muddy your posts.

mussy? man + pussy?

That was right after a shot, I meant muddy.

[Lindsey]

Oh shi- 

[Bill Brasky]

That was some drunk.



I'll have you'se know, I'm still awake from that situation. 

I win.



Serious.

I failed to sleep last night. 


Its not easy being me.

[Lindsey]

So on a scale of 1-10, how easy would it be for me to take advantage of you right now?   

[Bill Brasky]

So on a scale of 1-10, how easy would it be for me to take advantage of you right now?   

No different than any other day.

I'd drill you into froth. 

[Lindsey]

So on a scale of 1-10, how easy would it be for me to take advantage of you right now?   

No different than any other day.

I'd drill you into froth. 

Sounds painful. 

You know...in that way that I'd really, really like it to be.

*Whimper*

[Lindsey]

So on a scale of 1-10, how easy would it be for me to take advantage of you right now?   

No different than any other day.

I'd drill you into froth. 

Sounds painful. 

You know...in that way that I'd really, really like it to be.

*Whimper*

Hows the end of July

Let me check my date book.  Oh...right...

I'm pretty much always ready. 

 

[jckeyser]

Shots, bar, bad.

[Lindsey]

I just got two drunken phone calls from my friend Amanda.

#1:

Amanda:  What are you doing, bitch?  Are you asleep?
Lindsey:  No, I'm trying to wash my face.  Are you drunk?
Amanda:  Oh, okay.  I'll let you go then.  I'm like way fucked up right now.  I'll call you tomorrow while I'm at work.
Lindsey:  Okay, bye.

#2:
Amanda:  HEEEEEEEEEEEY BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH (It's a Mario thing)
Lindsey:  Uhh, hi.
Amanda:  I'm making fucking enchiladas!
Lindsey:  Don't burn the house down
Amanda:  I don't know dawg, I might.  I'm fucking fucked up.
Lindsey:  Perhaps you shouldn't be on the phone while trying to make the enchiladas, then.
Amanda:  MAN, I'M MAKING FUCKING ENCHILADAS FOR LIKE FUCKING 20 PEOPLE, DAWG.  I'M FUCKED UP. 
Lindsey:  Yeah, you mentioned that
Amanda:  OKAY THEN.  Juan might call you later because he might not think I'm talking to you, but I really am.  I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU LINDSEEEEEEEEEEEEEY.  BYE BYE.
Lindsey:  *Click*

[jckeyser]

I just got two drunken phone calls from my friend Amanda.

#1:

Amanda:  What are you doing, bitch?  Are you asleep?
Lindsey:  No, I'm trying to wash my face.  Are you drunk?
Amanda:  Oh, okay.  I'll let you go then.  I'm like way fucked up right now.  I'll call you tomorrow while I'm at work.
Lindsey:  Okay, bye.

#2:
Amanda:  HEEEEEEEEEEEY BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH (It's a Mario thing)
Lindsey:  Uhh, hi.
Amanda:  I'm making fucking enchiladas!
Lindsey:  Don't burn the house down
Amanda:  I don't know dawg, I might.  I'm fucking fucked up.
Lindsey:  Perhaps you shouldn't be on the phone while trying to make the enchiladas, then.
Amanda:  MAN, I'M MAKING FUCKING ENCHILADAS FOR LIKE FUCKING 20 PEOPLE, DAWG.  I'M FUCKED UP. 
Lindsey:  Yeah, you mentioned that
Amanda:  OKAY THEN.  Juan might call you later because he might not think I'm talking to you, but I really am.  I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU LINDSEEEEEEEEEEEEEY.  BYE BYE.
Lindsey:  *Click*

Well at least she's a productive drinker.

[Lindsey]

Not always.  We used to get fucked up in the parking lot after work.  We pretty much just sat there and laughed our asses off with some other people from the Macy's.  Her intent is to get me plastered at every opportunity and try to get me molested by some dude I don't know.  Half of what she says is "We need to get you laid, dawg."   

[jckeyser]

Not always.  We used to get fucked up in the parking lot after work.  We pretty much just sat there and laughed our asses off with some other people from the Macy's.  Her intent is to get me plastered at every opportunity and try to get me molested by some dude I don't know.  Half of what she says is "We need to get you laid, dawg."   

Well, its still more productive than getting drunk and staring at porn.

[Lindsey]

She also tried to get me to come to work on my day off tomorrow and hang out.  Fuck that shit.