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Author Topic: Dating Rant  (Read 126361 times)

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Rillion

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Re: Dating Rant
« Reply #105 on: September 20, 2010, 06:47:07 PM »

They are. Not that most women would get them in overtly exposed areas anyways. So, I would have no way of knowing if anyone I went out on a date with would have one because womenfolk tend to cover up.

Yes, but my thinking is that if you've restricted your dating pool to only orthodox Jews, your chances of finding a "heavily tattooed biker chick" are pretty much nil.  Right?  That's why I said you were thwarting your own happiness in the other thread. 
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davann

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Re: Dating Rant
« Reply #106 on: September 20, 2010, 07:41:45 PM »

Doesn't it seem a little bigoted to restrict one self to only Jew women? I thought this went away after the whole Eugenics fad. One would think Jews, of all people, would have dropped this practice of keeping the "blood lines pure".

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Rillion

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Re: Dating Rant
« Reply #107 on: September 20, 2010, 08:07:35 PM »

Doesn't it seem a little bigoted to restrict one self to only Jew women? I thought this went away after the whole Eugenics fad. One would think Jews, of all people, would have dropped this practice of keeping the "blood lines pure".

If taste in dating can be bigoted, then we're all bigots in some way or another. 
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Diogenes The Cynic

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Re: Dating Rant
« Reply #108 on: September 20, 2010, 08:51:00 PM »

They are. Not that most women would get them in overtly exposed areas anyways. So, I would have no way of knowing if anyone I went out on a date with would have one because womenfolk tend to cover up.

Yes, but my thinking is that if you've restricted your dating pool to only orthodox Jews, your chances of finding a "heavily tattooed biker chick" are pretty much nil.  Right?  That's why I said you were thwarting your own happiness in the other thread. 

Pretty much.

I am not sure of the happiness thing, however. Its like people who think blonds are attractive wont be unhappy finding a redheaded spouse because hair color is so much less of a person than personality, attitude, and character.
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I am looking for an honest man. -Diogenes The Cynic

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Rillion

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Re: Dating Rant
« Reply #109 on: September 20, 2010, 09:01:50 PM »

Pretty much.

I am not sure of the happiness thing, however. Its like people who think blonds are attractive wont be unhappy finding a redheaded spouse because hair color is so much less of a person than personality, attitude, and character.

Yes, but a) you didn't just express an appreciation for "tattooed biker chicks," but an actual hope for finding one to be with, and yet b) you're deliberately "shopping" for women in a pool that is almost certain to contain no such people.  That's a little different from someone who generally prefers blonds ending up with a redhead; it's more like someone who deeply craves to be with a blond steadfastly refusing to even look at anyone but redheads.  Like looking for a vegetarian date, but restricting your search to steakhouses.  I.e., shooting yourself in the foot. 
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John Shaw

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BonerJoe

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Re: Dating Rant
« Reply #111 on: September 20, 2010, 09:17:42 PM »

I don't think ultra orthadox Jews do motorcycles.
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libertylover

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Re: Dating Rant
« Reply #112 on: September 21, 2010, 06:57:26 AM »

Went on a date, and did the most stereotypical thing ever. Talked in the lobby of a hotel. Pleasant girl. Hope I made a good impression.
What are you a pedophile?  Girl!?  Shouldn't you be dating women?  If she is a woman and your attitude is that women are immature or girls that will show.  A woman with any self esteem will interpret that as disrespectful and undesirable.  It is a clue to someone being a potentially abusive partner.  If you have a problem respecting women then you might want to address that first.  Because dating for a potential marriage partner can be harmed by that attitude.  And if you are dating immature women as potential marriage partners it is a big mistake.  Cause when they grow up they tend to leave or make the relationship miserable if they feel trapped by religious requirement.
You are a fucking psycho.
And you are a fucking asshole.  I get it anonymous jerkwad on the internet doesn't like me well right back at you.
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libertylover

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Re: Dating Rant
« Reply #113 on: September 21, 2010, 07:08:44 AM »

Went on a date, and did the most stereotypical thing ever. Talked in the lobby of a hotel. Pleasant girl. Hope I made a good impression.
What are you a pedophile?  Girl!?  Shouldn't you be dating women?  If she is a woman and your attitude is that women are immature or girls that will show.  A woman with any self esteem will interpret that as disrespectful and undesirable.  It is a clue to someone being a potentially abusive partner.  If you have a problem respecting women then you might want to address that first.  Because dating for a potential marriage partner can be harmed by that attitude.  And if you are dating immature women as potential marriage partners it is a big mistake.  Cause when they grow up they tend to leave or make the relationship miserable if they feel trapped by religious requirement.

You're reading into the girl/woman thing a bit much.

Alaric, there is hope yet!
People's attitudes can be subliminal.  If a man addresses women as girls.  It could indicate an attitude you are not even aware you are projecting.   It potentially indicates peter-pan* syndrome.  The peter-pan* type tends to live at home, have a job with little to no responsibility or spend all their money on toys and other frivolous pursuits.    It is something for personal self examination and reflection.  Cause it is a big red flag a person is not really ready for marriage even if they feel socially pressured to get married.  And if that does not fit you it isn't your problem so don't take it personally.  However, it tends to be a problem in our society and worthy of consideration. 

