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Author Topic: Deep thoughts  (Read 15084 times)

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Turd Ferguson

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Re: Deep thoughts
« Reply #30 on: September 15, 2011, 06:41:33 PM »

straight women are smarter than gay women compared with gay men being smarter than straight men...

so, we need more straight women to hook up with gay men?

No, you hayseed. The straight women answered "the earth", which is the wrong answer, more than anyone else. Means they are the dumbest, according to this chart. The bigger the bar, the dumber.
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Laetitia

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Re: Deep thoughts
« Reply #31 on: September 15, 2011, 06:42:54 PM »

So roughly 7.5% of people taking quizzes on OKCupid are major idiots.

As opposed to the other 92.5%, who just have more time than sense.
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hellbilly

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Re: Deep thoughts
« Reply #32 on: September 15, 2011, 06:43:18 PM »

In all honesty, and in defense of the ladies, the Earth does look bigger from here.
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BonerJoe

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Re: Deep thoughts
« Reply #33 on: September 15, 2011, 06:44:26 PM »

You never see anyone try and peel a grapefruit.

I just did. It tasted amazing.
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Turd Ferguson

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Re: Deep thoughts
« Reply #34 on: September 15, 2011, 06:47:13 PM »

"DARE PERTEKTING ARE FREEDUMS"
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BonerJoe

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Re: Deep thoughts
« Reply #35 on: September 15, 2011, 06:48:22 PM »

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BonerJoe

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Re: Deep thoughts
« Reply #36 on: September 15, 2011, 06:50:20 PM »

My cat is always so affectionate after using the litterbox. Just right now she jumped on my bed and started meowing and purring, whilst smelling of fresh cat poo waft.

I can't explain why.
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John Shaw

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Re: Deep thoughts
« Reply #37 on: September 15, 2011, 07:55:34 PM »

My cat is always so affectionate after using the litterbox. Just right now she jumped on my bed and started meowing and purring, whilst smelling of fresh cat poo waft.

I can't explain why.

We've come to realize that new babycat Mortimer has a chemical weapons manufacturing facility up his ass.

Having six cats means having many litter boxes. We have a biggun in the bedroom. Never an issue with stink before. Now Mort waits until around four a.m. and then lays a full sized Tootsie Roll (tm) into the box. It actually gives off green gas and the air shimmers around it. Woke Melissa up from a dead sleep the other night.

Me: ZzzZZzZZzzz

Mortimer Brewster Shaw: *PLOPPLOPHUFFHUFFSKSKSKSKSHHHSHHSHHHEWTHUD* Kekeke

About a minute later -

Melissa: "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST CAT" *COUGHCOUGH*

Me: "Whuhhuh? ... ... ... OH FUCK."  *Grabs radioactive tongs and biohazard suit*

Mortimer Brewster Shaw: "Mrow?" *Sits down between our heads, ass facing Mel*

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Level 20 Anklebiter

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Re: Deep thoughts
« Reply #38 on: September 16, 2011, 04:00:48 PM »

My cat is always so affectionate after using the litterbox. Just right now she jumped on my bed and started meowing and purring, whilst smelling of fresh cat poo waft.

I can't explain why.

We've come to realize that new babycat Mortimer has a chemical weapons manufacturing facility up his ass.

Having six cats means having many litter boxes. We have a biggun in the bedroom. Never an issue with stink before. Now Mort waits until around four a.m. and then lays a full sized Tootsie Roll (tm) into the box. It actually gives off green gas and the air shimmers around it. Woke Melissa up from a dead sleep the other night.

Me: ZzzZZzZZzzz

Mortimer Brewster Shaw: *PLOPPLOPHUFFHUFFSKSKSKSKSHHHSHHSHHHEWTHUD* Kekeke

About a minute later -

Melissa: "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST CAT" *COUGHCOUGH*

Me: "Whuhhuh? ... ... ... OH FUCK."  *Grabs radioactive tongs and biohazard suit*

Mortimer Brewster Shaw: "Mrow?" *Sits down between our heads, ass facing Mel*



This needs a flash animation to illustrate the shit shimmer effect.
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Fred

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Re: Deep thoughts
« Reply #39 on: September 18, 2011, 11:00:54 AM »

John, that just sounds sick to me - you willingly allow cats in your bed?  I'm quickly losing all respect......
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John Shaw

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Re: Deep thoughts
« Reply #40 on: September 18, 2011, 12:10:11 PM »

John, that just sounds sick to me - you willingly allow cats in your bed?  I'm quickly losing all respect......

Lemme guess, they steal baby's breath and they did 9/11 along with the reptilian Jews?

ARE MY CATS FREEMASONS?!?!? TELL ME.

Also cats sleep wherever the fuck they want. They're cats.
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Turd Ferguson

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Re: Deep thoughts
« Reply #41 on: September 18, 2011, 01:48:39 PM »

Lemme guess, they steal baby's breath and they did 9/11 along with the reptilian Jews?

 

I can see the 9/11 angle, but stealing the breath away from a baby? Pffffft.
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Turd Ferguson

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Re: Deep thoughts
« Reply #42 on: September 19, 2011, 06:58:22 PM »

Got a haircut today.

Woman cutting hair was pushing her pubic area really hard against my elbow.

Kept trying to move it.

Didn't matter.

She kept finding it.

What up with that?
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BonerJoe

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Re: Deep thoughts
« Reply #43 on: September 19, 2011, 07:15:50 PM »

Got a haircut today.

Woman cutting hair was pushing her pubic area really hard against my elbow.

Kept trying to move it.

Didn't matter.

She kept finding it.

What up with that?

Barbers do that to me a lot. Usually on my had, because it's griping the edge of the arms of the chair.

Their balls feel cold.
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Fred

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Re: Deep thoughts
« Reply #44 on: September 19, 2011, 07:52:13 PM »

Got a haircut today.!

.
Woman cutting hair was pushing her pubic area really hard against my elbow.u

Kept trying to move it.

Didn't matter.

She kept finding it.


What up with that

Mike, I think it means you should grab her tit or anything you want to))))))))))just like in a dream...........

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