J.C. Keyser's House of Booze

[jckeyser]

Maybe a rogue commando demolitions expert who makes his living quelling rebellion in Brazillian mining camps. 

But just in the summer, when the ice road trucker thing isn't happening. 

Jazzy Chair ain't got shit on the Hoveround.

[Bill Brasky]

Are you crazy?

These things are top of the line.  A triumph of engineering.




Now, these things, on the other hand, are drab junk-shop donkey carts.  I'd sooner sit home alone and covered in filth before I even considered using one. 

[jckeyser]

Are you crazy?

These things are top of the line.  A triumph of engineering.




Now, these things, on the other hand, are drab junk-shop donkey carts.  I'd sooner sit home alone and covered in filth before I even considered using one. 

I'd rather someone put me out of my misery before I'd have to use either one.
Those can't be golden years.

[bonerjoe]

My dad has this glorious model:

http://www.1800wheelchair.com/asp/view-product.asp?product_id=1329

[Bill Brasky]

I'd rather someone put me out of my misery before I'd have to use either one.
Those can't be golden years.

Okay, how about one of these?

My dad has this glorious model:

http://www.1800wheelchair.com/asp/view-product.asp?product_id=1329

Wow, dude.  Thats the bomb.  Ever ride around in it? 

[bonerjoe]

Wow, dude.  Thats the bomb.  Ever ride around in it? 

I've driven it to WalMart when my back was all fucked up. It's a fast little bastard.

[Ed]

I'd rather someone put me out of my misery before I'd have to use either one.
Those can't be golden years.

Okay, how about one of these?

My dad has this glorious model:

http://www.1800wheelchair.com/asp/view-product.asp?product_id=1329

Wow, dude.  Thats the bomb.  Ever ride around in it? 

I'd fuckin' take that and ride off the roof of my house with it.

[jckeyser]

I'd rather someone put me out of my misery before I'd have to use either one.
Those can't be golden years.

Okay, how about one of these?
 

Nuh-uh.
This:

[Bill Brasky]

You'll need one of those orange triangular warning flags on it if you take it out of the yard. 

[jckeyser]

This is interesting... Last night I tried cracking open a can of beer, and the thinamajig (can't think of the name right now) that you pull down to open the can, totally snapped off! What's the best way to open it now???

Jab a butterknife into the opening.

[Ed]

Yeah whatever. House of booze? More like house a green ova heare. Smoked a bowly of the green crean.

[Bill Brasky]

I normally let my concubine deal with such issues. 

[Ed]

I wish I had a concubine.

[Bill Brasky]

I wish I had a concubine.

Check that whack-ass Tom Alicare's website, you can get all sorts of freaky slaves and shit there.

[Ed]

Yeah it's a haven for the harem holder.