Facts about Dave Grady
He has had only 3 friends his entire life. One is his therapist, one is his case worker and the other was Marty Robbins from the 3rd grade.
He has 6 fingers on his right hand.
Doctors believe his brain is no larger than a walnut.
His main diet is Hot Pockets, Goobers and Monster energy drinks.
He used be known as Pleasant Valley Guy but has since branched out to encompass the entire Hudson Valley.
He has attended every Dutchess County Fair since 1979.
He raped a Poughkeepsie woman named Lisa who has since put a bounty on his head.
Looking at Hot Wheels toys makes him extremely horny.
He hasn't had a girlfriend in over 6 years.
His last girlfriend was just an internet date in an online chat room that lasted for 36 minutes.
He masturbates to Z Rock jingles.
He bought a toothbrush in 2003 and has since only used it 3 times.
His annual income from "working" is roughly $4,600 per year. NY State taxpayers foot the bill of $20,000 per year for his housing and living expenses.
Dave never buys toilet paper. How he cleans himself after defecating is a mystery.
He enjoys warm blankets, cold drinks and hot chicks.
On his computer, he stores video footage of hot chicks from the Dutchess County Fair as well as children and farm animals, unbeknownst to all of them.
He did not kill that cat, GEORGE DID!!!
He wears sunglasses because he's cross-eyed.
Dave has 32 teeth in his mouth. 6 of them are actually his own.
He will not leave his house when an airplane is flying overhead due to those mysterious chem trails.
His sneakers and socks smell like landfill and a sewage treatment plant , seaweed and mustard.
The King's Court apartment fire was indeed started by Dave. After being placed there, he didn't like it and wanted to move so he lit a match and collected all his belongings and stored them in his car.
When aroused, Dave's penis will grow to well over two and a half inches.
Dave writes in caps to avoid any unnecessary capitalization.
One of his favorite things to do is to jar his own farts. He farts into glass jars and quickly caps them for later use. In his cupboard he stores his prized fart collection.
He hates children, dentists, gays and all black people.
His favorite videos on YouTube are cat videos, Transformers and Star Wars.
Since 2005 he's had a total of 13 different YouTube accounts.
He does laundry once per month but to save money, never uses detergent.
He takes medication because he suffers from Asperger Syndrome and mild retardation as well as delusions and anger disorder.
Some of his own videos are actually called vignettes as he sometimes thinks he's a heel in the WWE. He thinks teeth clenching and vulgarity will make a better point with his audience.
Growing up he was fascinated with red balloons, finger puppets, pet stores and black and white pornography.
He enjoys coming to Craigslist, Free Talk Live Forum and the DS board because he loves to see his name in print and loves the attention he receives. He fears the day that people stop writing about him.
He thinks his sound system in his car is "state of the art". Computer speakers and miles of wires provides him with the best quality the state of NY can buy.
One of his favorite things to do is think up clever alternate names for local places in the Hudson Valley such as Stop and Plop, Fuckway over the Mudson and Pizza Slut. He feels these names will someday catch on with the general public.
His fingernails are long and sharp because the boils and scabs come off easier.
He idolizes Rosco P. Coltrane, Snoopy, Optimus Prime and Mallory from Family Ties.
His breath is equal to a pungent, putrid, death vapor that kills flies and mosquitoes on contact. He suffers from 6 forms of gingivitis but says it doesn't bother him.
2nd graders can write, spell and proofread better than him.
His favorite holiday is Halloween but gets upset every year and wonders why the children don't Trick or Treat at the Battered Women's Shelter.
His favorite saying to tell his viewers is "I'm that guy!"
When he was born the doctor, the nurses and the receptionist all slapped his mother.
His father refuses to acknowledge his existence and cringes when he hears the name "Dave".
Dave likes to hang out at arcades, Chuck E Cheese, ice cream parlors and on line at the Ferris wheel.
He drives by the Swamp Pool House at least once a month.
He enjoys stealing videos from other YouTube members and posting them as his own.
He has trouble getting to sleep at night because he stays up and thinks of more ways to piss people off.
He enjoys walking the rail trails because sometimes he pretends he's a train.
He masturbates using household condiments such as jelly, butter, mayonnaise and fruit cocktail syrup.
He doesn't smile for fear his teeth will fall out.
Girls in high school used to call him "Chick Repellent".
Hair refuses to grow on and around his asshole for fear of death by stench.
His I.Q. usually hovers around 26.
He will go down in history as an unintelligent, confused, waste of human flesh that never learned anything in life except how to be the world's biggest asshole.
Everything that's written about him he deserves and brings on himself. He is an enigma, mentally challenged and an attention-seeking douchebag equal to a malignant tumor that just will not go away.
He CAN help himself but chooses not to because negative attention is better than no attention at all.