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Author Topic: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze  (Read 293149 times)

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jckeyser

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #135 on: July 23, 2007, 05:12:08 PM »

ONE NIGHT ONLY!!! MAIN EVENT!!
THE STEEL LIVER vs. THE POTTER PRINCESS!!!
C'mon, shiny, lets get it on.



Here we have the implements, southern bourbon and chaser



My good faith first shot



And proof of the boozes demise.

Iggy Pop's "The Passenger" is the tune of choice.
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Elitist Bitch

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #136 on: July 23, 2007, 05:19:30 PM »

Ohh JC, I'll drink with you, but I have to work tonight, I can't get started till later :(
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Sometimes, you have to roll a hard six.

jckeyser

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #137 on: July 23, 2007, 05:20:56 PM »

Ohh JC, I'll drink with you, but I have to work tonight, I can't get started till later :(

Just lemme know kid, my job doesnt start till later this year. When do you get off?
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Elitist Bitch

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #138 on: July 23, 2007, 05:24:41 PM »

10pm, mountain time.  I'm off Thursday, we could do it then, :)
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jckeyser

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #139 on: July 23, 2007, 05:27:46 PM »

10pm, mountain time.  I'm off Thursday, we could do it then, :)

And thus, a deal is made. However, I am half in the bag now, but I guess I can just hydrate and get another bottle then.
I'll just drink the bottle tonight and harass christians and statists.
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aquabanianskakid

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #140 on: July 23, 2007, 05:33:45 PM »

Dear God this is going to be amazing!

I think we should refer to the pictures as Drunkomaticolor or something of the sort.
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Elitist Bitch

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #141 on: July 23, 2007, 05:36:47 PM »

10pm, mountain time.  I'm off Thursday, we could do it then, :)

And thus, a deal is made. However, I am half in the bag now, but I guess I can just hydrate and get another bottle then.
I'll just drink the bottle tonight and harass christians and statists.


Excellent...

And "Potter Princess"...I like it!
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Sometimes, you have to roll a hard six.

jckeyser

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #142 on: July 28, 2007, 11:17:53 AM »

10pm, mountain time.  I'm off Thursday, we could do it then, :)

And thus, a deal is made. However, I am half in the bag now, but I guess I can just hydrate and get another bottle then.
I'll just drink the bottle tonight and harass christians and statists.


Excellent...

And "Potter Princess"...I like it!

Shiny no drinky Thursday night.
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Bill Brasky

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #143 on: July 28, 2007, 01:02:41 PM »

A few nights ago, I was in my usual spot and drinkin Stoli's at a rapid fire rate.  Fuck the beer, I had no time for that foolishness.  So, I crawl away and return the next evening and politely demand the necessary lubrication to slide me into the proper frame of mind.  

The bar wench picks up the bottle, and much to our dismay it is empty.  My heart sank, and I cried "This is an outrage!" to all the concerned citizens who had assembled to stand in my presense.  A clamor arose from my people and they peppered the responsible party with darts, beer mugs and billiard balls.  A man broke free of the crowd and held a burning torch demanding blood.  

The barman ran to the nearest phone, punched the numbers and hastily spoke into the receiver "Emergency!  We need Stoli!"  And slammed the phone down, now at the mercy of his fate and time.

"How about Absolut Citron?" He asked, stalling for time and trying to placate me while the restless crowd stood silently staring at him, the torch lay burning on the bartop as a constant reminder of his failure.  

"Sure."  He poured it, and the bottle ran dry.  A bead of perspiration slid down his face and hung from the tip of his chin.  

I rattled the ice and it appeared to be a full glass, this could work for the moment.  I took a sip and a little man of indeterminant age came forth and asked "Is it good, Brasky?"  I nodded my approval and he turned to the crowd "Its good!  He likes it!"  A wave of rapture rolled through the assemblage and a woman in the back said "But theres no more!"  and wept openly.  Her displeasure swept through the crowd like water over flames, and they became angry again.

"You bastard!"  The little ageless man spat at the barman as melting vinyl popped and sizzled in agreement.  I heard the slow metallic precision of a pistol being cocked, and at that very moment Jen walked in with a long brown bottle bag, and held it aloft.  

Orgasmic hysteria smashed through the place like a tidal wave, an explosion of joy so profound it provoked spontaneous lactation in every woman present regardless of age.  They all began dancing and in their frenzy of celebration the dance soon became an orgy, they squirmed and writhed on the floor like a nest of snakes.  

So, I had a few snorts and meandered away for the evening, satisfied and pleasantly buzzed.  The next day I returned and asked for a Stoli, and the bar wench picked up the bottle, it was less than half full.  "Who's been chopping away at my bottle?"  I asked.  

"Well, uh, nobody else drinks that here...  But don't worry, I have another, just got it today."  

"Good idea." I said.  

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jckeyser

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #144 on: July 29, 2007, 02:00:44 PM »

Evan Williams and Big K cola.
White trash, muhfucka!
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Lindsey

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #145 on: July 29, 2007, 02:15:02 PM »

Evan Williams and Big K cola.
White trash, muhfucka!

Eep.  No WT. 
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Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
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jckeyser

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #146 on: July 29, 2007, 02:27:46 PM »

Evan Williams and Big K cola.
White trash, muhfucka!

Eep.  No WT. 

Wha?
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Bill Brasky

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #147 on: July 29, 2007, 02:31:45 PM »

I think I'm gonna tell 'em to forget the ice cubes next time.  They just get in the way.  And without a proper ratio of ice to vodka, there is no consistancy. 
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jckeyser

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #148 on: July 29, 2007, 09:54:20 PM »

I think I'm gonna tell 'em to forget the ice cubes next time.  They just get in the way.  And without a proper ratio of ice to vodka, there is no consistancy. 

I just keep my liquor in the freezer.
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jckeyser

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Re: J.C. Keyser's House of Booze
« Reply #149 on: July 29, 2007, 09:54:53 PM »

Evan Williams and Big K cola.
White trash, muhfucka!

Eep.  No WT. 

Eep is what?
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