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Author Topic: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze  (Read 293155 times)

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bonerjoe

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #300 on: August 02, 2007, 12:48:43 AM »

The sexual tension is too much for me. I'm going to bed.

To release said tension, I assume.

I've already done that twice. That's good enough for today. Don't want to wear it out too quick.
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jckeyser

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #301 on: August 02, 2007, 12:49:01 AM »

The sexual tension is too much for me. I'm going to bed.

To release said tension, I assume.

I'm in a position where I cannot relieve said tension because I am in the company of others.  No wonder I've been so mean for the last few days. 

You could in my company.
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John Shaw

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #302 on: August 02, 2007, 12:50:26 AM »

I'm in a position where I cannot relieve said tension because I am in the company of others.  No wonder I've been so mean for the last few days. 

Go into the bathroom, fill tub with bubbles, and roll your frigging bean. What's the problem?
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"btw its not a claim. Its documented fact."

Lindsey

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #303 on: August 02, 2007, 12:51:31 AM »

I'm in a position where I cannot relieve said tension because I am in the company of others.  No wonder I've been so mean for the last few days. 

Go into the bathroom, fill tub with bubbles, and roll your frigging bean. What's the problem?

I never could get off with just my hand... :x
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Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
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John Shaw

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #304 on: August 02, 2007, 12:53:21 AM »

I'm in a position where I cannot relieve said tension because I am in the company of others.  No wonder I've been so mean for the last few days. 

Go into the bathroom, fill tub with bubbles, and roll your frigging bean. What's the problem?

I never could get off with just my hand... :x

You spoiled or something? Clip your nails short so you don't hurt yourself and roll that lil' bastard until it screams.
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"btw its not a claim. Its documented fact."

bonerjoe

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #305 on: August 02, 2007, 12:54:02 AM »

I'm in a position where I cannot relieve said tension because I am in the company of others.  No wonder I've been so mean for the last few days. 

Go into the bathroom, fill tub with bubbles, and roll your frigging bean. What's the problem?

I never could get off with just my hand... :x

I think that qualifies for a handicap parking permit.
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bonerjoe

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #306 on: August 02, 2007, 12:54:49 AM »

roll that lil' bastard until it screams.

Dude, stop, that's making me think dirty thoughts.
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jckeyser

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #307 on: August 02, 2007, 12:55:30 AM »

I'm in a position where I cannot relieve said tension because I am in the company of others.  No wonder I've been so mean for the last few days. 

Go into the bathroom, fill tub with bubbles, and roll your frigging bean. What's the problem?

I never could get off with just my hand... :x

Use mine.
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Lindsey

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #308 on: August 02, 2007, 12:55:49 AM »

I'm in a position where I cannot relieve said tension because I am in the company of others.  No wonder I've been so mean for the last few days. 

Go into the bathroom, fill tub with bubbles, and roll your frigging bean. What's the problem?

I never could get off with just my hand... :x

You spoiled or something? Clip your nails short so you don't hurt yourself and roll that lil' bastard until it screams.

I've tried lots of things.  I fail and go back to the toys. 
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Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
         -George W. Bush

John Shaw

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #309 on: August 02, 2007, 12:56:42 AM »

I got money...millions, in fact...(not trying to brag). I'm thinking Tahiti. I heard they got those sex rings over there. That place is not very regulated from what I understand. It's like a paradise for lovers ....and virgin perverts. Sounds good.

Please stop being you.
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jckeyser

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #310 on: August 02, 2007, 01:05:07 AM »

I'm in a position where I cannot relieve said tension because I am in the company of others.  No wonder I've been so mean for the last few days. 

Go into the bathroom, fill tub with bubbles, and roll your frigging bean. What's the problem?

I never could get off with just my hand... :x

You spoiled or something? Clip your nails short so you don't hurt yourself and roll that lil' bastard until it screams.

I've tried lots of things.  I fail and go back to the toys. 

Which ones?
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jckeyser

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #311 on: August 02, 2007, 01:05:43 AM »

I'm in a position where I cannot relieve said tension because I am in the company of others.  No wonder I've been so mean for the last few days. 

Go into the bathroom, fill tub with bubbles, and roll your frigging bean. What's the problem?

I never could get off with just my hand... :x

You spoiled or something? Clip your nails short so you don't hurt yourself and roll that lil' bastard until it screams.

I've tried lots of things.  I fail and go back to the toys. 

Have you tried what I suggested?
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Elitist Bitch

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #312 on: August 02, 2007, 03:16:35 AM »

Haha this was pretty funny.  I ended up going drinking with my mom.  What a night at my house, and the cops ended up taking a statement from my brother.  We needed a beer.  Too bad we decided on Long Islands instead.
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Sometimes, you have to roll a hard six.

Lindsey

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #313 on: August 02, 2007, 09:58:45 PM »

I'm in a position where I cannot relieve said tension because I am in the company of others.  No wonder I've been so mean for the last few days. 

Go into the bathroom, fill tub with bubbles, and roll your frigging bean. What's the problem?

I never could get off with just my hand... :x

You spoiled or something? Clip your nails short so you don't hurt yourself and roll that lil' bastard until it screams.

I've tried lots of things.  I fail and go back to the toys. 

Which ones?

The ones that allow me to do things. 
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Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
         -George W. Bush

Bill Brasky

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #314 on: August 03, 2007, 02:31:51 AM »

Never attempt to persuade a girl to abandon her dildos.  Encouragement is the key.  Buy her dildos, many of them, of all sizes and shapes.  Long fat ones she'll struggle with, little fun ones she'll hammer away at, and all things between. 

Fingers are nice, obviously.  But to discourage a girl from enjoying herself with a toy is like saying its shameful for her to experiment at her terms.  They are her terms.  Not yours. 

I was in a smut shop one time, looking at vids for sale and browsing around, and in those stores theres always a couple weirdos lurking around.  They always have a few big walls of sex toys, rubber pussies and dildos and all sorts of shit.  This chick comes in alone, she was in her late teens and quite obviously curious about buying a dildo.  Well, once you've steeled yourself into walking into a store that is taboo, and you get inside, its never what you imagined when you're outside in your car, about to take the plunge. 

She was probably never in a sex shop before.  She walks in and sees the wall of toys, heads turn, she walks to the wall and starts browsing.  They have everything.  These assholes over in the corner are giggling and making comments about a girl buying a dildo and she overhears it.  She pretends she didn't, but I can tell she's become very aware of herself standing in front of a wall of dildos and after a few minutes of trying to keep her game face, she bolted.

She left with nothing.  I was really fuckin pissed.  She woulda eventually picked something out, took it home and experimented.  It took a lot of balls for that girl to walk alone into that store and they fucking ruined it on her. 

Don't be a ruiner. 
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