*Note:  Even though it is called peter-pan syndrome there are plenty of women who refuse to grow up.
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davann

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Re: Dating Rant
« Reply #114 on: September 21, 2010, 02:27:37 PM »

Went on a date, and did the most stereotypical thing ever. Talked in the lobby of a hotel. Pleasant girl. Hope I made a good impression.
What are you a pedophile?  Girl!?  Shouldn't you be dating women?  If she is a woman and your attitude is that women are immature or girls that will show.  A woman with any self esteem will interpret that as disrespectful and undesirable.  It is a clue to someone being a potentially abusive partner.  If you have a problem respecting women then you might want to address that first.  Because dating for a potential marriage partner can be harmed by that attitude.  And if you are dating immature women as potential marriage partners it is a big mistake.  Cause when they grow up they tend to leave or make the relationship miserable if they feel trapped by religious requirement.

You're reading into the girl/woman thing a bit much.

Alaric, there is hope yet!
People's attitudes can be subliminal.  If a man addresses women as girls.  It could indicate an attitude you are not even aware you are projecting.   

Sorry, LibLov, but that sounds like a bunch of new age Woman’s Lib crap one would hear spewing from a Berkley female professor that doesn’t shave her legs or pits. Along the lines of all male/female sex is rape.
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Diogenes The Cynic

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Re: Dating Rant
« Reply #115 on: September 21, 2010, 02:44:12 PM »

I don't know what to make of this, but the womans mother called the shadchan, and said that she didn't want to go on another date with me. She said we're on different wavelengths, because "I'm too smart for her"

The shadchan said she would try to find a smarter girl.
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I am looking for an honest man. -Diogenes The Cynic

Dude, I thought you were a spambot for like a week. You posted like a spambot. You failed the Turing test.

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Trillian

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Re: Dating Rant
« Reply #116 on: September 22, 2010, 12:20:43 AM »


People's attitudes can be subliminal.  If a man addresses women as girls.  It could indicate an attitude you are not even aware you are projecting.   It potentially indicates peter-pan* syndrome.  The peter-pan* type tends to live at home, have a job with little to no responsibility or spend all their money on toys and other frivolous pursuits.    It is something for personal self examination and reflection.  Cause it is a big red flag a person is not really ready for marriage even if they feel socially pressured to get married.  And if that does not fit you it isn't your problem so don't take it personally.  However, it tends to be a problem in our society and worthy of consideration. 

*Note:  Even though it is called peter-pan syndrome there are plenty of women who refuse to grow up.

So what does it mean that I refer to my boyfriend in conversation as "the boy" ?  Does that make me a child, or as someone who refuses to grow up? Last I checked, I'm a self supporting "grown up" as far as I knew. I take no offense in referring to women as girls either. Just curious.
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Trillian

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Re: Dating Rant
« Reply #117 on: September 22, 2010, 12:22:44 AM »

Last week we had 2 marriages, 2 engagements from our group.

Does anyone want updates on my dating foibles, or should I let the thread die?

And no, don't let it die, I find your situation incredibly interesting. I know very little about your faith, and I bet even if I did a lot of research I wouldn't find much on a person's journey through this dating business.
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libertylover

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Re: Dating Rant
« Reply #118 on: September 22, 2010, 06:17:32 AM »

Sorry, LibLov, but that sounds like a bunch of new age Woman’s Lib crap one would hear spewing from a Berkley female professor that doesn’t shave her legs or pits. Along the lines of all male/female sex is rape.
My co-works and I got upset at our female boss for referring to us as her girls because we found it demeaning as professionals.  Male professionals with masters degrees wouldn't be refereed to as my boys by a boss.  Would a group of male engineers be refereed to as boys?  I don't think so.  It has to do with respect and referring to people as being in a juvenile status is disrespectful.   This is why I call my man my partner and not my boyfriend. 

And what is with the straw-man about sex never said anything along those lines.  The rebuttals to that argument are desire, attraction, and orgasm.
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libertylover

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Re: Dating Rant
« Reply #119 on: September 22, 2010, 06:49:03 AM »


People's attitudes can be subliminal.  If a man addresses women as girls.  It could indicate an attitude you are not even aware you are projecting.   It potentially indicates peter-pan* syndrome.  The peter-pan* type tends to live at home, have a job with little to no responsibility or spend all their money on toys and other frivolous pursuits.    It is something for personal self examination and reflection.  Cause it is a big red flag a person is not really ready for marriage even if they feel socially pressured to get married.  And if that does not fit you it isn't your problem so don't take it personally.  However, it tends to be a problem in our society and worthy of consideration. 

*Note:  Even though it is called peter-pan syndrome there are plenty of women who refuse to grow up.

So what does it mean that I refer to my boyfriend in conversation as "the boy" ?  Does that make me a child, or as someone who refuses to grow up? Last I checked, I'm a self supporting "grown up" as far as I knew. I take no offense in referring to women as girls either. Just curious.

It is a possible indicator not a certainty.  That is why I said you have to do some personal reflection.  When you refer to a person in the juvenile, what are you really saying.   Are you placing the other person in a subordinate position or are you expressing a desire to remain without responsibility or is it just social conformity/habit.   The overall attitude and life style context are key in determining the sub-textual meaning.   When a female boss refereed to myself and my co-workers as her girls at an important meeting it was to keep us from consideration for more responsible positions within the structure of the company.  She was undermining us as potential competition.  If you don't have the other indicators of a sub-textual meaning then it is most likely social habit and nothing more. 
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