Depressing Poetry Contest

[Alex Libman]

You can't have a genuine economic depression without some hobo songs, and hobo songs need depressing lyrics!  They don't have to be any good -- in fact the worse the better -- but they do have to be original and rhyme, sorta.  Here, I'll set the mood:

Hush little baby, don't say a word, Daddy's IRA still has GM and Ford. If he cannot find more computer work, Daddy will work as a simple clerk. And if the stock market drops too low, Daddy's gonna stand next to a Home Depo. If no one hires him to fix their roof, Daddy's gonna film a Ghostbusters spoof. If "Sweded" movies don't sell well, He'll dig up some graves gold rings to sell. If daddy is caught and he goes to jail, His boyfriend - nah, that's an old wives' tale! Cause daddy works hard and can swing a spade, They'll let him out for the big crusade! Not the Christian kind with 'ol Billy Graham, But to invade Syriana-land for Uncle Sam! If daddy's convoy gets IED'ed, Daddy will die proud for the land he freed! In Syriana-land we must succeed, No matter how many men must bleed, Because their oil back home we need, Daddy died to lower the gas price a bit.

[YixilTesiphon]

That may be the highest-quality post you've written in months.

[CaL DaVe]

 

[NHArticleTen]

You can't have a genuine economic depression without some hobo songs, and hobo songs need depressing lyrics!  They don't have to be any good -- in fact the worse the better -- but they do have to be original and rhyme, sorta.  Here, I'll set the mood:

Hush little baby, don't say a word, Daddy's IRA still has GM and Ford. If he cannot find more computer work, Daddy will work as a simple clerk. And if the stock market drops too low, Daddy's gonna stand next to a Home Depo. If no one hires him to fix their roof, Daddy's gonna film a Ghostbusters spoof. If "Sweded" movies don't sell well, He'll dig up some graves gold rings to sell. If daddy is caught and he goes to jail, His boyfriend - nah, that's an old wives' tale!              Cause daddy works hard and can swing a spade, They'll let him out for the big crusade! Not the Christian kind with 'ol Billy Graham, But to invade Syriana-land for Uncle Sam! If daddy's convoy gets IED'ed, Daddy will die proud for the land he freed! In Syriana-land we must succeed, No matter how many men must bleed, Because their oil back home we need, Daddy died to lower the gas price a bit.

bravo!

[Alex Libman]

Hey, I didn't start this thread just for my own talentless drivel...

Anyone?

Anyone?

[JWI]

Hey, I didn't start this thread just for my own talentless drivel...

Anyone?

Anyone?

Libman...

Thou must....

Shut...

The....

Fuck Up............................................sadly.

[hellbilly]

My very own (really):

No one knows my pain and sorrow,
Only you,
And you're tomorrow.

[TimeLady Victorious]

It takes courage to live a life
That's pointless.
Why bother living in a world that's dead?
Kill yourself, and kill everybody else before you.

[John Shaw]

Here's my entry -

O' Shameful temptress!
Wicked she came!

I, a man brung low by her wiles.
From me she took the greatest gift.
And left me nothing but ash and DUST.

WOE! Woe the man who falls to her grasp.
This black mistress of hate and fear.

The state she is! THE STATE SHE IS.
And I lay upon the ground, fucked.

fin~

[Rillion]

01/08/03

If only the baby knew
that there would come a time when every day
she would drag herself from the dreaming womb,
stand in the cold under hot rain,
pull on several extra layers of skin
and head out into the world to ensure her continued existence.

[AL the Inconspicuous]

That's very good, everybody.

Keep `em coming...

[TimeLady Victorious]

The end comes . . .
Hot white phosphorus rains down from the sky.
Burning - burning - burning women and children.
Everyone deserved it, collective punishment.
While the men with the rockets hide out and laugh at it.

[davann]

My entry.

I am Sad.

Fin.

[CaL DaVe]

Meh, I gave it a shot. I'm somewhat proud of it.

Living in society is not my thing
I hate the foney smiles they bring
dressed in fashions, I could care less
Her mind is filled with such nonsense
If she were to think one bit
She would cry, thrash,  and undoubtedly hit
But talk about what shoes to wear
or how she should do her hair
and you know that she will be right there

Days and days of mindless crap
while the big boys lay the trap
Her minds refuse to think at all
One global meathead on this blue ball
Yet my dome is part of this shit
Her wars and bitching and hissey fits
I know they will do me in for sure
I can't live without her and there is no cure
So I for one hate society
She will only bring sorrow to me

-Cal Dave



I once read this one in a bathroom stall during my time at UC Berkeley. Which by the way, had the all time smartest bathroom stall graffiti I have ever seen.

He who writes upon these walls
Rolls his shit into little balls
Those who read these words of wit
Eat those little balls of shit

[AL the Inconspicuous]

Caroling and later some original lyrics put to good use in the Free State:

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If anyone out there ever took music lessons, something like this would be a really good chance to put them to good use.