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Author Topic: Depressing Poetry Contest  (Read 18531 times)

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Riddler

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Re: Depressing Poetry Contest
« Reply #30 on: May 08, 2010, 07:08:37 PM »

it's rainy, raw & shitty today.
could only be worse if i was gay,
so lazy this mornin', i put on but one sock,
guess i'll go slap the 'ol lady w/ my flacid cock.

After I slapped her it was no longer flaccid.
Fucked her hard, came, dropped some acid.
Laid there sweating, swore I saw snakes in the grass.
Took off my sock and stuffed it up the 'ol ladies ass.

she writhed & wiggled,
it bothered her some....
but not as much as curtains & cum...
you see, i was lazy & instead of t-paper,
i wiped my cock on the 'ol window draper

The Draper collapsed with all of that toil,
I shouldn't have lubed up with that motor oil,
But she was into it, in her ass, she's quite randy,
and in the rush, that oil was all I had handy.
And now there she lays in a hell of a huff.
Just because I got bummed and did some stuff.

so i got up outta bed & made me a snack,
the bitch was all flustered, with oil in her crack,
i said, ''hey bitch, get busy'', the doors have a creak,
rub your twat on the hinges, so the fuckers don't squeak.
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alaric89

  • Guest
Re: Depressing Poetry Contest
« Reply #31 on: May 09, 2010, 06:09:50 AM »

it's rainy, raw & shitty today.
could only be worse if i was gay,
so lazy this mornin', i put on but one sock,
guess i'll go slap the 'ol lady w/ my flacid cock.

After I slapped her it was no longer flaccid.
Fucked her hard, came, dropped some acid.
Laid there sweating, swore I saw snakes in the grass.
Took off my sock and stuffed it up the 'ol ladies ass.

she writhed & wiggled,
it bothered her some....
but not as much as curtains & cum...
you see, i was lazy & instead of t-paper,
i wiped my cock on the 'ol window draper

The Draper collapsed with all of that toil,
I shouldn't have lubed up with that motor oil,
But she was into it, in her ass, she's quite randy,
and in the rush, that oil was all I had handy.
And now there she lays in a hell of a huff.
Just because I got bummed and did some stuff.

so i got up outta bed & made me a snack,
the bitch was all flustered, with oil in her crack,
i said, ''hey bitch, get busy'', the doors have a creak,
rub your twat on the hinges, so the fuckers don't squeak.

With my little request she looked even madder.
But then I noticed for the top hing, she needed a ladder.
So I put up the ladder, when I was done on the can.
No one can say I'm a unreasonable man.
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Riddler

  • Guest
Re: Depressing Poetry Contest
« Reply #32 on: May 09, 2010, 11:38:55 AM »

the ladder gave way & she fell with a crash,
she bitched & she moaned as she sat on her ass,
i said, ''what the fuck are you doing, your job is not done''
then she chased me out the door with a 12 gauge shotgun.
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alaric89

  • Guest
Re: Depressing Poetry Contest
« Reply #33 on: May 09, 2010, 12:42:03 PM »

I ran like hell, but she shot me in the back.
And I laid there bleeding on the wet tarmac.
I looked across the sidewalk and saw some children play.
Thought to myself, Fuck its rainy, raw & shitty today.
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Riddler

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Re: Depressing Poetry Contest
« Reply #34 on: May 09, 2010, 02:30:26 PM »

well done, my friend
and nice touch on the finish
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alaric89

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Re: Depressing Poetry Contest
« Reply #35 on: May 09, 2010, 02:49:15 PM »

Right back atcha.
*wipes tear* Yes that poem is truly a thing of beauty, thank god my wife doesn't speak English.
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alaric89

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Re: Depressing Poetry Contest
« Reply #36 on: May 25, 2010, 04:28:29 PM »

Everyone thought the lion was broken.
Hopping though hoops as the master had spoken.
He would try to sleep every night but get a hell of a fright,
when the drunken master would rattle his chain.

He would dream of freedom on the savanna.
Running and hunting through the open plains of Africa.
But the whip would crack just meeting the skin on his back.
'cause the trainer got compliance through pain.

Outside the beast was chained to a stake.
The master thought he never had a worry to take.
But steel isn't always to trust because it might start to rust,
especially when used so often, out in the rain.

