I'm A Prostitute

[Amazing Richard]

I just want to make art. I want to make beautiful paintings. But, in order me to go down in the history books....I will have to have sex with my "patrons"...and I'm OK with that.

All these rich divorced wives, living on alimony, and looking for love. I like older women, but I'm not just going to fuck their pussies for nothing. I'm an artist. I can't work. I can hardly make art. But when I mix my sex with it...I'm going to win!

I simply cannot maintain a "job". I can't do it. I have to go about things in other ways. There is nothing more repulsive to me than having a "job".

Can't you tell that my mind wants to be free? Why do you have to give me so much trouble? Why can't I do those normal things that normal people can do!??!?

It's because I lack "Patrons". I MUST IMPRESS THEM!! I have to sell it to them! And if they don't support me ...than they will be responsible for my early death.

I can't work. I'VE TRIED! When I work ...I want to die....This is the mind of a real artist.

[Amazing Richard]

Although, a female artist may never make it to the top, due to the "glass ceiling" and "white power" and things like that.....it remains so easy for a female be an "artist". She simply has to marry a dude, and she can be an artist, and the dude will pay her way....so long as she washes the dishes and his dirty underwear.

What about me? I'm living with my parents, now. I'm a bum. I'm a lazy mother fucker. That's not cool.

The famous painter Paul Klee married some piano teacher chick. She taught piano, and he worked on his art, and he cleaned up the house or, and basically did female work, at a time when that was considered totally unacceptable. Given his humiliating position, he still became one of the most popular artists of all time.

Ya...I went broke...I had to come back. What's going to happen to me? Are my parents going to have to take care of me for the rest of their lives????

Why can't I just get a "job"? ...and take care of my own shit??? The alcohol has nothing to do with it.

Clearly...I do not really care...one way or the other. I'm living in a kind of dreamworld.

I despise work. If my parents were not so nice....I'd be on the streets....or probably dead.

[Terror Australis]

You want to fuck your mum don't you?

[YixilTesiphon]

What the shit?

[John Shaw]

What the shit?

It's Richard.

[YixilTesiphon]

What the shit?

It's Richard.

As in Canadian drunkard Richard? That makes it all make sense.

[hellbilly]

I can't work. I'VE TRIED! When I work ...I want to die....This is the mind of a real artist.

HALT!

An artist produces art, employed or otherwise.

Where's yer art, R3?

[blackie]

I can't work. I'VE TRIED! When I work ...I want to die....This is the mind of a real artist.

HALT!

An artist produces art, employed or otherwise.

Where's yer art, R3?

Cigs and pubes, ice tails, and nipple hairs.

Working makes me want to die too, but I still do it. Wanting to die is not so bad.

[Riddler]

fag is fag.
will never be an artist.
be sucking smelly cocks for a can of soup.

[ForumTroll]

How much?

[sillyperson]

R3 really misses the good old days of alt.bizarre

[Amazing Richard]

I can't work. I'VE TRIED! When I work ...I want to die....This is the mind of a real artist.

HALT!

An artist produces art, employed or otherwise.

Where's yer art, R3?

That's not accurate. Once an artist becomes successful, he/she may produce art, in the attempt to cash in.

Most of the time, artists are too busy doing drugs, and fucking up their lives, or getting stuck in mental hospitals, than they are making art. This problem is one of the top things that frustrates art dealers. The art dealers may be wanting the art, but the artists are sitting around producing nothing. If they do make something, it will just be some crap, and the art dealer will have to try to figure out a way to get the artist to make better things.

Those of us that have no art dealer are mostly getting drunk and high on drugs, and trying to get laid. Since nobody wants to support the unknown artist, there is no point in making too much stuff that will not sell, and will have to be stored in yer parents' basement. I told my artist friend the other day, "Don't make too much stuff...it will just clutter up the place, because you can't sell it, and that will make you more crazy."

The beauty of Cig N' Pubes, The Ice Tail, Dawning Of The Opera Gloves, and things like that, is that it does not take up much space.

I'm going in a new direction, though. I want to start making money. This book I am reading about "A Life In The Arts" says "make peaches, not potatoes". I am convinced. I used to make potatoes, but now I am going to make "peaches", and sell my "peaches" to the rich divorced women that I will also be having sex with.

This is my new strategy.

[hellbilly]

You is a trip Richud 

The 60's artist scene.. I think you're right, but not for today's. Today's "artists" are the Shepard Faireys of the world... he's making peaches for sure.

You're meandering towards the Boyd Rices of the world, what with the pranksterishnesses that you indulge in. You have a core theme, but it needs to branch further out if'n you're to make it.

There is also the type of artist who refuses to produce art for others, particularly the mainstream. Am artist gal I once knew told me that.. "I know I can create lovely stuff. But why bother creating it and showing it to the very people I dislike?" - so she didn't.

[Amazing Richard]

How much?

I will not be selling anything for under $2000. An average sized painting will go for 3-5 grand. As part of the package, I will fullfill yer sexual fantasy ...so long as you do not have herpes, or aids, and you are not a sadist.

Are you still interested?

[Amazing Richard]

You is a trip Richud 

The 60's artist scene.. I think you're right, but not for today's. Today's "artists" are the Shepard Faireys of the world... he's making peaches for sure.

You're meandering towards the Boyd Rices of the world, what with the pranksterishnesses that you indulge in. You have a core theme, but it needs to branch further out if'n you're to make it.

There is also the type of artist who refuses to produce art for others, particularly the mainstream. Am artist gal I once knew told me that.. "I know I can create lovely stuff. But why bother creating it and showing it to the very people I dislike?" - so she didn't.

The book I just re-read encourages artists to make "peaches" in order to get one's "foot in the door". It makes perfect sense. Most people just don't like potatoes, and I really don't blame them. These folk want to look at something nice. Most rich people want "peaches", not "potatoes".

And you know what? I want "peaches", too. Not long ago, I came across a bunch of Manet's still life paintings, and I was blown away. I used to hate still life paintings, and pictures of flowers and things like that. I figured I was too cool for shit like that.

But, now I want to make them.

Most rich people like "peaches". They don't want "potatoes" on the wall. I don't even want "potatoes" on my wall, anymore. Fuck "potatoes"!

My folks want me to make a 7 foot tall painting so that they can stick it in the inside of the entry of their new house. They have agreed to finance the picture, and to purchase a projector that I want to experiment with, in order to get the job done. I'm gonna paint a "peach": a piliated woodpecker on a Birch tree with some oak leaves to the left. It's going to look great....no pubic hair....cigarettes...or anything like that. Just a "peach".