The Master and the Trainer again hit the drink.
They were happy and blind with no ability to think.
They wanted to mess in the lions lair but the chain was no longer there,
and now the force and compliance no longer remain.


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Sam Gunn (since nobody got Admiral Naismith)

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Re: Depressing Poetry Contest
« Reply #37 on: May 26, 2010, 02:52:28 PM »

What's with all this gay emo shit?
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"Do not throw rocks at people with guns." —Hastings' Third Law
"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." —Herman Wouk 

"If you want total security, go to prison. There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on. The only thing lacking... is freedom." - Dwight D. Eisenhower

alaric89

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Re: Depressing Poetry Contest
« Reply #38 on: May 26, 2010, 04:20:59 PM »

Oh you Know me, love that androgousness- androgonessesseseses *fuck* androgynous cloths and mascara, the cockring is on order.
Seriously though you'd be surprised how many rednecks like to write poems. Many hide it though.
Do Jewish Rednecks only do jokes? :)
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Sam Gunn (since nobody got Admiral Naismith)

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Re: Depressing Poetry Contest
« Reply #39 on: May 26, 2010, 11:18:52 PM »

Oh you Know me, love that androgousness- androgonessesseseses *fuck* androgynous cloths and mascara, the cockring is on order.
Seriously though you'd be surprised how many rednecks like to write poems. Many hide it though.
Do Jewish Rednecks only do jokes? :)
That's just me.  Depressing Poetry is Depressing.  I don't like to be depressed.  I like to enjoy life and laugh and smile :D  Hence the joke thread.
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"Do not throw rocks at people with guns." —Hastings' Third Law
"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." —Herman Wouk 

"If you want total security, go to prison. There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on. The only thing lacking... is freedom." - Dwight D. Eisenhower

alaric89

  • Guest
Re: Depressing Poetry Contest
« Reply #40 on: May 27, 2010, 02:28:56 PM »

Oh you Know me, love that androgousness- androgonessesseseses *fuck* androgynous cloths and mascara, the cockring is on order.
Seriously though you'd be surprised how many rednecks like to write poems. Many hide it though.
Do Jewish Rednecks only do jokes? :)
That's just me.  Depressing Poetry is Depressing.  I don't like to be depressed.  I like to enjoy life and laugh and smile :D  Hence the joke thread.
I'll just assume you didn't read me and Dragline's work above. It's not very depressing. I laughed my ass off reading his parts and enjoyed writing mine.
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Alex Libman

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Re: Depressing Poetry Contest
« Reply #41 on: May 27, 2010, 03:13:03 PM »

Queer I appear here,
But that was... so... moving!
The rhyme... so... clear!
The theme... so...  alluring!

I'll never see motoroil
The same way again!
You made my blood boil,
My tears drip like rain!
« Last Edit: May 27, 2010, 03:16:53 PM by Alex Libman »
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alaric89

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Re: Depressing Poetry Contest
« Reply #42 on: June 22, 2010, 11:14:58 AM »

Well, here you are to say how you know better.
To judge, to decide and run things alltogether.
As you can see we were getting things done.
And here you come like we were just having fun.
No, to make a omelet you have to break a few eggs.
To get somewhere you should move your legs.
We want wealth when you only worry about pollution.
You cant see your the problem not the solution.
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TimeLady Victorious

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Re: Depressing Poetry Contest
« Reply #43 on: June 22, 2010, 02:29:51 PM »

Pills - life. Pills - death.
If I take the right pills I'll have life. If I take the wrong pills I'll have death.
But who is to know what is wrong or right?
Wrong might be if I slash my wrists by the wrist. Right might be if I slash my arms.
Take the right pills, I might still be alive.
Take the wrong pills, I might still be dead.
If I take enough of the right kind of the wrong -
I'll wake up with my stomach pumped in the emergency room.
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ENGAGE RIDLEY MOTHER FUCKER

alaric89

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Re: Depressing Poetry Contest
« Reply #44 on: September 28, 2010, 03:09:55 PM »

She kept something the state claimed as their right,
so the system used her as a way to give fright.
We were full of excuses, the people who agreed with her stand,
and when push came to shove, no help was at hand.
The Bail bondsmen and the hunters he hired,
were honest traders making good on a deal transpired.
True enough, I say, I would have to agree,
If some little point didn't bother me.
A judge can make a huge bail, so help she would have to call....
No, those men don't work for the bad guys at all.
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